Taken from [findingerotica]
“*I had to do my own research, often from watching tv and film, which also set up impossible expectations of romance and love. It also complicated my view of my sexuality. Any time there would be an Asian character, they were often reduced to over-sexualized roles (sexy assassin, sexy dragon lady, sexy nail salon worker, hookers, etc.) or de-sexualized ones (doctors, engineers, and other nerds). Where’s a happy medium?? Also, as a muscular girl of above average height, I’ve had to contend with the ingrained notion that Asian women have to be delicate and small to be beautiful.”* – Dani
In part one of this blog series I highlighted some of the horror and stereotypes of being an Asian Woman with examples from the stories of The Comfort Women and Chanel Miller. In part two I’ll focus on some misconceptions and generational truths regarding sex, sharing how modern-day Asian women have taken stands to proclaim and establish their full humanity.
It’s been very difficult throughout the ages for women to fight against injustice given men from the beginning of time have been more dominant and powerful. They are seen as the warrior who goes out and hunts for food, fights for territory and sits in leadership positions creating laws and rules that serve their gender, race and personal agenda. Women on the other hand are understood to be the weaker vessel, sitting quietly on the sidelines, taking care of the house, submitting to her king and birthing his children.
We can sit back and say that each generation of women in every culture must first take ownership of perpetuating ideologies that guide society to believe a specific thing about their identity, but we have to understand that a system or a way of thinking is constructed to limit a woman’s ability to stop that perpetuation. For example, up until the 1950’s many Chinese women continued to bind their feet as a sign of refinement, sensuality and beauty. Beginning in the upper classes of the Han Chinese society, young girls were told that the most desirable bride would have a three-inch foot simulating a Lotus flower. In the eyes of men, it also meant that women’s thighs and pelvic muscles would be much tighter and would allow for their sexual experience to be intensified.
With this belief system in place impoverished families began to deform the feet of their daughters at a young age so to attract future rich husbands despite the painful and crippling effect it had on them. During this time women did not have rights or laws that protected them if they wanted to go against what was being practiced, so they accepted this way as a norm to ensure that a young girl would have a better chance at marriage and would be cared for in her latter years.
Historically, film and television have portrayed false depictions of Asian women. In 1948 the movie “Spring in a Small Town” starring actress Wei Wei, banned by the Chinese government for not having enough politics, depicted a young lady in a hopeless marriage living in a desolate town vacillating between the husband she forced herself to fall in love with and the childhood boyfriend who appears back in her life 10 years later. Forsaking her true love she was left to serve the one that she has little to no love for. This demonstrates the predicament of many women; denying your own personal happiness to satisfy customs.
In 1960 Hollywood introduced an exotic Asian fruit to the big screen named Suzy Wong, someone who fulfilled the fantasies of white men and illustrated the stereotypical image of an Asian woman – a loose, free spirited, submissive woman with a spark of rebellion needed to maintain her sanity making every white woman jealous of her independence.
Rather than limiting women to the stereotypical roles of either passive caretaker or sexualized vixen, “We need a whole generation of Asian American women to be seen. They need better roles so they can flex their acting muscles and display the full range of their talent” says Nancy Yuen in the article: How television portrays Asian American women.
Conversations surrounding sex, intimacy, relationships and dating were not table talk in most Asian homes. Most Asians did not have sex before marriage becoming boyfriend and girlfriend after minimal interactions and then actually began the dating process of going out and getting to know each other alone. Because traditional Asians prided themselves on their marriages, families and children, dating was more about compatibility, companionship, socioeconomic status, education and/or ethnicity. A potential candidate’s introduction to the family would determine one’s ability to continue dating based on the listed criteria.
Despite the fact that there’s still work to be done and battles to be won Asian women continue to push forward letting the world know they are emerging out of the old by setting in place new ideals and principles for themselves giving them the freedom to determine what’s right and wrong when it comes to love, relationships and sex. They will no longer accept being mistreated without a fight. They will no longer allow society to put them in a box only to be judged according to a certain stereotype. Asian women have come to better understand the power they have and where their true beauty lies. As we continue to progress in our thinking we’ll learn to appreciate the true value and elegant nature of the Asian Woman.
In part three we’ll recognize and acknowledge trailblazers who are setting new trends when it comes to standing up for the Asian Woman’s entire being”.
Source: reddit.com/r/Erotica/comments/emvpmg/the_horror_stereotypes_misconceptions_and_the