For some context, I’ve been interested in desperation since I was old enough to have sexual interests (even if I didn’t understand what I was doing until years later.) However, it’s never been something I’ve shared with anyone or tried before – just something I’ve enjoyed as erotic material. Also, for the last 5 or so years I was on an antidepressant that absolutely killed my sex drive, until a switch in medication last summer triggered it to come back in full force recently. I’m also finally learning how to make myself cum.
This just happened to me today and OMG I’m in such an incredible state of bliss now and had to share!!
Edit: to add some details
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Both mine and my partner’s sleep schedule had been really messed up, and because of this we’d been sleeping at different, unconventional times. Today, he went to bed at 9 am, while I’d only been awake since the early hours of the morning. An hour or so after he got in bed, I walked the dog. When I came back, he had gotten up to use the washroom, so I sat straight down instead of peeing like I usually do. I peed before leaving, but as someone with a small bladder I tend to have to pee again by the time I get back. I had also drank two bottled Frappuccino drinks over the night to help me stay awake, as well as pop and lots of water, and it was starting to all make its way into my bladder.
My partner was taking a while, so to distract myself I opened up a porn link I had saved recently, of a woman having a true accident on a bed. I was planning to play after peeing, since orgasms tend to wake me up and it had been a couple of days since I’d had the time to do so, and figured I’d get myself in the mood while waiting. A few videos later, brave and horny, I decided that I wanted to try and get as desperate as possible instead and hold it until the last minute, and then go play. I had the time and needed the distraction, and with this newfound horniness and rediscovering all my kinks and my body, I had gotten a lot more adventurous. I started to watch longer videos and force myself to chug out of my water bottle, telling myself I wouldn’t even think about peeing until I finished it.
Unfortunately, my body had different ideas, and the excitement of actually trying out holding my pee myself for the first time plus the visual stimuli of the porn videos quickly made my clit start to pulse and panties feel damp. I was scared to play at first, since I sometimes squirted and was worried that the feeling would cause me to pee, but I was so horny that I found myself going into the spare room with my vibrator anyways. Sitting back against the wall with my pants and sweater off, I spread my legs and gasped at how wet I was already. I had felt a little bit of dampness, but didn’t expect to see my vulva completely soaked. I ran my fingers lightly across my clit and felt that it was rock hard, pulsing away like a drum beat. Leaning my head back and closing my eyes, I decided that I would try to edge myself for the first time, and stop if I felt like I was going to squirt.
I ran my fingertips along my vulva and across my clit, then lightly pinched it between my finger and thumb and pulled up a few times. I put a finger inside of my pussy, and watched a long string of my wetness grow as I pulled it back out. Letting out a slight moan, I started to rub slow circles on my clit, until I was craving the stronger feelings of my vibrator. Starting on one of the lower intensities, I pressed it against my clit and felt the rumbles pulse through my entire pussy. Lightly rubbing it up and down, I got myself to the edge of orgasm 4 or 5 times, each time pulling away my vibrator and grabbing my pussy with my other hand and feeling my pulsing clit get stronger and stronger against my palm. I knew at this point that I would orgasm if I kept going, and elated at the fact I had not only successfully recognized the signs of my orgasm but was also able to stop it from happening, I started to put away my toys and put my clothes back on.
As the blood slowly left my pussy, the feeling of my full bladder started to become the only thing I could think about. I couldn’t feel just how full my bladder had become while in the throes of play, and it became clear that I was getting the desperation I wanted. My bladder, full and heavy, felt like it was pressing down on the back of my pussy, making my clit tingle a bit.
Now that I had to focus so much on clenching my pussy, it was difficult to walk. However, I knew I had to go wash my hands, because the sticky feeling of both natural and bottled lube on my fingers and hands was already starting to bother me. I walked stiffly to the bathroom, and, taking a deep breath, I turned the water on.
Putting my hands in the warm water was torture. I instantly had to cross my legs to apply some pressure to my pussy and bend over, and I haphazardly rubbed soap over my fingers before half rinsing them off and cramming my hands into my crotch. I squatted down on the floor as the full force of the wave hit me, and I could feel my pussy clenching full force as I tried not to leak in my leggings. Rocking back and forth and shaking my thighs, I closed my eyes and moaned, feeling so close to losing control yet so turned on by the feeling.
When the wave passed, I slowly got up and walked into the bedroom, to try and drink more water and watch a movie. I couldn’t sit still and had to type one handed, as my left hand was crammed hard into my crotch. Legs shaking, I found the movie I wanted to watch, and got through three minutes before I knew it was now or never. Running to the bathroom with my hands in my crotch, I felt another wave hit me and had to dance from foot to foot as I closed the door and pulled my pants and panties down, my pussy absolutely soaked again. I sat down on the toilet, but decided I wanted to see how long I could hold it before I finally let go.
A couple of seconds passed, small moans escaping my lips the whole time, until a spurt of pee shot out of me. Gasping, I looked down to see pee dribbling out of me on its own without me able to see or feel it except how it was running down my vulva, and then another spurt shot out. When they came out, it felt like my pussy was pushing out and open, and then suddenly clenching back together. The mixed feelings created an insane rocking sensation, and it was incredible to try and hold it while it was coming out, and watch it go from dribbling to shooting and back. After a minute, though, I couldn’t take the desperation anymore and finally relaxed, a huge stream coming out. It took another minute to fully empty my bladder, and I was leaning back against the toilet breathing heavily by the time I was done. I rubbed my clit for a second, and the shock that went through me caused me to get up right away and go back into the spare room, without wiping myself. My pussy was delightfully soaked in both my wetness and my pee. I grabbed my vibrator again and started rubbing it against my vulva and clit on full force, moaning loudly and uncontrollably now. I was so turned on, my whole pussy pulsing now and bright pink, engorged with blood. My clit was sticking out like a pencil eraser, and rubbing my vibrator against it was causing tingles to run through my whole pussy and body. I felt the telltale waves going through me, and threw my head back as I had a legs shaking, hips bucking orgasm, my mouth agape and eyes closed tightly.
My eyes stayed closed as I caught my breath, in shock about how amazing that just felt. I couldn’t believe everything I had tried, or how hard I came. Feeling floaty, I knew I had to try this again, and soon.
Source: reddit.com/r/Erotica/comments/lx3dtd/first_time_trying_desperation_and_edging_solo_f