I need your honest opinion

I am interested in the erotica/Romance genre of books, and I wanted to ask if my writing is good enough.

So I’m just going to ask you to read until the end and tell me if it turned you on, just a bit.

Thank you for reading!

**The Arcade**

Finally, my dream had become a reality, and I was having a date with Hudson. We were in an arcade, acting like children, yet reflecting that touch of innocence and youth that I had led to the path of forgetfulness but still yearned to have it once more. In that arcade, full of energy, full of light, yet still in darkness, full of life, yet still repressing something I still couldn’t quite get the grasp of. There were games, many games where I could easily lose myself in, yet I wanted to live this moment with him, Hudson Clark, the only person who made me feel this way. The only person to whom I devoted myself to, whose kiss I desired and had so desired for too long.

As I was lost in that train of thought, I didn’t realize he was still by my side, looking my eyes, those beautiful ocean eyes, that shines as blue as a sapphire being touched by the ethereal sunlight in a summer day, filled with need, yearn, longing, a longing that had apparently tormented him as it had tormented me. I could not decipher it, for he was still quiet, not opening up his heart as I had wanted, not letting me touch him as I wanted. Those eyes, that need, and even though it was vehement, filled with urge, it was still innocent. I could somehow sense that innocence in his eyes, that innocence that had been revoked by a life full of loneliness, yet innocent after all.

I looked at him, perplexed, for even though I was with the love of my life, I couldn’t sense his presence, as if he had not been with me, as if we were still lonely, even though we now had each other. My skin, still yet to be touched, still pure, without the marks of someone else’s lips, without the marks of past love, without the memory of someone else’s touch. My lips, still yearning to be touched by his, oh those ethereal lips that he owned. That pleasure that I so imagined would feel if his lips met mine, my most intimate need, yet innocent and pure, for I only yearned to touch those lips, with passion but also with love and care.

Finally came the hour, and his lips began to move, ceasing the stagnating conversation we had begun so long ago, “Have you wondered why have I brought you here?” attentive did I listen to those words that came out in a harmonious melody, “I brought you here because I knew that you wanted to be with me” A rosy blush caressed my cheeks, for I wouldn’t have thought that Hudson was going to know of this secret and repressed need that I felt for him, that need that had yet to bloom, such as a flower in spring, a bud that turns into a beautiful rose, yet needs water in order to bloom, “Hey” His voice made me recall my presence, made me recall the fact that I was indeed with him, “I need to make you feel what no one else has made you feel before, because I know that you are still willing to be merely and solely mine, will you? Will you dedicate every breath and every word to me?” I was hypnotized by his enticing tone, his harmonious voice, that I had no other choice but to answer with a mere, “Yes”. My heart started having erratic palpitations, fast, passionate, filled with desire, yet desire for something still unknown to my senses. “Then, at last, come with me” He broke that interminable silence with yet again his voice, his perfect voice. The touch of mystery intrigued me as no one had, so I followed, I followed his command, as I would follow any order he gave me, blindly, without hesitation, knowing that he would make me feel what no one else had made me feel before, a new type of need, a need that I still couldn’t recognize yet manifested itself in the form of an electric shock that passed through my entire body, through Every. Single. Inch. Of. Skin. I stood up from that stool and followed him, just as he had commanded, just as his deeply hypnotizing voice had ordered. I followed, and I knew that I would follow wherever he led.

