My Stepdad Ate My Pussy (Part 1)

It was September of 1992, and I was a tall, blossoming freshman in high school. I was newly svelte and budding in all the right places.

My trashy yet attractive mother had recently acquired her third husband – my new stepdad – Rod, whom she’d met at the Billy Ray Cyrus concert back in July.

Rod was like most of the others – he sported a dirty blonde mullet and mustache, smoked Camels and drank Keystone Light. He was tall and lean from his job at UPS and when he was off the clock he drove a 84 Camaro.

My mom definitely had a type.

I, on the other hand, had just joined the school volleyball team and was all about the bumping. I loved the sweaty after school workouts and the way those tight, polyester booty shorts hugged my firm ass. But what I enjoyed even more was the raunchy locker room talks with the girls on the team.

For instance, several of the girls bragged about getting their cherries popped, and I couldn’t get enough of their stories about losing it at amazing places like the merry-go-round at the town park, in a truck cab at the Hardee’s or, most romantically on their parents’ water beds.

I could see a difference in the way those girls walked, talked and twerked their asses to Baby Got Back. I was so envious of them. When was it going to happen for me?!

But I was so disinterested in the boys my age and had zero sexual attraction to their pimpled, scrawny hairless bodies.

I needed something more.

And more is what I got on one unseasonably warm Friday afternoon in September.

Per usual, I got dropped off at our double wide after practice. Also as per usual, I was sweaty and thirsty AF.

When I walked inside I saw Rod on the brown velvet couch by himself drinking a Key Light watching a baseball game.

“Where’s my mom?” I asked.

“She and a couple girlfriends went up to the city for the weekend to get lower back tattoos” he replied.

The information didn’t surprise me. This was just like her. For years I had relied on alcoholic grandmas in the trailer park to get me to where I needed to go, so I didn’t feel abandoned or anything.

But it was a little weird sharing the trailer with this guy I barely knew. I was going to just have to make the best of it I thought to myself.

I plopped down on the couch next to him, eyed his beer and said “could I have one of those?”

He nodded. “Go get you one from the cooler outside.”

I happily obliged and returned to the couch with my ice cold beer. My first sip was both disgusting and refreshing at once.

Then I plugged my nose, threw my head back and took five huge gulps.

Rod looked at me sideways and I replied “I wanna catch a buzz.”

Fifteen minutes and three beers later, I was there.

My head felt woozy and suddenly I couldn’t stop staring at Rod.

The beer goggles made him much better looking than I ever realized, in his backwards ball cap with a gold chain peaking out of his plain white tee. He was still wearing his brown work shorts, which ironically looked better on him than the blue jean shorts he normally chose to wear.

He noticed me staring and said “you’re drunk, huh?”

I laughed and nodded my head.

Then he turned to me and asked if I wanted to watch something different on the TV.

“Sure” I replied.

With my eyes both dilated and fixated on him and the TV screen, I watched him walk up to the entertainment center, grab a VHS tape from one of the drawers, and pop it into the VCR.

Meanwhile, I was continuing to take big pulls of beer, feeling evermore confident and of course increasingly interested in all things Rod.

Within 30 seconds or so some 70’s style instrumental music projected from the TV and I began to understand we were not about to watch Jurassic Park.

A couple of Magnum PI looking dudes appeared on the screen along side a poor man’s Farrah Fawcett in a fancy dining room of a Southern California style home. They were drinking champagne and laughing and and toasting to “Making Money!” Next thing I knew the three of them were buck naked at the dining room table while the chick was taking turns deep kissing the two guys while each of her hands stroked a dick.

I immediately blushed when I realized what I was watching. At the same time a strong tingly feeling overtook my pelvic region.