Aching for a husband that isn’t mine

I’ve never longed for anything so badly. It started off so innocently. I didn’t want you, didn’t find you attractive in the least. You were just another man, someone else’s husband. Standing there while I struggled to even love my own. You were the last thing I needed.

Slowly you started inserting teasing gestures, silly comments. It had been months. We were friends. I didn’t want them, didn’t accept them. I moved on, switched the subject, brushed it off. I didn’t look forward to your messages, to seeing your stupid unwarranted selfies appear every morning. We talked about things we had in common. You held my attention as you held an excellent, everlasting conversation. I took what I wanted and left the rest.

As my own marriage continued to fall apart, something switched. Your eyes became all I longed for. I dreamt of you. Your attention melted me. I was all the mistakes you hadn’t made, all the ones you wished you had. You were the same for me. I started fantasizing about you with your wife, wishing I were her, or she and I were there together. I wanted you in so many ways, and in any way I could have you.

My hidden stash of your selfies became all I longed for as I touched myself every night. Nothing else would suffice. I stared into your eyes as I imagined your voice, your breath, your hands against my skin. I imagined the way you’d taste. Sometimes you’d be there ‘with me’, guiding me along while you sat at work, telling me everything you would be doing to me if you could. Sometimes I was alone, imagining the things you’d be saying as I forced your head between my thighs, your hair tight in my grip.

You’re married. I try to respect that but I am so infatuated with you that it consumes me. We’ve emotionally and verbally crossed the line so many times but my body aches for you in so many more intimate ways.

I fantasize about your body pushing against me. The way you smell, your hands making their way around my skin. I imagine giving you all the things your wife “isn’t into”, climbing on top of you and showing you how badly I need you, too.

Will letting these fantasies happen take away some of the silent power you have over me? Or will it simply lead to me longing for more of what I’ll never fully have?

Source: reddit.com/r/Erotica/comments/kwkg4h/aching_for_a_husband_that_isnt_mine