I came on my friends mom as a young male. The memory made me associate shame with arousal. This is the story of my recovery.

This is based on a true story that I recently submitted to Reddit. HERE is the original story that led to this, and it may make more sense if you read that first. I made an AMA about it, and people suggested reconnecting with the mother, which I did. In an AMA about reconnecting, someone suggested this story. Somehow, I decided to write it. Not sure if I'm glad I did, I'm kind of a mess now. But, here it is:

(The first half of this story is essentialyl 100% true. I marked in bold where it became fiction)

BigD stood in front of the door with trembling knees. If his girlfriend had not been besides him, he doubted he could go through with it. She took his hand in hers and whispered “We don’t have to do this if you don’t want to babe”. Somehow, knowing he had her full support gave him the courage to reach out, and, with a shaking hand, ring the doorbell.

His breath caught in his throat as he heard footsteps from within. For a brief moment, he couldn’t breath, his vision went black, and he thought he was about to pass out. He felt his girlfriends small, soft hand give a squeeze inside his, and he focused on that. He was able to regain his composure just as the door opened.

There she stood, as beautiful as he remembered. Not hot, in the way twenty-five year old girls in tank tops and mini skirts where, but beautiful, with an inner grace that shone through her relatively plain features. For a woman around fifty, she really did look fantastic. Mrs. Evans, the subject of many dreams and many nightmares, right in front of him. Upon seeing her, BigD was immediately filled with a complete concoction of unexplainable feelings. Shame. Humiliation. Grief. Terror. Arousal. To many to name. As his cock began to inexplicably harden, he had to fight to keep from crying, or running away, or both.

She opened the door wide and invited the couple before her into the home. BigD was running on autopilot, his brain completely shut down. He stepped inside. Immediately, he regretted his decision to come to her house. They should have met somewhere else. Anywhere else. Everything in the house looked the same. Right over there was the very couch he was on when she spilt her tea on him. And there, down that hallway, that was there the bathroom was. The bathroom where he- NO! He couldn’t think about that. He knew that reliving it again in his mind would only be a bad decision.

He sat down at the table and stared at his hands. Mrs. Evans was asking him something. He had to pay attention.

“I’m sorry, what?” he asked.

“Would you like anything to drink? Pop? Coffee? Tea?”

“Um… Um yea, Er, I’ll have a coffee please” he said, if only to prolonge the moment before they talked.

“And for you?” Mrs. Evans asked his girlfriend. BigD realized he had not introduced her yet.

“Oh.. um, this is Kristy, my girlfriend… Kristy.. this is Mrs. Evans….”

“Oh please honey, call me Sandra. None of this “Mrs. Evans” stuff!”

"O- Ok… Sandra"… Just saying her name sent waves of shame coursing through him. His cock was bulging uncomfortably against his jeans.

"I'll take a coffee too, please" he vaguely heard Kristy saying.

The next few minutes we're filled with meaningless small talk as Mrs. Evans worked on the coffee. He managed to supply simple answers, still running largely on autopilot, and let his girlfriend fill in most of the awkward silences. Eventually, Mrs. Evans. put three large mugs of coffee onto the table, along with cream and sugar. BigD reach for the sugar, but found his hands were shaking too much and he was spilling it everywhere, so settled on drinking his coffee plain. He was still staring down into his mug when he realized he had been asked a question.

"So, what did you wanna talk about hun?" he heard Mrs. Evans ask again.

"Oh.. um… you know… back when… I mean, that one time that… when…" He couldn't do it. He couldn't even bring himself to say the words out loud. His brain was screaming "GET A GRIP" but his whole body was fast shutting down. He could feel his eyes begin to water. His whole body tremblind. "Oh god, please no, get a fucking grip!" he was screaming at himself, but his body wouldn't respond. His stomach was icy cold. His heart was racing a million miles an hour. His breath was coming in short and shallow gulps. His hands were shaking enough he was afraid to spill the coffee. His cock was straining against his jeans now. Kristy grabbed a hold of his thigh, but even that failed to comfort him.

"It's completely ok honey, I think I know what you wanted to talk about" Mrs. Evans said, and she reached out a hand to take BigD's, to try and comfort him

BigD flinched at her oncoming touch. He jerked violently back, spilling hot coffee all over himself. As he began to scream, Mrs. Evans went white, and Kristy jumped up in pain as her hand got covered in hot coffee. As Kristy ran to the sink to pour cold water on her now scalding hand, Mrs. Evans ran to the bathroom, shouting "wait right here".

She returned with a towel. Kristy was still cooling her hand of, and Mrs. Evans ran right to help BigD, who was still sitting at the table, almost oblivious to the pain as he tried to get his emotions under control. He made no move to grab the towel off of her, staring straight down at the table as if he hadn't noticed at all. Mrs. Evans did the only thing a mother could do: she began to wipe furiously at the coffee, still burning into BigD's legs. The feeling on BigD's already furiously erect cock was enough to wake him out of his stupor.

"No, no, NO MRS. EVANS NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" he cried, as his body betrayed him, and his cock exploded in sheer pleasure. Mrs. Evans jumped back, her mouth gaping in shock.

