Let me tell you a secret about a real dominant and submissive relationship, because there are a lot of assumptions out there that muddy the waters, but only one single, final truth. A dominant and a submissive may have many things in common despite their juxtaposition, his harsh overbearing presence, her blind servitude, but there is something that binds them together and it is not sex, it’s not even physical.
It is assumed that the dominant man wants nothing more than the raw thrill of harsh sex as he demands and that the submissive longs to simply please him, her soft, feminine temperament all encompassed by his masculinity. It’s true, in part, but not in finality.
The true dominant breaks her, because he loves her and he has no idea how to keep her, he has all the confidence of a lion in the bedroom and none when holding her meager little heart inside of his hand.
In secret, he hates himself for his inability to be with her, fully with her, despite owning every minute inch of her and his beautiful submissive giving it all over to him willingly. It doesn’t matter, because as he spurs her undeserved attention he knows that deep down he is the one who is undeserving of her.
She will bend and she will break because he asks her too, because he commands it and she will do so not only willingly, but because her hands are outstretched and offering this inflection of her crimson heart for him to harbor, she wants it just as badly as he does, despite his seemingly arrogant malice towards her. But it is not arrogance or malice; it is the fear of dreaded longing.
The one thing that both of these parties have in common and share, is the fear of abandonment.
He puts up a brick wall knowing that she will leave him one day, as they always do because he cannot articulate himself, because his harbored resentment can only come out in a single instance, by the sting of a crop. She will never feel that she is worthy of his attention, of his measure as she has never felt worthy before in her life, in any instance and at any axis of time.
This is the curse of the true dominant and the true submissive.
He doesn’t want to hurt her, he never did and he is terrified of opening up his heart to her and then losing her.
She wants to be closer to him, the closest that she can but she can never speak the words and instead kneels in silence and servitude, always wanting more, always needing more…
Best to keep her tied up a little longer then, best to close my eyes and pretend I can keep her close to me forever…
Source: reddit.com/r/Erotica/comments/12pf526/bdsm_the_curse_of_the_true_dominant_and_the