It’s not straightforward being a junior doctor. As I sit down in the on call room with my fourth cup of coffee since I woke up at dinner time, I reside the old mantra “this too shall pass, just get through this shift”. I hate night shifts.
It helps that this shift is on the stroke ward. And I know stroke pretty well, so at least I can enjoy that, knowing that whatever comes up will be easy for me. I’ve worked here for nearly a year and know the ward in and out, and I know all the patients on it tonight. No one is acutely ill, and there is cake in the break room. Also helps that the attending tonight is Ray Walker, the most recent hire in the department. Tall dark haired and classically handsome and annoyingly friendly, he’s loved by everyone. Especially the ladies. I need to be careful because I know he’s aware of it. I’ve made extensive effort to not show any sign of attraction around him, knowing that would not be helpful for anyone, since we need to work together. Any sort of office romance can quickly end in someone getting fired in this line of work, and I know full well that if a young female resident and a senior attending have a fling, it’s easy for the department to decide which one to fire.
I sigh. I know it’s not his fault but it feels unfair that I’m so replaceable and he’s not. I’m sure he enjoys the attention he’s getting from the female staff and for him it’s all good fun and he can enjoy it. For me it could mean the end of my career if I was suspected of dating a colleague. So because of this I’ve been particularly careful not to look too much at him and every time I’ve had to speak with him I’ve kept a neutral face, professional dialect and avoided any form of small talk. It’s been fairly easy since I like to keep it professional in work anyway. I was a gunner in med school and I still strive to be one of the best residents in the hospital. It has already started paying off and through the last year I’ve enjoyed constant positive feedback from my seniors for my extensive knowledge, professionalism and skill.
I sit back and sip my coffee and think about this. Dr. Walker knows I’m good. Any communications with him tonight will be via telephone as he’ll head home for the night and I’ll stay in the hospital, calling him only if there is a complex case that needs urgent specialist opinion. And I have a record of rarely needing to call the attending in the night since I can handle most cases myself, another reason why they like working with me. They can sleep though the night. And if all goes well Dr. Walker and I won’t have to talk until tomorrow morning when I brief him about the patients. Which I will do quickly and flawlessly while avoiding direct eye contact.
What could go wrong?
I look at the window in the deserted residents office, it’s dark out so I can only see my reflection. I check my hairstyle, my neat dark blonde curls placed in a bun. Makeup looking good still. Scrubs new and clean and I got the last small size so they fit me nicely, I do enjoy showing just a tiny bit of figure in the hospital. The head turns from the male staff remind me that I’m still human, and I get a weird kick out of seeing them sneak looks like little boys. Knowing most of them would never dare approach me, it gives me a sense of power. Occasionally I will notice it out of the corner of my eye and turn suddenly to look them dead in the eye with either no expression or a mild smirk. Seeing panic ensue and a young lab technician blush and scramble his papers, or a respected senior professor freeze like a deer in headlights always makes me smile.
I smile and look back to my desk. There are two small piles of folders I need to get through. I feel my smile disappearing and start to mentally prepare for typing up around twenty discharge summaries. The ward has been quiet since I got in, two hours ago. I look at the clock, 22:14. Time to wrap these up and maybe even get some sleep tonight.
A knock on the door interrupts my keyboard tapping as I log into the hospital database. I glance at the monitor screen in the top corner. No alarms on any patient. Must be a nurse needing a prescription. The night nurses are good, I´m friendly with most of them, one of the perks of being the only young female doctor. Hopefully not a patient needing to be seen, I do not want to get up. I yell “come in” as I remember, as always, that only a few of the nurses know the entry code to this office. I let out a groan over having to move, kick the table with my feet and roll my office chair to the door to open it from the inside. “heeey.. oh”. My smile freezes as I’m faced with Dr. Walker standing outside the door. Standing over me smiling politely as I’m still leaned back on my chair looking like an idiot. It briefly crosses my mind that my face is in direct line with his.. uhm. *Don´t look at his crotch you dumbass.* I quickly straighten up in my chair and rearrange my face to a formal smile. “Good evening Dr. Walker.” *Am I blushing?* My cheeks feel warm. I risk a brief look directly at his face. *Can he tell what I’m thinking?* He looks mildly amused. Damnit. Why is he here anyway, he should be well on his way home by now, surely he’s finished his ward work hours ago.
