The first time I saw him, I thought he was an off-duty cop. The second time I thought he was a private detective but by the third time I saw him, I knew he was neither. He was dressed in what I thought was a suit, but turned out to be a wrinkled, ratty thing that had seen better days.His shoes were scuffed and dirty, and his collar was askew.
He had a moustache so large it could give Colonel Mustard a run for his money, and a goatee that made him look like a lumberjack. I wondered if he shaved his legs, because they were covered in a sheen of sweat even in the shade of the trees.”Hello, miss,” he said, wiping his forehead with his hand. “You must be the new owner of this fine property.”
What a strange thing to say. “Why do you say that, sir?””Well, you know the old saying: property and poo-poo.I mean, you’ve got to have one to get the other. It’s the law of the jungle.”I had heard that phrase often enough, I thought, to know it by heart. But it wasn’t a saying I would use myself.
Not that I had any right to judge, of course. I was no better than he was.”Yes, I do know the old saying,” I said, resisting the urge to roll my eyes. “But what do you mean by ‘p oo-poo’? Is that a euphemism for something unsavory? “No, ma’am. It’s the truth”.
You can ask any of the staff here. I’m a stickler for the truth, you know.I don’t like to see people get away with lies. It gives me a headache.”He had a point there. I didn’t like it when people pretended I was something I wasn’t. That was why I was careful with my words and actions when I was in public. It was easier to be quiet and let people think what they wanted than to argue with them.
So, yes, I am the owner of this fine establishment. “He paused, as if he was waiting for me to say something. I didn’t know what to say. My mouth went dry as a bone and my tongue stuck to the roof of my mouth. Finally, I said, “Thank you, sir.” That was all I could manage.
Source: reddit.com/r/Erotica/comments/zgkbtb/the_grubby_thornhill