I’ve been encouraged by some friends to start writing erotic posts. I want to write about my own experiences and fantasies and some of the fun I’ve had with some amazing people.
What follows is a story based on [M]yself and a [F]riend that I’ve been casually involved with for a short while. Based on real people and some real events/situations, but some creative liberties have been taken for your reading pleasure. It’s written from the female perspective, based on observations I’ve made about our relationship, things she’s said, and traits I hope to display as a man and as a lover. It starts with character dev. and the steamy stuff is toward the end. I don’t go into much detail on the female character development because I want it to be able to be read and enjoyed by anyone. I suppose my hope is that as I post other stories of mine, the reader can insert themself into each story in a continuous, personal storyline without much thought.
<Disclaimer/trigger warning>
There is bdsm content, references to a firearm (not sexual setting), occult topics, and vague allusions to her religious past.
The content of the story is marked with [START] and [END] tags.
So without further preface…
[START]
Have you ever been with a man that made you feel both totally secure and safe, and scared the hell out of you at the same time?
It’s weird. I don’t get the feeling he would ever hurt me, and he hasnt, yet (although he hasn’t really seen how crazy I can be yet either). He seems strong. And not just physically. He is tall and buff. About six foot one. Firm chest. Nice arms. I know he can handle himself or protect me. But it’s the way he talks, the look in his eyes. I don’t think I’ve seen brown eyes that were that… idk, bright? Or that conflictingly intimidating and alluring. I’m a pretty decent looking girl, so guys usually don’t hold my gaze like him. And if they do its usually with an oblivious arrogance, like they don’t understand or value me. His gaze makes me feel like he sees my soul, and that he actually likes what he sees. I swear sometimes I look away simply because I’m afraid he’ll see too much. I probably sound like a stupid teenage girl rambling about his eyes. But it’s not just the way he looks at me that makes me feel safe. It’s the way he looks at other men too.
He’s incredibly calm and laid back in public. He’s polite and respectful. But I see how he pays attention to everything. I see him watching the strange man at the gas station out of the corner of his eye. When we’re walkning in the city I’ll see him make eye contact with a group of young men walking towards us. Not a rude or threating stare, just acknowledgement. One of the young men will nod their head as guys do and he nods back with a polite but tempered expression, still keeping them in his peripheral view as they pass by. I don’t think men know that we notice these things. I don’t think they realize we have to. That every subtle look from a man in public could mean something different from the next. I’m so used to paying attention to the body language of men around me that I can’t help but notice his. And it makes me feel like I don’t have to.
Okay. That’s all a bit sappy. but I swear I still feel like this is a bad idea being with him. Or, I feel like I SHOULD FEEL like it’s a bad idea. He scares me sometimes. I know he’s holding back. I just don’t know what.
He has this tattoo on his chest that he calls a “sigil”. It looks like something straight out of the occult. It looks demonic I told him.
“It’s not. I don’t do demons.” He said.
“Well aren’t you afraid it could attract them, or like, idk, get dark things interested in you if you dabble in that stuff?”
He chuckled a little and said “no. I’m not afraid of demons, I just don’t hate them like everyone else does.”
I was a little confused. He doesn’t seem to understand how that stuff works, but he seems okay so far. And I’m not exactly afraid of it either. I know I’m protected. I may not be the most religious girl these days, but I still know where I stand in my faith. I think.
He seems so cavalier about dark or dangerous things like that. That should worry me? Right? I don’t really know him that well and I should be worried what I’ll learn when I do. Right?
He’s talked about killing people before. That he could do it. He usually carries a gun, so we’ve talked about if he ever had to use it. And I actually don’t mind that. But the way he talks about it. Like he’s the one to decide who should live and who should die. And that he wouldn’t feel any remorse acting on that decision if someone tried to hurt me or someone he loved. I can’t imagine how someone could be so callous about ending another human’s life. He says he’s never hurt anyone before and I believe him. But there was a chilling honesty in his eyes when he said “those kind of people shouldn’t exist.”
I can’t figure him out. It’s strange. He’s not cold and soulless like some men. He’s not like those selfish, antisocial guys that lack any emotional depth. He’s actually incredibly passionate. He’s sensitive and thoughtful. But even sexually he frightens me. Like there’s so much under the surface and I feel like I’m foolish to keep wanting to go deeper. It’s like he gets kinkier everytime we make love and it feels like there’s no limit to it.
I can be pretty dirty my self. Of course I never show the full extent of it to ANY guy I’m ever with. But I feel like I don’t have to with him. I’m pretty sure he’s way more fucked up than I am. Its comforting in a way, but concerning. I’ve thought about how dark it could get and if that wasn’t bad enough, at this point I think I’d let him do whatever he wanted to me. I’d really do whatever he said. It’s not even the act of getting fucked by him. I just love being used by him. I need to be used by him. I need to be owned by him. Possessed by him.
One time after we had been seeing each other for a little while he had me tied up on his dining room table by my arms and legs. Blind folded. I remember the feeling of the cool wood against my bare back suddenly vanish from my focus as I felt a drip of hot wax hit my stomach. Then another. I loved it, I had secretly always wanted to try this. And I loved that I didn’t have to ask. But what terrified me is that he was slowly dropping each drip closer to my bare, helpless, lady parts. Dropping each one lower and lower. Closer to my already sensitive pussy. We had done quite a bit of foreplay and by this point my clit was tingling with sensations on its own. I could feel the throbs of each intensifying heartbeat pounding in my clit. I couldn’t imagine someone being crazy enough to… well, I just don’t know with him.
