My cousin and I used to basically be in an off and on relationship when we were kids. I was 9 years old, she was 8 years old when we started, ended at about the 12 and 11 year mark respectively. A few times after that scattered until first two years of high school. We both struggled with self-esteem issues at that age and both felt very alienated by others, so I think we found a lot of comfort in one another.
We would do things like cuddle together while watching TV, making out while lightly playing with one another. Often we would lie naked under a blanket to cuddle up. Only after the parents had gone to bed of course, usually had free reign to do whatever we wanted. We’d start out clothed, I would kiss her from behind on her neck, her shoulders, always liked brushing her hair behind her ear and telling her how beautiful she was. We’d slowly work our way to taking our pants and underwear off and I’d pull her ass onto me.
I always remember our favorite position being sitting a chair together. She’d sit in my lap and I’d rub her shoulders, her legs, ass. She’d lie her head back onto me, we’d kiss and cuddle. She’d fall asleep on me and I’d hold her head against my chest while she slept and kiss her forehead.
Her and my other cousin would often spend the night at our house and vice versa. My other cousin was my age and he was much more popular than I, I knew at that age he was usually forced to invite me to parties and such. This was confirmed by him explicitly telling the group at one party while I was out of the room, overheard, that he didn’t actually want me there.
I knew this, so I would often go to her room and we would kiss, play with one another, I used to love playing with her nipples. I would lightly lick them while caressing her shoulder and/or neck with my hand. Gripping her ass or rubbing her thigh with my other hand. I vividly remember dripping with precum a few times and her wiping it off with her finger. I wanted to cum so badly with her, but never did. We would often arrange it so she would be the only one spending the night at my house so we could play together.
I started masturbating a young age and I’d found my way to porn on our computer, would always ditch browsing history. Would masturbate six to eight times, sometimes more a day. I’d seen men make women cum. I wanted so badly to make her feel that good.
We knew what we were doing was wrong, but neither of us wanted to stop. I always loved rubbing her ass and her back in those lying down positions. I think it was just a feeling of closeness.
Closest we came to fucking was only three times. Once in a bedroom at a family party. I was playing video games and she came in and sat down. We cuddled into one another for awhile, then I undressed her, playing with her tits. She wanted to undress me so I laid down and she straddled me. Started with my shirt, she continued to straddle me, rocking back and forth. She then went for my pants, but we got interrupted by noise from down the hall a ways and had to quick get redressed.
Next time was on my 11th or 12th birthday. We played hide and seek, which was often an excuse for us to try and be alone. I hid in a closet and she came in, shut the door, sat in my lap and started grinding while I sucked on her neck and squeezed her tits. I got so fucking hard, I wanted her, but again we had to stop to continue the game.
Last time was pretty cut and dry. She laid down on a bed, grabbed my hand and said “Fuck me.” We were probably 13, 12 at this point. If there hadn’t been anyone else in the house that night, I would have. She lifted up her shirt, I played with her nipples and we dry humped like crazy, but I knew we’d get caught. I settled for a pair of her underwear and masturbating later.
Not sure why we never actually fucked, we’d play with each other, but never brought one another to orgasm. I most definitely masturbated to her all the time, especially as we got older and I’d fantasize about a situation of us being alone again so we could do this. She asked me at one point if I’d ever masturbated to her. I told her all the time, she said she still came to the idea of us fucking as well.
Still jerk off to her sometimes to this day. Last time I saw her at a family function, she was wearing this black skirt and black top with her tits slightly showing and pushed up. I went to the bathroom as soon as I could to jerk off to her. I’d still like to arrange something for us to fuck, but I don’t know if this will ever happen unfortunately as I’d like to experience this with her finally. I still masturbate to her and I’ve realized I miss her, possibly always have.
“She’d fall asleep on me and I’d hold her head against my chest while she slept and kiss her forehead.”
She always liked when I’d kiss her forehead and call her my “sweet girl.” I always enjoyed calling her that and telling her how beautiful she was and watching her smile.
Sometimes when she was really down, some sort of body/face dysmorphia, I’d set her down in front of a body mirror, take her hands into mine, wrap my arms around her, hold her tight with her hands tucked under her chin and mine holding them together and make her say at least 5 nice things about herself including that she was beautiful
Fuck <3