You gave yourself to me wholly. You filled in every gap that I needed, and then found more gaps and filled them as well. You made me feel whole, my counterpart, and then you took it away from me.
You validated me, showed me that it’s okay to be fucked up and depraved. You gave me love and acceptance even in my darkest hours. And now it’s gone.
This shit is tough, man. Truly. What an enlightening and sexy and beautiful and disastrous experience submission and domination is. So much deeper than anything vanilla. I should have been more prepared. I should have held back. I shouldn’t have given my all to you.
No.
Fuck that.
I’m glad that I did. I’m a sadist to my core, but this fucking pain? This pain feels *good*. I’ve never felt more alive than the sting of heartbreak that comes with the dissolution of a D/s dynamic. Fuck.
I don’t want it again, and yet, I crave it more than ever.
I’m ranting. I’m hurting. And yet I’m hungry for more. Chasing this high, man. Fuck.
But man, I told you I want your holes to feel empty without me, and now all I feel is emptiness myself from the void you left.
I’m healing, though. I’m going to get thru this, and I’m going to do it all over again.
I’ve never felt more alone.
I’ve never felt more alive.