Beneath my Mask – Diary of a Slut. Chapter 1 [mf] [oral]

We all wear a mask. An image we project to the others, to the people we know and who know us. We wear a mask to fit into society, to get accepted and respected. For them, we are a rising politician, a housewife, a doctor, a cashier at the local Walmart. Those are all good roles, recognized and uncontroversial. We may even have different masks for different groups of people, a diversity of roles for us to play. But most of them are a lie.

Beneath our masks lies our true self. Our true nature is mostly hidden from the outside looks and it only comes out when we are either alone or when we don’t fear any consequences. The politician paints D&D figurines in his basement. The housewife reads every book on serial killers, fascinated by their psychology. The doctor is on a life-long quest to try out as many drugs as he can while off-duty. The cashier spends her evenings writing smutty stories which she is too afraid to ever publish.

We all wear a mask, and I’m not an exception. For my family, my friends, my colleagues, I’m Laura Thompson, a successful woman in her late 30’s. I have a degree in business and management, a husband, and two kids. I was promoted to deputy head of department in the firm I’m working at, but two years later I decided to leave the career ladder and only work part-time, using the rest of my time to tend to my family and home. I’m an active member of our neighborhood association, always there to help the community. I’m a perfect little cog in the perfect machinery of our perfect society.

Also, I’m a slut. Beneath the suburban facade of happiness and warmth, I’m a cock-craving, ever-horny, leg-spreading slut. I pondered about the right term for a long time and decided that this one fits me the best. I’m not a whore – I don’t demand money for sex, even though some guys tip me on their own. I’m not a nymphomaniac – sex itself is not the thing I need, but of course, I’m the first to admit that I want it more than the average woman. No, I’m a slut – I enjoy offering my body to men (and sometimes women) for them to get off and then go about their lives. I don’t orgasm from penetration or rubbing alone, I climax at the feeling of being used. I don’t expect cuddling or romance after I got fucked – once the guy is satisfied, our ways part.

Does my husband know? Of course, otherwise, he wouldn’t be my husband. What does our life look like? Perfect on the outside, even better on the inside. Our relationship includes a free pass for both of us, an occasional ‘business trip’ by me to another city or even state, and 100% honesty between both of us.

But you’re not here to read about my world-views or my own psychoanalysis of myself, right? You want to hear some smut, to read about my adventures. You want to get off while I perform a mental striptease, while I offer you not my body but my memories. In a way, this is another way for me to be a slut.

***

When did it all begin? It’s hard to pinpoint the exact time when I first saw myself as a slut, but I know that it was in college. Of course, I wasn’t a virgin by the time I hugged my parents good-bye for the next few months and got on a plane to another state. I already had two ex-boyfriends and the according sexual experience that came with being a normal 19 y.o. girl. Still, I never had any sexual contacts outside of relationships. I also had no idea that it was about to change in less than 24 hours, while I looked out of the window at the passing clouds, glimmering orange in the early sunrise.

The journey was as eventless as one could wish for. The plane landed; I hailed a taxi which brought me to the college campus; I found the dormitory and my dorm room; I unpacked my luggage. The clock showed half-past 2 p.m. when I closed the last drawer and looked around. The place wasn’t much, but my parents saved enough money to afford a one-person room with its own little bathroom for me. The bed was broad enough for one person to sleep comfortably in, the cupboard offered just enough space for me to put my clothes and shoes inside. A desk with a chair and a small flat-screen on the wall rounded it all up. The bathroom was similarly spartan – a sink, a WC, and a shower all crammed together.

Only then did it hit me. I was alone! This little apartment, these four walls that could awaken claustrophobia – I was alone there! No one would disturb me, no one would judge me, no one would even see me here! Even though my parents were far from being strict, I remember how heady this little gulp of freedom made me. I felt like I had two shots of tequila followed by a shot of whiskey and I did the only sensible thing I could do at that moment – I fell down on my bed and laughed for ten minutes straight.

The rest of the day was equally boring as the journey. After I calmed myself down enough, I walked around the campus and the block to get accustomed to my new life there. On my journey, I discovered that there was a party at my dormitory to welcome the freshmen and immediately decided to attend it.

