When I uploaded the text on my website Mäck’s Blog, I wrote in the beginning: *The ephedrine-like Tyson feverishly awaits a meeting with his sex master and goes into raptures. He fantasizes about old men, sex practices with his mother and steamy piles of excrement. A declaration of love to chemistry.* Of course, partly it’s about myself. Written at the end of 2016 when I was on speed for days. For this English translation, I added another text to it, The Ephedrine Weeny-Willy Dwarf, which I wrote a few days later.
*Originally uploaded in German on Mäck’s Blog on 30 December 2016.*
On New Year’s Eve Wilhelm will come by. Wilhelm is 76 and my sex master. Some old fat dominating guy who knows what he wants. Baldy. His penis isn’t long, but it’s nice and thick and fits in his mouth. And he’s perfect with the whip. He spreads his whistles like a young god. We’ve known each other for three years. Normally we always meet three times a year at my place, only this year it didn’t work out. We haven’t seen each other for 15 months or so. Just writing now and then. So the anticipation is accordingly big. I’ll be high on ephedrine. High and spiked and irradiated. That’s the way it has to be. For one whole night.
We like role-playing games. Father and son. Finally, I’ll be 14 again. We’ve come up with some great new stuff for this time. For the first time, we’ll use candle wax and cigarette burns. The main focus will be on my private parts. Blood will have to flow. We will prick paper clips and fine needles into my scrotum and foreskin. Oh, those little burning pains, how I love them! And there, where normally the pubic hair is (I still have to shave!!), we will squeeze out cigarettes and cut funny patterns with a small cutter-knife. Afterwards Wilhelm will let candle wax flow over it, which will quickly harden on cock and eggs. The wax covers the dirty obscenities. Man, I’m so looking forward to it!
I do not yet know how I will receive him. With pleasure I present myself to my sex father in bomber jacket, mum’s red panties and jumper boots. But maybe I’d rather put on a diaper. Right now I’m back to piss and shit. My sanctuary. Too bad that Wilhelm can’t do anything with Dirty. Sure, he regularly orders me to kneel down in front of him to drink his warm piss, but he doesn’t want to do more. I’m not at all interested in his brown gold, but I’d love it if I had to eat my own shit out of a bowl while he whips me hard.
I can hardly wait for his testicle clappers! With a wooden spoon he then beats my balls then, while I have to pull my penis in length. And I say, „I deserve to be punished!“ The moment when I lie in my bed in front of him and he puts on a new diaper will be wonderful again. Before that he massages me long and intensively with baby oil. Then I always close my eyes and go on a long journey through time, back to the time when I was an infant and mummy changed me. I imagine her delicate hands.
*
The sturdy and healthy boy is perhaps four months old and was baptized with the name Tyson. It’s all there: cock, balls, tight ass. He’s lying naked on a soft blanket, bedded down on a kitchen table. He’s just been cleaned, his private parts shining with oil. He plays funny with his feet. This scene is captured photographically. By his mom. *By my mom. This boy is me. I often look at the picture at home. I even had it printed as a poster hanging on the wall of my bedroom. It’s always in view. On ephedrine and other stimulants the wonderful fantasies and wishes and passions come back to me, which have accompanied me since my early youth and later unfortunately faded a little bit. In my thoughts mom rubs me tenderly with oil. The whole body. Slowly and deliberately. I like it a lot. For 18 years. Only mom can touch my dick! Special attention is between my legs. She massages my balls and my cock with love. With her little finger of her right hand she drills carefully into my anus. Only half a centimeter, but that’s enough. It is the ultimate big moment between her and me. I am her. I belong to her. It’s the same flesh and blood. Same thoughts, same feelings. The only woman who can truly satisfy a man is her own mother. Then she bends down to me and she fences my body from top to bottom. She gives me my first orgasm.*
*In my most beautiful performance I lie at her mercy on the kitchen table. She pours boiling water over me. Then she takes a cane and punches my boy’s bottom. I deserve to be punished. I am Mama’s boy. I’m her slave. She gave birth to me, she can kill me. And in between, I bury my boy’s face between her legs. Her hairy cunt is my sanctuary. The sanctuary of a pissant shit-eater like me. On ephedrine and pills. Forever and ever. Forever and ever. Forever and ever.*
One of the reasons Tyson was a cocksucker and later focused his obsessions and tendencies on shit eating and piss drinking was because of the deep and boundless love he felt for his mother, which he never processed. And this is exactly where his submissive and twisted nature can be seen, because a warm mother-son relationship had never taken place in his childhood. There had never been any warm caresses from his mother. On the contrary. There were hailing whistles when he was too cheeky or too loud or just too handicapped. As a result, he himself bore a grudge against her which resulted in complete indifference – no, he did not hate her, but he would have coldly denied her at any time when it came to it.
