I walk home, exhausted after my bi-weekly psychotherapy session. I’m only a couple of sessions in but so far it’s been eye opening and very productive, one could even say healing, but I cried so much in that session. I’m wiping the tears from my face as I pass strangers on the street. It feels embarrassing, I know it shouldn’t, I know crying is natural, I just don’t like the idea of upsetting anybody who sees me.
I do feel good acknowledging the wounds are there though so I can start healing them. So many years of the wrong types of therapy and the wrong medications. It feels like such a waste of life. Finding the problems and connections to fix in my crazy buzzing head.
I hate knowing that the people that were supposed to look after me, protect me, are the cause of a lot of my self hatred. Every negative harmful coping mechanism I’ve learned, every trigger that turns me scared to stone, that tells me I’m not worth standing up for, so let others hit you, again and again, don’t fight back, even years after, resulted from how I developed around his drunken shouting and arguing and inability to express.
It created years of alcohol abuse, depression, hiding my pain. It stopped me being assertive and strong all my life, and I hate him for that. I say that, and I mean it, but I do forgive him. I have to, blame helps nobody. I refuse to turn bitter, turn into him and continue the chain of abuse. Even as a weak, shy, depressed, low achieving, easily frightened, people pleasing adult. At least I can say I’m naturally a kind man, and I will always try to protect the ones I love. And I have so much love to give. A life lived with good intentions and love in my heart. I’ll die happy with just that knowledge and that alone.
That’s why I consider finding you to be the best moment of my life. You are the icing on my extremely late arriving birthday cake of my life. You allow me to develop a strength that burns like a small gentle flame in my timid body and turns it into a fire. Creating a moment where I forget that pain, that anger, I briefly become the person I want to be, and for that I will always love you. Just for showing me the possibility, letting me release my potential, it gives me the hope I need and the drive to change myself. I will never burden you with my thoughts or sadness, I am not a puppy to be saved. I will not rely solely on you and I will do the work.
I’m a realist, we may not be together forever. It’s sad but possible. But for the time we are, I am God-I-don’t-even-believe-in grateful for you.
As a side note, I swear I will release my inner fuck demon upon you at every available opportunity. I will satisfy you to your core. With you I can be the caring nurturing partner who loves you and cares for you, the kind man I naturally am. As well as the long-hidden angry man who pulls your hair as he fucks you bareback over the kitchen table.
Speaking of, I’ve just reached home.
I’m at the front door. I put my key inside, I’m already thinking about you, your sexy body. What it does to me just to touch you. The flame is burning brighter. It’s always new, exciting, like a long forgotten emotion unfelt for a long time. Thank God that key worked. I think otherwise I’d break down the fucking door to get to you. I’m being driven by pure lust at this point. I open the door and step inside. My senses are heightened like a wild beast, oh baby you don’t even know what’s coming, I listen carefully for the faintest of sounds. I am home, and I will find you.
I search room to room like a sex crazed fiend. I find you in the kitchen doorway, standing pretty with a smile on your face. As I approach my hand shakes with intensity as it rises and gets closer to your face. I stroke your smooth hair and face and smell your wonderful scent. I kiss your shoulder, you intocicate me. I softly press my lips against your skin for a taste, again and again all the way up your neck, then I lock eyes with you. I push you slowly against the wall and kiss you on the lips passionately, rubbing my hands all over your body. I’m so out of control. Mr brain is a mess of emotions. I’ve just gone from lustfully romantic to fierce rapist level intensity. Its terrifying but I want to fuck you so badly I could scream.
I grab you by the neck, I squeeze but only gently. The message is, Daddy’s home, and he’s very hungry. I kiss your neck again and suck and bare my teeth as I rub my hands against your blouse and caress your breasts, I bite gently as I locate a nipple through the cloth and squeeze. My hands rush down to your trousers. I undo the trouser button in a flash and quickly pull them down to the ground for you.
“Take them off!” I command, and you step out from the collapsed bottoms on the floor.
I have you now in a blouse and panties against the wall, and that’s just how I want you. Except, one small thing, I rip open the buttons of your blouse, and start kissing your breasts directly, I use my soft fingers to rub your nipples and then take them into my mouth to suck. I’m so fucking turned on, I love your body. Then one of my hands drifts down the soft skin of your belly, down towards your special place. I so want to make you wet my darling. You know I know how. I want those panties soaking before I’ve even taken out my cock. I start to rub your pussy inside your panties and whisper naughty things in your ear. I’ll say whatever devious deliciously dirty things you want. I want you to bite your lip to stop from gasping you’re so turned on.
Daddy’s been thinking about you all day. About all the naughty things I want to do with you. I couldn’t concentrate at work. I got hard under my desk. My cock was rubbing thick and hard against my trousers and all I wanted was to be home fucking you. I want to make you moan. God I’ve missed kissing your lips. I could kiss you all day. I want to rub your pussy, get it nice and wet. Do you like it when I put my fingers inside you and explore? I think you’ve been waiting for this all day. Rub your clit as I suck on your nipples and put my fingers inside you. I’m just another dirty horny old man and I’m going to take your body and make you cum everywhere. I reach down and grab your bottom claiming it.
