The Depths of Longing [F/M] [Trigger Warning: Suicide Attempt]

-1-

Clouds silently flow overhead, their dark foreboding shape a warning to the mass of humanity far below. Below the clouds but far above the world stands a woman; her feet are together and her back strait, she has her eyes closed. She is unmoving her body ridged, face calm and bare skin smooth even in the chill air.

She stands naked but for her hat, it’s wide brim of woven straw shading her face. She stands tall legs long and toned no marks or imperfections marring her figure. Her body is a consistent pale tone with no sights of blemish or tan. She has her long arms hanging loose by her side fingers slightly curved. Her chest doesn’t move, breasts still and her small nipples flat.

Far above a crack of thunder sounds and she opens her eyes. Looking out over the endless city below, her deep purple eyes gloss over the view. She closes her eyes again as they are covered by her long green hair, it flows down her back stopping just before her small round ass. Body relaxed it holds its shape unnaturally just like the curve to her large breasts.

She feels her hair moved by the quickening breeze, brushing over her face and back. The second bang from the sky comes and the world holds its breath. Besides her feet a small pile of clothing is disturbed by a rush of air which rushes up her body causing her hat to quiver.

A flash of light illuminates her vision through closed eyes and she is ready. She reaches up in one graceful movement, her right hand grasps the brim of her summer hat and without disturbing her hair pulls it free from her head. She holds it out before her and lets her fingers open.

The hat steadily falls, it is caught by the winds and is buffered about as it descends. Soon it is falling far from view as the now strong winds take it far off over the city. A faint smile forms on the woman’s lips as her hand closes around empty air and then falls back to her side.

Her arms barely touch her wide hips as she stands in wait for her moment. A louder crash of thunder comes from overhead and it is close. She feels a mix of emotions none of which are shown to the world. Her posture is defiant and as the winds begin to mess her hair she stands fast.

The sent of the storm is strong and the pressure has changed, she knows it is time and looks up her eyes opening. A bright streak of lighting arches across the sky, and her keen eyes follow its path as the clap comes moments later. She smiles wide and the first drop of rain falls to the concrete besides her. More drops come the sound of impact loud in her ears.

She reaches out her arms to the sides palms up and she feels the first drops land on her hands. She watches a perfect drop fall, it comes closer and past her vision, she feels its cold impact between her breasts. She feels another land on her cheek and smiling wide she falls back.

Her legs kick off form the wall and she is falling backwards away from the lip of the building. In moments she sees the roof above her as she falls towards the world below.

**-2-**

She watches the rain as she falls, it slowly moves past her vision. Little perfect drops of water each containing its own reflection of the world she despises. The flow of air whips her hair up about her head as she leans back her body relaxing her arms and legs catching the air. She feels it flow through her fingers and around her body. A stream tickles at her exposed body but she relaxes into the fall and watching the rain she remembers.

A drop of rain hits her lips and she is sent back almost fifty years.

She pulls back from his lips her tongue moving over her own tasting his lingering presence. He smiles at her wide and genuine and she smiles back. A hand touches her face, warm and rough she looks down her own hands small and limp. She fights back tears as he comes in again his warm lips touching hers.

She closes her eyes as his tongue enters her mouth and they lock tougher his hand running through her short blond hair. She trembling lifts a hand and rests it on his bare chest. He is warm and his skin is bumpy to her touch, she feels every hair run past her fingertips and she stops when a finger comes up against his hard nipple.

They kiss for a while and she lets her hand move up to his face. She feels his short beard in a smart ring around his mouth. They break off but still they hold to each other and look into the others eyes, she gazes deep into his dark eyes. A black hole circled by a vibrant blue, she sees the pupil grow larger muscles pulling and the hues shifting. She is lost in the moment as he speaks.

His words calm and wonderful fill her with joy. Before being able to reply she licks her lips. The cool and clean drop of water tastes of him and when another rain drop splashes against her lip she smiles, his memory a warm comfort as she falls.

**-3-**

The roof is retreating away almost lost from sight as she falls steadily towards the ground. She watches the streak of lightning race from the sky its messy path travelled in an instant. It strikes the roof in a flash followed by its mighty bang. Sparks fade and her vision returns to normal as the shock wave hits.

She feels her hair vibrate at the static and her body glows with the sensation of heavenly power. She is taken back again her body reminded of the pleasure of instant sensation.

