The wind picked up from the west adding big, fat drops of collected rain from the trees to the lighter rain in the air as we walked towards his car. He reached around me, opened the door and waited as I climbed in, then securely closed it. I pulled the seatbelt across myself as he walked to the drivers’ side and got in. He would still reach over and check that my belt was latched before moving the car, but buckling it myself was a small freedom afforded to me.
“It’s not that I think you’re incapable,” he said the first time he checked, “It’s just that it’s my job to keep you safe and I have to be sure.” He said it with great charm and then pulled my mouth to his and kissed me in a way that pushed all intelligent thought from my mind.
The car rolled forward and we were on our way. In the months we had been together, Sir had been the source of many new experiences, experiences I sought out, but often found myself ill-prepared for. Sir loved to be my guide, my mentor, my protector pushing me to greater heights of pleasure and intimacy. He smiled and took my hand in his as we wound our way through the city. He knew I was nervous and stilled the tremble in my hand with a soft kiss, “Breathe, love. I will be with you the whole time.”
I nodded my head while the pit in my stomach sunk a little lower. I had just gotten use to consciously giving over control, the thought that I wouldn’t be able to pull it back as easily as using a safe word put me on the edge of panic.
“Breathe,” he said again and I took a slow, deep breath.
We arrived at the Center for the Healing Arts, Sir opened the door, and a rush of warm eucalyptus and burnt sage scented air greeted us. Inside, the lights were blue-green and dim. A bit overwhelmed, I hung back as Sir approached the registration desk and checked us in. Again, he took my hand, this time leading me back to the room where the ceremony would take place. The room was round with mats and pillows laid out in two concentric circles, on the far side of the circle were three sets of double mirrors. The mirrors seemed out of place until we walked across the room and Sir slid open the far left mirror, revealing a small chamber laid out with a large plush mat, several pillows in different shapes and sizes, and soft blankets.
We stepped inside, Sir closed the door, and I turned to realize the mirrors were 1-way mirrors, allowing us to see the room and screens just outside. Music and ambient sound from the outer room was piped in through speakers.
“I thought we could use the privacy,” he said with a knowing smile while tipping my chin up to kiss him. “Come,” he said unbuttoning my wool jacket, sliding it off my shoulders, and hanging it on a hook.
“So, do we just lay down?”
“No, it’s kind of like getting a massage, we take off our clothes and get under the sheets.”
I stepped out of my low-heels and began removing my clothes, looking back at the mirror and wondering how truly invisible we were to the people gathering in the circles outside. Sir was already undressed and under the sheets. I went to climb in still wearing my bra and panties, saw a slight sideways shake of his head, and stopped and removed them before sliding in next to him. There were clearly two spots laid out on the mat, but Sir reached over and pulled me to his side.
“Hey, I know this is scary for you. It means a lot to me that you’re willing to try it,” he whispered, his kind eyes searching my face, his lips finding mine, his tongue gently opening my mouth into a deep kiss that sent shivers down my spine. A few years his senior, I was raised in the say-no-to-drugs 80s and internalized that doing any kind of illicit drug would lead to ruin, whether that be jail or insanity. My experience with substances was limited to trying marijuana twice during a particularly rebellious phase in my early 20s. Having a parent with serious mental illness, I never wanted to tempt fate, but here I was in the arms of my Dom, my pussy growing wet as he kissed me deep, waiting for our guides to bring us our doses of ayahuasca. He was distracting me from my worry and grounding me in my senses as we kissed and he ran his fingers through my hair, gently stroking my back with his other hand.
“I’ve got you, baby,” he said and my heart melted along with my tension. We lay curled together for about 20 minutes as the room outside filled with people, each taking their place in the circle.
Eventually, a guide came by, softly knocking before sliding the door open, and delivered two cups with traditionally prepared ayahuasca. Once all of the cups had been distributed, the lights dimmed further, gentle rhythmic music played softly in the background, and the lead guide spoke softly of intentions and opening ourselves to receive what we need from the universe.
“I’m going to wait a few minutes to take mine, so if you need me, I’m here,” Sir said, handing me my cup. I stared at the concoction for a long moment before pressing the cup to my lips and drinking it all down. “Remember, you can always open your eyes and you’ll see that you’re right here.”
I settled into my spot, closed my eyes and waited. I was almost asleep when I suddenly began to feel like I was falling. Rushing backward, faster and faster, I started to panic, my breathing becoming rapid, panicked tears streaming down my face.
“I’m falling! I can’t stop, I’m falling! Sir!”
All at once, I could smell him and feel the warmth of his body surrounding me.
“Open your eyes, baby, I’m right here. I’m here to catch you. You’re okay.”
