“So Simon, in the email you reached out to me you sounded a little desperate for help with, I believe you called it, social anxieties. Is that right?” Dr. Veneger asked, sitting across from me, notepad and pencil in hand.
When frantically looking for a therapist a couple nights earlier, I neglected to look at any of their pictures or even their gender in my haste. So it was to my surprise that Dr. Veneger was not only a relatively young female, but an incredibly attractive one. I had always pictured myself speaking to a male therapist, but since I was already sitting across from this beautiful brunette doctor, I figured why not.
“Yes, that’s right.”
“Okay, and I saw you originally emailed me kind of late, I think it was around 11pm or so. Was there any reason for that? I’ve found that that’s the time where impulse decisions thrive.” She asked while simultaneously scribbling on her notepad.
“Yeah I suppose so. During the day I’m able to kind of push aside any worries or concerns, but at night it seems like I tend to ruminate on them a bit more. Hence the late night email asking for help. Not that I regret sending it really, I definitely need to talk to someone.” I smiled shyly, trying to play off the ambiguity as an attempt at being a little tongue-in-cheek.
“I see. So as you’re a new possible patient for me, I can take a guess at the best method, but I like to ask all new patients if there’s any specific things or processes they’re looking for specifically from me? Some patients just want someone to talk to, some want a life coach type thing, whatever it is, I like to cater my own process to any of the preferences you might have. So any thoughts?” She posed, asking both with her supple red lips and piercing green eyes.
“Um, I guess I don’t know much about therapy or anything like that as much as you do, but I always pictured myself kind of just talking to someone and getting feedback on healthier ways to go about things or tips to work on. But I’m not sure if that’s just my idea of therapy from movies and stuff or if what I actually want” I said, nervously laughing as I finished. I tend to laugh out of nervousness whenever I’m circumventing embarrassing truths, this being a prime example.
“I see, that’s a pretty typical form of talk therapy, and something we can certainly do. I definitely have a lot of experience doing this and think that we’ll be able to make some serious progress together. Would you like to continue? Just kind of get right into it ya know? It seems like there might have been a specific event or maybe just more generally, an identifiable problem you’d like to address?” Her gaze was unwavering and held me in place. Despite the dim lighting, with her eyes glued to me, I felt as if I was in a spotlight on stage.
“Um, okay yeah I guess that makes sense. So, uhh, I met my girlfriend awhile ag-… er, I guess ex-girlfriend now. But we met awhile ago, couple years now, and we dated up until last week…” Trying to think of a way to phrase the reason behind the breakup to minimize embarrassment, I paused, and was abruptly cut off by Dr. Veneger.
“Ah, okay. So that was what caused you to reach out then I imagine? First breakups are always a common cause of emotional trauma or at least turmoil. It’s often…” She began practically monologuing about the greatest hits of problems caused by breakups. I tried to look interested and like I was listening, but as I knew immediately that my problem was not going to be on her radar, I drifted off, lost in thought trying to conceptualize a way to describe the issue while keeping some dignity.
“Uh, excuse me, I don’t mean to cut you off. Well, I guess I did, but not to be rude!” I tried laughing a little to emphasize I wasn’t trying to be rude. Dr. Veneger made me feel insufficient in every way by just looking at me. It wasn’t an unfamiliar feeling. “It’s just that. Well, there was a very specific reason for my relationship ending, and, uh, well that’s really my biggest concern; that reason, not so much the relationship itself. If that makes sense”
“Of course, don’t worry about offending me or anything Simon, I’m here to help you, regardless of what that entails. So, this “reason”, as you call it. I’m guessing there’s a reason you’re avoiding saying what it is. I might be off, and if I am, I apologize, but is this reason sexual of some nature?” She had broken her gaze on me for the first time with this, turning to face her notepad as she wrote assuredly. She had the look of someone who figured out the ending of a movie half way through.
Knowing that she’s already a step ahead of me, and that there wasn’t ever going to be a good time to bring it up, this was perhaps the best opportunity I would have.
