I am helpless. Utterly and completely without power or control. I am at her mercy, a feather in the air to be directed by the gusts of her desires.
I do not have the tools that she has. I don’t have her brains, her cunning, her cruel manipulations. She is crafty. She is seductive, and graceful, beautiful. She is clever and purposeful. She can identify what she wants and construct a strategy to accomplish her goals.
All I have is my strength.
I am a mindless beast, a reactionary creature driven by millions of years of evolutionary instinct. I am a tiger in a cage. She pokes and prods until she gets what she wants, until I snap.
Because when I snap she is helpless too.
When I break she is at the mercy of my needs, my desires. My desire to have her overwhelms us both. I need to own her, to control her, to dominate her. I need to mark her, claim her so that all that world recognizes that she is mine and mine alone.
She teases and taunts. She presses my buttons and tip toes the lines I have set. She pushes me because she needs it too.
We are helpless together and that is why we work. Half broken and consumed by our addictions to each other. We are unconventional and messy but we make it work.
We don’t have a choice. We are helpless.