Closing time at the Ferryman [humour][halloween porn][skeleton/ghoul monster sex][warning – its just monsters having sex – it gets weird!]

I’ve been coming to the Ferryman for years. It’s pretty rundown but it’s a popular hang out for those of us who go bump in the night and the humans who like to bump with us.

Not that I was getting much of that action. Like pretty much every monster bar the vampires had taken the place over and ruined the atmosphere. Don’t get me wrong some of my best friends are vampires but they’ve got that whole supernatural brooding sexy ‘look at my silk shirt and perfect skin I’m so sad I’m immortal and have superpowers’ thing going on. I’m not sure they even qualify as monsters. ‘Oh I drink blood and have cute little fangs but am basically a supermodel in a leather jacket.’ Give it a rest! Just as bad as werewolves. Some of us are monsters 24/7!

A vampire could get laid in a convent and a lot of them do so why ruin things for the rest of us? How are we supposed to compete? Some hot monster curious goth in a tight black t shirt of a band I’ve never heard of comes in here are they going to be looking at me or the anemic pin up in the latex catsuit? No prizes for guessing I’m going home to my crypt alone again for some quality time with my own cold claws

As a ghoul I’m not even that different from a vampire although that makes it worse somehow. If I was some tentacled behemoth I’d at least have a chance with the hentai crowd but no I’m a ghoul. The janitors of the undead set. We get a lot of bad press.

I’ve got a perfectly good body. Several actually in case I get hungry later. Little bit of ghoul humour there but seriously I do look pretty good. I know that because unlike some people I can see my reflection. Sure my teeth are more like a waste disposal system than those pathetic little fangs vamps have and maybe I do drool a little but seriously who wants retractable fangs? Might as well be human. I’ve got a lot more to offer.

I’ve been working on it and I’ve got excellent control of my bite reflex now. There were a couple of unfortunate incidents but that was in the past. Oral sex is definitely back on the table I just have to remember to eat first.

I’m pale but in a sickly blotchy grave mould way. Somehow vampires make the no sun lifestyle look good. Maybe it’s the liquid diet but honestly I think it’s mostly concealer.

And I admit my breath can be off putting, there is only so much toothpaste can do. And my claws are… well.. prominent..and my arms are a little longer than you might be expecting. All right I’m a monster but I’m proud of it. You don’t see me sneaking around at night trying to act human.

I look around the bar. Damian is putting Carmina Burana on the jukebox again. How am I supposed to dance to that?

It’s getting early and the humans are pairing up with the vamps and leaving. I sigh resignedly then I see the lagoon beast leaving with a blonde cutie wearing a swim team hoodie. Seriously the lagoon beast? What am I doing wrong?

Another thing about vampires is the way they dress. Why so much black leather? It’s not a BDSM club guys!

Although tonight I made an effort. I’m dressed up. Clean..ish..skirt..my stockings don’t have many holes and my boots are ..sturdy. I washed, disinfected. I’m wearing my lucky Celine Dion T shirt (don’t you dare judge). No bra. I am supernaturally pert and don’t pretend you weren’t looking.

Then I see her. Luce. Luce the Liche. She’s at the bar drinking a Pina colada. Given that Luce is basically a skeleton in a black cocktail dress I’m not sure exactly where the drink is going.

Luce gets laid less often than I do. You might think it’s her total lack of genitals but it’s actually mostly her personality. She can’t resist joking about flirting with death or how black is slimming and the constant boner jokes are just exhausting.

Luce is usually the last to leave the bar. Kind of sad. She’s a monster out of time. She should be wreaking havoc in the vanguard of an evil wizards army but there just isn’t much call for that these days.

I look around. It’s near closing time. Just me, Luce and Igor behind the bar.

I mop the drool from my muzzle and walk over to Luce. Creatures like me come to the Ferryman to hook up with humans not other monsters. There’s something about being close to all that life and warmth that is just intoxicating. Luce just does not have that but it’s almost closing time……can we say desperate?

“It’s dead in here tonight.” Says Luce. “I can’t believe I’m going to have to polish my own pelvis again tonight. What’s wrong with people?”

Luce has a really sexy voice. Husky and feminine like an old time movie star. Maybe she was. In contrast my voice is a damp rasp like the stone seal sliding off a crypt.

“Humans just want a monster with more meat on their bones.” I say

“Are you body shaming me?!” Jokes Luce.

“Hey I’m going home alone too.”

“It’s those goth bait vampires. They can bite me!”

“Well actually….”

Luce gives me a look. Her skull cocked to one side. She has fangs. I’d never noticed that before. She sees me staring.

“Hey my eye sockets are up here.”

I can’t believe I’m about to suggest this but I hear the words come out.

“Mutual pity fuck?”

If Luce turns me down I’m going sunbathing. Thankfully she finishes her drink and stands up.

“Thought you’d never ask.”