“Um. Yeah, I suppose so.” I sat abashedly, shuffling my hands together and avoiding eye contact with the beautiful woman across from me.
“I see. I’ve found that with past patients who had similar issues they wanted to address, but felt weird, or whatever the feeling is, about approaching the subject, have had success and much more comfort if they were to write down the problem in as much detail as possible and then give me the letter. I can either read it while you’re here or if you’re really uncomfortable with it, I can read it alone and prepare a way to discuss it in a comfortable manner for you at the following session. Is that something that might appeal to you?” She had set her pencil down now and was back to gazing at me, into me.
I almost felt elated, metaphorically dodging a bullet of humiliation. “Oh, yes! That actually sounds great to me. Could I write it up for you and have you read it alone? I’m sure you’ve heard worse problems in your career, its just been a source of a lot of embarrassment for me over the years.” I rushed out, finally making eye contact with Dr. Veneger, now feeling inordinately confident.
“Okay, great. Well, we only have a few minutes left in this session and I’m sure you’ll want to spend some time on your letter for me so lets say we wrap up today and plan to meet again this time next week?”
“Okay sure, sounds good to me. And I can just email you the letter whenever I finish it?”
“Yes, email is preferable. The only thing I ask Simon, is that you give me the whole story and any specific details that might be necessary/important factors in any of it. I ask this for your sake. If there are holes or parts missing that I feel I might need to know to fully help, it’ll probably be more comfortable for you if I didn’t have to ask about them in person. Plus, this way, its like ripping a band-aid off, you just gotta get through it this one time and hopefully won’t have to keep returning to the details that might make you uncomfortable to talk about. Does that sound okay with you?”
“Yeah, sure, I understand. I’ll get working on it tonight while I’m feeling confident about making progress with you.”
“Perfect. I’ll see you next week Simon. Please feel free to reach out if you need anything or have any questions. Nice to meet you Simon.” She stood up with me and reached out to shake my hand. I shook hers, returned good-byes and left.
Hopping on the train to head home, when I would normally be reading to pass the time, I instead spent the ride home typing up the beginning of my letter on my phone. Arriving at my stop, I exited the train and quickly headed to my apartment, anxious to finish my letter.
I wasn’t able to finish the letter that night, but managing to wrap it up the following night, I sent it to Dr. Veneger.
It read as follows:
“Dear Dr. Veneger,
First I wanted to thank you for being understanding about this line of communication. Just having this opportunity to discuss in a judgement free zone, I already feel better and more relaxed. That being said, I’ll get into it I guess.
I started dating Sierra when I was 17 years old. She was a grade and a year ahead of me, a senior when I was a junior in school and 18 when I was 17. Now, you’ve seen me in person, I know I’m objectively pretty good looking, or at the very least, not unattractive, but Sierra was absolutely gorgeous and absolutely out of my league so to speak. I managed to earn a reputation at school for being quiet and weird, but nice nonetheless. Suffice to say, I wasn’t very successful with girls.
Well, Sierra transferred to our school after moving here and as a new student, was assigned a ‘mentor’ to show her around the school and help her get from class to class. I won the lottery, and got paired up with her. So on her first day in school, unaware of the reputation I had as well as not knowing any of the more qualified guys in school, I was essentially the hottest and most appealing guy she knew in school.
Overcompensating for my nerves and lack of experience flirting, I went back and forth between talking too much and too fast, to being awkwardly quiet. Fortunately Sierra didn’t seem to notice, and even, seemed to find it a bit endearing. One thing led to another, and fighting through the voice in my head urging me not to, I asked her for her number and if she’d like to hang out sometime to which she agreed.
After a couple times hanging out we started ‘officially’ dating. Around this time I started to learn a lot more about Sierra. Over a month or so I learned that she moved here with her Father, who was a successful pharmaceutical salesmen and who was subsequently rarely home, leaving her with more freedom than I was ever awarded at my own house. She confided in me that she had reacted poorly when her parents first divorced when she was 13 and in a poor attempt at dealing with it, she acted out in a very ‘slutty’ way. Essentially, she slept around a lot at her old school from a very young age.
