-3,5k words-
I’ve struggled with my confidence for the longest time, something that I’m sure many other girls can relate to. For as long as I could remember, I’ve let others run everything in my life. Maybe it was because of the way I looked.
Even at 26, I was smaller than the average woman, petite and thin. I had just enough curves to be correctly identified as an adult woman, but not enough to compare to others my age, nor to attract the male gaze. I was far from the féminin ideal. Men passed by me daily and women weren’t threatened by my presence.
At the very least, I’d been with a few men before, so I wasn’t totally inexperienced with the other gender. Though, it had been nothing more than flings and hookups.
That much, though it hurt me to no end, I could deal with.
What I could not deal with, was my lack of confidence and general urgency over my actions. At times I felt more like a third-party passenger than an actual person. I’d let others decide things about me that they should have no agency over, without ever being able to muster any pushback. Yeah, I was that bad.
I ended up in a relatively comfortable position in life but through none of my own actions.
My weak disposition frustrated me to no end. It would not be an understatement to say that it made me hate myself. I hated being the poor little girl who could never speak her mind. I hated the feeling of having words caught in my throat every time I tried to speak my mind. And most of all, I hated the persistent indecisiveness that plagued my mind.
After years of being like this, I could barely stomach the person I’d become.
It all came to head one day. And I lay in my bed, my face covered in tears. My eyes stung and my heart ached. It felt like a hand was compressing my chest. I felt so overwhelmed, so exhausted, and most of all, frustrated at both myself and the world. I hated the person I’d become and I hated the world for making me turn out to be this way. I truly did not want to spend another day as this kind of person.
So, I resolved to end it all today.
My life of weakness and misery would end today.
I reached for my laptop on the nightstand and dedicated the next few hours to finding an answer. Most of the advice I stumbled upon was things I’d already tried, but I kept my head down and continued to push through.
My eyes still stung, but determination filled my spirit. I was already off to a good start.
After some time, I stumbled on a page claiming to have the secret to creating confidence. I recognize the author of the blog as a famous Professor, so I excitedly clicked on the link and prepared myself to be cured of my sickness.
The contents of the page were very much out there. The page was covered in black and white erotic images, while the text portion occupied only a small portion of the screen. The well-known Professor Barbara Keesling wrote about the many ways of acquiring confidence as a woman. One of which was to become sexually submissive.
She went on to state that dominance is transitive and thus must come from somewhere. In the case of women with few sexual partners, they would need to become sexually submissive to become more dominant in their daily life. She made the comparison to the alchemical process, it was all about an equivalent exchange in a sense.
The very idea sounded insane to me and I was ready to stop my research for the night. But, a part of my brain, the same part that was touched starved, lonely, and craved male validation and attention, was intrigued by it.
In the end, I decided that it wouldn’t be so bad to at least try it out. That night the thought of doing the deed with a stranger had been strangely appealing. I hadn’t been with a man in quite a while and there was only so much I could do on my own.
In any case, whether the idea worked or not, my night would end better than it had started.
I quickly glanced over at the time on my phone, it was well past 1 am. I jumped up and in a record amount of time, I’d cleaned the smeared makeup off my face and had found an attractive outfit to wear.
A black dress that stopped at mid-thigh, and left the top part of my back exposed. I had to go without a bra to properly pull off the dress. I pulled my brown hair out of its ponytail and let it fall to my mid-back. I top off the outfit with a pair of black heels, that added some much-needed height to my small stature. In the end, I decided to forgo redoing my make-up, opting to head out as fast as possible.
Once my preparations were complete, I headed for the streets.
I used my phone to get a cab and headed toward one of the many clubs in the downtown area. I arrived a bit past the closing time, but not late enough that no one would be there.
The edge of the crowd proved to be a good scouting spot and I observed the hoards of lonely men leaving the clubs alone. I just needed to find a guy that was hot enough, that was my only criteria for tonight. I’d put up with anything for the sake of becoming more confident. Even putting up with an asshole guy was a small price to pay.
Eventually, I spotted a tall man slowly making his way out of the crowd. His jaw was square and his cheekbones were high, and I almost wondered how such a handsome guy could be going home alone.
The reason was quickly made apparent, as I watched him leer at the girls around him with a visible hunger in his eye. His eyes alone made his intentions very explicit, something that seemed to put off the girls around him. This was exactly what I needed, a hyper-sexual guy, that seemed to have very little self-restraint.
Source: reddit.com/r/Erotica/comments/125tmg4/pi_dominance_doesnt_come_from_nowhere_if_she
I watched him leave the crowd and followed him from a distance. When he was far enough from the horde of people, I made my move. I walked up to him and pretended to bump into him. His hungry gaze turned towards me and I knew that I could no longer take this back. I was now in the lion’s den.
