In this sad world, the fabric of reality is based on the ontological penile spiral. Every penis has a sort of inner clock, and thus the penis moves along an invisible spiral, which is connected to the true time of the world, but because the penis has only a vague understanding of what the true time of the world is, it forms its own local time, this local time varies from penis to penis. The true time is not understood as the continued progress of existence, but as a sort of grammar for sex actions, which dictates how a penis can move in the past, present and future. For instance, one man could say “I can’t maintain an erection when wearing a condom.” then the penis while moving in this perpetual circular motion develops the grammar “flaccid penis while pointing towards a condom, and slightly less flaccid as it moves away from the condom”, and thus the penis develops its own local grammar which is different from that of the universal ontological penile spiral, which has a more universal and fundamental grammar. So when two mages fight with each other, the penises go into a dialectical argument. One penis may say “Penis bone exists”, the other penis may respond “But with articulations”, this other penis forms the idea of a penis with bone and articulations thus this penis adopts this idea and it turns into reality, a local reality, but then the former penis may say “No articulations”, when a disagreement occurs, the stronger penis overrides the local reality of the other penis, and in this particular case the greater penis causes damage as the articulations in the penile bone allowed for a more flexible movement along the ontological penile spiral.
“I have beaten all of you as you know. As the leading authority in chad grammar, I ask you to extend the influence of our confederacy of dunces!” declared Sasuke in front of a large crowd of generals and soldiers.
“South Carolina is about to secede.” informed Shikamaru. “Our influence is rapidly declining due to Naruto’s chinchin grammeme.”
“Naruto again!? That asshole is always there to thwart my plans for world domination!”
“What is this chinchin grammeme you speak of?” asked Sakura.
“It’s a new unit of grammar, it’s a gender-swap grammar. Basically, it allows a man to gender-swap in an alternate universe, and fuck himself in the pussy.”
“That’s quite a vulgar simp grammar.” remarked Sasuke.
To everyone’s surprise, Naruto barged into the room completely alone.
“That’s quite hurtful.” said Naruto.
“What the hell are you thinking, you pervert?” asked Sasuke. “You think you can just walk in here and walk off in one piece?”
“Even if you kill me, my grammar will live on and the grammar will supersede yours. As we speak, many of your own soldiers are enjoying the fresh scent of their own pussies.”
“He’s correct, three of our regiments already defected to his side.” informed Shikamaru.
“As our greatest grammarian, you have to face him, my lord.” begged Sakura. “Don’t let him turn our men into neckbeards.”
“Ok, I guess I am the only one who’s not completely useless.”
The two sat on their respective chairs at the center of the room and revealed their large penises as they were about to face each other in a battle of wits. Unexpectedly, Naruto’s penis started off the battle suddenly, which almost caught Sasuke off guard.
“I am the best pussy.” spurt Naruto’s large penis.
“No, COVID-19.” retorted Sasuke’s large penis.
“Me gender-swap, you fuck me.”
“Omicron, fourth wave possible.”
The men on Sasuke’s side applauded as he was able to repel Naruto’s constant sexual advances by shaming him as if he were an anti-vaxxer who was also a Fox News viewer.
“This is really cringe and stupid.” commented Sakura. “Seriously, could we get over this as quickly as possible?”
“Shh, uneducated woman. Only a man can understand a penis.” retorted Shikamaru.
“Best pussy for fuck!” spurt Naruto’s large penis.
“Blond pubes remind me of Meghan.” retorted Sasuke’s large penis.
“My pussy wet, really wet.”
“This is really stupid.” commented Sakura. “I am—”
Sasuke grabbed Sakura by the waist and started fucking her in front of Naruto.
“What are you doing, lord Sasuke? Not in front of everyone! Kyaa!” yelled Sakura.
“This is really a genius move!” commented Shikamaru. “A simp can only bow to such a chad move.”
As Sakura pussy squirted all over Naruto’s face, Naruto’s penis could no longer hold it in and squirted all over himself. Naruto’s penis completely vanquished, his grammar became deprecated, and had his penis and head promptly cut off. The end.