Hannah would put people in awe wherever she goes. Those were the good days. Now every since the infamous MTV “Blurred Lines” got viral, she had sunk so low, to the point of becoming someone’s shadow. Everyone either mistaken her as the now famous model, or compared their look, the luscious lips, gravity defying tits, and tight bodies. Some mean girls even go as far as insinuating her of making herself a lookalike through surgical means.
There is no love. She realizes that no one has ever accepted her for who she really is, except for her loving family, but simply see her as a commodity.
It’s not fair!
Hannah’s mom notices that Emily has been a little depressed lately. This evening, she finally knock on her door, trying to have a mom-daughter talk.
“Honey are you okay?” Nora slightly opens the door.
“Ya mom I am alright” Hannah said it while sitting at her desk, without turning her back from her computer.
“You don’t seem okay lately” Mom is assertive. She won’t let go when it comes to her daughter’s well being. “Just tell me. You can talk to me about it”
“Its really nothing. Just there is so much stuff going on.” she said with a raised pitch.
“What do you mean, are you doing ok with your modeling stuff? is it why you seem upset?”
“it’s fine really” Hannah is quickly running out of patience. How would mom know what to do? She is doing everything she can to not be like her family. She wants to start something new on her own. She wants to make her dream happen.
“I have made some cup cakes downstair, come join me and dad!” She knows her daughter has been a bit of a recluse these days. Knowing how it is with the highs and lows that come with the dream industry, she knew her daughter might not be able to handle the pressure on her own.
She knows her daughter. Hannah stresses out easily. Deep down she thinks her daughter might be better off doing something less stressful, like a regular 9 to 5 job, or better, a writer like herself and her husband. She knew Hannah has what it takes to be very successful at it. The family has thought about moving out of California when Hannah was just 14, to give their children a quiet, suburban life, but Hannah and her sister Nina would not have it. They love Hollywood.
She has been through this stage herself as she used to be a “stereotypical” stunner too, until she and her sisters made that pledge some years ago… but Hannah can be extreme when it comes to look. It hurts to see her daughter tortures herself about her self image. Ever since the start of puberty, Hannah often started the morning crying, complaining about a pimple, or a pound or two of extra weight. Many girls do that, but for her oldest daughter it seems to be all consuming. It was only the vigilant support of the family that keeps Hannah from getting plastic surgery, or other crazy things like a full scale water fast.
“Mom I told you many times I don’t want you to tempt me with all these foods. I have a career goal!!” Hannah could barely hold herself from yelling as she turns her head toward mom, whose head poked in through the door gap. “Damn it, its not like I will make it anyway” said Hannah as she tears up, and in a moment she quickly starts weeping.
“What’s the matter honey?” Nora asks in a tone of concert as she walk into the room and give her daughter an enveloping hug from the side, and kiss the top of her head like she is still her baby. It takes Hannah a few second to muster her voice as she collects herself in mom’s arms, “I will never be a model! or actress. I look like her too much” She said chokingly “No one is giving me any job”
Nora knows who “her” is. “We can talk to Mr. Davis to find out what we can do!” she said with a soothing voice. Mr. Davis is a successful agent in Hollywood.
As a seasoned screen writer, deep down Nora knows it is true that her daughter’s career is as good as done. Not even Mr. Davis can save it. No one will take a lookalike seriously in this industry. She is just comforting her to buy time. “Sweetheart, See the big picture. There must be something… some new angle you can work on. There is always a way. Its ridiculous how people deny you for stupid reason like this. Its all superficial. I know. But if you have true talents, you will shine through one day, just work hard”
“but by that time my look would be gone. It would only last a few years” She weeps harder as she foreseeing this gloom future awaiting her. She is already 22! In a few years, she will reach 30. By that time she will never be a top actress, or model like she always wanted to be.
Seeing her daughter weeping is so hard, she regrets not taking matter in their own hands and bring her children out of this cursed Hollywood city when they were still little. She should have known better—for every one star, there are tens of thousands of competitors who won’t make it.
Besides, Nora has seen it all. Many young models and actresses wannabe keep themselves slim by taking drugs. Years would pass. Most of them still don’t make it by 30s, and they would try to prolong their look with surgeries, which often only make them look worst. Even those who made it would soon lose their look too.
There are just too much pressures, no wonder so many of them are on drugs. This is certainly a path she doesn’t want her daughter to repeat.
“Honey, this might be a good opportunity. Do you want to be successful based on look? Or your own effort? Everything happens for a reason. You will be able to come up higher because of this” Nora is a loving mom, but she never hesitates when it comes to pushing her kids toward of what she think is right.
Hannah is already balling her eyes out at this point, “but life is so hard for girls who are not hot!” these words would be piercing for most women to hear, but as her mom, Nora forgives all. “Baby, you know I used to be “stunner” as well?” She said in a motherly, soothing voice.
“yeah, I know” she blurted, as she lean on her mom’s blossom. Hannah would never admit it, but it feels so good when her mom hugs her like that.
“but this narrow definition of stunner is what society want us to believe. Normal women will never look like what those magazines are showing you. Real women are beautiful too”
“You see, mommy found her passion years ago, and decided that there was no shame for her own body. A woman deserves to be valued by her work, not her look, just like how it is for men” She uses third person tense whenever Hannah behaves like a spoiled little girl, and she continues, “besides, who says real women don’t look beautiful? I chose to ‘lose’ my old look because it freed me from the mental prison that society imposed upon us women. I became so much happier. Your dad loves me just the same.” She chuckled. “Actually much more hehe…” She smiles like she has a secret to hide. The is a hint of kink behind that smile.
These words are planted in Hannah’s mind like seeds. Before she knew it, they are taking root and eventually topples her world upside down.
Next morning. Hannah was still asleep. Her hair spreading around her head and pillow. Such innocent look, not a care of the world, a sleeping beauty indeed. Men would love to ravish her at this alluring scene.
Her phone was beeping. Who was this? Hannah had been waking up so late these days because of her me-times addictions. Her girlfriends usually won’t call her this early in the morning. She reluctantly turned to her left, and reached her hand out of her bed sheet, to grab her phone on the wooden night stand.
When she saw on her call display that it was Jamie, her heart skipped a beat. Could this be her boyfriend was missing her? finally? She felt a small burst of hopeful joy. “hello?” She answered.
There was a moment of silent before he spoke. “umm…Look Hannah, can we meet tonight?” said Jamie. While his voice was affectionate, it sounds a bit concerned and serious, it sounded like he had a bad news to tell and at the same time trying to protect her feeling. He is breaking up with me! In that moment she felt a shot of cold chill piercing through her heart.
“What is it? Tell me!” She must have sounded desperate, which was exactly the emotion she didn’t want to show him at this crucial moment. She might still save it if she just stop acting needy and put on an air like she always does with most men who chase her.
“I will tell you about it tonight.” He said with with reluctance, like he is embarrassed by the conversation, “Don’t! tell me now!”, she demands it, and quickly regrets it after. She knew Jamie was a proud man. When he trained her in his gym, he was very commanding, never gave in to pleads, or any non-sense. He was always patient with trainees and girlfriends, but he would walk away, by becoming dismissive, or literally walk away, if people tried to push the envelope, herself included.
He used to be listening and empathetic with her rants and drama.
Source: reddit.com/r/Erotica/comments/nfhyvy/a_fat_awakening_pt_2