I had asked her how many guys she had sex with, not knowing what i know now (not to ever ask that), and she wouldn’t tell me the exact number but insisted if I guessed it she would confirm it. After several guesses, starting low and incrementally increasing with each guess, I guessed 40 and she said close enough. I was a virgin at this time and felt severely inadequate, fearing that any sign of inferiority from me, would disrupt whatever illusion of who I was that Sierra was seeing where she would date me.
I was relieved when she said she was unhappy acting so slutty and all it did was cause problems for her, so she’s trying to change and find someone special instead of anyone with a pulse. Feeling like I dodged a bullet in being cornered into exposing my sexual inexperience, I fully supported this and assured her I wouldn’t pressure her into anything.
This is where the real problem began. A couple days after our talk about her past and her abundance of sexual experience, she called me up crying in the middle of the night. She said that she’s worried that by her not willing to have sex with me right away or soon, that I would cheat on her. I of course assured her this wasn’t the case, but she seemed doubtful. After some silence and her seeming to refuse to answer anything I said, she dances around the question a bit and eventually asks me if I watch porn.
I feel I need to justify my actions throughout this, but essentially it always boils down to me seeing Sierra as so far out of my league, that I convinced myself that she doesn’t really know who I am, and that I have to basically play a character that fits any possible criteria she may have so she wouldn’t leave me.
I did watch porn, of course, I was a 17 year old boy. However, I wasn’t sure what the right answer to tell her was. I decided saying no would lead to the discussion of my sexual past and the revelation that I’m actually a virgin, so I told the truth (though it felt like a lie, as everything I did or said to Sierra felt, since I was actively trying to act and be someone I felt I wasn’t, but someone who Sierra wanted) and told her that I did watch porn.
She went silent for a little bit after I told her I did watch porn. Unsure what to say, but nervous that I just ruined my only chance with a girl like her, I tried to fill any silence over the phone with assertions that I thought she wanted/needed to hear. None of them had any effect though.
She finally broke her silence, and in no response to anything I said, asked me to promise to stop watching porn and masturbating. She said she knew it was extreme and probably unreasonable, but that it was the only way she could trust me to not be looking elsewhere for sexual pleasures.
Like I mentioned before, willing to do anything, no matter how uncharacteristic, to keep her interest and her as my girlfriend, I of course agreed. Though I didn’t think I would actually stay true to this at the time, it didn’t matter, I would have said anything.
To my surprise I actually did abstain from porn and masturbation throughout the rest of our relationship. It was difficult, but every time I was tempted to look at porn or masturbate, the feeling of guilt and worry that Sierra would somehow know, overpowered the desire without fail.
I didn’t know enough about my body or libido or really anything sexually related at all, to recognize the direct effects this abstinence was having on me.
Within about a week I had a wet dream for the first time since I was 11 or so. Of all times for this to have happened, it happened one of the nights that I spent over at Sierra’s house while her father was out of town. We were asleep in her bed, she was wearing pajama’s and I was just in my boxers. I remember it clearly, I was having a dream about her taking off her pajama’s because it was ‘too hot’, and then all of a sudden I felt like I had peed myself. Waking up nervous and confused, I feel a warmth and wetness on my crotch and under my thighs. Unfamiliar with wet dreams or what they felt like after years of not having them, I freak out, worried that I peed the bed, and jump out of bed. In my haste I forgot to be careful to not wake Sierra. She of course wakes up to me rushing out of bed.
Groggy at first after being startled awake, she quickly comes to and asked ‘What’s that smell?’ I tried to stammer out something but it didn’t matter as she was already patting the wet area. After feeling the dampness of the sheets, she leaned closer to smell it, curious about what her boyfriend had just done.
Her face moved into the dark spot apprehensively, nose crinkled up in anticipation of disgust. When she was a few inches from the area, her crinkled nose dropped back to normal, she sprung her head up looking at me with wide eyes and snorted a laugh. Rushing her hands to cover her mouth and stifle the laughter, in what I assume was an attempt to spare my dignity. I dejectedly walked away, grabbing my shorts off the floor, and headed to the adjacent bathroom to clean up.