We went to the prize section, knowing that perhaps that would not be the only recompense I would receive tonight, a gut feeling that flowed from underneath my skin. Something told me this was not over yet, yet I still couldn’t know what was exactly not over. At last, we stepped out of the darkness, and the artificial light covered him, and he looked just like an angel in that light. His hazel hair shined as a thousand stars, and his body, the body of a greek sculpture, was more visible, more contrasting with the rest of the people. I searched through the store, finding all types of utesils, useless utensils and artefacts that weren’t catching my attention. I counted the number of tickets, *69,* I had exactly 69 tickets.I roamed through the store, captivated by the colors, yet more captivated by him. I continued searching, and that prize store was quite vast indeed. The ceiling was an artificial sky, painted in oil, the clouds surrounding it, the sky, blue as his eyes, that deep shade of blue that I longed to see once more. The floor, one that resembled the floor in a child’s bedroom, a blue carpet with decoration that seemed to be the solar system. The lights, they were quite luminous, and I was almost blinded by them, if Hudson had not been here, for he was what shone the most in that room. I was growing frustrated, for I saw that I couldn’t afford much with 69 tickets. Suddenly, a lady approached me. She seemed to work in that place, for she was wearing a blue shirt that had the company’s logo on it, and she had a name tag with the name, “Gabi C.” She was petite, shorter than me, with long, silky, dark hair and with blue eyes that reminded me of him. It was the exact shade of blue, “Hello, are you looking for something in specific?” Shehad a tender voice, and I responded, “Yes, um… What can I afford with 69 tickets?” Gabi looked quite confused, “You said 69? I don’t actually think there is something that’s cheaper than 138 tickets,” I looked at Gabi for a moment, and I responded, “Well, then I guess I’ll just save them for another time,” I grew a little frustrated, for I truly wished to obtain something, a small souvenir of the time I had a date with Hudson. Suddenly, as I started walking away from Gabi, Hudson turned to her, “Gabi! It’s so nice to see you again!” I was perplexed, so I turned to the petite girl once again, and that’s when I recognized that face. It was on Hudson’s Facebook. Now I knew, it was someone that knew him. “Hey” Hudson turned to me, “You have to meet my sister, Gabi” For a moment, while he mentioned those words, I could sense tenderness in his voice. That was the first time I heard him saying something with that tender tone, as if he had remembered something from his childhood, something that brought back the innocent Hudson that had been lost for so much time. He was no longer the strong, seductive man that I knew and desired but actually something else, and I enjoyed it, “Meet Gabi, my little sister” I looked in surprise as I finally knew why fer face seemed familiar, and suddenly, she clarified, “Actually you mean, big sister,” she smiled, “We’re twins, and we always debate about who’s the oldest,” She gave me her hand, and I shook it, “Nice to meet you…” I mentioned my name, and she seemed to like it, “That’s a beautiful name,” suddenly, she looked at her watch, and her expression vehemently changed, “Oh no, I have to meet Bruce in five minutes. Well Hudson, I have to go, but I’ll call you later,” Hudson waved, and then Gabi talked to me, “It was really nice meeting you” She smiled once again, and I smiled back. When Gabi left the area, Hudson’s expression changed once again, and his voice returned to that seductive, and low tone. “Shall we go now?” he asked me, as I noticed how all the people began leaving the store, “But I still haven’t found anything,” I gave him my tickets, and then he took some tickets out of his pocket, “Maybe this will get us something”… *us…* he said *us*. I noticed that Gabi had been the only employee at her post, and now she was gone, and all the people started leaving. I looked at my watch, and we only had 5 minutes till the store closed. As I returned to reality, I noticed that Hudson had finished counting all the tickets, “Look, if I combine our tickets, there are 138 tickets in total. Maybe we will be able to actually find something,” that’s when I remembered, Gabi had mentioned that all prizes started at 138 tickets. I started roaming through the store, and I went to the “138 ticket” shelf, however, it seemed empty. As I walked towards it, the place grew even more silent. All the people had suddenly left the store, and I was only left with Hudson. As the place grew silent and I continued walking to the shelf, I could hear my own footsteps, even through the soft carpet. Now the only source of sound was the background music, and then a soft piano piece started playing, quite soothing. I finally approached the shelf and still noticed its emptiness, but I decided to look in it anyway. That’s when I saw it, a small white box lying on the farthest corner of that wired shelf. I approached the small white box, and stood as far as I could to reach it. The edge of the wire shelf was as tall as me with my arms fully extended, thus I continued stretching and stretching and stretching, until I finally felt it. I grabbed it with the tips of my fingers, slowly pulling it toward me, slowly, until I could get a grasp of it. I took it with my hand, but then I realized how much I was stretching, and when I finally had it, I fell to the ground while holding the box. Hudson rushed over to me to check if I was alright, and I was closing my eyes, trying to make the dizziness go away, and while my eyes were closed, I could hear his vehement footsteps as they approached me. I was finally able to open my eyes, and I saw it. The contents of that white box finally revealed a pair of handcuffs. Small handcuffs, yet still wide enough to fit through my wrists. Hudson finally arrived and offered his hand to hold me up, but before it took it, I took the handcuffs, and then I laughed, “How do they sell that at a children’s store?”, I asked, not exactly expecting an answer from him, but his silence still intrigued me. After many seconds of holding his hand for me, he gave up. Then, he kneeled down to the ground to be at my height. I was merely sitting on the ground, and that’s when I decided to take them. Out of mere curiosity, I took one of the handcuffs and closed it on my wrist. It was as if someone had made those handcuffs thinking of me, for they were a perfect fit, and then I laughed again, this time maybe just to break the silence, “Look, Hudson. They are a perfect fit, and we only have 138 tickets, maybe someone is trying to tell me something” I continued laughing, naive of the situation. I simply saw it as innocently amusing that a pair of handcuffs was the only prize available at the moment.

