Is it appropriate or completely self centered to use this place as a bit of a personal journal? I care too much about what random people think about my intentions, I really just need these moments to act as a release valve.
I know so many come here to escape and trust me, I’m here for that reason as well but I don’t want to run from my realities. I don’t live my life in a bubble, I can’t just ignore these stresses and pretend I’m always some secretly slutty frustrated wife. I’m having to deal with too many people I know getting Covid and even more refusing to get the vaccine. I have people in my family struggling to figure out where they are going to live while I constantly fight with the guilt of not letting them live with us. I have projects at work that are out of control and I know I have to be the one to try to fix them but it’s too much and I fantasize about quitting all the time. Our grass and bushes are dying. Medical issues are springing up. It’s honestly one of the most stressful times of my life and one of the unique things about this site is having to face the brutal reality that you simply don’t care.
I don’t say that with venom, it’s just the reality of this kind of dynamic and I agree to that by submitting this. I know even though you aren’t obligated, there are plenty of people here that would and do care about my well being, but there are also plenty of you on here reading this thinking, “Okay, is this bitch going to get to the point or what?” I know what you’re expecting and I don’t come here for comfort. Even with all my realities laid out in front of you, you want to know what color panties I’m wearing right now. It makes no difference to you that I have a meeting later this week that I’m absolutely dreading, you still want to know the last time I got myself off and what I was thinking about.
You scroll through post after post, woman after woman taking whatever bits of them they offer without a thought. A pair of nice tits or a little slutty confession you get to visualize. You get to use so many of us and of course it’s consensual, but I still feel like I’m a toy helplessly on display whenever I make posts like this. I control the narrative completely while you read this, but the moment I’m done then any of that control is lost and most of the time I never even know what you did with this momentary piece of me.
I just know if I want anyone to even look at me, I have to be vulnerable in some way. I have to agree to the rules if I want to play. I have to admit I’m wearing a pair of light grey panties with a few white horizontal strips and hope it gets your attention even just a little bit. I have to tell you I got off last night using my removable shower head. That I leaned up against that tile wall and thought about how it would feel if I knew my neighbor could somehow see me through the fogged glass. I imagined how his image of me would change so drastically in that moment, how I wouldn’t stop holding the head between my legs even after making eye contact. I rode that mixture of embarrassment and lust until I couldn’t hold myself up anymore…
That’s it though, that’s all you get from me right now. Just the smallest of windows into a complete stranger’s world and then they’re gone. Thank you for stopping to take a look.
Source: reddit.com/r/Erotica/comments/pkkijz/just_a_little_window