While stepping out of my boxers and tearing off a chunk of toilet paper, I heard the iconic sound of Sierra’s cell phone unlocking, and the fast, excited clicking of typing out a text. It was 3:30 AM on a tuesday, nobody else was up, there was only one thing she could be texting at this hour, after what just happened.
Horrified of what waited for me on the other side of the door, I sat in defeated silence for what felt like an hour. The only measure of time being the clicks of typing coming from Sierra. After the first lapse in texting I heard, I slowly opened the door, preparing myself to deal with any questions, statements or worse, laughter, that may be waiting for me.
To my surprise, or rather, an answer to my prayer, she was laying back down with her eyes closed. The sheets on the floor. As well as my pillow. I didn’t think for a second she was asleep, but positive I’d rather pretend I did and avoid this discussion, I picked up my pillow and headed to the guest bedroom.
The next morning I woke up to find Sierra was gone and I was alone in her house. Walking out to the kitchen I see a note she left for me. I can’t remember exactly what it said but it essentially said she left to hang out with a group of friends for breakfast before school and she would see me later.
I was nervous that my wet dream the night before ruined things, and that she was now with her friends from school laughing at me and letting everyone know what a loser I was. I convinced myself that this was just anxiety and that she loved me and wasn’t doing that, and that it probably wasn’t even a big deal. I told myself that she had been with so many guys there’s no way this is the first time something like this happened.
I was wrong.
Later that day at school, I was acutely aware of more glances coming my way from several girls. After I caught on to the looks, I noticed that most of these girls were either directly or indirectly friends with Sierra. Talking myself into a delusional state of denial, I told myself I was noticing things that weren’t really happening, a type of confirmation bias if you will.
That wet dream incident and the subsequent concerns about who knew, if anyone, were the only incident for awhile.
Eventually, it was our ‘5 month anniversary’. I always thought these random month anniversary’s were kind of stupid, but like everything else Sierra asked, I went along with it. We went to a dinner where I listened to Sierra complain about the new company her Father was working for and some of the things they’re working on. The dinner wasn’t overly exciting, but wasn’t bad either.
We went home to her empty house to watch a movie on her big screen TV. I would normally control the remote and would usually pick what we watch as Sierra’s typically pretty indifferent about TV and movies. But tonight, she grabs the remote before me and puts on a movie she had previously recorded called “The Art of ED”. She told me it was a documentary, but not about what.
Seeing the title I figured the ‘ED’ was short for education. Turns out, I wasn’t that far off. It was kind of about education, except, specifically the education about erectile dysfunction.
Careful to not show I was uncomfortable, and trying to act like I didn’t think this was directed at me, I watched without hesitation or comment. The documentary wasn’t of great quality, it was mainly a monologue from one doctor and full of dense material and statistics about erectile dysfunction.
When it’s finished, knowing without a doubt that this was specifically picked for me to watch and that there has to be a reason for it, I asked Sierra what she thought of it, still trying to be coy. She explained that this was a documentary put out by her Fathers company and that after reading some of the material directly from her Father she’s worried about my sexual health. She referred to the frequently brought up statistic about men who don’t masturbate frequently are more likely to develop certain cancers. I must have gotten excited thinking that she was going to say she’s okay with me masturbating, or even better, that we could have sex of some sort, because she seemed to see the change in my expression and quickly added that nothing has changed with what she asked me to do, or rather, not do. She said that she just wanted to give me some medication from her Father’s company which helps stave off cancer from sexually inactive people. She told me its just because she cares about me but doesn’t want to go against her wishes for abstinence.
It made sense, and honestly, even if it didn’t, I wouldn’t have said no to her. She reached into her purse on the glass coffee table and pulled out the standard orange pill bottle, and handed it to me, telling me to take one now and one every following night before bed.
Now, this is probably concerning for several reasons to you reading this. It was awhile ago so my memory isn’t 100% on what she said, but after the documentary with her reasoning, she had provided a really strong argument convincing me not to worry about the medication.
