******Trigger Warning*** The following is a violent story of an assault and its aftermath. Proceed at your own risk.***
It had been four months since my husband died. I don’t remember much of those four months. I had been living in a haze since the moment Captain Frank, who was like a father to me and my husband, stood on my doorstep and told me Sam had gone MIA. Which, with the cartel he was working on, meant he was dead and buried somewhere in the desert. We had a funeral with an empty casket. Everything was taken care of by the department since Sam and I had no one to call family other than the precinct. Nolan Winters, my husband’s partner, had supported me throughout these months.
He brought food and groceries. He took care of the house and payments. He was a bit older than my husband and unmarried. Other than my colleagues at the hospital, he was my only friend. The captain and the officers never showed up once to talk with me after the funeral. So much for family. The first couple of months, I was catatonic. I had taken an extended leave at the hospital and Nolan showed up every day after his shift with food and we would have dinner together. Then, I had to start going back to work. They didn’t care. Two months was more than enough pity period in their book and without Sam, I had bills to pay.
Nolan still showed up every Sunday and we had lunch. Last week, everything was going well. I had a few beers in me and I had forgotten about Sam for a few hours, when Nolan kissed me. I was stunned. We were on the dining table, there was no one in the house besides us. I didn’t return the kiss nor did I stop him. I waited for him to finish. Which he did and then apologized. I told him it was okay but he couldn’t that do that again. He said he wanted me. When I remained silent, I saw him fist tighten. I was afraid for a moment but he just said that he understood and left right away. I wanted to stop him and explain but I couldn’t.
I felt awful. I knew he had always had a crush on me. I thought about the way he used to look at me when he and Sam would have dinner with us before they left for their shifts. Sam would encourage me to dress more conservatively when he was around. I should’ve known it would come to this. I leaned on him too much. Still, I didn’t want to lose him like this. I had to try to fix things. I hoped to talk to him today when he comes for lunch but he didn’t. I texted him. “We need to talk. Please, we can’t leave it like this.”
He came around three in the afternoon. I could smell he had started the party early without me. Still, I poured him a drink and set the table. He was on the couch and I stood before him and spoke that I valued our friendship and that he was the only friend that I had. I told him we could go back to the way it was and forget last Sunday. He stood up and took a step towards me. And another step. I stepped back. He didn’t say a word which scared me. He pinned me against the wall between his arms. He put a hand to my waist. I was wearing a light yellow sundress. “I want you, Hannah. I can’t go on like this.” He said before he kissed me and his other hand moved over my breast. I was squirmed and turned my face away. He didn’t stop. “Nolan, please. Don’t…” He moved the blonde hair covering my neck so he could kissed me there. I put a hand to his chest to push him. He swatted it away and moved closer, crushing me with his body. I was starting to hurt and his hands squeezed my body harder. “Nolan Stop!” I mustered enough courage and strength to push him away.
He stepped back fuming and looking me up and down. I was fixing my dressed and my hair when out of nowhere, *blam!* He punched me right in the face. Everything went black for a moment and I fell to floor. My vision became hot and filled with red in my left eye. I felt him grab my ankle and pull. He was dragging me. My voice was weak. My arms waved around above my head, trying to hold on to something. My sundress gathered around my waist, revealing my thighs up to my white panties, as he dragged me across my home. I was still recovering from that punch. My vision red from my own blood. My hands found purchase with the foot of the coffee table. He yanked my leg forcefully. “LET. IT. GO!” He said with clenched teeth. I held on tighter. My body twisted to hold the table’s leg with both my hand. He let go of my leg and leaned to me. He grabbed the back of my head and slammed it against the floor. My grip loosened but he didn’t relent. He slammed my face to the floor a few more times and turned me up to face him. He grabbed the neck of my sundress and pulled me up and assaulted my face till I was barely conscious. My grip gave. I got dragged once again. The blood from my face left a trail from the coffee table to my bedroom.
I looked up at him from the floor of my bedroom, my vision was just the size of a pinhole. He bolted the door and started to unbutton his shirt. “Please, Nolan…” I pleaded vainly, coughing and wheezing. I crawled under my bed. I saw his pants drop to the floor from the darkness under the bed. His underwear followed. His nude legs came closer, covering the light. Then he grabbed me once again by my ankles and pulled me out into the light. He was huge and well-built. He had a lot of hair in his body, unlike my husband.
He came down beside me and lifted my sundress to my chest. He put his hands between my thighs. I was crying and repeating “no, no, no, no, no…” like a mantra. He pulled my panties almost down to my knees before I closed my legs tightly together. At which, he simply yanked and ripped it away. Which left a red streak in my thighs. He then tried to separate my legs. I used my whole strength to keep them together and resisted for a while but he got angry and kicked me in the hips. The pain was white hot and I, once again, gave up.
