The irony that the Jehovas witness wanted to be blindfolded while blowing me is not lost on me but im not thinking about that as much as thinking of the versatility of the single red necktie I own. Im not taking that in as she takes me, all of me in. Im still thinking about Captain America. Thats how this whole inconveniance started.
I loved comic books in my teens. Especially the well written ones. And especially the well written ones with smart, metal bleeding females that could take out armies and bounce quarters off their ass.
As I got older, more independent and subsequently poorer I transferred this nostalgia and genuine love to the more digestible form of well made serial comic book films. Last summer wasnt just Infinity War, it was the cinema portrayal of my infinite war and peace with escapism. I had gotten a loud Captain America t shirt which proved two personal truths to me: I was no longer a pudgey geeky teenager but rather a reasonably attractive well kept vessel and as the Jehovas Witness that lives down and across the hall pointed out, too old for the shirt.
Drably dressed, concealing everything as an animal I suspected I would find desirable I made a hollow bet:
“You come see this movie with me and Ill let you talk about God or Jehova over pancakes all on my dime.”
The whole unexpected platonic date was pleasant.
Later that night she knocked on my door wearing the fluffiest cleanest and most conservative bedrobe and slippers I had ever seen.
She said she couldnt sleep and asked if she could come in for just a second.
I obliged.
She asked me if i could keep a secret.
I said depends. She asked with a more serious tone.
She asked if i had any neck ties.
I had one.
She said something under her breath. She tied it around her eyes and took off her clothes.
“I came to see something. You talked all day. Say nothing. Just listen.”
She slowly and blindly reached for me. She found my hardening dick.
“Thought so,” she said.
The distractions: the tie, the movie, the pancakes all soon melted. It was late. I could hear nothing but lips and tongue softly but more and more aggressively take me in.
“Shut your eyes. Enjoy this cause it will never ever happen again.”
I obeyed, slave to the current.
I never had been and never since was a screamer.
But “oh God oh my God oh holy fuck!” Came before I did. I collapsed onto my couch, deafened by the post coital glow.
I never saw her leave. I never saw her, or my neck tie, again.