The only thing that stood out to me was that this bottle was prescribed directly to me. It had my name on it, all the standard RX information and markings, all but the actual name of the medication. Thinking it was weird that it was prescribed directly to me, I figured she had to have told someone at her Father’s company about me and gotten it, but told myself that that’s just a testament to how much she must care about me.
Things were normal for the next couple of months. I stopped noticing people looking at me in the halls at school, me and Sierra seemed to be getting closer; sleeping together (not sex, just actually sleeping) most nights and spending a lot of time together. Most of this time, looking back on it, I felt an unusual elation. An artificial happiness, if you will. At the time I attributed it to my feelings for Sierra, but now, being objective, it wasn’t natural at all. During this time I had noticed an increase in what I expect to be my libido. I was horny much more frequently, and would get erect much easier with much less reason (whether it be visual, auditory or physical stimulation). Despite this change, I remained true to my word and never masturbated or looked at porn of any kind.
After a couple weeks on this medication, I had another wet dream. This time, like last time, happened while sleeping in the same bed as Sierra. Except this time, instead of laughing and changing the sheets, she simply gave me a sharp smile, closed her eyes and went back to sleep. I slept in the guest bedroom again this time.
Over the course of the next 2 weeks after this 2nd wet dream, they started to occur more frequently. It got to the point that I would have a wet dream almost every night, if not, every other. After 2 weeks of this happening more and more frequently, I brought it up to Sierra, expressing concerns about the effects of the medication.
She said she definitely noticed, but that it’s expected. She was able to convince me that the fact that I wasn’t having wet dreams often before the medication, and the frequency of them now, was actually evidence of their effectiveness and success. Unaware of anything that said otherwise, I believed her.
Things started to get worse for me after those 2 weeks. Once I was consistently having wet dreams every night, or every other, it started to uh, bleed over into my conscious life as well. I noticed that during school it would take very little to get extremely erect. It started out subtly but as I paid more and more attention to it I was able to see changes over time. It started with things I would normally find attractive, but just at an increased intensity. Things like girls with nice butts, cleavage, the standard things. Until eventually I noticed that while those all would still get me almost instantly erect, there were additional things that normally wouldn’t excite me, that now did at the same intensity as the staple stimuli. Things like a girl saying my name, the smell of a girls perfume and strangely, the color pink seemed to effect me more and more.
This pattern of escalation continued until practically anything remotely related to femininity would get me erect and insatiably horny. I had to make sure I was wearing semi-tight jeans everyday in fear of getting a noticeable erection in public. This worked for the most part with the exception of gym class.
The first incident was in the guys locker room before a morning gym class. I had become hyper aware of my issue and would take extra measures to avoid any opportunity for me to embarrass myself. I was facing the corner, taking a trick I learned from the movie ‘Bubble Boy’, and was singing on repeat, the Pledge of Allegiance in my head to avoid getting erect, when a peripheral buddy, Jake, walked over holding his phone out, the standard ‘look at this picture’ gesture. Unable to process what picture he was most likely showing off to guys in a locker room, I looked at the screen and saw completely lit up and clear, Becky, a girl in our gym class, who was probably changing just as we were at the same time, completely naked. This was the first naked girl I had seen in real life to date. At this point, a pink backpack was enough to get me erect, so needless to say, before I could even notice or try to control it, there I was, standing surrounded by half naked guys, I was completely hard. With only boxers on, there was nothing I could do to mitigate the obviousness of my erection. In a panic, I hurriedly stepped towards the bathroom stalls right around the corner.
Now, at this point in time, I hadn’t masturbated in about a year or so, and the only time I had even cum was during my sleep. In other words, I was pretty ignorant of what cumming felt like. In my rush to the stalls, with my penis fully erect, each step brushed my head against the tight fabric of my boxers. I’m sure you know where this is going. It only took 2 steps and I found myself standing still, knees locked, thighs quivering and me slightly bent over at the waist, as the dark stain spread out from where the head of my penis was pushed up against my boxers, and started to drip down my leg. Some splattered audibly on the tile floor, seeming to be amplified by the silence and stifled laughter of my fellow classmates.