“Hi Sarah, are you on call tonight?” *No, I just like staying here typing discharge summaries in my spare time.*
“Ah yes, I’m on this week.” What could he possibly want from me now? I keep my trademark polite smile tightly on my face. I do a mental scan of all the patients on the ward and all the jobs that needed to be done. There’s nothing outstanding. No patient is unstable and no blood tests or MRIs need reviewing. I’ve made sure to do everything meticulously. As always.
He looks around the on call room. The attendings rarely come in here. I think it’s partly because they feel like they are invading the space of the junior doctors. After all this is where we keep our personal items, there’s a bed in here for the night shift, and some of my colleagues even change clothes here. Usually the male ones, and usually resulting in eye rolling and “ugh can you not” from the females. His eyes scan the room and he smiles. “Jeez, I haven’s been in here in years. You’ve got new computers.” *Of course.* He did a training job here when he was a junior, must have been ten years ago. He’s mentioned it in meetings. I look at him. He must be over 40. Maybe 45. He’s young for an attending but he’s at least a decade older than me. Looks good though. He’s taken care of himself through his training. I look over to our admittedly shiny new monitors on a long desk and give a small grin. “Yeah, they’re still running Windows XP on them though.” He laughs. *Damnit*. Even his laugh is attractive. It’s not like I haven’t heard it before, I know, but it feels very different now. We’re all alone in a room with a bed in it. And why is he here again? I look up at his face and become uncomfortable aware of how much lower down my face is than his since he’s standing. He looks back at me smiling and can feel my body tense up. *Shit. Look professional.* Why did I joke about the software? He must not think I’m flirting. I try to look casual and kick my chair back to the desk, to my piles of paper. Distance, whew. I can breathe now. But he seems to take this as an invitation and walk into the room, inspecting an anatomy poster on the wall with a nostalgic smile. *Why does he need to be so casual and likeable?*
I sit there trying to form a sentence to ask him what he needs when he suddenly looks at me “oh right, sorry” I concentrate on keeping a casual, polite half smile on my face. God it’s hard. Am I blushing? Why do I feel like I must look like an idiot right now? “I just came by to see who was on call tonight” *Dude, you can just look that up on the system.* “I got a call from one colleague up north about a patient he wants to send over, he should arrive with the helicopter i 4-5 hours. Sorry to put that on you, would you be able to see him when he arrives? He just needs a brief examination and check that all his bloods are in order” I let out a tiny sigh of relief. *He’s just informing me of an admission. Good, hopefully he’ll go now.* I quickly switch my face to happy-to-help. “Yes no problem at all, do you know his details?” He tells me. I write it down. But he’s still standing there.
“That’s no problem at all.” I look up with another polite smile. “Anything else you want to go over tonight?” Bad choice of words. He looks at me and for a split second the amused smile disappears and he just stares directly at me. I hold his gaze, knowing I should say something casual, professional. Look away and end this moment of silent eye contact. He’s stood in the center of the room, by the poster of different brain regions, one hand in the pocket of his suit pants. Light blue shirt, no tie. His head is turned towards me. I’m sat in my office chair, dark blue scrubs on, all manner of crap clipped and pinned to me. Pens and paper in breast pocket, ID card clipped to the neck line, old pager clipped to the side pocket, stethoscope around my neck. The scrubs fit me nicely though, stretching ever so slightly over my breasts and hips. My hair up in a bun and a bit of makeup on. I know I look good, having just checked my reflection out earlier. But does he think so?
I realise that I feel completely exposed. But I don’t move, I stare back with a blank expression. Taking in the form of him standing there I can’t help but feel a warm shiver down my spine and between my legs. For a microsecond my mind plays a scene of him pushing me into the wall, his hands on my thighs, ass, between my legs, where I need them right now. *Stop it.* I blink once, maintaining composure, aware that my heart rate has gone up.