One night, Tyson, 14 years old, was lying in his bed He was overcome with unbelievable lust, almost like on XTC. With his right hand he grasped his penis, which was sticking up in the air and twitching, and worked on it. Visions of his maker suddenly poured through his filthy mind. Mama in lingerie! Mama with whip and cane! The longing to lick her cunt and then fuck her passionately – for hours, for days, for a lifetime – was oversized and overpowering and no other desire he had ever had in his life could keep up with it. He began to moan, louder and louder and louder. He cried out for her: „Mama!“, „Mama!“ He knew she heard him, her bedroom was right next to his. If she came in now, he knew that, something incomparably beautiful and great would happen.
*Naked and shackled in chains, I hang in front of you. You pull my dick until I cry in pain. Then you beat my testicles with a wooden spoon. The just punishment for being unfaithful to you. Yes, my sex master, punish me and torture me. The boy must pay!*
*„This is what it feels like when you make love to a man. Do you like that?“, mum smiles spitefully, and laser flashes of pure hate shoot out of her eyes and burn my face. She knew from my birth that I was a warm brother and cocksucker and so she wants to drive me out of this devil’s work.*
*The blows on my scrotum get harder.*
*„Now repeat after me: I deserve to be punished! Go for it! Say it,“ she yells at me, followed by a scrotum swattering, which pulls everything towards me from below.*
*„I… deserved… punished… Mama…“ I can’t go any further. I feel faint. The last blow was intense. I’m pissing blood.*
*„This is what happens when you disobey me, you understand? Your dick is mine! You can only fuck me, understand? My cunt is your sanctuary!“ Forever and ever. Forever and ever. Forever and ever.*
She liked to keep him locked in a cage. Whenever she didn’t like him or when the amphetamine was particularly good. All afternoons and evenings he stayed there naked and in a deducting position. Other eight-year-olds played football or marbles outside, only he was kept in the cage. She made an incredible amount of ashes with him. The greedy men always came after 6 pm. Old fat guys with horn-rimmed glasses. Naked fat guys who ate his boy body. Disgusting slime in his face and ass. Little pricks and greasy eggs rubbing against his skin. Sometimes he threatened to suffocate under their weight.
*Of course she didn’t come to my room. She didn’t lie down with me and tenderly take my cock in her hand. No, I did not fuck her. The next day, I was embarrassed by this evening’s incident. I couldn’t look Mom in the eyes. I knew that she had heard my cries of pleasure the night before, because she punished me with even more massive disregard. She just couldn’t jump over her shadow. After that I successfully forgot this embarrassing incident for the time being. I had to! It could not be that I was horny on my own mother! It was probably some kind of slip … will not happen again. Only six years later, when I had my own apartment, lived one hour away from her and was on XTC for the first time, this with nothing comparable wish to make love with her returned. It was like a revelation!*
She taught me how to pee in the toilet like a real man. I was standing in front of it, my little wiener was just about to go over the toilet keys. I was six. Mama stood behind me and held it like it was a garden hose. I always liked that a lot. Sometimes we’d take a bath together. Then she’d soap me up and examine my dick. Then she carefully pulled my foreskin back and said: „I have to see if you have a foreskin constriction. Some boys your age have that and it makes a lot of ouch!“. With her thumb she would always rub my glans, which was a wonderful feeling. Mom’s the best.