Despite the humiliation quickly finding its way to the forefront of my attention, I was acutely aware of that being the most amazing feeling I had experienced in my entire memory.
I walked over to the stall, unrolled toilet paper and wiped myself down, trying to dry the stain on my boxers to no avail. I sat there waiting till everyone had left the locker room empty, and then got up and finished changing and headed out to the main gym, desperately hoping nobody had told anyone.
I walk out and instantly see Jake talking to 4 girls, Becky being one of them, and each of the girls were bent over laughing. Becky stood straight catching her breath, and briefly made eye contact with me as I stood at the entrance of the gym blushing. She started laughing hard, and turned her back to me with her hand cupped to the side of her mouth in the telltale gesture people do when trying to conceal what they’re saying. As her backed turned to me and she started to say whatever she was trying to say secretly, each of the girls she was facing and talking to all looked up at the same time to see me. At this point they’re all reacting similar to Becky, laughing heartily, seemingly laughing harder, the harder they tried to not too.
I knew my fate was sealed and there was no amount of damage control I could do to salvage this situation. I waited for Jake and the girls to separate and approached him, trying to vaguely describe my situation and pleaded that he not tell anyone else. He reluctantly agreed but seemed genuine.
This type of incident seemed to occur with increasing frequency as time went on. I was able to excuse myself from gym class to avoid this type of unavoidable situation, but changing one class was unfortunately insufficient in curtailing the problem.
I found myself slacking on school work as I would spend the majority of my time focused on controlling spontaneous erections and subsequently the chance of cumming in my pants and facing further embarrassment.
It was inconsistently consistent. Lets say Math class for example; the girl in front of me would bend over or something and I’d catch a glimpse of her panties sticking out the back of her pants. This could happen on Monday, and I would get hard right away, but then after a couple of minutes, would go away (just to come back at the next stimulation.) Then the next day on Tuesday, I could be in the exact same situation, but this time even before I get fully erect, I find that all too familiar warmth growing in my crotch and the dampness spreading on my pants. I could never tell if it was going to be one of the times where I get erect and then it disappears soon after, or if it was one of the times where I would cum uncontrollably and abruptly.
As soon as I had become aware of the problem, and had luckily escaped several bad accidents without anyone noticing publicly, I spent my entire next paycheck on dark jeans and thick boxer briefs, hoping they would be sufficient in repressing my erections and any possible accidents I had. It worked for the most part.
During all of this, me and Sierra were only doing better. I felt so close to her throughout this, and she seemed incredibly understanding of the problem I was facing. As it would occasionally happen at school, it would be almost guaranteed to happen with Sierra. She could be just sitting there and all it would take is for me to notice her and, boom, I need to change pants. She’d always smirk a little bit, assure me its okay and then act like nothing happened. I would always use her lack of caring to be a sign of this being normal and as evidence to not question it. There wasn’t a night that went by where she didn’t remind me to take my medication, and she was always perfectly timed in refilling them.
This continued more or less the same for a good bit of time all the way through the end of the school year.
Fast forward to about a month into our summer vacation. We had just gotten home from a dinner together, and were walking through the front door. Sierra’s Father was out of town for the month and had left her with a ton of cash to live off of. I walked in and headed straight to the bathroom to clean up, I of course had an accident during dinner when Sierra put her hand on my knee and told me I looked cute. When I returned, she had an opened letter from the mail pile in her left hand and something indistinguishable held in her right. As I start to walk closer, she started to read out loud. “Due to recent performance tests and readings, the FDA has required that we, Paradigm Prescriptions, issue a free supply of the supplement [name under development] to be taken once a night along with the original [name under development] prescription to further secure efficacy and reduce any side effects that prove to be too large.” And with that she tossed what was in her right hand at me; a pill bottle almost identical to the ones I normally got.
She told me to take it with it as apparently it helps. The letter sounded official enough and Sierra wouldn’t ever try to hurt me, so I trusted her and began taking it.
