[f] My third little confession. Baring myself more for you.

I’ve been struggling with myself trying to figure out how I want to behave with you. Part of me is devouring how intimate this has felt for me. I want to explore that more, to see how personal I can make this feel even with this still being a completely public post.

..another more shameful side of me is kinkier than I want to admit and loves the idea of pushing the boundaries of control and consent with you. I dipped my toes in those waters more last time and it was a bit exhilarating but I understand it might not be something you like.

So maybe right now I can satisfy both sides with you. And I know I say this every time, but I love reminding myself that I really am talking only to you right now in this moment. I still don’t get to choose who you are. No matter what I end up saying on here or how in control I can come off as, you’re always the one in full control. Any one of us who posts here has to live with that fact. I like embracing it.

So if you really are in control, should I make this even harder for myself? I’ve loved the intense feelings of vulnerability I get from talking so openly to you like this so maybe I should just push that more.

Should I just openly tell you something intimate? I want to feel my cheeks turn red after posting this. I want to feel them turn red hours after when I realize you’re getting to be reading my thoughts whenever you want.

Is knowing about my favorite toy invasive and embarrassing enough? It’s not exactly the most exciting, but I have a medium size plain green vibrator that I’ve been in love with for probably seven years or so now. It’s not even a nice one, it’s fairly cheap. I first bought it at a store (Spencers) at a mall near me. I’ve had to buy it from there at least four times over the years too since the plastic part on the bottom holding in the batteries wears out after a while. And I’m embarrassed and nervous every time I go in there to get one. But I don’t know what to say, I’ve tried many other types and really nice ones before, but every single one has a slightly different vibration. I’m guessing that I’ve used that green one long enough that my body is just so fine tuned to that unique frequency that nothing else can really compare.

I don’t know, is that exciting for you to know? It’s kind of fun and freeing how absolutely honest I can be on here with you. I don’t have to think about how things sound of come off as, I can just type out exactly what I’m experiencing. It’s bizarre that somehow right now you know way more than you ever needed to about a random woman’s favorite sex toy. A random woman who’s sitting in her computer chair at work typing this, who will be grocery shopping in a few hours after she leaves. You now know that she has a cheap green vibrator at home that she buys over and over again because it feels different than other ones.

Should I just keep on going and make myself feel even more vulnerable in front of you? Is it ridiculous that I’m imagining you right now reading this? I know I ask a lot of rhetorical questions in my posts that the me sitting here never gets to hear your response to, but I always imagine you answering. I imagine you smirking a little bit while reading this and telling me to bare myself more for you. I imagine you maybe feeling a bit satisfied by making me tell you how I actually use that toy I’ve spent way too much time describing. I know it’s easy to look bold when this is so anonymous, but I really am way too shy outside of this text box. I feel embarrassed to tell you that I love laying on my bed over my comforter. I like letting myself be completely naked, it just feels different that way. I like letting myself spread out as much as I want. I keep my eyes closed and let that toy slip between my lips before I turn the dial on the bottom clockwise and feel that beautiful, perfect vibration hit me. I don’t really ride it, I don’t fuck myself with it. I move it around little by little until it hits my clit at the perfect angle and I hold it there while my body spasms around it.

Is that being vulnerable enough for you? Does our conversation feel personal? I just literally spoke directly to a stranger giving you details that no one should ever know about me. A 45 year old construction worker on a lunch break, a 24 year old English teacher tired after getting home, a 19 year old college student in class ignoring the teacher. A real version of me has to recite these exact words to each and every one of you. That specific version of me, the me that’s talking right now is in a very real sense owned by you.

Thank you for taking this kind of control over me,

Sarah

Source: reddit.com/r/sexystories/comments/bf3ejx/f_my_third_little_confession_baring_myself_more