16/3/17
In the great tradition of Starla not realizing anything is wrong with Starla, I was informed by Kiera last night that I’d been sullen and withdrawn for the past few days. Ever since I had been with Mark, conveniently.
He was… In the moment, he was everything. He was what I needed. I suspect I will need him again, in the future as well, but for the most part, I felt regret. His birthday this year had already passed, which means that at some point in 2016, he was legally still a child.
I couldn’t deal. Still can’t. Kiera came into my room last night, after putting Kieran down to rest. “Everything okay, Babygirl,” she asked me, sitting down on the edge of my bed. I didn’t know where to begin, so I just hugged her. She knows that I absolutely adore the sensation of her burying me; it’s like its own form of bondage, to me. A baby learns the word Mama to speak to the giant creature caring for it. A giant which is stronger, bigger, and has an answer for every worry and ailment the baby may have. I wanted to make myself smaller for her; moreso than I could by simply curling up.
Her kisses were everything there ever was that was good in the world. They were slow, wet, and heavy, and I drank so much of her, we were both wiping our mouths pretty often. I think that’s when I started stress crying. “I’m here,” she said to me, as she burrowed in deeper. “I’m right here. It’s all going to be okay, Babygirl…” Kieran coughed himself awake, two rooms over, and began to cry.
“I’m sorry,” I said. “You should be with—”
“I want you to sleep in my bed tonight,” she said, as she stood. The immediacy of the moment gave me no time to argue with her, so I followed her to her bedroom. She laid the infant out across her arms, rocking him back to sleep, while I dried my eyes in her vanity. I wanted that; I wanted to be that little boy, in her arms. I was, and I am so tired. I was tired of the world breaking me every week. I was tired of standing and falling on my face, over, and over again. I wanted to be small, and helpless, no responsibilities, no expectations. I wanted Kiera to grant me that level freedom, the kind that can only be found wrapped up in blankets and arms until you are completely immobile.
“I’ll be right back,” I said, leaving the room. She nodded, all of her attention still on her child. I returned with my own blanket. It was a thick, vibrant thing that my sister-in-law bought for me almost 10 years ago, when I went to live on my own for the first time. It was still relatively fresh, because, forgetful, slobby me forgets to change out sheets and blankets every few weeks like you’re supposed to. This one spent most of those years folded away. I brought it to her, and I think she immediately understood. “Can you wrap me up in this, Mama?”
“You’re so strange, Starla,” she said, standing up to put Kieran back in his crib, fast asleep. “Come here.” I handed her one end of the blanket, and we spread it out over her bed. Then, I crawled right into the middle, on my belly, folding my arms behind my back. If you’re in any way claustrophobic, you may want to avert your gaze. She began to fold and wrap the heavy blanket around my body. First, I thought that it wasn’t going to work at all. That I just had a very dumb idea, and she was humoring me. Then, she tightened the first layer. I restricted my movements, so she could work. My heart was racing now, because I was genuinely, truly trapped now. There was no secret escape latch built in; I was at her mercy. The blanket was much thicker than I thought it was going to be, and after she pulled the second layer taut, I knew there was no getting myself out of this. My arms were pinned helplessly, and everything in me wanted to thrash, but I resisted. I stayed calm, as I felt the panic chew me alive, from the inside. Then, she rolled me onto my back, and straddled my waist.
A serene calmness passed through me. I couldn’t escape, so I stopped wanting to. I was her possession now, and she was the only thing I could have, so that’s what I wanted. She began to grind her pussy against my waist and belly, and I moaned sympathetically. I could absolutely feel it in me as well, and the look on her face told me all I needed to know. I had turned myself into her living body pillow, warm and solid in all the right places. “Please use me, Mama,” I said. “I want to please you.” She didn’t need me to tell her that; I said it for my own benefit.
I was helpless to resist her as she set her fat, juicy labia right down on my face. Her plump flesh let me sink into her a few inches, before I even let my tongue out of my mouth, and I eagerly began to bathe her outer and inner lips with my tongue. She prodded my lips with her clit, and I took her in. Then, Kiera gave me a wicked grin. She reached over beneath her pillowcase, finding her little bullet vibrator. I knew she had it, and I knew we would get around to using it eventually, but I was more than a little bit frightened at the thought of what she was planning to do with it.
“I just had the best idea,” she said, dangling it over my head, as I licked her. She turned herself around, and bent over, reaching into the folds of my prison, seeking my womanhood with a frenzied passion. She sealed the humming demon inside, right next to my clit, and kept her finger down on top of it, through the blanket, to make sure it stayed exactly where she left it. I squealed into her pussy, my moan coming out harder and quicker than I liked. I thought I would be able to continue eating her, but I was just overloaded at this point. My head went back, and I let myself be overwhelmed by her. I came harder than I wanted, and felt the threads of the blanket deny me my freedom, with a violent rigidity. She turned up the intensity of the bullet, and I was whimpering now. “How’s that, Babygirl?”
I was speechless. She understood, laughing at me. I came again. And again. I came until I was begging her to stop, though I still hadn’t invoked the safe word. I came until I was unsure if my legs were even still attached to my body. Finally, she unwrapped me, and let me catch my breath. And then I woke up. It was now 3 in the morning, and Kiera was fast asleep beside me, her arms around me. “I never said thank you,” I said, to the quiet room. “I know you’re probably asleep right now, but… I was having a bad time of things, lately, and… You’ve just been my rock. And for no reason, other than you are a good person.” I scratched my head, wondering if it sounded right. “You didn’t owe me anything, but now I owe you everything… Thank you, Mama.”
“You’re welcome,” she said, without opening her eyes. “Go back to sleep.”
“Alright, Mama.”
****
18/3/17
One of these days, the sun is going to shine, and for once the sun will mean it. Winter has to come to a close, one of these days. One of these days, it will be too warm to sleep together every night. One of these days, I’ll feel her breath on my sweat soaked brow, in my sleep, and it will chill me awake.
One of these days, I’ll need to remember how to live, without being so spoiled, by her. One of these days, I’ll be able to spoil her. One of these days, I’ll have the grit and the nerve to tell her that I’m addicted to her love.
This morning, I will surprise her; I’ll slither into her bed, beneath her sheets. I’ll bring my face right where it belongs, in between her thighs, and inhale her thick, heavenly aroma, and feel the vast, sexually voracious heat radiating from below her panties. This morning, I will divide her legs around my shoulders, and dive inside, giving the womanhood which reigned over our home the pleasure and the worship it deserves; until it shines with my saliva in the morning light, with the polish of a newly formed brass statue. This morning, I’ll hold on for dear life, as she shares her life with me.
This morning, I want to lose myself inside of Kiera.
Source: reddit.com/r/sexystories/comments/605oku/starlas_sex_journal_16317_ffbdsmfdomfsub