As night fell down and the sound of music started to penetrate the thin walls of the building, I picked my clothes and looked one more time in the mirror. My slightly curly, jet black hair fell down freely all the way to my waist, with a few hairpins on my head to keep them somewhat under control. I put a minor amount of make-up on my face, mostly to accentuate my green eyes and my lips. My torso was clad in a navy shirt with a rather liberal cleavage, just enough to attract attention to my firm B-cup chest, but not enough to be inappropriate. The skirt a similar shade of blue snuggled around my round hips, reached down to just above my knees and showed most of my tanned legs. On my feet, I put a pair of black stringy sandals with a modest heel, my accurate pedicure visible through them. Some glitter on my fingernails, a bracelet on my right wrist, and a golden thin necklace finished my outfit. I winked to my reflection and left my room, following the music.

All in all, the party was exactly how one would expect a college party is. Bunch of people, bunch of booze, loud music. Since the party was mainly aimed at freshmen, they made up most of the population in the dark room, but there were also a handful of older guys and girls, mixing among the newcomers.

Being a social person, I had no problems when it came to building contacts with others and the alcohol surely helped. I moved from one end of the room to another, exchanged some words with different people, and nodded enthusiastically whenever someone offered to refill my cup. I wasn’t a lightweight but I soon discovered that a college party was on a whole other level when it came to alcohol. Even though the wide desk at one wall was full of beer bottles, multiple bottles of harder liquor made the rounds around the room, being passed from one person to another. At some point, I got a bottle with some clear liquid pressed into my hand and took two hearty gulps out of it to the cheerful chants ‘drink, drink, drink!’ around me.

Two or three hours passed and I was in the wonderful intoxicated state where every idea sounds great and even the lamest jokes appear funny. The faces around me were almost familiar by now, but then I found myself in front of a guy I couldn’t remember seeing before. Or maybe I saw him but already forgot about it, it didn’t really matter to me at that point. What mattered was the way he looked like. I never had a special type of man I felt attracted to – in fact, both my ex-boyfriends looked as different from each other as possible – but something about his whole appearance made me glue my eyes to him. I don’t know whether it was his dirty blond hair with the ‘I lost my comb and don’t care’ hairdo, his three-days beard, or his piercing black eyes. Or, probably, his clothes: his shirt and pants were more fit to be alone at home than at a party. Later, I discovered that the longer one lived the student life, the less one cared about what to wear to a party. But for now, I was taken aback by the confidence this stranger radiated while looking like he took the wrong turn on the way to his room.

He chatted me up. I can’t remember his name, probably something with an ‘A’, at least this is how I call him in my mind. It wasn’t the first time a guy was hitting on me, but it was the first time someone did it as A. did. It wasn’t even really hitting up, he just kept talking with me as if we were already best friends, and at some point, he caressed my shoulder and asked whether I wanted to dance. My mind fogged up by alcohol and his unprecedented confidence, I nodded and let him pull me to the improvised dance floor where we began to move our bodies rhythmically. Well, at least that’s what it felt like in my state, but since everyone around us was similarly drunk it didn’t matter how it really looked like.

We kept dancing and the distance between us dwindled with every passing song. Eventually, I had my arms around his neck while he held me by my waist and more than once my hip brushed against his pants. Whenever it happened, I could feel the tension inside. I was neither a virgin nor a little girl, I knew exactly what I felt. Usually, I would never go as far as that. Dancing with a guy was okay for me back in high-school, grinding against his hard-on was a line I never crossed. But the alcohol, the feeling of freedom, and A’s self-assurance made this line blur.

“Want to go to my room?” he asked me at some point, his lips almost kissing my ear.

I wasn’t dumb, I knew exactly what he wanted and it surely wasn’t to show me his stamp collection. It wasn’t the first offer I ever received – back in my hometown, there were always one or two guys at a party who would try to take me with them. But I never agreed to anything like that. Not only because I didn’t want to get a reputation, but also because I knew that my parents wouldn’t be too happy with that. But they weren’t here right now. For all they knew, I was in my bed right now, fast asleep. They would never know. I looked A. in the eyes and nodded, biting my lip. A glimmer in his eyes, he took me by my hand and I followed him through the moving and dancing crowd, out of the hot room.

The way to his room got lost in the alcoholic blur and the next thing I remember was him closing the door behind after we entered. A. pressed the light switch but I was in no state to look around his room. With the same confidence he displayed on the dance floor, he took me with one hand by my waist and gently grabbed with the other the back of my head. Without much effort, he pressed my back against the wall and lowered his head to kiss my neck and the place behind my ear. Fuck, since when was this a sensitive spot of mine?

