(This story is completely fictional. I wrote it just for fun so the events and characters in this story are not real.)
*This story is very silly and was written to be absurd*
Summer had come as quickly as Winter passed. The sun was high and bright with no clouds to block its rays, the temperature was gorgeous and I had the whole day ahead of me to enjoy it. I awoke and enjoyed a light breakfast and began to get ready. I had organised a meet up with a friend I had not seen in quite a few years. He was called Nate and he was one of those friends who I used to be super close with and then slowly dropped out of contact with due to real life showing its face and filling us both with jobs and responsibilities. I made an effort when Spring came around to try and reach out with a few people to see if anyone was up for being social again. Unfortunately, most disappeared after a few short lived discussions, but as always, Nate was reliable.
Thus we planned a little meet up in the city centre in the lovely weather without much of a plan. Simply see where the day takes us, I was sure it would be a fun day no matter what. I’d at least get a bit of a tan anyway. I chose a newly purchased light purple sundress as my attire. Double checking myself in the mirror, I was actually quite pleased with how I appeared! The dress fitted me to near perfection. My curves were represented, my cleavage was plentiful and my legs looked killer. A look to be proud of.
We agreed to meet at a statue landmark in our city just outside the busy city centre. It was fantastic to see him again and was mystifying how he had changed in the few years I had not seen him, yet at the same time he was still the same Nate I knew back then. I felt I had barely changed, but I am sure he felt the same about himself as well. After the beginning hug and light introductory chit chat, we entered into the main streets of the city to begin our day.
The day started fairly slowly, we mostly just wandered around chatting and taking note of some of the new stores that popped up, which led to some window shopping or light perusing of the goods inside. Nothing too extraordinary or any purchases made till the sun’s heat had begun to get the best of us around midday and refreshments were quickly needed. I recommended a gelato place I had become fond of. It doubled up as a coffee shop and was relatively popular due to a “walk-through” that they had designed on the outside of the store where you could queue under a shaded area. There were also a few chairs and tables that you could sit or stand at after ordering. You could still eat and order inside of course, but the walk-through made it easier if the inside was full, which on this particular hot, sunny day it was.
We queued in the walk-through and eventually got our orders. Nate had ordered a simple cup of ice cream and a bottle of water, while I had chosen a large double stacked cone of ice cream and a coffee in a takeaway cup. My hands were full and Nate had made a remark at how silly I looked with the large items now in my hands. We walked around to see if there were any free tables available to take the weight off of our feet, but failed in this endeavour and simply walked around with our eyes glancing around everywhere. I started to feel my ice cream melt as we had roamed out of the shaded area back into the sun and as I tried to lick up a clump of melted cream, I felt a cold drip on my chest and slowly drip down the inside of my breast. Nate noticed and laughed.
“Yeah yeah funny, pass me a tissue.” I sniggered back.
“What tissues?” He responded. I stared at him blankly waiting for him to announce it was a joke and produce the tissues from his pocket. Neither happened.
“The tissues… They were at the counter of the walk-through? You’re supposed to take some because we’re eating ice cream?”
“Ohh was I? I thought you grabbed some.”
I felt a small rush of panic as it dawned on me we had no tissues and to make that rush even faster, a similar sized clump of ice cream dripped again from my hand onto my chest. I whined childishly as I was losing my ice cream and making a mess of myself. I looked around for somewhere to put down my coffee, but in my short search found nothing. I stood there, both hands full.
“Just… use your finger or something!” I ordered frantically.
“What?”
“Like, your finger to scoop it! It can’t just stay there, it’ll get all sticky and ruin my bra and dress!”
“Uhh..” Nate looked naturally hesitant at this point for what I was asking from him, I reassured him it was fine and I soon felt his finger lightly swiping away the near liquid cream from the inside of my cleavage. Feeling slightly relieved at this stage, I was able to breathe a little calmer as my friend brushed the messiness from myself and swiped away what he could from the lining of my bra. However, I failed to notice how loose the top stack of ice cream had become and was pretty much hanging on for dear life in the sun’s heat. I attempted to use one finger from my ice cream holding hand to readjust my bra strap, but in an utter catastrophe that ensued just after Nate was finishing with my cleavage, I felt a much larger, colder lump fall between my breasts.