“Uhhh” was all could mutter out of my mouth. I didn’t wanna ruin the moment but I couldn’t help but say something. “Quiet. Do you trust me?” He said with a firm, but surprisingly gentle voice. “Uhhh” was all I could mutter again. Half unsure if I did trust him, and half desperately horny and wanting to see how far he would go.
He continued slowly dripping hot droplets of wax lower and lower. Slowly the stinging pleasure started dropping below my panty line. My arms and legs pulled and squirmed at the restraints. My breathing was getting intense and I let out a little moan with each tantilizing drip that got ever closer to my clit. If my fear was growing in my mind, my arousal was definitely outpacing it. My clit THROBBED with need. It was so sensitive I could feel the cool air as it pulsed with every heartbeat. I could feel it begging to be touched. Begging for some kind of physical sensation. any kind of sensation.
Drop.
It’s more like a tingling feeling on my skin. My clit though, it’s way more sensitive. Should I stop him? Does he know how much this is going to hurt? My mind is delirious and confused. Lust courses through my veins and I can’t get any words out.
Drop.
That one felt so close to my clit. This monster is really going to do it. But my lust is in full control. I NEED my clit to be touched. I’m trembling and moaning and almost hyperventilating from the mix of arousal and fear.
I shriek as I feel it finally drip onto my clit. I groan almost instinctually. Every thought is erased from my mind as I brace myself to get through it like a tough girl. I’m shuddering as I try to understand the intense feeling. As I feel it run down from my clit and over my lips I’m still moaning, more out of fear now than lust.
Drop.
Another drop lands on my clit. I groan again. Letting out a less than sexy “UGHHH” and moan as it runs down my lips again.
“Stop, stop, stop” is all I can think as my mind frantically tries to assess just how fucked I am. But nothing comes out. I’m so overwhelmed and still so fucking horny.
As the last drop continues running down my already soaking wet lips I start to realize it doesn’t actually hurt. My clit doesn’t hurt. It tingles. There’s a light burning sensation. It’s still throbbing SO hard. But it doesn’t really hurt? Is it because I’m so wet?
By now I’m panting, borderline hyperventilating, and trembling. I feel his hand push the blindfold off my eyes and I see him looking down lustfully between my legs. I see saliva bead up on his tongue and drip off. As it lands on my clit I can’t help but flinch and groan reflexively. I lean my head back and let out a long sigh of relief.
“Fuck. I… I…”
“Shhhh.” He ran his hands comfortingly from my hips up my chest and back down my body. I was still trembling as his touch started to restore my senses to the rest of my body.
“You should know by now that your mind can do crazy things. And you should know I love playing with your mind.”
“Yeah. I… I guess.”
“You trusted me right? Do you trust me now?”
“Yeah. I… guess.”
He picked up the candle again. This time I can clearly watch what he’s doing. He holds it directly over my clit and starts to tip it slightly. Then he looks me in the eyes and pauses. I can see the flame reflecting against his frighteningly cold gaze.
“Do you trust me?” He asked with stern tone.
I let out a low breath. “Yes. You can do whatever you want with me.”
“Good.”
Instead of just a drop he pours the remainder of the hot wax out entirely… on to the table just below my still throbing pussy. I close my eyes and let out another sigh of relief. A tear runs down my cheek. I’m a mess. I’m so horny I need him to fuck me, I was so scared of what I was going to feel, and some fucked up part of me is enjoying every second. Like an intoxicating drug of wicked desires was coursing through my veins.
He walks away and places the candle on an end table and comes back and starts untying me. I still haven’t cum and it’s all too intense for me to keep going. I break the mood.
“So what, are you trying to be like Christian Grey from fifty shades?? You think that’s the ticket to getting women to desire you, so you emulate that?”
“No. I hate him.”
He continued, “I don’t derive pleasure from watching others suffer. I hate that. I derive pleasure from obedience, and I reward obedience with pleasure.”
“And what was all THIS?” I quip.
“Did I hurt you? Did you enjoy it?”
Ugh. Why does he have an answer for EVERYTHING. I can’t let him win this easily.
“Well, what if I tell you to cause me pain?” I retort with a smirk.
His hand ran up to my neck. And slowly pushed back pinning it to the table… “then your obedience will be tested.”
*smack*
He slapped the side of my ass. Hard. He chuckled playfully as he took his hand off my neck and said, “Of course I’m not opposed to a LITTLE bit of pain, if we’re having fun with it. Now go clean up. You’re a mess.” His hand caressed the still tingling side of my ass as I tried to gather myself up off the table.
Okay, I may have gotten carried away and rambled, but that wasn’t the only extremely intense encounter we’ve had. I’m still so perplexed. Intrigued. Still feel like I’m getting into something I shouldn’t. Maybe it’s just lingering guilt for finally allowing myself to explore my craziest fantasies? Maybe it’s that I still don’t know just how dark some of his fantasies are? They say the best psychos are good at convincing you they’re safe people. All the ones on the shows I’ve seen are charming. But I swear he’s different.
I feel safe. Like I haven’t in a while. Like I haven’t ever felt, actually.
—–[END]—–
More to come. Hope you enjoyed reading, the character development, and the dynamic between us. Let me know what you think. Future posts may be on some other subs depending on the content but the idea is to give you an open look into my mind, fantasies, and some of my real life sexual encounters. My DMs are open and your comments are appreciated.
Source: reddit.com/r/sexystories/comments/sig8ko/he_makes_me_feel_so_safe_and_yet_so_scared_mf