I have an overwhelming desire to give my everything, my body, my mind, my love, my being, to someone.
For better or for worst, I am unrelenting in my pursuit of strength, love and freedom. Despite it sometimes feeling like the antithesis of these values, I find myself constantly coming back to the idea of giving myself to another.
I have always kept this part of myself hidden. I thought perhaps if I start sharing, this increase my odds of finding my person. I think that’s what’s motivating this confession. I want to share something special, serve and worship, be loved and punished.
At times I feel toyed with by our probabilistic universe. My hidden desires and high standards resulting in a tortured abstinence. My vibrator only doing so much to satiate the urges to give in to someone, anyone. But I know my situation is unique, and not just anyone can satisfy the peculiar set of characteristics I’ve found myself hopelessly craving.
Somehow, the scenarios I’ve imagined for myself always just barely outweigh the temptation to lower my standards. What I would do to be properly spanked. To be tied up, trapped and powerless. To have my throat ruthlessly drowned by a cock. To be teased for hours and left soaking wet. To wrestle, test my strength, and squirm under you after you inevitably win. To get to a point where I can’t help but obey every single word you say. I want to beg for you to come inside me. I want you to deny me. I want to try everything with you, trust you completely, and fall asleep with you by my side.
I think this is something worth sticking around for. Maybe it’s time to take a leap. I am in college, surrounded by young, kind, and intelligent people, maybe it’s time I go out and look for some prospects.
This reads very deep and personal. It’s excellent. But don’t ever lower your standards.
Well done!
or join fetlife :-)
and find a Dom in your area
Very sensual confession, and sadly 90 percent of the time we lower our standard in attempt to feel that very void you are talking about. Very descriptive and hopefully you find that and are able to open all the doors to that guy to keep you 100 percent satisfied, not only physically and mentally as well.
I am blown away with joy at the supportive comments and the love I see. Such things make me happy to know and brings joy to my morning.
My only advice, take your time. A life partner is someone you will return to because they are a friend, lover, and there to see you grow. There will be people you meet either for a reason or a season, and few who will touch you in a way you can’t explain. After 40 years I can say that I have had the pleasure and honor to have enjoyed the time, company and grace of a few. The feeling of having the right union is one that can’t be explained but you will know when the experience happens. Its breathtaking well beyond the experience itself.
But I know the feelings you speak of from the other side. I have enjoyed that desire and passion, of having someone who wishes to be everything for me. I’d share my experience candidly if you wish, to help frame from a different point of view and see a different perspective.
Take the leap!
Ellie…look north…a cowboy just may be the prospect you need. Just saying..lol