“Mmhmm… Oh shit…” I moaned and dug my fingers into his shoulders. His lips moved up and down my neck and once in a while he carefully bit me, forcing more moans out of me. My knees got weak and my legs shook, making it harder for me to stand. It took me some moments to realize that it wasn’t so much the lust doing it to me, but A’s hand on my shoulder pushing me down. I looked into his face and he only smirked at me, nodding in approval. My better judgment was buried by the alcohol while I slowly sank to my knees until my face was on the same level as the visible bulge in his pants. Acting on an instinct, I fumbled with the button and the zipper and half a minute later I pulled the pants to his thighs, together with the underwear.

A’s cock jumped out and the tip hit my nose. I squinted and heard A. chuckling as he placed his hand on top of my head. He wasn’t really pushing me, but I still felt an aura of dominance, a silent demand to get to business. The thought that I knew the guy for less than two hours tried to force its way into my mind, but I ignored it and wrapped my fingers around the shaft. I stuck my tongue out and gave the hard flesh in my hand a gentle lick from down to the top. As I reached the tip, I held my tongue pressed against it and gave it a kiss. A’s moan of approval was enough for me to continue and I wrapped my lips around the first inch of his dick. My tongue swirled around the tip. The first drop of precum escaped the tiny hole and A. pulled my head closer towards his body.

I knew how to give a blowjob – I trained on my boyfriends and they always gave me tips on how to improve. But none of them was ever active during it. I always chose the pace at which I wanted to continue on my own. But A. was different. His hand didn’t leave my head and even though he wasn’t rough, he still controlled me, subtly but definitively. He left me enough freedom to give an illusion of control, but deep inside I knew that if I would stop he would force my head to continue. I didn’t mind. I wanted to suck him and if anything, his confidence only turned me on.

Minutes passed and neither of us said a word, only the slurps and the occasional gag from my performance punctured the silence of his dorm room. At some point, I looked up, hopeful to see him smiling, or just to just check whether he was enjoying himself. But I sure as hell wasn’t prepared for him to be on his phone! One of his hands still on my head, moving it back and forth, he held his smartphone in his other hand and by the look of it typed a text, grinning. Offended by this lack of attention, I tried to move my head away, to get up, and to tell him my piece of mind, but all of a sudden he gripped my hair and kept my head in place.

“Keep going,” he said without even looking away from his phone.

As I still refused to continue, he began to push, to really push, with my hair in his fist, until I followed his lead. If I were less drunk, maybe I would still be able to resist him, maybe I would be able to gather enough of his attention to tell him that it was over. But my mind was too foggy and so I kept going, bobbing my head back and forth, pleasing a guy who didn’t even pay me any attention at the moment. I remember thinking: ‘Maybe it’s something important, maybe it’s his parents’. The fact that his parents would hardly text him at three in the morning was overpowered by the wish to finish the job. After all, he would hardly be on his phone once we both would get naked, right?

I knew that A’s orgasm came closer as his cock in my hand twitched. I cupped his balls with my free hand and felt how they moved, tensing up and getting closer to his body. At the same time, his grip on my hair strengthened again, but instead of moving my head, he thrust with his hips. Disoriented at first, I quickly adjusted and kept my head in place. To help A., I wrapped my lips tighter against his manhood and squeezed his testicles with one hand while the other jerked his shaft gently whenever it wasn’t inside my mouth.

He groaned and moaned, his hips moving jerkily until he thrust for the last time, so deep that my nose got buried in his pubic area. With a final moan of satisfaction, he came into my mouth. A powerful load of warm thick cum darted out of his tip and hit me straight in the back of my throat, making me gag and cough. A. didn’t care, he kept my head in place while his dick shot load after load of his semen in my mouth and I frantically swallowed it, afraid to make a mess.

Eventually, A. let go of my hair and I could pull my head back. As I let the now slimy rod out of my mouth, it twitched one final time and a little thin rope of white goo landed on my cheek. Still on my knees, I looked up at A., panting.

“Thank you, babe!” he smiled down at me and patted my head as if I was a puppy who just performed a trick.

I expected… well, I don’t know what exactly I expected, but surely not him zipping up his pants and turning around. I watched in shock as he leaped onto his bed, his smartphone still in his hand. My eyes wide open, I looked at him for a good twenty seconds before the first words came out of my mouth:

“That’s… that’s all? We won’t do anything more?” I asked, dumbfounded.

“No,” was A’s simple answer. “I’m too tired, I don’t think I can manage another round. You’ll find your way back, right?”

