In many stories, there’s a protagonist and an antagonist. There’s someone to root for. But in my story, nobody deserves to be seen as good. We were all nothing but selfish people acting on selfish urges.
“I’m glad we’re friends, Serena,” she whispered into the darkness. I lay beside her, unmoving, listening for her heartbeat and soft breathing. My eyes had grown adjusted to the dark whilst we’d been laying on our backs, staring at the ceiling and talking. I turned my head to face her, wishing I could reach out to her. My eyes followed the shape of her face down her nose to her lips. She turned over and propped herself on her arm, meeting my gaze. “I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
I hummed, forcing my eyes away from her. I could feel a familiar feeling rise up in my stomach, threatening to free itself. I swallowed harshly, trying to push it further down. “It wouldn’t be that different, would it?” I asked her, my voice hushed. Both of us kept our voices low and breathy so as not to wake up our friends sleeping in adjacent rooms.
“Without you, I wouldn’t have been able to muster up the courage to talk to Lucas.” I felt something inside of me crumble at her words. She smiled brightly at me, and it lit up the entire room. “If it weren’t for your uplifting attitude, I would never have had the confidence to talk to him at all.”
Fucking hell. I hated that my flirting was what helped her get one step closer to him. I sucked in a breath before matching her smile, determined to carry out my duty as her best friend first and foremost. “I’m lucky to have you,” I answered. “If it weren’t for you, I could very well be dead.” I don’t consider myself to be a dramatic person. I really would be dead if it weren’t for her saving me. Dead, as in, not alive. Dead.
“What if I hadn’t been there?” she asked. “You need to stand up for yourself better.”
“Don’t think about the what ifs. It’s finished, anyway,” I answered quietly. “I’m just glad you are such a good person.”
“A good person?” she scoffed. “Anyone would have done the same thing. I know Lucas would have.”
“Lucas?” I sat up. I hadn’t controlled myself nor did I know what my body was doing. I felt like I was watching from afar as my body robotically sat up and stared down at her. “Why does it always have to be about Lucas?” My savior, my hero, my best friend. She had been it all for years ever since that day we met, and she saved my life. Couldn’t she see that before anyone–before this Lucas or any of our other friends had been here, it was me first?
“I just think that doing what I did isn’t what makes me a good person. I think anyone would have done the same in my position,” she explained, looking up at me.
“But it wasn’t just anybody who did it. It was you, Ruby,” I said softly, twirling a piece of her hair in my fingers. She looked up at me so innocently, and I couldn’t help but find those shining eyes to be a delicious sight. I loved the sight of her looking up at me–a sight in which I had the immense privilege of seeing often, being older and taller than her myself. “You were the one who made the impact,” I whispered, leaning close to her. “I love you.”
“Of course, I love you too,” she said enthusiastically. “We’ve loved each other for forever.”
“No,” I said, cupping my hand to her cheek. “Not like that.”
I think she knew in her eyes, but she asked anyway. “Like what, then?” Her voice was just barely above a whisper.
I leaned down and pressed my lips to hers. Her lips were warm, like a fire keeping the snow and ice away from it. I felt her gasp into my mouth, and I used the opportunity to slip my tongue inside. Kissing her was like a dream I never wanted to awaken from. If never waking up meant dying, then so be it. She’d be the last thought in my mind before I went out. She had saved me, and I wanted to show her how much it had meant to me.
I knew who Ruby was. She was kind, and if she wanted something, she got it. I knew, though, that our friendship meant everything to her, and she wouldn’t risk it for the world. Even if it meant indulging in my desires. Even if she didn’t want to, I knew she would because she loved me. Not the way I loved her, but whatever her love may be was enough. The love I had for her was claimed already. That love was closed and locked, and the only one with the key…
Well, that didn’t matter. At that moment, it was not him in the room with her. It was me. “I get it,” I said into her ear. “You love *him* like this, right?”
Tears welled up in her eyes as she nodded. “I’m sorry,” she whispered.
My hand trailed up her leg, her nightgown making way. “It’s okay,” I answered softly. “You can still love him. I’ll just help you practice.” I slipped my hand into her panties. The heat from her core immediately took hold of me as her whimpers surrounded my mind. “You should try to be quiet. You wouldn’t want to wake everyone.”
She nodded, a singular tear falling from the corner of her eye. Her breathing grew heavier as I touched her. Being at least a head taller than her, I easily held her arms down with one arm as I pressed my lips to hers. This time, she readily intertwined her tongue with mine. Our tongues danced and shook hands as if they were Cinderella and her prince. I felt her chest heaving below me as our kiss deepend, and my fingers became braver and more firm. She got so wet so quickly, it astounded me. It gave me hope. I loved her more than anything, and I longed for those feelings to be returned.