*Yes, when I was 20 and lived alone, this longing came back, again and again. First on pills, later even in a clear and sober state. It was then always a „big bang“ feeling, the highest of the highest, the most beautiful of the most beautiful! Hard to describe the shit in words. In the beginning I was always ashamed of this overpowering desire to sleep with my mother, but with the habit the feeling of shame disappeared. I often thought about her pussy. Even when I had sex with other boys or older men, I imagined having sex with her. Not constantly, not every time, just when it was especially intense and extraordinary, especially on amphetamine.*
Again and again he wrote love letters to her in a frenzy, but he never dared to throw them into the mailbox. The letters were a mixture of tender poetry, real talk and dirty pornography, sometimes up to ten pages long. The next day, when the pills or the powder or the booze no longer had any effect, he tore them up with embarrassment and asked God on his knees for forgiveness, shat in his apartment and ate the stinking pile, out of humility. His greatest sanctuary was two red panties that he once stole from his mother. He kept them next to his bed in a travel bag, which was stuffed with porn magazines, dildos, harmless nude pictures of tender boys and photos of hefty piles of excrement. And when he really felt like it, he’d pull them out, pull one of those now baggy panties over his face and rub his penis with the other until it came. From the net he pulled photos of hairy pussies, because his mother never shaved her cunt. How he would have loved to shave and wallpaper her.
*Your womb is the holiest place in my life and in my galaxy. I worship it and I want to be obedient to you. Forever I bury my face between your legs and worship you and your body, holy mama! When I have penetrated deeply into you, when our bodies are one, when our tongues are wildly intertwined, then I know why I am alive: to experience the ultimate love is the highest good on this earth. Nothing and nobody can reach this truth. Why the hell didn’t you raise me as your boy toy when I was little? You had me in your hand! How I wish I had been your learned slave. You wanted it too! How I wanted to disappear under the covers with you. Instead, you detested me!*
*Right now it is hard to believe that she was my greatest desire for many years. She hasn’t appeared in my erotic dreams for over five years. From one day to the next she was gone. It was like flipping a switch. It just didn’t turn me on anymore. At times I miss it, of course, because these mother-son fantasies were the most profound and beautiful of all. I also often imagined lying next to her when I fell asleep. Both of us then always naked. She is the only person I really love. She thinks like me and feels like me. Once, I was about 21 and drunk as a skunk, I called her late at night: „Mum, can’t you come to my place and spend the night with me? I miss you. I want you with me. I want to feel your body. Please.“. „But boy, you can’t, I’m your mother“. From the tone of her voice, she wanted to say yes. It was a sigh of reason. Always that damned sense of reason and fucking decency. Why can’t they just fuck off for once?*
Only once in a while, when he lies in his bed, soaking wet with sweat, naked, with only a white, pissed and fullweight diaper on, after a long night of serving his almost 80 year old sex master, he looks at the photo of himself, which hangs as a poster on the wall. He imagines his mother tenderly grabbing him between his legs, dripping oil on his cock and balls and saying: „You are my little Romeo. You are the love of my life“.
*Punishment and pain are simply part of sex. And all this is not even necessarily for the purpose of pleasure. It’s like this: I’m a homo and I’m horny on my mother’s cunt. In other words: I’m a big sinner who doesn’t deserve this life. In order to show God that I repent, I like to be whipped to the blood and eat my own shit, in the quiet hope that he will forgive me and one day take me into his vast paradise. I humble myself in public. It’s the right thing to do. It must be so. I must be punished.*
*I owe nothing to anyone but him.*
*That barbed-wire whip can’t crack hard enough to rip the skin off. With rusty nails and drawing pins I can get through the scrotum and foreskin. It’s perfect luck. All around I squeeze cigarette butts on me, only the smell of burning pubic hair is unpleasant; the hissing of the cooking spoon on my freshly shaved eggs is a special bonus. I deserve to be punished.*
*
Yes, Wilhelm. He’s almost like Eugen. Or let’s put it this way: he’s the best possible replacement. It’s the same wavelength, the same feeling. Three or four times a year, it must be easy. Afterwards, I always feel like a zombie for days. Sore muscles and pain all over. Burns and burns and so I treat with iodine, it works quite well. What a pity that it is not possible to get high every day – just to be the way you really are. I suppose that these moments of ecstasy and perfection are harbingers of paradise. Nice performance. Free as on amphetamine and XTC, 24/7, floating in an endless lake of excrement and piss and sperm, receiving whip lashes. This is what ultimate happiness looks like.
I’ll probably wear Mom’s red panties when he’s at my door tomorrow. He likes that I had erotic fantasies with her from time to time since I was a teenager. He also likes it when I spoil him with my mouth between his legs. Then I keep his sperm in my mouth, change position quickly and rotate his jizz into his gullet. Always the highlight for him. Then we lie two hours completely finished tightly embraced and naked in bed. See you next time.