“Mine!” I growl.
I look at you sternly. Yeah you better fucking nod for me. You belong to me. Keep rubbing your clit as I dip my fingers deep inside your pussy walls, tapping away at my dirty girl. I want you excited and dripping all over my fingers, Soaked through your panties and down your legs. You’re positively flowing, such a good girl for Daddy. I rub my hand down your thigh and collect that dripping wetness on my hand. I bring my thumb up to your lips and softly press it against them.
“Suck!” I command.
You wrap your lips around my thumb and your tongue laps at it hungrily. I unzip my trousers and take out my erect cock, I rip your panties off and rub my erect cock between your legs and against your pussy. I feel your squirm of excitement you can’t hide it from me.
I start to guide you backwards into the kitchen, kissing you with every step. I lift you up onto the kitchen table. I stroke the skin of your legs and it feels like I’ve opened a treasure chest I’m so excited, you feel so nice soft and warm. I open your legs missionary and slide the head of my cock tapping it against your wet clit, then slowly dragging it down your folds, pressing hard against your wet outer pussy, then pressing the tip against your pussy entrance. I like teasing you before slowly thrusting inside with what you’ve been waiting for.
Does my cock feel good stretching open your wet pussy, is that what you’ve been waiting for? You hungry little girl. I start thrusting firmly, slowly so you can really feel every single movement of my thick veiny cock dragging against the wet wall of your sensitive pussy. You spread your legs open and rest on your elbows and forearms as I grab the back of your head and pound into you, grabbing your ass with my other hand and getting as deep inside you as I can. I need to feel you cum on my cock. Rub yourself as I fuck you! You place your hand on my chest and stroke down my torso to your pussy as it gets pounded. You can feel the cock sliding in and out, and god it feels good.
Oh that’s nice, I can feel your pussy tighten around my cock, I’ve seen that look of lust on your face before, that loss of control. You’re going to cum on Daddy’s big cock aren’t you? It’s building and building beyond your physical or mental control. It’s going to happen, keep rubbing that wet pleasure button! Well go on then. Cum for Daddy!
You rise up and straddle me, wanting our bodies to feel as close as possible. Holding me tight as I fuck you as you sit on the edge of the table. Pulling me closer to pull yourself onto my cock. Cumming hard over my shaft and moaning loudly like my good little slut. Good girl. Keep cumming for Daddy. When your rhythmic spasms and thrusts stop I lift you down onto your feet on the kitchen floor.
“Suck”
You don’t need to be told twice. You get on your knees like a good girl and eagerly suck on your Daddy’s nice cock. It’s so hard and warm and covered in your juices. I grab your hair and pull it tight pulling your wonderful lips deeper into me. I don’t want you to make me cum. I just enjoy having you on your knees and watching you pleasure me. Be my dirty little girl. Tease the head of my cock by licking it with your devilish tongue. Naughty dirty little girl. I squeeze your breast and pinch your nipples and become very excited at watching my girl worship me.
I lift you up by your arms and bend you over the table. I want to cum inside you so very badly. I’m already extremely close thanks to your naughty sucking. I want to empty a big thick load of cum inside you. I want to shoot deep inside your wanting aching pussy and soothe it. You moan as I enter you again. I’m grabbing you by your hips, thrusting furiously, occasionally slapping your beautiful ass with my angry hand just to make it jiggle and red remind me how beautiful it is. And it’s all mine. Mine to fuck whenever however I want. I feel strong, confident, hard as a rock, I feel powerful. I grab you by the throat again and arch your back as I continue to slam into your pussy like an out of control machine about to explode with pressure. That delicious ass making a slapping sound as it hits my body drives me wild. This time I’m not whispering in your ear.
I’m screaming, “Do you want Daddy’s cum?” Do you? “My filthy whore!” I can feel the tensing climax rising in you again, as the cum boiling inside my balls can hold on no longer and insists on its release.
“Yes!”, you scream, .”Please cum for me Daddy! I need your yummy warm cum!”
Your naughty begging drives me over the edge, and I explode into you as your pussy in return sucks hard on my cock like it never wants to let go.
Cum for me my love. Your screams and moans are my favourite sound. I growl, I moan and sigh in relief as you continue to thrust back against me getting every last stimulation and drop of cum from my cock.
“Good girl!” I gasp, regaining my breath.
Slowly we come to a stop. I can turn you around and look you in your beautiful eyes and say I love you. I fucking love you so much. I hold you tight in complete adoration.
“Good session?” you ask, still panting. You’re so fucking caring I love you.
I smile and reply, “Very good session”.
We stand, hold and kiss each other for several minutes while I drift down from the cloud of pleasure I was floating on.
Source: reddit.com/r/Erotica/comments/lmdz80/m4ftrigger_warningcontains_description_of_mental