We are both taking a bath together and we are washing each other and you are blushing the whole time and calling me big brother and I get an erection from you rubbing up against me and then while I’m washing you I say I can’t hold back anymore and I grab your breasts from behind and play with them and then you say “b-big brother w-we can’t do this” but then I start making out with you and you blush harder and then you start rubbing my dick and I quietly moan and start fingering you while making out with you and then you bend down and put your hands on the wall and tell me to be gentle and I start fucking you from behind and you moan and say “b-big brother your cock feels so good inside of me” and I say “y-your insides are gripping me tight and I-it’s so warm” and then I flip you on your back and lift you up and push you against the wall and start fucking you like that and as I put it back in you moan loudly and say “i-it’s going in so deep” and I start blushing and fucking you faster and then I say that I’m about to cum and you say “p-please cum inside me big brother I want it inside” and then i yell your name and cum inside and then set you down on the ground and I lie down backwards and start panting but then you get up and start jerking me off and say how much you liked feeling big brother’s cock inside of you and then you start sucking my dick and looking at me with eyes of lust and I blush hard and then grab the back of your head and force my dick all the way inside your mouth and you blush hard and start drooling as I force your head up and down all the way onto my dick and then I cum down your throat and then we both rest for a little bit and then we go to sleep in the same bed
I don’t know if this is where I should be posting this but it’s one of my first writings and I really wanted to share it with people for some reason and I know the perspective is weird but just think of it as in you are telling someone this or you are reading out the actions that someone is doing
You shouldbtry to use different beginings for your sentences. You almost exclusively used “and then…and…then I did this….and then this”
Try to change it up a little.
The same goes for your speaking parts. They were very similar in structure “a-always starting with this stutter” which is fine to use bit again making the writing style less monoton(i hope thats the right word).
Try reading stories from others and contentrate on how they structure their sentences, which words they use and somewhat copy what they did.
Hope my feedback was helpful :)