It’s a shame he used to work for a government agency. It would have been much better if he was an ex-teacher or ex-peace. But good. You can’t have it all. Tomorrow some rockets of lust and ecstasy will take off. Let’s see what his sack looks like. Well, he will look like always, sure, but last time I had him in my mouth for at least two hours and licked him. Actually, I should have sucked it away. Think he’ll put the barbed wire crown on me this time?
Just shit that I can’t preheat with shit. I’ve been messing with ephedrine for two days so I haven’t eaten. I don’t have to take a shit, the bowels are empty. Not a whistle, nothing. I only have to piss almost every hour, that’s fine. Well, Wilhelm will bring a full bladder, too, I’m really horny about that. I can’t understand that he also has an aversion to shit, he’s available for everything else! Only when you have a face full of warm and fresh poop and munch a lump of vomit, the world is okay. Remember that.
After days of being in a state of desolation, the new year has finally begun for me. Hello 2017!
Old sheets have been replaced by new ones, the hairstyle has been shortened (at least what you can still call a ‚hairstyle‘), the fridge has been reloaded and a bombastic fresh scent, which is due to the great fabric softener „Aprilfrisch“ from *Lenor*, can be found all the way into the last few brain twists. So the new year can start, but slowly – I have holidays until the 8th.
Hello, you living miscarriages and cunt lickers! Nice to be back in the country.
New Year’s Eve and New Year were hardcore. Harcore good and intense. My sex master gave himself after many months the honor and honored me with his cock and his whip. For well over 12 hours we were busy together in our own dark leather galaxy, spiced up with lots of ephedrine and caffeine. You could say that it was something like paradise. But after that nothing worked. Anyway, I was surprised that today I somehow managed to shuffle out of the house to get some food and a pack of nicotine. I felt like a zombie that came crawling out of its crypt after 1000 years. The whole body was a single sore muscle; the back was held together by gauze bandages under which a damp mixture of half-dried blood and iodine was bubbling. And my tail – well, I’m glad it’s still moving at all. It has survived everything so far, that is the main thing. It seems to have become smaller, that’s because of the ephedrine. He’s shrunk by half, the fucking bastard. A greedy little ephedrine dick that just won’t come to rest despite his torturous punishments.
In three days he has to be back on duty and in top shape again, because then Chris M., one of my young hetero buddies, will visit me, who comes by every now and then to take a shit in my apartment (note: get another dose of ephedrine!!). I think about it all the time. All the time. The need is big: because of the ephedrine, I only started to take solid food again last night, so I won’t be able to shit again until tomorrow at the earliest. In other words: since December 29th nothing comes out and I couldn’t spoil myself with a load of excrement since then. Hardly anyone can imagine how longingly I am waiting to be able to rub warm heavenly shit in my face and eat it again! This will easily turn into another three to four hour session, nice in my tiled bathroom, nice and druff. Nothing else turns me on, just this one kick to wallow in shit and piss. The excrements of young handsome guys is an incomparable pleasure and a great gift. The most beautiful and absolute joy and bliss. At the thought of these unique delights, I am overcome by a pleasant shiver, almost as if on smack, and on the tip of my glans seem to dance micro-small sex druids who want to get the old steamer going again.
I am also very grateful to all the boys who send me photos of their turds from all over Germany. It hurts directly to look at these beautiful poop portraits, knowing that they have all been washed down, gone forever! It seems so wrong to me, because they should all end up in my gullet and not in the sewer. Unique lumps in various shades of brown and consistencies, created by the magical bodies of adorable young men. One of them, a gifted German rapper, has even offered to send me a whole shit set of himself soon! Maybe I will get a small freezer or a mini fridge to preserve these brown jewels. I was also thinking of building a small altar on which, whenever the urge and horniness have reached a new peak, I can position the respective Shrines in a dignified manner to pay homage to them with devotion and passion. Yes, that is a good idea.
But right now I will be looking forward to Friday, around 5:00 p.m. Then the slicky and gorgeous Chris M. will come to visit me and give me a present of a handsome dream sausage again. I have to say: he always gets really stable and long brownies, just to fall in love with. I would love to hang it around my neck every time and wear it proudly as a precious ornament. Brown diamond necklaces, which could not be more valuable. Warm boy piss raining down on my head. I am the enchanted shit princess from the loo land.
Source: reddit.com/r/sexystories/comments/f2pmu9/radiated_on_new_years_eve_the_ephedrine