I broke the kiss and looked down at her. Her eyes were shut, but they opened as the line of saliva broke, disconnecting us. She grinded her hips into my hand and wrapped her arm around my neck, trying to pull me back into the kiss. Each of these telltale signs should have elated me. I should have been ecstatic that she returned my feelings. But that look in her eyes had no feeling behind it. No love, nor adoration. Just lust. I felt my heart break a little in my chest. I was given no time to think on my feelings before she successfully pulled me back into a deep, desperate kiss. “Serena,” she moaned into my mouth.
“Keep your voice down,” I whispered. I allowed my other hand to search her body. Her skin was warm, as though she had just taken a bath. I breathed in her scent as I kissed her neck and her collarbone. I licked and sucked as though I had been starving, and she was fresh and ready to eat.
“I…I don’t think I will be able to stay quiet,” she whispered desperately. “I’m so close.”
I kept my tempo steady and the pressure constant. I didn’t want to risk changing it up and causing her steadily approaching orgasm to fade away. I leaned down to kiss her once again, and just moments later, she was moaning into my mouth. I continued touching her, allowing her to ride out her orgasm as her noises were muffled into our kiss.
“Serena,” she whimpered, chest rising and falling much quicker now after she had finished. I didn’t say anything as I ran my fingers through her hair, removing my other hand from her, only to press my fingers against her lips. She immediately opened her mouth, allowing me to slip in as she tasted herself from my fingers. She looked up at me with wide eyes filled with trust and arousal, but not love. It ate away at my heart, but I could feel my own pussy dripping at her sexy moans and whimpers.
I suppose she must have noticed because she decided to return the favor. She guided me to lay beside her, so I climbed off of her and lay on my side, facing her. She kissed me softly once more, almost giving me the love I so desperately wanted from her. I felt her hand move my nightgown aside and slip into my panties as her mouth nipped at my neck. I kissed the top of her head before pushing it further down. I shifted myself to lay on my back as I spread my legs. “Take them off,” I whispered in response to her fidgeting with the hem of my panties. She nodded and slipped them off, taking a look at what lay beneath.
“Whoa,” she muttered. “You’ve got no hair down there.”
I felt myself laugh a little. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to tell her that I’d shaved just in case, since I knew I’d be coming here with *her*. Instead, I opted for a nod. “Hurry, now, I don’t know how much longer I can wait.”
“I’ve never done this before… I-I don’t know how.”
“That’s what I’m here for. To teach you.”
As I guided her, she learned quickly. Soon I was able to just enjoy her tongue, not needing to guide her anymore. I felt the little bolts of electricity as she hit sweet spots. I could tell she was getting fatigued, as it took me a bit longer to finish than it did for her, but she powered through. As I orgasmed, I can’t deny it felt great, like any other orgasm. Of course it did. But something was wrong, and now I knew what it was. “Fuck,” I whispered. “Ruby, I-” I pulled her back up to eye level as tears formed in my eyes. “I’m sorry.” As the reality of what I’d done set in, I felt that same feeling in my chest only grow until I physically cried out in pain. “I’m so sorry.”
She looked at me blankly, a hint of worry in her furrowed brow. Her cheeks were still dusted a light pink, and she still glowed from her orgasm. But I felt I had only become dimmer.
“I was selfish,” I continued. “I forced myself on you. Fuck, Ruby, I’m so sorry.” I felt my hatred for myself resurface. There was no excuse for what I had done.
“I didn’t know you loved me in that way,” she said. “I’m sorry.”
“You’re not supposed to be the one apologizing. I knew you loved Lucas, and I still took advantage of you. I’m supposed to be your best friend. Your safe space.” I looked away, blinking back tears. “But I just can’t do that. I love you too much, and it hurts me to see you with him like that.” I crawled out of the covers and out of the bed. “I-I’m going to go sleep on the couch, and I’ll leave tomorrow. I’ll tell the rest I got sick and to have fun without me.”
“Wait, don’t go!” Ruby cried. “We can talk about this.”
“No, Ruby. I can’t stay like this.”
“Can’t we just stay friends? Like how it’s always been?” she asked desperately, grabbing my hand.
I pulled away. “Don’t you see? It was hurting me. I acted on my pain, and now this has happened. Don’t you get it? I should’ve left a long time ago.”
“Please,” she begged. “Stay with me. I need you.”
“Don’t you realize how selfish that is of you to ask that of me?” I exclaimed, my voice growing louder unintentionally. “Do you know how much I loved you? How much I still love you?”
“What’s going on?” Lucas asked from the doorway, his face laced with worry. “Are you two okay?”
“Serena? What’s wrong?” Max asked from behind Lucas. Max, my childhood friend, knew about my love for Ruby, and hearing his voice broke me. I felt the tears run down my face as I pushed past the two men at our door, running out into the rain that mixed with my tears. I was unsure where I wanted to go, but I knew I wanted it to be far away from there. I aggressively wiped my tears away before glancing at the log cabin we had rented [one last time.](https://reddit.com/u/vividwiththequill)
Source: reddit.com/r/Erotica/comments/125xc5x/selfishness_dubcon_ff_lesbian_unrequited_love