We go back to Luce’s place. She sublets an apartment in a converted haunted house. Four poster bed. Creepy portraits on the wall. Suit of armor in the corner. I’m jealous.

Luce is all over me as we close the door. Pulling my shirt up over my greenish white breasts her bony claws sliding up my prominent ribs ( not as prominent as hers ) in a ticklish caress. Her hands frame my breasts before trailing inwards to tease my stiff dark nipples. My nipples are desperately hard and it’s only partly because of the ghostly chill in the air.

Luce’s pointed bony claw traces around each of my areolae in a delicate pattern. Her femur presses up between my legs and I grind involuntarily against her. When she lowers her leg the yellowish bone is wet with my fluids. I kiss her my thin lips compressing against her skull. I pull down her dress and hook my fingers in her ribcage.

“Uhh…Luce..I’m totally into this but..uh..how does this work for you?”

“If you let me I can take what you feel.” Says Luce. I have no idea what she means.

Luce’s nimble fingers have my skirt off. I’m in just my boots and stockings. I bend to pull my boots off and I feel Luce’s hand between my legs from behind parting the lips of my sex and smearing the wetness up against my frantic aching clit. Her touch is cold and hard and exact. Those boney points surround my clit easing back the wet fleshy hood exposing me to her precise twirling finger.

Oh this is going to happen embarrassingly quickly.

I hear Luce laugh as I spasm against her fingers. Still bent over I grab the bed frame for support as I feel myself tip over the edge pushed to orgasm by Luce’s icy touch.

But then nothing. Instead I hear Luce sob in orgasmic anguish. I turn my head and see her skeletal form jerking. I realise she has stolen my orgasm. I didn’t know she could do that. It’s kind of hot. Then I get another suprise. Fluid manifests from nowhere and splatters thickly and coldly across my back.

“What was that?!” I yelp in shock.

Luce’s voice is strained like she’s breathing hard. A trick for someone with no lungs.

“Ectoplasm.” She pants “Doesn’t that happen to you?”

She stands behind me as I straighten up. She’s shorter than me. I feel her ribs pressing my back. She takes my hands in her own. Her skeletal claws cover my own pallid long fingered hands and she presses one hand between my own legs.

“Make yourself cum for me.” She whispers in my pointed ear ” I might let you have this one.”

I masturbate obediently her hand over mine learning the way I like to be touched. I was being dommed by Luce the Liche. She was a barroom joke but right then I wouldn’t have exchanged her touch for anything.

I climax again but this time she let’s me feel it all and I fall backwards on to the bed. Luce follows me. Her skull goes between my mottled green white thighs. I tense but nothing happens. She looks up from between my legs.

“I don’t have lips or a tongue. What made you think I’d be good at oral?” She says sarcastically.

“I’m good at it, really good.” I offer.

“So I’ve heard Miss bite it off.”

“That happened maybe twice!” I protest. Luce shrugs pointing at the yellowing bone of her pelvis.

“Nothing for you there anyway. I don’t have any nerve endings.”

“But if someone was going down on me you could get off on that?”

She paused wondering what I had in mind. I’m sure she was hoping I had some hot blonde cheerleader locked away somewhere. The truth was more embarrassing and not something I usually share.

Ghouls are really flexible with long tongues and cute muzzles…

Before I can change my mind I roll on to my back and swing my legs over my head. My mouth presses against the straining mound of my sex.

It’s not the first time I’ve done this but it is the first time I’ve had company when I go down on myself.

Luce groans with suprise and delight.

“Why do you ever leave the house?!” She says adding to my embarrassment but I don’t stop.

I soon have her squirting ectoplasm across the sheets.

She unexpectedly gives me back control as I am riding out the aftershocks of my self induced orgasm. It’s a weird sensation. Luce is grinning. Well she is always grinning but this time I feel it’s on purpose like she’s pulled this trick before.

Luce climbs on top of me. She’s suprisingly heavy. I spread my legs a little giving her boney fingers access as she vigerously works me to the edge and over. No teasing just getting me there as fast as she can. I’m shocked at how easily she can get me to climax. She let’s me have this orgasm. I howl. It’s not exactly the eldritch hunting cry of the ghoul but I bet it causes a few sleepless nights if any humans hear me.

I look at Luce. Her skeleton body is wet with ectoplasmic discharge. She isn’t the most expressive creature but I think she looks smug and sated. I am exhausted in a good way. We lay together on the big four poster bed in the darkness. Luce’s arm lays rather possessively across my naked chest and I’m surprised I rather like it there.

The sex was incredible. Selfishly I hope no one else realises how good she is. I don’t want to share. I wonder why she’s been going home alone every night.

“Once you go bone you never want to go home.” She whispers triumphantly as if reading my mind. I roll my eyes but I still snuggle tighter against her hard narrow form.

She’s not wrong.

Source: reddit.com/r/Erotica/comments/y4hkma/closing_time_at_the_ferryman_humourhalloween