“You headin’ home?” he asked.
“D-depends if you are,”
His smile was charming, and it would have made my heart swoon if they’re hadn’t been a dark glint in his eyes. This guy was bad news, but he was just what I needed for tonight.
“Then you can come chill at mine,”
I nodded meekly and started to walk near him. He wasted no time wrapping his arm around my shoulder and I felt goosebumps when I felt his fingers glide over my bare skin.
I had to push down my urge to run away.
I had to be completely submissive tonight, so I swallowed the bile rising in my throat and leaned into his side. He said nothing, but from the way his hand move down to my breasts and squeeze them he seemed to think it was the right move.
We walked in silence as he continued his odd attempt at foreplay. Though to his credit, my nipples were hard and my pussy was starting to stain my panties.
By the time we reached his apartment, a nice high-rise residential building, my face was tinted red. My heart was pounding in my ears as we made our way up the elevator. As soon as the doors closed, he pushed me into the glass mirror and proceeded to shove his tongue into my mouth. I accepted his tongue into my mouth and had to put up with him shoving it down my throat. His hands groped and slapped my ass, only stopping when he heard the ding of the elevator.
He grabbed my hand and pulled me to a door on the far side of the hall. My breath quickened as he fumbled for his keys. I knew what was about to happen and though this guy gave me the ick, I could only hope I would enjoy it, or that the advice I was given would be true, though at this point it felt secondary.
His door opened with a soft click and the next thing I knew I was pulled inside and he went back to kissing me. Though this time, he grabbed me by my ass and hoisted me up into the air. I had to wrap my hands around his neck to stop myself from falling. We eventually arrived to his room and he dropped me onto his bed.
“Strip,” he commanded and I hurriedly did as I was told. My black dress slipped off my frame revealing my perky nipples and my height dropped by several inches when I tossed off my heels. It went unsaid that my panties held a bit of my wetness.
I watched with rapt attention as the stranger stripped. His shirt came off to reveal a muscular but thin physique. He had the most shredded abs I’d ever seen and his flaccid penis was the size of all of the erect one’s I’d seen.
God, if this guy wasn’t such a creep he’d make for the perfect piece of eye candy.
His cock swung as he approached me and I had to remind myself that I swore to submit to him. No matter what he would do to me, I would have no objections. I would let him defile my body, all in the name of confidence.
I sat on the edge of the bed and waited for him to put a hand on me, mold me, and turn me into whatever he wanted me to be. I was fully prepared to be used only for his pleasure, to be no better than a sex doll, if only for the night.
He placed his thick cock on my lips, and I wasted no time in taking him in my throat. I felt his cock harden inside my mouth and soon it was too big for me to fully take it in. I felt him going too far, but I did my best to take him as far as I could, even as I gagged on his cock. I loosened up my throat and forced myself to breathe through my nose.
He continued to fuck my throat and I did nothing to dissuade him. The sound of his cum covered cock fucking my esophagus filled the room.
I felt disgusted, I hated the feeling of him forcing his length inside my mouth. I wanted nothing more than to push him away and take a fresh breath. No, what I really wanted was to call this off and head home to cry under my weighted blanket. But, I couldn’t do that. Not when my confidence was on the line. So I remained wholly submissive to the stranger and played to his whims.
After some time, I got used to the feeling of his cock stretching my jaw, his smooth balls bouncing on my chin, and his large hand holding the back of my head while he pulled onto my hair.
The comfort was short-lived.
He started to increase his speed and I could barely hang on to the contents of my stomach as he forced himself as deep as he could go. I could barely breathe and on top of that, his precum was forcing its way through my nose, mixing with my snot. Tears streaked down my face and I was glad I had decided to forego the makeup.
“I’m gonna cum, swallow it like a good little slut,” he growled.
That was the only warning I got before he shove himself as far as he could down my throat. I gagged again and had to swallow my bile, as his cum flooded my mouth. His semen came out in a smooth never ending jet. I swallowed as much as I could, desperate to not let any out, but eventually, it was too much for me to hand and I choked. I struggled for air and trying to breathe proved to be a massive mistake as the cum flooded my airways and shot out through my nose.
I was choking and there was nothing I could do to get away from it. The stranger continued to cum in my mouth and time seemed to slow. My eyes went wide as more and more cum forced itself inside me. I briefly wondered if I’d die drowning in his cum.
Fortunately for me, he stopped before I could get to that point. He pulled my head off his cock, perhaps as a small act of mercy, and I coughed out lung-fulls of cum. I struggled to catch my breath, my heart was pounding and I felt light-headed. My throat throbbed.
“Good girl,”