I was sitting on the floor, still amused by the strange prize, and he was kneeling right beside me, silent. Suddenly, the lights shut down, and the music stopped. I came back to reality and stopped looking at the odd prize, and I told Hudson, “It seems that they forgot us here. Maybe we should go now,” I stood up, and I gave the place a brief glance. Everything was dark, except for a dim orange light that shone at the entrance of the place. There was nothing else, apart from that dim light. It was so dim it might as well have been a small candle, but through that dim light, I was able to see a small contour of his body through all that darkness. I still couldn’t see his face, except for a contour of orange light, but I knew he was there. He was silent, still kneeling. A strange sensation started blooming inside of me, a sensation I hadn’t ever felt before. I started feeling the same I had as when we were looking at each other in the arcade, through that blue light. Yet, now it was more intense. I felt it again, that electric current going through my entire body, my heart rate increasingly accelerating, my breathing, growing more intense by the second. Yet, even through that darkness, Hudson didn’t move. I felt attracted to that feeling, as if it was a magnet that was pulling me in, closer and closer, but I still repressed it. I was afraid of feeling it, so I broke the intense silence, “Hudson? Please, say something, stand up, please,” He was still kneeling, but I ignored it momentarily, as now something else happened with my body, I started to sweat as if someone had raised the temperature significantly. That’s when I knew I had to get out, but not without Hudson. I was about to tell him that we had to go, but then I looked at the handcuffs. I had to take them off, but I couldn’t find the key, so I dared to speak, “Hud-Hudson? I need the key… Have you-” That’s when I noticed, through all that darkness, something was flickering in his hand, the key. “Hud-son… The key, please”. I didn’t know what was happening, but suddenly, all my senses sharpened. I felt something moist, something new. This tension, this silence, it made my body react in some strange manner. Suddenly, he stood up, through that darkness, only a dim orange light illuminating us in the distance. I had to fixate my eyes on his as he stood up, and that’s when I noticed how tall he actually was. My breath grew more intense, and I don’t think I was being conspicuous anymore. I couldn’t repress it anymore, but I was still unaware of my surroundings. He stood up, and he was millimeters apart from me. I had to know where this sensation led, so I dared to touch his chest, but before I could, he grabbed my uncuffed wrist with his strong hand, and then he took the other handcuff, passing it through the wired shelf, extending my arms to their full length, and then handcuffed me on the other side of the wire. I wouldn’t move my arms, and through that darkness, something even more intimate bloomed inside of me as I felt that his breath also intensified. He looked at me ardently, even through that obscurity, I could sense the urge. I could sense something that made me long for his touch. I wanted, needed, him to touch me in every sense of the word. That’s when he began.

As I was handcuffed and unable to move, he began touching my hands and down through my arms, vehemently yet so gently I could’ve thought he was touching me with a feather. Each second he touched me, I felt electric shocks through my entire body, and my breathing felt more tense, and I needed to make a sound, but I didn’t know which sound. He stepped behind me as he continued lowering his hands from my arms to my shoulders, and then he started heading to my torso, and he explored my body even more. From behind. I felt his breath against my neck. I felt the moist saliva breeze from his mouth against my neck, and then he joined his mouth with my neck. I let out a soft scream, for I couldn’t hold in that tension anymore. Meanwhile, his hands continued going down to the base of my shirt, and as he was kissing my neck, exploring every inch of it with his lips, he started unbuttoning my shirt. Each button he undid, each kiss he gave me, each time his hands touched me. I was still unable to move, my hands handcuffed to a tall wire, yet I could still feel everything. He finally took the shirt off, and this time I was finally able to feel his hands against my bare skin. As he was still behind me, he continued exploring my body with his hands, going from my belly in an upwards direction. Suddenly, he took me and leaned me over to him, and I could feel it. I could feel his erection from underneath his pants. He was hard, and somehow that made me feel even more aroused.