The simple audacity of him was overwhelming and it took me another twenty seconds to process the whole situation. Finally, I got up to my feet and walked out of his room, slamming the door behind me. I boiled with rage and I don’t know how much time it took me to find my way back to my room. Once inside, all I could do was to throw myself down on the bed, still in my clothes, and as soon as my head touched the pillow I drifted off to a deep, dreamless sleep.

***

It was almost noon when I woke up the next morning and I needed some time to remember why I still had my clothes from the day before on. Absentmindedly I touched my face and felt something crusty on my right cheek. Confused, I peeled it off and examined it for a moment before the memories from the last night hit me all at once. Party. Dancing. A. His room. Me on my knees. ‘Thank you, babe’. It all came crashing onto my mind and I closed my eyes, wishing to die right on the spot.

A minor hangover in my head and a feeling of utter disgust with myself, I crawled out of my bed and staggered over to the bathroom where I got rid of my clothes and entered the small shower cabin. The hot water from above made me grunt in some way of relaxation, but unfortunately, it couldn’t wash my memories away. Whenever I closed my eyes, the events from last night appeared in my mind.

A. kissing my neck. The shaky feeling in my knees. Me blowing him while he was distracted by his phone. My ambition to get him off before we would go to serious business. Him walking away from me once he finished in my mouth. The feeling of utter shame and… and something else… something familiar…

“Oooooh…” my own moan made me jerk up and forced me to come back to reality. I looked around and then down, just to realize that for the last five minutes my hand was between my legs. My fingers fondled my labia and spread the outer lips apart to reveal my little clit. Although hidden by a thin hood, it still got stimulated by my thumb, the digit moving in a circular motion while it pressed against the pebble.

I tried to stop, but then my mind showed me once again the image of A. holding his phone while I blew him, and I kept going. My hand moved faster and faster as I penetrated myself with two fingers. My thumb still on my clit, I pressed against it from inside of my pussy, pinching it hard, and with a howl of ecstasy, I sank down onto the shower floor. My body spasmed and I’m sure that I passed out for half a second while the orgasm rippled in waves through me.

When I finally came back to my mind, the whole bathroom was full of steam from the hot water. I pushed all the thoughts aside and finished my shower, determined to forget this experience as soon as possible.

For the upcoming week, I did quite well when it came to forgetting the after-party-events. I didn’t see A. at all around the dormitory or the campus and as soon as the classes began I simply had no time or mental capacities to think about him anymore. As far as I was concerned, this was one of the less pleasant experiences and one of those mistakes that I would learn from.

Boy, was I wrong.

***

Knock-knock-knock.

The knocking on my door made me look up from my desk where I tried to solve yet another math problem – some professors weren’t nice at all to the freshmen around here. I wondered who that could be. Sure, I’ve already made some new acquaintances around here, but we weren’t at the knock-at-9-pm-at-your-door phase yet.

Knock-knock-knock.

“Coming!” I shouted back and got up from my chair. Maybe it was the hall monitor with some urgent info? Or was it really one of my new friends, in dire need of something?

As it turned out, my mysterious guest was A. As soon as I saw his blond hair and black eyes, my first reaction was to close the door upon him, but he seemed to expect this reaction for he put his foot in front of the door.

“Go away!” I hissed and tried, again and again, to shut the door close, bumping it against his leg.

“Wait, wait! Let me come in, please,” his voice was soft and he held the door open. Ignoring my hissing and the daggers that shot out of my eyes, he pushed himself inside.

His boldness left me speechless. He behaved like he was the most welcome guest here and he smiled at me in a way he would smile at his best friend. I looked back at him, my fists clenched. Something in my mind poked at me, something that tried to push its way through my anger.

“What. Do. You. Want?!” I asked.

“Well, honestly, the same as last time,” he shrugged and my mouth fell open. He didn’t… did he?

“You… what?”

“Same as last time,” A. repeated. “Look, I’ve been on a dry spell last month, and you were a nice change compared to what I had before. So, I thought that maybe you would like to help me out one more time.”

Was he for real? Did he just really propose that I suck him off again, just… just because I was a ‘nice change’? He wasn’t even asking!

‘It was somehow nice the last time, wasn’t it?’ an inner voice chimed in.

“Hell no!” I said loud and pointed to the door. “Now go away!”

“Oh come on, don’t be all uptight, babe!” A. smirked and took a step towards me. Without hesitation he lifted his hand and caressed my shoulder, gently scratching it with his fingernails. “I know, last time was kind of fast, but this time I’ll return the favor.”