It’s been 7 months since I broke it off with my last boyfriend. Noting wrong with him, just wasn’t into him. Since then I’ve had one relatively bad one night stand, otherwise haven’t been fucked in a while. And I know it’s starting to affect me. Sure I can get what I need with hands and few pieces of battery powered equipment (sometimes very well in fact), but there are times where you just want to be fucked. Hard and fast. It’s something that can’t be replaced. And I know I’ve been needing it lately. I had times of random bursts of arousal around attractive male colleagues, when they’re standing very close and I’ve gotten sudden, unexpected urges to grab them and beg them to fuck me. These weird, primitive urges, I had concluded, are surely a manifestation of the stress of the job and not having a boyfriend. But it unsettled me. My job needs to come first, I can’t mess with that.
He breaks the stare. *Whew*. That was too long. I Look to the window only to see my reflection looking back. Do I look flushed? I try to regain composure. He’s looking at the piles of unfinished discharge summaries on my desk. I look at them too. Remembering what I had been doing before he entered. I look back at him, he’s walking over now*. Nonono, you’re supposed to be leaving.* Smiling he picks one up. “Oh my god are these all unfinished?” He laughs “I remember having to do all those when I was an intern here. Who discharged ten people on a Tuesday, Dr. Sandovel?” He looks at me smiling. It had indeed been Dr. Sandovel, famous for mass-discharging patients every few weeks in bursts of productivity between days of being unreachable in his office. I nod and I must have made a look because Dr. Walker laughs and flips through one of the files.
I look up at him in defeat. I no longer know how to handle this situation. Why hasn’t he gone home? He could have easily called my cell to inform me about an admission coming in. He sits down in the next office chair to me, looking at an ECG in the file.
I sneak a look at him, my eyes lingering on his mouth and chin, I wonder if he’s a good kisser. Following his jawline to his neck, he’s got slight stubble now, he probably shaved this morning. It probably feels rough to the touch. I bet I could make him moan kissing and licking his jaw. My eyes wander down the smooth skin on his neck to his chest and shoulders. *Fuck*. I can definitely feel my heart rate now, I’m vaguely aware that I should look away but I can’t get the image of those shoulders pressing into me as I get fucked deep.
*Ok stop this nonsense now.* My intelligent brain kicks back in and I breathe out, stealing one last glance at his face before getting back to my computer monitor I catch his eye. *Shitshitshit*. Did he see me looking at him? Is he aware of how horny I am right now? Surely he can’t. And even if he does he can’t prove it. Stay cool. I flash him my happiest polite smile “Um yes it was Dr. Sandovel actually, but it’s ok really, it gives me something to do during the night, last couple of nights have been very slow.” *Nailed it.* It’s a standing joke that you can sleep during most night shifts but you should never ever admit it to a senior or say it out loud. Always say you spent a slow night doing paperwork. Even if there’s an actual bed in the room you should never say you slept in it. An old remnant of the code of honour I guess.
He looks up with another amused smile “Ah yes, I also used to spend slow night shifts doing discharge summaries when I was a resident here” There’s a playful tone in his voice. Why is he joking with me? Maybe he wants to be on good terms with the junior doctors. Maybe I have been too cold to him in my efforts to hide my desiring him. Most of the attendings try to be on friendly basis with the residents, it makes all communications a lot easier when you can smile and joke. Maybe he thinks I don’t like him and he’s trying to establish a friendly rapport. I suddenly feel bad for all the times I gave him a cold, formal front in conversations. Maybe he was just trying to be nice. I relax my shoulders and lean back in the chair as I swing it to face my monitor and grab one of the other files. I let out a little laugh. ” Why of course” I joke, “How else would you pass the time?” I look over to the bed in the corner of the room and back at him with an innocent smile.
He looks properly amused now. Is he blushing? *Perfect*. I feel like I have regained control of this conversation. I keep my smile on, open the random file I picked and start typing the patient into the system. Surely he will leave soon. I wish he would go soon so I could alleviate the tension I’m feeling. I’m sure I’ll come within seconds of touching my clit, my panties feel wet and I’m fairly sure the temperature between my legs has gone up a few degrees. Once he’s gone I can lie back on the bed and imagine him on top of me.
Source: reddit.com/r/sexystories/comments/c1c38f/on_call_pt_1_fm_female_pov_older_man
Hot and very well written. Love the hospital setting.
___*OMFG !*___