Within about a week, I noticed a dull throb at the base of my penis that started as a very subtle, almost unnoticeable throb, that almost day-by-day grew into a deep throbbing pain that enveloped my entire penis and testicles. I told Sierra and she assured me that just meant it was working, and counteracting any possible negative side effects that might have occurred from previously taking one supplement without the other. Her reasoning made sense, and actually helped mitigate some of the pain as I attributed the pain with progress. Plus, during this time, I had stopped getting randomly erect and having any accidents which was an obvious bonus.
Additionally to the ceasing of my erection issues, I noticed that as the throbbing pain grew, so did my penis.. literally. The more it hurt, the larger it seemed to grown. At first I was worried it was swelling but I began to notice that it wasn’t swollen, it was just naturally bigger, still proportionally the same as before, just larger. I of course, was thrilled.
I told Sierra, and she was almost overly excited. It was noticeable enough that I started to think about it and wonder why, but quickly passed it off to her sexual experience. She said she was gonna look something up and headed off to her Father’s study (I was never allowed inside, which was understandable) and quickly returned holding a sheet of paper with writing on it.
She stood at the end of the hallway reading it to herself and eventually looked up smiling and asked if I was happy with the growth I had noticed. I of course said I was, and she said that it’s not super tested but is an option to take two of these new supplements with the main medication every night and the results should be even more dramatic.
I agreed, and excitedly started taking the 3 pills each night. A couple days after I started, the throbbing pain subsided, which I took as a sign of making the right decision to double up. But with the loss of pain, returned the random and frequent erections as well as the regular premature ejaculations. Around this time, 4 or 5 days since i upped my medication dose, Sierra invited me on a camping trip. I of course agreed.
It was just me and her on this trip. We brought a tent and some supplies and drove a couple of hours to a camp site she liked. We unloaded our stuff, set up the tent, got a fire going and started cooking dinner. Being further up north in the shade of the trees it was pretty chilly, and Sierra was wearing very heavy, baggy and unflattering clothes. I of course didn’t mind, in fact it was nice to not get erect constantly while being with her. Over the next 3 or 4 days we stayed extremely busy, we would hike all day, come back, cook dinner and then we’d usually just pass out exhausted.
The first night we were there I guess I had accidentally left my bag of clothes out and they got rained on. So I had spent the whole trip in the same clothes; a very baggy plaid shirt and light jacket and those very baggy cargo pants. They were so baggy I couldn’t even see the tip of my boots when looking down. I mention this because its semi important to what I found when we got home from camping.
We pulled up to her house and she urged me to go in and shower because I stunk. So I got out and ran in, with her assuring me she can unpack, she just wants me to ‘get in front of a mirror’ as she said it. I found out why once I had gotten naked and began to step into the shower.
I looked down, and for the first time in about a week without having several layers of fabric blocking my view, saw my penis. Except it was different. Prior to camping, with the growth I had, I was about 8 inches erect and pretty girthy. Now, in place of my 8 inch penis, was a penis the fraction of its previous size. Somehow I had shrunk to no more than 2 1/2 inches at largest. I heard myself repeating ‘What the fuck? What the fuck?” with intermittent “Oh my fucking god’s”.
I heard a knock on the door. It was Sierra asking if everything was alright and if she could come in. Before I could say no, that I wasn’t in the shower yet. She turned the knob and walked in. It was like she went in to purposely look at my penis, as the door opened her eyes went straight to my tiny, erect penis.
She said something quickly and turned, slamming the door. I heard her footsteps walking away from the bathroom door. Footsteps, and laughter.
I was mortified, for all I knew, that was the first time she had ever seen my penis, and I had spent the last couple weeks talking about how it had even grown. I sat on the edge of the tub trying to think of what to do and couldn’t even form a basic thought, my brain was completely empty. So I got into the shower and went through my usual routine.
