Edited version of my first short story

He drove home silently this time; the road just a dark strip through the dusk. He had miles ahead of him and plenty to think about for the time being. On the one hand, he is genuinely happy–spending an entire weekend with his girl never failed to amplify his happiness. She’s full of surprises. Claiming to be emotionally stunted, but she put so much effort into their relationship. Stealing his clothes, stepping outside her comfort zone just to spend a little more time with him, offering to take his dog when his dad threatens to get rid of him (again). But, on the other hand, he’s still a little curious and angry the snake showed up during his visit in the first place and even though he is happy by the grace of god he cant get this jerk out of his head. He knows he should try to move past it. This wasn’t Jakes fight, though he wanted to fight it for her, though he knows she doesn’t need the help. This was something she had to do on her own.
He had done everything to avoid contact with him when he actually did slither from hell to her front door.. What was the damn kid thinking? She had never actually disclosed her address to this snake, which is stalkerish in and of itself. Secondly, this poor excuse for a man had been lucky that he wasn’t beaten over the head with a wooden paddle that was meant for a bare ass.
Jake smoked two cigarettes when snake appeared. He wasn’t extraordinarily tall or athletic-looking. He sported the high man bun with the sides of his head shaved, a short beard, and glasses that didn’t quite look as if they were real. A classic “hipster” look which he knew she couldn’t resist. Jake knew he had to wait outside, pacing in the nebraska evening.
The air smelt of cow shit, matching the overall tone of her visit with the man she never wanted to talk to, to see..to think about. She still greeted him with her usual high pitched “hello” in which she adds the emphasis on the second syllable as she squeaks. She led him to the safety of her home, unlocking two sets of doors. He penetrated her new found safety she felt in this home. She panicked as he sauntered behind her, stumbling due to the alcohol coursing through his veins. She was thus reminded of the unwarranted breath on her neck, the soft hands invading the lace of her panties, the nails against her nipples. His voice echoing in her conscious “of course you want it…you know you want it…you’re being a slut, remember?”. She ignored the anxiety in her bones because she knew she had to sit him down, and end this war raging inside of her.
“You can sit down if you want,” she mumbled as she remained standing–a few feet away. “Do you want some water or something to sober up for a while?” his composure is reminiscent of all the times he would confess his love to her when he was drunk. All the times he forgot what the word “no” meant while he kissed whiskey into her mouth, unwarranted hands grazing her prude-slut skin. All the times he threatened to kill himself seated next to his craft beer.
Eventually Jake would go back inside the apartment, which now had a different feeling. Static was in the air. He felt the tension–hatred. He sat in the bedroom while she and the snake talked in the living room. He slipped his phone back into his pocket after making some calls to friends to calm him down a bit. He knew he needed someone to talk him out of bashing this hipster’s brains into the sidewalk tonight. Overall, Jake was a good kid. He had never broke the law and definitely never killed; though with his air force job coming up it is definitely something that he was afraid he might have to do. He was worried this would change him. He had become too accustomed to taking care of people–not fighting them.
He wished for nothing more than for her to kick him out and come join him in bed. Snake was smarter than that though. He brought her a bottle of her favorite vodka, supplying to her delinquency as a minor. Hoping it would loosen her up like it had in the past. He had already been drinking fairly heavily before driving to see her. Two crimes. Less than 4 hours.
She finally found the courage to kick him out. Riddled with anxiety she rubbed her hands and realized she felt numb again.
“You okay?” he inquired, concerned.
“Yeah but honestly, i need someone to hurt me right now”
It was her way of coping. She needed to feel something other than the numbness on her skin and the anxiety in her bones. He led her to the bedroom, collecting his toys and allowing them to lie on the floor next to the mattress.
“On your stomach” he growled in her ear. She has to step meticulously to avoid stepping on his playthings.
“Let me get everything,” jake says. He comes back with rope cuffs. The floggers and paddle off the floor and the vibrator wand. He knows exactly what she wants. He’s okay with it, he would rather it be this way than another. The corner of the room that were on is covered in tapestries, on the wall and ceiling. Her weighted blanket lays at the foot of the bed. He used his whips and paddles against her bare ass. Stinging more and more with each blow. Letting out something between a whimper and a moan each time she felt the cool wood or leather smack the heat of her ass. Continuing until she was bruised and shaking–whimpering with tears slowing cascading down her face. She only turns away from his power out of habit–she wants the pain.
“The paddle hurts!” Says Mia, the pain in her voice evident alongside the clear stimulation that slightly overpowers it. Along with the stimulation in her voice it’s very prevalent that she is enjoying it as her nipples are hard, the bars going through them shinning dully in the dark.
“This is what you asked for… back on your stomach!” Jake demands and she does as she’s told. He spanks her twice more with the paddle. After that, he tells her that she is in charge of getting herself to orgasm through the vibrator. She can only get there through clit stimulation, Jake learned early on. She not only wanted to be hurt but she wanted to be fucked until she could barely move and who was he to neglect her of that.
After an hour they are lying in bed again. He is happy for her lying next to him, but she still seems anxious. Jake lets her wrap herself around him. She squeezes his bare back with her entire forearm while shaking and struggling to breath. It took everything he had to stay awake in order to comfort her. He wanted to make her home feel safe again. He wants her to know shes safe in his arms. As he dozes off, comforted with her presence,she whispers in his ear, “I’ll be back soon. I’m think i’m gonna go out there for a bit,” gesturing her head towards the living room.
“Okay.” He says half asleep. He wakes up in the morning, greeted by her bright blue eyes staring directly at him. A bit frightening but at least she was with him.
“When did you come back to bed?” Jake asks
“Around 4:30am.” Mia says. Jake woke up rather quickly hearing this. They lied together for a while, just admiring the skin to skin contact. Kisses shared hazily between morning stretches.
Jake smelled of stale cigarettes and a musky soap that reminded her of almonds.. He had a mousy nose that made his eyes and ears look a little too large for his head, and short dark brown hair that he left unkempt from last nights sleep. When he spoke he spoke fast, as if it were the last breathe and he had to say what was on his mind before he went.
Mia sat on her couch doing homework. As an English major, she always had some. She always managed to get straight A’s too, no matter how much she procrastinated the work. It vexed him. He even envied her for it as he had never been a good student. He noticed a second too late she was looking back at him staring at her.
He stood there, wondering what she was thinking. Right now she looked content. Happy even; however, she was infamous for her animated facial expressions when in her academic mode. Her face looked as though she was deep in analytical thought–and that was her specialty. When she wasn’t dawning this skeptic face she had a peaceful look on her. Like a child in sleep, it was the kind of look that made you want to curl up next to her and fall asleep knowing it would be a peaceful rest.
It wasn’t his fault he is easily distracted by her looks. Her face was like ivory. Her nose decorated with hoops. Her ears filled with almost more metal than skin. Perfectly tweezed eyebrows that complimented her not so innocent blue-green eyes. Not to mention the beautiful strawberry blonde hair that ran down to the small of her back. He liked her. Leaving after a weekend like this one, where they spent the majority behind closed doors. Leaving her, for him, was never easy; Always hurt a little bit being torn away from someone that amplified his happiness and his smile by something as trivial yet crucial as work. They both knew they had to split but it didn’t make it any easier. Most drives home were filled with loud music and an aching to turn around so as to hold her again that night.
And then he was home, or at least his version of home for the time being. “Time for another long boring week.” He said to himself as he walked inside, just to go to bed without her.

Source: reddit.com/r/Erotica/comments/d9o2i3/edited_version_of_my_first_short_story