With great effort, I pulled my eyes open and saw his face. I clutched him tight to me but made the mistake of closing my eyes again, felt the falling, and the panic picked back up.
“Baby, hey, look at me. I’m right here. You’re safe. Take some slow deep breaths.”
I followed his lead, and began to calm, but the second my eyes would close he’d disappear, everything around me would swirl, and the panic would rise. We went through the same cycle several times before Sir whispered into my ear, “Love, do you need to suck?”
Arousal, need, and embarrassment shot through me. I had sucked his cock for comfort many times, but it was always at home curled on our couch watching TV or between the soft cotton sheets of our bed. I felt, again, the same shyness I felt the first time I took his already spent cock in my mouth and sucked gently. That first time, he was surprised, but soon relaxed into the pleasure of my mouth slowly suckling him. Falling asleep suckling him had become an almost nightly ritual, one that connected us at a deep level and never failed to calm me. But, here we were in a public place and I felt shame that a grown woman would want or need something so primal.
Feeling my hesitancy, Sir shifted himself up on our mat, gently pulled my head close to him, stroked my hair, and softly commanded, “Suck, baby. You need it. Suck.”
I had been forcing my heavy eyes to stay open, but the moment I pulled him into my mouth and began rhythmically sucking, my lids fell shut. Only, this time, there was no falling. Just peace and connection, deeper than I had ever felt. We were one. We breathed and pulsed together. I was tethered to the world through him.
On the edge of my awareness, I could hear a slow, deep moan escape from his lips. Usually, suckling happened after Sir had already cum, but no such preparations had occurred and his dick hardened and grew in my mouth. I tasted the salt of his precum flow across my tongue and I tilted my head back to make more space for him. I knew every curve and ridge of his cock by feel and traced them with my tongue. Pulling him back into my mouth, I sucked slowly and felt the easing of a deep ache. Tears flowed softly down my cheeks as I allowed myself to fully feel and accept my need for him. For so long I had held myself tightly together. Independent and fierce, as I had always had to be to survive, I couldn’t afford this kind of need, this kind of vulnerability. But here it was, full force. For the first time in my life, I let myself relax into it, gave myself over to it, as I felt Sir stiffen and flood my mouth with his cum.
As he went soft, I was able to pull more of him into my mouth and suck, my need remaining without the slow burn of anxiety in my chest. I have no idea how long we laid there, time lost all meaning. I remember, faintly, feeling him swell and cum again, the salt of ancient oceans spilling down my throat, before the ayahuasca faded and we returned to our waking selves.
Sir was unusually quiet as we dressed and walked to the car. This time when he opened the door, I climbed in and he leaned down and pulled the seat belt across me, clicking it in place before closing the door and walking to the drivers’ side. Shame settled on my chest as I wondered if this change was because of my panic, because I couldn’t handle ayahuasca without him. I thought I had made a breakthrough in allowing myself to need another person, but here was my vulnerability being used against me. I turned my face to the window and tried to keep from crying for the third time in the same day.
We drove home in silence and walked into the house the same way, each lost in our own thoughts. I took off my jacket, Sir reached to take it to hang it up, and I snapped.
“I can hang my own jacket up! I’m not a helpless child. Just because I—” and I froze mid-sentence. A tear was streaking down Sir’s face.
“Sir, what’s wro—” but before I could finish my words, he pulled me tightly into his arms. One arm around my waist, the other cradling my head to his chest, I could hear his heart beating wildly while he pulled deep, jerky breaths into his lungs. I wrapped my arms around him, my world gone sideways a bit. I had never seen him cry before. When he was more calm, his arms relaxed enough that I could pull my head back and look at him. His eyes were closed and there was a pained expression on his face. I reached up and gently wiped his tears away.
“Jon, what’s wrong?” I asked, softly.I hadn’t used his name outside of vanilla settings in a long time, but, in that moment, it felt right. He took my hand that was still resting on his cheek, kissed the palm, flattened it on his chest over his heart, and then opened his eyes to look at me.
“Do you have any idea how much I love you? What it means to me to know that I have the ability to calm you?”
My face blushed and tears sprang to the corners of my eyes. Before I could explain my outburst, he continued, “I wanted that experience with you because, as much control as you have learned to yield to me, I knew you were holding back. I just… I didn’t know that I was holding back, too. I buckled you into the car because you are so very precious to me. I don’t know what I would do if something happened to you. I realized today that as much as you need me, I need you.”
This time it was me catching him. Me stilling his trembling hands. Through surrender, I led him and, together, we found strength in our vulnerability.
Source: reddit.com/r/Erotica/comments/y7ouf9/im_here_to_catch_you_gentle_dom_cock_worship_cock