I came out of the shower, put on some spare clothes I had at her place, and walked out to find she had lit a couple candles along the hallway, almost forming a path to her bedroom. I was nervous, excited and confused, but nevertheless I followed the lit candles and pushed the door they led to ajar. There on the bed was Sierra, completely naked except for a pair of black lace panties. If my mind hadn’t gone blank before, it sure did now. This was literally the first time I had seen breasts in 100% real life, not on a phone screen, but in front of me. And they were Sierra’s, and they were everything I had ever imagined. Perfect C cups, perky with her nipples point just slightly up. Following her body down I noticed her flat and smooth stomach, poignant hips in an almost arrow like build pointing to the tiny black panties resting just below her prominent hips.
During my trance of her beauty and sexiness, I was completely unaware of the growing wet stain on my pants. I kept staring at her amazing body, and had even begun to walk towards her. As I got nearer to her and the bed, I became aware of the wet spot in my pants. I could have sworn she noticed, seeing her eyes dart down away from my face briefly after it first happened, followed by a sly smirk. Passing if off and hoping she hadn’t seen my accident, captivated by the possibility of finally having sex, I ignore the thought and continue towards her.
She told me she was finally ready to have sex, and that she wanted me right then.
I was now at the edge of the bed and she had her hands on the top of my pants and was working on unbuttoning them. As soon as the button was undone, my pants were around my ankles, soon followed by my boxers. At the angle I had, Sierra’s hair concealed her face decently, but I had a suspicion that she was laughing or at the very least smiling in an attempt to stifle an audible laugh. Like everything else I ignored this, and hoped for the opposite. Besides, I was too busy staring at my small, but firm butt poised in the air. She was on her hands and knees at this point.
I felt her, for the first time in 1 1/2 years, reach out and place her hand on my erect penis. At least that’s what I thought, in reality it wasn’t her hand, it was her index finger and thumb. Almost the instant she made contact with my tiny penis, I felt the all too familiar feeling of my knees locking, my ass cheeks clenching and my jaw tightening all in effort to hold back from cumming. Just as it never had, it didn’t work, and I saw Sierra’s head jerk back, to avoid getting hit and I definitively saw that she was biting her lip to stop from laughing.
I apologized, and asked if we could try again. She said of course, and she turned around so that her head was facing away from me and her ass was sticking up and against my crotch. She said something about me ‘fucking her’. This is what I was waiting for.
I grabbed my erect 2 inch penis, thrusted my hips right up against her ass and began to try an maneuver my dick inside of her. I could vaguely feel the warmth of her pussy on the tip of my cock, but no matter how hard I tried to pull or push, I couldn’t quite reach the warmth. I grabbed her hips and pulled her back against me, pushing my own hips against her. Despite my best efforts, I was just entirely incapable of actually getting my dick inside of her.
She turned and asked if it was in. It wouldn’t have hurt as bad if she was smiling, but instead she looked entirely genuine. She never expected me to get inside her and if I did she was apparently ready to not even feel it as she wasn’t the slightest bit surprised.
In one last stitch effort I pulled her as hard as I could and pushed my hips against her equally hard, and at the peak of the effort, I felt the tiniest bit of wet warmth against my cock and with that my knees began to lock, but in the position I was in, something didn’t quite line up and instead of locking, my knees buckled and I fell to the ground as I uncontrollably came while falling down. I was now on my ass, the tiniest bit of cum on the bottom of my chin, and the rest spread across my chest.
I looked up and see Sierra, crying. Crying laughing that is. In between her convulsions I heard her make out the words ‘I can’t believe that worked’. Over the next hour, me frozen in humiliation on the floor, she told me of how she couldn’t believe she was actually able to ruin me. She told me about how the ‘medication’ I took for the past year basically hyper-sensitized my penis so it takes little to no stimulation to cum, and that the ‘supplements’ was a special chemical that severely reduced muscle tissue in my penis. She told me that after taking them for so long, the effects are permanent. As she laid out how I’ll never physically even be able to have sex, as well as constantly cumming in my pants, she laughed with a sick, sinister look of pride.
Source: reddit.com/r/sexystories/comments/6yqbcs/str8_ahead_of_schedule_an_innocent_virgin_is
Very well written. Nice job. It’s a good story and pretty realistic feeling.