OUT OF THE FIRE

My document started in “dark mode” as my first page opened online. Quickly, I mouthed out a few words to test the waters of my new found portal and spoke the word, “sex” into the microphone of the cell phone. Like much of my life, I always started in dark mode.

Different from the rest of the people, my place was at the bottom, scrambling with my fingers outstretched reaching for answers constantly through my 18 years of aging. Digging to climb out of the world I was born in, my life was going to be different some day. I can’t believe it started changing with just a single device, a cell phone.

“Charlie’s” the name, by the way, but only Rebecca calls me this…because I like it. Rebecca was my best friend growing up in the compound underneath the ground and we had decided years ago, “Charlie suited me better.” Everyone else calls me “Dinah,” a biblical name of which I despise.

A titillating new device, a cell phone with data, way out in the woods, now rested in my hands. Rebecca had found it one day while she was cleaning at her house. Our homes consisted of a large, remote, fenced off area in the country, where electronics and anything worldly was not allowed. A phone was a whole new world that had no boundaries to our small lives. No Internet or phones came anywhere near here, except now. We had found the leader’s phone, Rebecca’s dad. Our homes were mostly in underground, solitary confinements and spread among the thick trees, hardly to be seen. The “Commanders,” the selected men of the group, were always improving them, creating new boundaries and keeping up fences to keep others out. The outside world rarely came within our perimeters.

Speaking of boundaries, now here again…I was testing my boundaries. We had to move quickly on our new found electronic friend, as it sat soothingly in my hand. I typed in the word, “sex positions.” Waiting and wanting to know more about what I could see, while Rebecca huddled over my shoulder trying to see. The phone surfaced images and words I had never seen before I found the Internet. I entered my questions rapidly, brushing the glass surface awkwardly with my fingers into the superhighway of the Internet of the wireless phone.

These were startling images, something I had never seen before in my small world. I cradled it and wanted to have more. Like a thirsty animal tasting the first sips of water on a hot day, I scanned the information. There had to be more out there about this new pinnacle of a word, sex.

Rebecca had turned it on and showed me how to move around in this brave, expansive, new world. She was a professional at it after finding it a few weeks ago, but would not press the envelope, like me and look up things like “sex.” She had already found the world of the web weeks ago in the top drawer of her father’s chest of drawers. I had not seen any of it ever and she was now showing me what she found under the covers of her soft bed. The light from the phone shone on our faces as we left the confines of the underground fortress through an unforeseen trap door, the World Wide Web.

The bunker couldn’t be the only place, the only rules out there, after seeing the stimulating scenes that filled the pixels on the device. My inner thighs got warm and the tip of my lady button surged with electricity for a quick moment as I watched a man place his penis right next to a woman’s bottom on the screen. He was about to do something with it. I had barely seen my own areas in much detail because mirrors were not allowed in the camp…now this was exciting.

Knowing mirrors were not allowed, vanity was not accepted there. So this was a treat. In response to the feeling between my legs, I slipped one hand down along-side my body so Rebbeca wouldn’t hopefully notice. I needed to press on the folds of my skin and soothe the awakening in me. Fumbling gently, my dress was impeding my progress for a moment.

Finally, I found the distinct fabric of my underwear and I glanced at Rebecca. Her eyes were wide and giddy looking at the screen, not me. She hadn’t even noticed my right hand’s recent exploration under my dress. She wouldn’t care but I didn’t want to be caught getting aroused. I plunged my three fingers over the top of myself and found just the spot needing attention. It felt wonderful to have someone breathing next to me and watching the sins of the world flash before our eyes and my hand beneath my clothes.

It was obvious. I did not fit in here. Somewhere I would, I could fit in, I just knew it. Even among the bunker families there were ranges of rules to be followed…and broken. So few women broke the rules in our little society, but I was one of them, a borderline outcast. The fringe boys or girls were quickly banished or brought into submission. No in between. I had no idea where the banished kids went, but it sounded far. I was on the fringe, locked into submission, for now.

Thinking back over my childhood and now eighteen, I was still stubbornly fighting the submission of the camp and the regular flesh lashings when I misbehaved. I had a warped mental psyche to prove it. Thinking of even the recent spankings with the fresh willow stick across my bottom, pain had an interesting place in my life. I somehow found a way to enjoy the pain of a whipping by now. I was in control of my mind, iif not my environment.

Now, as I watched the delightful sexual experiences roll on the screen with Rebecca under the blankets next to me, our hot breath reverberating, the thoughts of being spanked and rubbing myself brought such pleasure. I had control right now in this moment.

As I considered my upbringing, thinking of the children latching to the legs of their hosts, sex, was an obvious part of the culture here. There should be nothing wrong with it. I thought of all the sex that must have happened in the compound, as I wandered back to the rows church pews of the tri-weekly church services, in my mind. People were having sex here.

Families everywhere with fathers that passed in between the women as they pleased. Their communal living had flourished over time, in their eyes. I thought it was deplorable, no freedom for women, only men. Generations sat submerged in this lifestyle. I was one of them, trapped…for now.

