Two Sides of the Same Coin – Lulu – Inside the Submissive Mind [STR8] [BDSM]

# When Lulu thought back to when it all began, her desires, she found herself caught between different memories. Something told her that it was the first time she had watched porn that had made her body feel as if it was on fire.

It had been late at night on her cell phone under the duvet plugged into flimsy earphones and on websites she deleted from her browser history, eyes wide at the leather and the belts and the raw skin flashing in front of her. She hadn’t necessarily understood everything that she had seen, but she had felt butterflies in her stomach and even lower down than that. She had known too that though she was a little frightened of the images playing on the screen in front of her, she wanted to keep watching. She wanted to imagine her body in those shapes and colors.

But it hadn’t all started then, not really. It had been there for a while, festering, making itself known in the way the heat underneath her skin rippled when her older professor looked at her a certain way, when he leant over her as she worked, when she could catch him peeking at the taut white of her shirt against her chest. Of sitting down in her seat and looking up at him in front of her, of wanting to please him, knowing that the more that she did, the better he would grade her. She was rewarded for having impressed him, and though it wasn’t necessarily in a sexual sense all of the time, that didn’t mean it couldn’t be one day.

She had started watching porn about the dynamic, teachers and their students. And then she moved onto other power dynamics, cops and robbers, older men and younger women. But most of the videos were too scripted and cringeworthy and she couldn’t get out of her head enough to enjoy them. She wanted to please, to submit, to do exactly as she was told. But how can you tell someone that you want that? You can’t exactly put it in a tinder bio or tell someone on a first date. And besides, even if you did, what words would you use to describe it? How could you explain exactly what set your body alight without feeling small or embarrassed, or being looked down upon by those you opened up to?

She googled it at first, devouring as much porn as she could, looking at the positions the girls would be in, the way they followed the rules of their masters, and even how some of them would break their demands, languishing in the punishment as if it was a reward. The slaps, the leather belts, the begging – the more she saw, the more she wanted it for herself.

Eventually, she moved away from the porn sites, wanting to experience things for herself. She found social media websites created purely so that people with her fantasies could find people who could make them a reality. She made a profile, too shy at first to post any pictures or really add anything to her bio other than her age, 20, and the fact that she was submissive. But that was enough. Soon she was being flooded with messages, older men of all ages did their best to charm her by telling her how they would treat her, what they would do to her. It was frightening at first, overwhelming to the point where she didn’t know whether she could trust any of them. But then she realized, just because she was speaking to them didn’t mean she had to actually see them yet, she told herself.

So one evening she dressed up in some lacy black lingerie, the sexiest that she had, put on a black mask she had worn to a fancy dress party once to conceal her identity, slicked some scarlet lipstick on and set up the self-timer on her phone camera, taking pictures of her on her bed so she could show them all what she could give to them. The soft curves, the plump lips. She wanted to impress them, to make them want her more than anything.

Upon uploading her photos and filling out her profile, “Naughty little sub looking for a dominant daddy to teach her a thing or two”, she became even more popular and started speaking to one man in particular. He wouldn’t show her his face and wouldn’t give over any details other than his age, 45, but there was something about him that she couldn’t draw herself away from. Something in her wanted to please him more than anything, wanted to challenge herself and her boundaries, to learn from him but also for him, to make him see that he could trust her as much as she trusted him.

It started with the messages – he would tell her that he was thinking of her, of how her pictures made him feel, or what they made him do to himself. And then she would tell him that she was wet, that his words made her lose control, and he would demand that she prove it. So, she set her camera up and made sure to show him exactly what he wanted, exactly what he did to her. The more she showed him, the more he desired her, and the more she wanted to please him.

***Now, another finger. He’d demand. Now three.***

And then, after much begging and promising that she was going to be a good girl for him, he finally sent her a picture. He was big and hard and the moment she saw the image on the screen, something deep within her shifted. To see the reaction that her body and her submissiveness had on him set alight her desires even more. She didn’t want to enjoy this connection just over the phone anymore, she wanted to experience it wholeheartedly, To give herself completely over to him to use however he pleased, to learn everything she could about making him happy, about submitting to his every demand. She wanted to feel his touch, whether kind or cruel. She wanted more.

*When can we do this in real life? she asked.*

*I was hoping you’d ask that eventually. He replied. Good girl.*

xx Lulu

Source: reddit.com/r/sexystories/comments/kqi4ws/two_sides_of_the_same_coin_lulu_inside_the