[NSFW] looking for constructive feedback for my first draft of my first ever short story

Story 1

I was coming out of my office as she rushed past me in the hall. I could smell the flowery scent coming off of her and inhaled deeply. Her scent was a mixture of her body lotion and shampoo that conjured the feeling of laying in the soft grass of a meadow enjoying the warmth of the sun. She was already in the doorway to the library by the time my senses returned to reality and I faced her. She was barefoot, her flats in her hand, wearing a smart semi-transparent faint peach blouse, and a well fitting grey sweater. Her cuffs were rolled to her elbows, which were angled up in an attempt to hold onto the several shopping bags, purse and shoulder-bag she was clumsily trying to set down without falling over in her own adorable way. Her long honey blond hair hung straight down her upper back, bushed away from her face and tucked behind her left ear. Only a few loose strands danced in front of her face in her breath. She was looking back at me over her left shoulder with a smile in her eyes but half a pout on her lips. Her left leg was bent and up on her toes, with the other flat. This cocked her hips out to the side and accentuated her slimming waist and growing ass. She was late, she needed help, and she knew just how to get it from me. She gently bit her lip and fluttered her long lashes before she asked;

“Babe, I’m in trouble. I forgot to pick up the gift and then I saw this super cute dress, that well…I don’t NEED, but it was on sale and I HAD to have it. The reservation is in an hour and I still need to get cleaned up, pull together something cute and it’s a 20 minute drive.”

She continued on about her self imposed predicament, but I knew the gist already and was on my way to the kitchen. I poured a generous glass of my own Pino with three sliced frozen green grapes to keep it cold. I knew from experience it would settle her down some and help her to relax so she wasn’t rushing herself. I could still hear her going on about the dinner when I returned walking down the hall. On my life I could never say what she said because at that moment she was bending over, perfectly jackknifed at her hips; rummaging around in the bags at her feet. Years of dance has certainly paid off as she was en point, legs straight and together, her calves sculpted and ass sitting high, above her hips forming a perfect heart. What really got my attention though was what looked earlier like a respectable length pleated pink checkered skirt had now ridden up her backside when she bent, leaving her completely exposed from the waist down. My eyes lustfully followed the curves of her ass cheeks, down to her peach of a pussy wonderfully framed by a respectable gap between her thighs. Licking my lips as I approached, I realized by the beads of moisture on her lips that she was both excited and very stressed as they remained tightly closed.

I approached silently admiring the sensual woman before me until I was standing half a pace behind her. I took a sip of her wine as I patiently waited for her to finish getting whatever it was she needed from her bags. Despite the view and my cock slowly filling with blood I resumed listening to her ramblings.

“…I don’t understand why he gets so upset when I’m only a few minutes late! It’s not like its the end of the world or anything and I always get there eventually, don’t I? I know tonight is supposed to be for our anniversary, but that was actually weeks ago, but we were traveling again and he couldn’t get reservations until tonight. I don’t even like this place that much, its nice, but it’s more his style and he knows this…”

At this point I zoned out again having heard it all many times before. Her questions were rhetorical. She knew how little I thought of her fiance. If you could even call him that, he had yet to get her a ring. After another long breathy sigh she finally stood and let out a frustrated groan. I brought my arms forward, handing off the wine and unspokenly letting her know I was there for her. Much went unspoken between us, but after knowing her for her entire life we didn’t need words to communicate.

She drained a large portion of the wine, relaxing her shoulders, slightly, and leaned back into my chest. I wrapped her tightly in my arms and as she stretched back into me my hands made contact with the warm skin of her tight stomach. Mirroring one another she leaned her head back on my shoulder exposing the right side of her neck to me as I leaned my head forward touching my forehead to her shoulder for a brief moment. We shared a few breaths and heartbeats like that, before I gently pressed my lips to her neck, eliciting a different kind of sigh, then reassuringly kissing her cheek. Speaking softly into her ear I said:

“Just breathe, tonight will be wonderful, love. You don’t have to rush, I’m here to help. First things first, take your wine into a hot shower and freshen up. Then while you’re doing your hair and makeup I’ll get your outfit together, you already mentioned which dress you wanted to wear. By the time you’re done I’ll have a car waiting to take you and as long as we don’t get too distracted you’ll even be early.”