My life in a bunker was apparently not normal compared to the interesting new world seen on the Internet. It was my first few times to find out more about the online world and my face flushed with heat of anticipation for sex and leaving someday.

The video had ended, white stuff drizzled down the cheek bone of the lady’s face and Rebecca let out moans of disgust. I however wondered what it tasted like. I brought my hand up quickly out of my dress, hoping she didn’t notice my absent hand. I pressed and pecked at the letters of the virtual keyboard again. Rebecca had shown me how to use the phone when we snuck out together the last few times, but we had never looked up sex together until tonight. I was a rapid learner. Surely her father would be home soon and I would have to be getting home.

The light of the fire reached out on the adjacent wall glittering on the metal wall, reminding me that I only had a few more moments of solitude with Rebecca left. The rest of her family would be home, not the wiser to our stowing away in the blankets together. Later, I would learn to call it, “Internet Surfing.”

We both huddled under a familiar, velour blanket, each keeping an ear tilted to every slight sound inside the bunker trying to not get caught using the cell phone. After all the word, “sex” had proven quite informative, as we just finished watching a couple sporadically hump like animals on the screen only to finish in a sloppy climax of wetness on her face.

All I could think of is there had to be a way out of the compound to see more of this behavior and lifestyle. Sexual conversations were taboo here, yet the act of it was rampant and hidden everywhere. I knew it because I heard it.

Years ago the decision was made in my mind, the outside world had beautiful houses, ABOVE ground, and I wanted to be part of it. Soon I had to be married and joined to one of the older men in the group and I wanted no part of the sex with him! His breath alone was reason to run. His teeth wobbled in his head.

There had to be other places, other commitments that would fit me better than bunker life. I was different, I was no child bearer, thinking back to the last baby that came shooting out of the recent young mother of the group I helped with. We were all born into it, for generations here, religiously strung together. I didn’t have to stay. There had to be a way out. I was different, I could think for myself. This time in history, this place was not built for me, that was it, a simple timing error.

The other women, like selected puzzle pieces or like seams to a dress, just like the children who encircled them at their feet, they fell into place.

Bare toes, bare skin, attending to the commanders and children’s every needs. They all just did what they were told. Country life, communal living was not my forever home. I had heard of the city, someday I would get there, and love above ground. Live a little more separately.

Now that I had found the Internet, I had seen the horizon. Like something from the river just over a steep incline, information seemed to be pouring out everywhere.

Rebecca giggled, with every keystroke I made, looking deeply at the screen together. She would always get us caught in our excursions with her giggling, she was never quiet and calculating like me. I raced through the choices and read the titles, “anal, straight sex, gay sex, boobs, tits, gagging, young teens” and more flashed up on the glass. My eyes felt burned with guilt. Yet I couldn’t seem to let go of this plastic worm hole to anywhere I wanted to travel, especially on the subject of sex.

The commanders said it was forbidden to look at any screen much less sex. Yet the Internet stood before us and I felt grand. I was in control. Finally, I had found a way to travel far from the banks of the isolated corner I resided in, to a whole new world. Nowhere to be found on the far reaches of the countryside, yet I had found an escape in my hand. Little did I know, like the birds we hunted each week for food, I was soon to be caught.

Suddenly, the door blew open to the upper door of the compound, the airflow of the room changed and I froze and looked blankly at Rebecca.

Her family was home.

The long stairs down into the bunker would only detain them for what seemed like moments, as Rebecca and I scrambled to put the genie back in the bottle. The phone needed to be put back (seemingly untouched) in her father’s dresser.

I switched the phone off, holding my breath as the spinning wheel slowly faded and I rapidly put back into the hiding spot in which we found it. We raced out to resume our duties of cleaning and preparations. Nothing seemed out of place as we picked up our sewing commitments and steadied our faces to show nothing was awry. I was sure to get the willow switch, if not.

Rebecca’s commander, the man of the bunker, Tom, stomped in while the rest of his covey hurried in the door behind him. He stood, twisting a Timothy Weed in his teeth, stoically next to Rebecca’s mother as her siblings trickled into the room. She was my best friend, Rebecca. I wanted her to go with me. Clearly it was time for me to leave their home. Tom knew I was a bad influence on his home. He only let me stay late on occasion.

I had learned, only because, I worked hard helping Rebecca with her chores and let him touch me whenever he wanted, I got to stick around. It was so difficult to control my temper when he would glide his hand up under my dress now that I was eighteen. It was like a free ticket to the men of the camp now that I was of age. These were the only reasons I was allowed over, motivation for Rebecca lackadaisical behavior and a secret touch toy for him.

I knew the motivation of most. Sexual desire motivated most of the men I had met and the women wanted to be left to their duties. Women knew the fact of sex duties in the group but they all handled it differently than me.