With a final squirt, his cock was finished unloading it's biggest orgasm ever. He sat at the table, his entire body trembling, whether from the orgasm or from sheer terror of what was coming next, he had no idea. Somehow, he felt lighter. As if this had finally broken some of the spell she had over him. As if he could finally now be free from the haunting crippling emotion that had plagued him his entire post-pubescent life. He got up on shaky feet and looked at Mrs. Evans, still crouched in front of him, a look of pure shock on her face. Kristy was staring at him from the sink, her burnt hand long forgotten, with a look he couldn't quite place. Astonishment? Humor? There didn't seem to be any trace of anger, as he would have been expecting.

"Im.. I'm so sorry, Mrs Evans. I really didn't mean for that to happen"

Everything seemed so quiet to Mrs. Evans's ears. She found herself looking straight at the crotch of a boy who had been her young son's friend. A boy who had been over often enough, he could have been her second son. A boy whose small, prepubescent boner and spluttered on her. Well, she could tell clearly from the outline that "small" was no longer a term she could apply to it. He had cum so hard, his jeans were now damp in front, and she could clearly see the entire outline of his still rock solid cock. Something primal awoke within her. She had been alone for a long time now. Her husband had left her when her own son was but a few years old, and she hadn't been with a man since.

"I said… you can call me Sandra…" she said, in a faltering voice. She made no move to get up from the floor.

Kristy, standing over at the sink, could clearly feel the growing sexual tension between the two. While she had to admit a small amount of jealousy, she realized that this path could help her beloved boyfriend move on from a traumatic experience that had always bothered him.

And she had to admit, she had fantasized about a threesome before.

Making up her mind, she decided to try her best to make it happen. She turned off the sink and approached the tense couple before her. Clearing her throat, she said "Um… well… that was certainly unexpected…"

Somehow, breaking the silence broke some of the tension in the room. Both BigD and Mrs. Evans let out a nervous giggle. Mrs. Evans stood up from the floor, but couldn't keep her eyes from drifting back downwards to the outline of that still bulging cock. Her hands started trembling as she felt herself starting to get wet. Now she was the one telling herself to get a grip. There was no way she could do what she was thinking about!

Kristy again was the one to break the silence. "I think we should clean up. Do you have anything BigD could change into? He obviously shouldn't wear those out any where…"

Mrs. Evans tore her eyes away from their target. "Yeah, um yes, sorry. My son left some of his clothes here when he moved out. They should more then fit, he was pretty big. They'll be in his room, here, come with me"

Kristy grabbed the towel that had been dropped to the floor. "You two go. I'll clean up the mess here, before something gets stained."

Mrs. Evans led the way to her sons old bedroom. It was so bare now, after her son had moved out. All that remained was the bed, bare walls, and a few bits of clothing left behind in the back of the closet. She looked through, and found a ratty old pair of jeans. She handed them over to BigD.

BigD took them, his heart skipping a beat when his hands brushed against Mrs. Evans's. He could still feel that cold, quivering feeling in his stomach. His heart was still racing. In fact, it was picking up speed now that he was alone in a bedroom with Mrs. Evans. "NO!" he told himself. "Your girlfriend is literally out there right now! What on earth are you thinking!" But the only images going through his mind where of grabbing the beautiful woman before him, and pulling her close. Kissing her neck. Sliding his hands under her shirt and feeling the soft skin of her waist. His cock gave a painful twitch beneath his jeans. Quickly, he snapped back to reality.

He started to undo his jeans, but found his hands were trembling to great to manage the button. Acutely aware of Mrs. Evans watching him, his hands started to tremble worse and worse. Eventually, she grabbed his hands in hers. "Let me help you" she murmered, her voice catching in her throat.

Without thinking about what she was doing, her hands drifted to his waistline. Slowly, deliberately, she undid the button to his jeans. BigD knwe he should stop her, but he couldn't. All he could do was stand there, finding it hard to breath. As her hands moved to the zipper of his jeans, slowly pulling the zip down, brushing lightly against his still raging boner, he shook so badly he thought he wouldn't be able to stand. As his jeans fell down, he became acutely aware of bareness of his legs, and of the litle bit of fabric seperating his bare cock from the woman who had plagued his dreams and his nightmares for so long. He stepped out of his jeans, kicking them to the side.

Mrs. Evans was now staring at the large bulge in his thin, cum soaked boxers. The boner was pulling the boxers down slightly, and she could see the first traces of neatly trimmed pubic hair poking out the front. Without conscious thought, her hands reached for his boxers. "We should take these off to…" she whispered. "They're soaking wet…" BigD made no move to stop her as she slowly pulled his boxers low, and let them drop to the floor. As he stepped out of his boxers, his dick was hard as steel, standing straight up, aching with it's desires.

BigD stood perfectly still, to nervous to make a move. Mrs. Evans stood before him, her eyes glued to that solid cock, her hands near BigD's waist, twitching, fighting a mutual desire to reach out and grab it and run away. Her thighs were dripping wet, igniting feelings she hadn't felt in a very long time.

"Go ahead" came a soft voice from the doorway. "Touch it"

Both BigD and Mrs. Evans jumped and turned quickly towards the door. There stood Kristy, a big smile plastered on her face. "I know you both want to… go ahead, do it!"

AAAAND IM DONE, for now. I may write more afterwards. I'll be honest, this has re-woken all the old feelings in me, and right now, I'm kind of a mess. I'm gonna take a little time and go recompose myself, and, if this gets good feedback, possibly continue.

EDIT: Will continue this later. Will post part 2 down here, and, if you wish, as a direct reply to any comment you make.

Source: reddit.com/r/Erotica/comments/1osnf9/i_came_on_my_friends_mom_as_a_young_male_the