I didn’t even look down, I simply froze and not from the cold that now started to slither down my chest. I looked at Nate just as either confirmation or reassurance on what I thought had happened. His response was just to stare at me and then burst out laughing, drawing some attention from close passers-by on this street side. I felt the blood rush to my cheeks and I turned to face a wall. Staring down, it was there. Most of my ice cream had fallen onto my chest, in my cleavage, starting to soak into my bra cups and I even felt it slowly begin to drip lower onto my stomach. My instinct was instant and I knew the area well and I bolted for the nearest public toilets trying my best to maintain hold on the objects in my hand and cover myself decently as I hurried.
The cold lingered on my body as I felt it in every nook and cranny. Thankfully, the toilets weren’t too far away and quickly peeking into the women’s, it was completely full. I retreated back, noticing the disabled toilet was vacant and promptly punted the door open causing it to swing and nearly hit me on its return as I entered. Just as I turned to close and lock the door, Nate appeared in front of me and before he could speak I grabbed his arm and pulled him in with me and then slammed the door shut.
“What are you doing? You made it look so much worse with your running and floundering about. Are we supposed to be here? I’m definitely not supposed to be with you somewhere like this.” Nate rattled on as I took the initiative of giving up on my fouling ice cream by throwing it into the sink and placed my coffee cup on the edge of the counter. I quickly began to take off my sundress and started to unclasp my bra before I noticed Nate’s bewildered look in the mirror.
“It’s fine. It’s all fine Nate! Just don’t stare for God’s sake. Go get some tissues from the stall!” I barked in my returned panicked state.
Nate sighed and followed my order and brought back a plethora of tissues. My bra was now off, joining my sundress on the counter for cleaning later. I stood in just my panties covering my breasts with my arm to at least give myself some decency. I instantly grabbed some tissue and began wiping away the liquid and stickiness of my chest.
“Ohh there’s so much and it’s so sticky! It tasted so good but it got all over me. I want more.” I muttered to myself while I wiped at my chest COMPLETELY in context!
Nate stood frozen next to me and there was still some on my stomach and sides that needed cleaning, perhaps running to the toilets was the worst thing to do as it just made the melted mess go everywhere. I turned my head to Nate. “Can you just clean my side or something? It’ll be done quicker then.”
Nate nodded, I noticed he was trying his best not to stare, but also not to laugh as he had in the streets. I’d remember this when he had an embarrassing moment of his own. He grabbed some tissues and began dabbing and wiping away at my sides and across my stomach. During this task, I felt an odd bump along my legs and hips. I only felt it when he moved and it was always around the same sort of height level. The first two times it happened, I blanked it, but it kept recurring. At first I thought it was his belt and when he went from crouched to standing, the same bump was felt all along my leg. My curiosity made my eyes turn from the mirror to his crotch area, looking for a belt buckle, but instead seeing a large protrusion acting as if it was about to break out of his zipper.
“Nate?!” I turned towards him squealing in surprise. But before Nate could defend himself, my elbow caught the large coffee cup I left on the counter as I turned, knocking it over and splashing its near full contents all over Nate’s jeans. Thankfully, it had cooled down at this point so it did not burn him, but still, it drenched his jeans. We both just stood in place as if time had stopped, almost hoping to wake up in our beds as if it was all a dream.
“I am so sorry.” I said with a shaky voice, now trying to hold in my own laughter unable to cover my mouth as I was using my hands to cover my breasts so I just had to bite my lip hoping that would suffice. Nate did not reply, only sighed and shook his head as the coffee cup innocently rolled and tapped his shoe.
I slowly rotated my body back towards the mirror in an attempt to clear myself of the crime and returned to wiping my own mess away. That was before I saw Nate taking off his jeans in the mirror causing me to flick back his way.
“Nate?! You can’t..” I tried to say before he cut me off.
“Ohh so you can, but I can’t? I need to clean myself now.”