They avoided it, I manipulated it. I wanted it secretly. When there was something I wanted, sex seemed the best way to get it, plus I loved sex. At least I thought so, I hadn’t had any yet. I was learning. Like a fishing lure on a line, I knew what I had. I just wasn’t quite sure what it was, until tonight…men wanted inside my body.

Like any fighter, I learned my environment, learned to exist and have fun in most situations. The willow switch proved it. Sex was the fastest way I knew how to create fun out of thin air after seeing it tonight illuminated on the screen. My mind had wandered.

Suddenly Asher, the stunning man visiting at Rebecca’s house, stepped in last, after Tom. He had only come into the community recently wanting to buy the land and I had spotted him on occasion here before. He was a persistent gentleman and knew what he wanted, much like me.

Tonight he was being persuasive about buying the land from Tom, as they entered the depths of the house. He was from the city and trying to buy the land to dig on it, but the commanders were holding firm to their way of life. They had no interest in selling the land. Tonight he was here with me and Rebecca at least. I couldn’t believe it. He was so close, I could really study his bodily features. It felt like just the three of us, despite all the younger kids now at our feet. That was it, my plan had inched forward. There had to be a way to leave with him back to the city.

As I feverishly thought of a more detailed plan, I noticed Rebecca’s mother was weary, just on system overload and on auto pilot. As soon as she had stepped into the room she began working on the neediest first of the family, starting meals, cleaning and keeping the peace all the while listening for her name to be called out by Tom barking orders. Most times it was Rebecca’s father who needed the most tending, the Commander in Chief to the village. Mr. “Grabby Hands,” to me.

I could still remember the acoustics in the bunker as they reverberated off the walls when he took what he wanted sexually from Rebecca’s mother. It was there at Rebecca’s kitchen, I was in the far end of the bunker helping Rebecca with her siblings, when I first heard Tom take her mother.

It sounded intense. It was not an even exchange and I didn’t understand the sex in their house. I rationalized that it was not the same as the soft touches Rebecca and I had together in the barn over the summer. Just thinking of our fun over the summer, made me release a smile into the room, catching Ashers’s attention.

His bright, clean teeth and flashing eyes looked handsome and stood brightly even in the dim lit room. He continued debating the land usage and permits to be filed. Tom nodded approvingly to Asher, but frowned at me across the room. I quickly wiped the smile from my face and continued to help. He could not control my mind. I was still going places.

Staring into Asher’s eyes from across the room, as he spoke, a random day in the barn with Rebecca had popped into my mind. A distant day from months ago, winter had passed and now the mid days of spring were upon us. We lay together, hidden in the hay for the animals, supposedly doing chores. Pitchforks stood against the wall not in use. She had pressed my hand against myself and asked me to “practice.”

With a giggle, she explained about my pinnacle, a fabulous shudder that gave way in my body when I rubbed the front of me just between my legs. A forbidden area to discuss much less touch. She showed me how to find this feeling first. Who knew? We were young when I learned.

My first pinnacle, or climax, with Rebecca was held in the depths of the warm summer barn, what a pleasurable first memory. The straw was warm and the sunlight shone brightly. Since the barn was on the edge of the wooded forest just by the open fields of the land, by 10 am the barn was our sanctuary.

Like an explorer on a quest with a delicate skin map, it only took me a few times to catch onto the excitement between my legs, as she touched me there with instruction. We figured out our sensitive body parts and shared them together on a regular basis, when no one was looking. Finally, I had learned to finish in my seated position, on my own, an absolute favorite of mine. It was easy to resume work if stumbled upon and no one would be the wiser.

“A race to the finish line,” Rebecca would call out eventually, as she patted the warm, dry straw next to her each time we would start. We would practice over and over again, sorely neglecting our chores as we laid in the sublime warm breezes of the barn. All the galabanting of feeding the animals and checking the traps for food along the perimeters would be rushed at the end of the day while we stow away in the barn together in the mid mornings.

My barn trips with Rebecca were to be as glorious as my first trips with Asher would be someday. I hoped. I just knew it. Asher was clean, well trimmed and he just didn’t know I would be joining him in the city yet.

His arms flexed at all the right moments as he explained the financial reasons for selling the land. He reflected such stamina as I watched him position himself awkwardly in the unfamiliar surroundings of their underground bunker. I was sure it was nothing like his apartment in the city he spoke of, with all the creature comforts above ground and neatly placed in the city.

I yearned for the chance to be near him, especially after being wound up from the video clip I had just watched. I waited for Rebecca’s father to bark and order…anything to attend to Asher’s needs so I could get closer. They had no idea of my plans to stow away in his trunk tonight when he left this time back to the city. Tonight was my only chance to leave, he was heading back tonight.

“His boots are wet and so are mine, get them off,” Tom pierced the air with his commands to us. I could not wait to escape. I tipped my head in submission and raced to remove their boots and prop them by the fire.

I was going to find a way to stow away in his trunk…at least into town. Maybe he would stow away in “my trunk” someday. I knew what I wanted, did he?

Source: reddit.com/r/Erotica/comments/r38x23/out_of_the_fire