She sank deeper and deeper into my embrace as I spoke, emphasizing my point about distractions by grinding her soft ass into my now hard member. Lingering for a second after I finished calming her she stood straight with a huff and I reluctantly let her go. She turned and stretched up on her tippy toes to close the ~25cm gap between our lips. She turned back and bent to grab her bags, still holding onto her wine and I sent her off with a playful slap of her ass. Which earned me both a flirtatious smile and an adorable gasp. Her current state of excitement was evident. It’s a beautiful thing when the body responds to stress by becoming aroused.

As I quickly returned to the kitchen to retrieve the bottle of Pino, she made her way upstairs. When I reached her room I paused to admire her; hair up tight to keep it dry, lathering her breasts and legs with soap, the glass of wine already dangerously close to empty. Under the cover of the soft popular music she had playing I refilled her glass without disturbing her and left the bathroom for her closet.

I selected the deep blue dress she wanted. Despite being on the slightly conservative side, on her, I knew it to be very flattering. A fact that greatly displeased her “fiance’s” mother, who had purchased it for her. There was a chill in the night air so I also selected a large warm shaw that matched the color of the dress. It would be soft against her delicate skin, while keeping her warm against the wind and add another layer of modesty to placate Stan. Thankfully there was support worked into the dress so I needn’t select a bra. However, I knew with her meeting Stan, if I didn’t pick out panties she would have to do it herself.

Resisting my preference to see her in a thong, I selected a selected a pair of black lace cheekies with white silk bows as accents. It was cute and sexy, while also covering enough that she wouldn’t get into much trouble with Stan. Instinctually I reached for a pair of open toed, 15cm navy blue stilettos, but quickly redirected to a similarly styled 5cm wedge with a bow and golden buckle.

By this time had finished her shower, second glass of wine, and was sitting naked in front of her vanity applying light makeup to accentuate her high cheekbones, sparkling blue eyes and full pouty red lips. Having almost completed my task I decided to assist with her hair. Again, I topped off her wine, finishing the bottle before selecting a brush, letting her hair down and taking up a standing position behind her. The vantage point gave me a delectable view of her chest and between her legs. As I began to gently brush her hair out I appreciated the gently rising and falling of her heavy chest. Her soft breasts, paler in comparison to her nearly olive tanned skin, capped with hardening pink nipples she had only recently had pierced, much to Stan’s disapproval. Explaining why only the right one had a shiny silver hoop through it.

Gazing further down over her toned stomach I was distracted momentarily from brushing her hair by the sight of her crossing and uncrossing her legs with a purpose. It was an attempt to stimulate her clit which I could just catch peeking out from her lips which were covered in a light sheen of moisture and slowly beginning to open. Returning my focus to her hair, while listening to her soft repressed moans and watching a sensual flush begin to rise in her chest and face, I gently worked some product into her hair. Gently scratching and massaging her scalp before working it into her long flowing strands to give them a slight wave and natural looking bounce and shine. As she put the finishing touches on her eyes and lips I briefly worked the last bit of tension out of her shoulders, that the wine had missed.

… … …

While working the last remnants of her long days tension out of her shoulders I glanced at the clock, seeing we had almost half an hour left before she had to leave. We both must have been distracted by one another’s touch because after a moment I realized we were both finished and had been stilly and silently looking into each others eyes for what could have been a small eternity. As if on cue, both our lips curled into a smirk and with that glance we both knew she was going to be late. Slowly she stood as I backed away. In a manner only learned over years of being with each other we moved as one until we had backed away from the chair and were wrapped in one another’s arms. My fingertips traced down her spine following the curve of her soft skin until I gently but firmly cupped her luscious ass. Pulling her closer and lifting her up in the same motion. For her part, her deft fingers were quickly shedding my pressed shirt and she crossed her ankles behind my back, her legs resting on my hips.