He parted my legs to get in between them. He laid on top of me, kissing and sucking my body. He tore my dress at the neckline to reveal my breasts. He buried his face in them, biting and abusing them till I felt his penis poke my thigh. “I’ve wanted you for so long, Hanns. You’re mine now, Hannah.” His voice struggled as he forced himself into me without warning. I screamed as he pushed into me. “You’re mine now.” He repeated as I screamed in pain. My screams echoed throughout the house.
Nolan’s hands wrapped around my throat and choked, snuffing the sounds of screams. He was thrusting in and out of me with a violence now. He was close, I felt him pulsate inside of me and sensed the way his body clenched up to pierce mine. I still screamed for mercy despite him crushing my vocal chords. The sound was throaty and coarse. My face was a mosaic of red, purple and black. I felt myself on the verge of blacking out when he unloaded inside of me. His hot semen felt disgusting and soothing, I felt filled up and felt the hotness leak out of me and down my bruised legs. He relaxed his grip on my throat and rested on top of me for the longest time. He recovered his breath and senses before he slithered off of me.
He stood up. He seemed mighty and powerful from where I was. “Sam couldn’t protect you after all.” he said with a smirk, out of breath and full of sweat. What he said broke me. I started to cry all over again, recovering on the floor. My whole body hurt and was covered in the marks of Nolan’s assualt. I curled up into a ball. Nolan walked into the bathroom. I heard him pee and clean himself. I stayed still on the floor. He came back and dressed up with his eyes fixed on me. Something had changed. He seemed apologetic now. He crouched beside me when he was done dressing up. He sighed, “I never wanted it to be like this. But it couldn’t have been any other way, can it?” He held my chin and moved my face to inspect the damage he had done. “I’ll be in the dining table.” he said and stood up. He unlocked the door and blurred out of my red vision. Out the small opening of the door, I saw the trail of my own blood again, leading from the coffee table.
I mustered enough strength to get on my knees and lift myself up, holding on to the bed. My legs were weak. My body was weak. I made my way to the bathroom, holding on to the wall. It was painful to walk. I saw myself in the mirror. My dress torn, leaving my breasts exposed, covered in teeth marks and hand prints. I covered them with my torn dress and a pin. I tied my blonde hair soaked red from my bed, up in a bun. I held back tears and shuddered as I saw my own face, I can’t cover it up however I might try. The wounds were still fresh. I heard Nolan outside my room in the kitchen. I went to him. He was on the dining table, like he said, with a bottle of beer in his hands. The food I had prepared was cold. I made him a plate and set it in the microwave.
I watched the plate spin and thoughts came rushing in. He was the only other man I had been with other than Sam. How Sam couldn’t protect me after all. I wondered what he meant by that. The microwave dinged. I served the plate to him and walked away to clean myself but he grabbed my wrist. “Eat with me.” he said. I swallowed and nodded. I made myself a plate and sat opposite to him. He started to eat. “This is good.” he said with a guilty smile.
“Th-thank you.” I muttered out. My face was still bloodied and full of bruises. My throat was black with his hand print. It hurt when I ate. I started to cry again. He looked at me and continued to eat the food I had made for him. When he was done, he walked to fridge grabbed himself another beer and one for me. He opened it and placed it on the table while I cried.
“Drink.” he ordered and went into my room. I did as he said. He came out with a first aid kit. He turned my face to meet his. He cleaned the cuts and the blood. It stung and I hissed but he worked on without a care. Finally, he was done. My gaze still met his and he met mine. He pinched my lower lip between his thumb and knuckle and yanked it. There was cut there, I felt it sting as he ran his thumb over it. He pushed his thumb into my mouth and pulled it out again. “You’re still beautiful, Hannah.” He kissed me again and kissed me on my cuts and bruises. He left me on the dining table. I heard the door shut as he left the house and then his car drive away.
I finished my beer and cleaned up the plates and the table after him. I cleaned the house and the broken things. I cleaned the trail of blood and then the pool that had formed in my bedroom. I moved the coffee table back in place and got out of my torn dress. I threw the dress and my ripped panties in the bin. Finally, when the house was good again, I stepped into the shower. I watched the water get brown with my blood and swirl into the drain. I stood there for a long time and repeated what Nolan said over and over. *Sam couldn’t protect you after all.* There was something about the way he said it.
I got out of the shower and dried myself, dabbing the towel lightly against my hurt body. I was bruised and hurt everywhere. I already looked into the makeup I’d have to wear tomorrow into work. I wore some soft pink pajamas and got into bed. My bed ached and soothed at the same time. My sleep took over me quickly with just one thought left in my head. *Sam couldn’t protect me after all.*
Source: reddit.com/r/Erotica/comments/umtxxa/love_and_anger_noncon_violence_blood