He started moving his hands towards my breasts, and then he started undoing my bra.

“How about like this” he mentioned, in a low voice, almost as seductive as the first time I met him. Then, he took it off, throwing it to the floor. I already knew that my nipples were erected, but when he started playing with them, I couldn’t hold my voice anymore, “Mhhph” A soft cry left my mouth, and then he turned around to face me without letting go of my breasts, “How do you like it?” He mentioned, and I couldn’t resist the temptation that his mouth was only inches away from mine, “Kiss me, Hudson, Kiss me,” I mentioned between moans, “That is not it” He mentioned as he lowered his eyes and continued playing with my nipples, then he started sucking one of them, “Ahh” another soft cry escaped from my mouth, and then me mentioned, “You better stay quiet if you don’t want anyone finding out”. Yet, he was giving me so much that I couldn’t hold it “Ahh, Hudson, Ahh”. He was sucking even harder than before, each time with more intensity. “Ahh” A soft cry escaped again, and that’s when he took his hand and covered my mouth, “Shhh” He mentioned seductively. He stopped touching my breasts, but his other hand had not left my torso, and then it started going down. As it got close to that area, I could feel my body fluids excreting from there. I felt yet another electric pulse that invaded my entire self. He started unbuttoning my jeans, and each touch was yet another electric pulse that invaded my entire self, “Mmmph ” a soft cry escaped from me, even though he was covering my mouth with his hand. I felt all the blood flow concentrating on my lower area, and then he finally reached it. At first, he started touching it over my panties, and I felt his soft touch through the fabric, “Mmmph” I wanted to say his name, remind myself that he was the only person that could make me feel this way, “Mmmmph” He continued toying with that area, merely touching it, but at this point any touch would suffice to give me great waves of pleasure. “I will uncover your mouth, but you can only say my name. Only my name” He mentioned. I nodded with a look of desperation in my eyes. He stopped toying with the fabric of my panties, and then he uncovered my mouth. Yet, he didn’t move.

My labia was already swollen, asking, no, begging for him to touch me. Yet, nothing.

“Hudson” He looked me in the eye, with a grin of pleasure. I could sense his erection still, but he still did not move. “Hudson please” I said again, not being able to hold in how much I needed him. “Please what?” He mentioned cynically, knowing that I needed him in me. “Get inside me please” He grinned, His bare fingers touched my bare skin. He continued teasing me. His fingers were just outside my already wet entrance, and he teased and teased, until I couldn’t hold it in anymore, “Hudson, I beg you” The wave of pleasure was immense as he slid 2 of his fingers inside. “AH HUDSON!” I mentioned, and he kept repeating the pace, each time with more intensity than before. “AH MORE HUDSON MORE” He continued slipping his fingers inside of me, each thrust more intense, and more and more AND MORE. “AHH” I couldn’t hold in my moans anymore. “HUDSON!” He continued thrusting until I felt I was about to reach my climax, “Hudson, I’m going to-” My body couldn’t hold it in anymore, “AHHH” Thousands of waves of pleasure invaded my body, and I felt the orgasm from deep within me. My intense breathing calmed down, and he pulled his fingers out of me. “You have earned your prize” He mentioned as he uncuffed me and handed the handcuffs to me. I noticed he was still hard, but I didn’t mention anything.

I took my clothes and neatly put them back on again.

“What about the key?” I asked as I watched him put it inside his pocket, “I’ll save this for later” He mentioned with a grin.

Suddenly, I felt how unfair I was truly being, and I said, “You’ve pleasured me, greatly, but what about you?” I said while looking at his erection.

I was finally dressed, and we left the building. He hadn’t said a word since we left, and then we approached his car, “Come in” he mentioned.

Source: reddit.com/r/Erotica/comments/n4acwl/i_need_your_honest_opinion