In moments she had moved onto extracting my hard cock from the confines of my slacks and our lips were locked in a fevered embrace. Gently biting, licking, sucking and devouring each other with a ravenous hunger. Thank Satan for smear resistant makeup. By the time she had fished my cock from my fly her cunt was dripping wet and she was more than ready for me. In one deft practiced movement she guided me home as I slammed her back up against the wall. Driving all of myself inside her in one swift motion. She bit down hard on my shoulder to stifle her scream of rapture, drawing a not insignificant amount of blood from me. As my warm blood began to trickle down my chest and back she licked her lips and the spot where her teeth had pierced my skin like a starved dog.

The pain and pleasure mixed together awakening my own primal nature as I took her without hesitation or restraint. I grabbed her wrists and pinned them above her head against the wall and kept her up with my rapid thrusts effectively pinning her to the wall by not giving gravity any time to pull her down, even though I was taking painfully long strokes, nearly pulling out with every backstroke. Soon enough my head was pushing into her cervix, as hers rolled back in ecstasy. Eyes rolled back and her lips forming a perfect “o” as she screamed through her orgasm. Not wanting her pleasure to end I wrapped my right hand around her throat, pinning her head back and restricting her air and blood flow. While my left reached for her pierced nipple and began to twist and pull at it until it was an angry red and her continuing scream became strangled as I deprived her of life giving oxygen. It was rapidly replaced by life surging pleasure ripping through her body like a freight train. Her body which at this point was hanging off of me like a rag doll as she convulsed in wave after wave of rising orgasms.

… … …

Knowing that his moment regrettably couldn’t last forever I shortened my strokes and quickened my pace, racing like a freight train towards my own release. Leaning back off the wall I carried her slack body to the bed and without pulling out, threw her down and laid myself on top of her. Immediately working our way to the center of the bed, she regained a little consciousness as she wrapped her arms and legs tightly around me, her naturally long nails rending trails of blood down my back as she scratched me and using the leverage of her heels above my ass to pull me deeper inside her reaching out for more of the exquisite pleasure we were bringing to one another. I slid my hands behind her back, holding onto her shoulders and pulling her harder and harder against me as I thrust into her faster and faster. It was a race at this point to see who would cum first, but at this point that didn’t matter to us, as we were in our own world and all that existed was the touch, warmth and scent of the other.

My lips were pressed against her neck and shoulder searching for every one of her weak spots. It was impossibly difficult not to leave any marks but I managed not to by thinking of the trouble it would cause her with Stan tonight. Our bodies moved as one and we both were gasping for air. Our passion hung physically in the air. Our bodies dripping with sweat, the air around us heated by our passion. But all good things must come to and end, and cum I did. She clasped me tight as soon as she felt my cock expanding inside her, clenching the walls of her cunt and pulling me as deep inside her as possible. Panting I rested my forehead against hers and gently kissed her as we slowly came down from the high of our lovemaking. We lingered in that moment for a lifetime.

Reluctantly we separated, I rolled off of her but still held her hand. We rested like that for a moment more, wishing to extend our contact as much as possible. Sadly the responsible parts of our brains soon rebooted and we rushed to get her ready for her anniversary dinner. I quickly cleaned her body of our sweat with a damp town, taking great care not to ruin her makeup or hair any further. As soon as I was done she took a lightning fast perfume shower and started getting dressed. We both knew she’d fix her makeup in the car. As she was putting the lace cheekies on, I wondered if she recognized them as one of the vibrating pairs, I could manipulate from my phone.

I decided a workout was in order after she left so I pulled on a pair of sweats and a tank as I left the room. I picked up my phone from where I’d left it in my office, as I called her a car I noticed I had missed a few messages I’d have to check later. She came into the kitchen looking absolutely dazzling and as always never failed to take my breath away. I had just finished pouring her another glass of wine and handed it to her as she kissed me goodbye with a sad longing look in her eyes that quickly faded and was replaced by the resigned smile she wore for Stan. My phone alerted me that her car had arrived and I walked her out and down to the car, holding her door and giving her one last kiss before saying “try and have some fun tonight my love, I’ll see you very soon”.

Source: reddit.com/r/Erotica/comments/lybkz6/nsfw_looking_for_constructive_feedback_for_my

1 comment

Comments are closed.