I took a step back and shook his hand off, but he came closer again and this time his hand was on my waist. With the other, he brushed a curl of hair from my face and kept looking at me, a head taller than me.

‘He is kind of sexy, isn’t he?’ the inner voice spoke up again. ‘Come on, it will be fun! It’s college life, baby!’

“Hmpf… My answer is still ‘No’!” I was determined to do the right thing, even though I felt the familiar sensation of attraction I felt at the party – and I wasn’t even drunk this time!

“You do look cute when you try to be angry, do you know that?” A. asked with his self-satisfied grin on his lips and before I could do anything his lips were once again on my neck, nibbling on it.

“Mmmhm…” this time, the shaking in my knees didn’t come from his hands on my shoulders. The son of a bitch managed to arouse me with his kisses alone while his hands pressed me against his body. “Nngh… okay… fine… One time only…” I replied, my common sense once more getting stabbed in the back by my lust.

“Cool. Now, how about we continue where we left?” he stopped kissing my neck and walked over to my bed. With the attitude of someone who owned the place he unbuckled and opened his pants, pulled them down to his ankles, and sat down on the edge, his knees spread wide.

It wasn’t normal how he behaved. He didn’t ask, he didn’t propose, he simply did! He sat there, on my bed, and just expected me to kneel before him and blow him. No, he didn’t even expect it, he looked as if he knew that I was going to do it!

And I actually did. Part of me still screamed that it was wrong, that I should stop while I still could, but I ignored it. Mesmerized by A’s behavior, I came near my bed and went on my knees. With a second of reluctance, I took his half-flaccid cock in my hand again and closed my lips around it.

A week before I wouldn’t even consider blowing a guy just… just because he asked for it. But here I was now, working my mouth on the rod of an almost stranger. It didn’t take his dick long to get hard in my mouth and soon my head was bobbing up and down again, just like it did the last time. This was so wrong, so perverted, so out of character for me… and yet I couldn’t help but feel aroused.

Just like the last time, I felt the approach of A’s orgasm by the twitch of his cock. I wanted to prolong the act for some time and slowed my head down which seemed to please him for he stroked my hair in a gentle manner, again making me feel like a good puppy. The whole situation was as intoxicating as alcohol and soon I lost myself in the act. I forgot about the way A. sent me back home, how he ignored me the last time… until his phone rang.

“Keep going,” he said curtly and once again placed his hand on the top of my head. Ignoring my angry gaze at him – probably dampened a bit by the fact that I was still sucking on his cock – he answered the phone.

“Ey, bro, ‘sup? Yeah, no, it’s alright,” he spoke to someone on the other end of the line. “Noooo way! Seriously? Nice, bro, nice! When? Damn, cool, man! Let’s see… yeah, will be there in ten. K, see ya!” He hung up and looked down at me, with what was supposed to be an apologetic smile.

“Sorry, babe, looks like I have to take a rain check. Come on, finish the job, I gotta run!” he spoke to me and one more time I was outraged by the sheer impudence of his words.

Determined to not let him go away with it a second time, I tried to stop the blowjob, but he wasn’t having any of this. Without hesitation, he grabbed my hair again and began to move my head for me. He wasn’t rough, but he wasn’t gentle either. He ignored my gagging and coughing until he pushed my head down for the last time and disposed more of his sperm in my throat. After his climax subsided, A. pushed my head away from his crotch and got up to his feet. Not even a minute later his pants were back up and closed, he gave me a small kiss on my temple, and with the words ‘See ya later, babe!’ he was out of my room.

As soon as the door behind him closed, I slumped down on the floor and kept laying there, my heart pounding. This didn’t just happen. This couldn’t just happen. No way I let this happen! But the faint taste of sperm in my mouth told me otherwise.

I did it again. I fell for him again, I let him use my mouth and let him get away with it.

‘And you liked it, didn’t you?’ the unnerving inner voice asked me but I refused to reply to it. Not that I had to – it was my inner voice, it already knew the answers. Something inside me liked what happened. Something about the whole situation was alluring, if not to say arousing. Something in my brain told me that I wouldn’t mind doing it again.

I felt my hand slithering inside my pants, and I didn’t try to stop it.

Source: reddit.com/r/sexystories/comments/k3h8qf/beneath_my_mask_diary_of_a_slut_chapter_1_mf_oral