It was true. His jeans were soaked through and even after removing them, his boxers were now a clearly a darker shade than they should be from how drenched they had become. His erection was now much more evident as it was standing proudly in the prison of his underwear. I was going to speak about it, but thought at this stage, did it really matter? Nate joined me at my side, throwing his jeans next to my clothes and taking a handful of tissues for himself.
I started to feel bad. Today was supposed to be a fun day of meeting an old friend and my complete clumsiness had spoiled that. I also couldn’t help but watch as he unsuccessfully attempted to clean himself. It was a poor try, he was barely even using water! So a mixture of feeling bad, frustration at his poor cleaning skills and just an overall wanting to get this over with. I took the tissues from his hands and dropped to my knees.
“Just get these off.” I said poking at his boxers. “They’re useless now and you shouldn’t walk around in them. Let’s just get cleaned up.” My voice was sincere as I looked up at him. We shared a smile and eventually a laugh.
“Are you sure? I am still…”
“Yes, I just won’t look.”
His boxers were quickly off and joined the sad pile of wet clothing on the counter. His erection still stood proud in my peripheral vision, but I did my best to keep my eyes on his legs and clean the coffee from his leg hair. Nate started his own work on his groin area, focusing his more intimate areas.
There was a short silence as we cleaned and my mind found itself reflecting on the events that transpired so far. I couldn’t help but smile and eventually broke out with a chuckle. “This is utterly insane. No one would believe this.”
“Ohh no of course not, you couldn’t even make up something like this.” He replied. The tension was now beginning to ease between them. Small laughter filled the room.
“I just wanted ice cream and coffee.” I pouted in a jokingly near crying voice.
“It was pretty good ice cream to be fair. You just shouldn’t put it down your clothes and eat it instead.”
We shared a small conversation with light back and forth remarks as we had when we first met a few hours ago. The panic and frustration had left the room and we were laughing and joking once again. In that time, I had pretty much cleaned most of my chest and his legs were as clean as they were going to get. Nate was still taking his time on the limited area he was working on. Idly wiping at his crotch area to not much success. There were still our clothes to sort out and we’d be getting nowhere if he kept this up so I made the bold move of turning his body towards me, and yes, his erection in front of my face.
“You’re taking too long. I told you, you need water! I asked for a lot of sugar and caramel syrup in that coffee so dry wiping won’t do anything.” I explained grabbing the last of our available tissues and spitting into them. I took a hold of his shaft and started to firmly stroke and rub it. Now, in my mind at this point in time, I was just cleaning and thought I was doing a damn good job! But in reality and what Nate was seeing and experiencing, I was giving him a handjob.
I focused on getting it done, even reapplying spit to some of the stickier areas. My subconscious tick of muttering while I was focused reappeared. “This bit is so long and hard, I can’t believe how sticky this is, almost done just a little faster.” Again, COMPLETELY IN CONTEXT!
Just as I was nearing the end of this endeavour, still stroking and muttering to myself, I saw a twitch from Nate’s body and an odd sound emerge from him. I thought at first I had hurt him. “Nate are you…?” I tried to ask before I felt a warm splatter across my face. And then another, and another as Nate’s moans filled the room. The splattering continued for a few more seconds and drippings from my face landed on my chest. My eyes were pretty much closed from the goo forcing them to shut, my cheeks felt slightly heavier and a slightly salty taste lingered on my lips. All I could do is kneel frozen in complete disbelief in the state I was now in. I was a complete mess again, now with sticky warm liquid instead of cold.
“I’m.. So sorry…” Nate moaned as he emerged at the end of his orgasm.
At the same time, I heard the door creak slightly open from behind me and an adult female voice spoke with a giggle. “Oops! I’ll give you two a few more minutes.” Before the door shut again. In my haste, I had completely forgotten to lock it and it’s another shock to how that was the first time we were intruded on. That’s where I will leave the story though. A tale of complete clumsiness and ridiculousness that resulted in many messes.
I hope you had fun reading it and please always have tissues and a spare hand ready when eating ice cream or you might end up with a bigger mess than you start with.
(Hope you enjoyed my story! Any feedback or criticism is welcome in the comments)
Source: reddit.com/r/Erotica/comments/11uqsxb/fictionalf27m27slapsticksillyfood_messhandjobbest
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