She lays face buried into a soft pillow her eyes closed her body naked and waiting. She hears all the moment behind her and she relaxes as a hand softly touches her back. He is behind her and she just waits in position her legs under her and leaning down. Her bare skin feels every breath and she knows he is leaning over her.

His touch becomes hard both hands on her hips, she hears the bed creak as he rests his weight behind her ass. She is more than ready for him and the wait soon comes to an end. His hips press against her soft ass his cock rubbing under her pussy. Its length warm and hard, she wants him inside her.

Her face hidden she blushes deep as his cock slides back his hands griping tight. It slides away from her leaving her sensitive pussy waiting. A pressure on her hips give warning as a point presses against her. It is pushing her apart and begins to slide in.

Her body reacts as his cock enters her its head at first opening her up. The feeling of fullness comes and then expands. His cock slides in further; her crotch feeling every movement, every pulsing vain. She relaxes into him and he slides in further.

The feeling of her first time is like a bomb exploding, she rocks as he slides his full length inside her. A body of pure joy, she radiates the sensation and longs to live in the moment forever. She has her moment of relief and joy as her pussy welcomes her lover in deep. Smiling into the pillow she rocks her hips back the waves of pleasure a deep internal wonder. His hands leave her hips and his cock begins to slide back.

She is in love and the deep thrust that comes sends her in a spiral of lust. The slap of his body against her is music to her ears. She feels his presence inside and out and she lives in the moment.

The dark is snatched away by a blinding flash as she falls deep into the dankness. The second strike hits where she had stood not long before, the building growing smaller as she descends.

The sound of the thunder an echo of his love and their shared lust. She looks at the building as its lights dim, a wave of darkness falling faster than she is.

**-4-**

She watches the building descend into darkness as its lights fail. She falls now in darkness as all around her buildings go dark. The world is briefly illuminated from above as another bolt of lightning moves across the sky.

She looks along her body its features cast in a harsh light that fades as a rumble comes from above. She looks past her breasts to her stomach and crotch, her body pure and perfect. She looks away up to the turbulent clouds.

Her body is fully wet rain splashing off her slick skin. Her eyes stare upwards as she falls ever further, the shapes in the clouds a random but steadying comfort. Her legs bend forwards arms out reaching back up grabbing at the air. She is bent over her body supple and curved, her flexibility a long used trait.

She is holding her leg up by her head other hand on the wall, she looks back over her shoulder as he puts his hands on her breasts, cock rubbing against her pussy. She lets out a quiet moan as he enters her and fingers pressing on her chest. He presses against her and she holds on to her leg allowing him easy access.

She hooks her feet together her legs holding him tight. She lets him lean on her chest her breasts pressing against him. She hugs him tight as his hips move his thick cock sliding back and forth in her. She feels his back muscles tense and he breaths heavy as they embrace.

She presses her palms on the floor between her feet. Her breasts hang slightly her long red hair touching the floor. She rocks as his cock presses against her ass, holding firm the pressure mounts… then he is in. She lets out a long moan and his hands rest on her hips as he thrusts deep into her ass.

She looks down his cock hard in his hand she rests her hands on her head and bending knees she is ready to take him. Her pussy lowers as her back arches and she feels him press against her. She sinks fast his full length taken in an instant. She runs her fingers through her blond hair mouth open and legs wide.

She looks down over the rail her hands firmly griping as her body shakes. Being pounded from behind her breasts wobble hanging over the water. She sees her reflection, pale skin shrouded by pink hair her face a picture of pleasure as he fucks her hard. She adjusts her footing with all four limbs on the rail as his hips slam into her.

She looks up and closes her eyes. She knows it is almost time and moving her arms out she straitens her legs but still bent at the waist. Wind curves about her as a crack of thunder sounds. Then she hits.

**-5-**

The floor breaks around her. She begins to sink, water consuming her body only her head and arms in the air. She looks to the sky vision filled with white and she sinks water filling her mouth, her fingers close around the last grasp of air.

She sees only black her body sinking further into the abyss. Water flows into her nose and mouth she relaxes letting her body be consumed. Her body flattens out hair fanning around her and she falls further sill. The flashes from above barley penetrate the surface her fall is almost at its end.

Water bounces off the glass and she closes her eyes listening to the sound. It mixes with the hum of the car and she drifts off. A touch on her arm causes her to stir and she see him in half light his features changed but still the man she loves. They smile and their fingers interlock.

His warm touch a solid comfort for their journey. They sit in silence listening to the taps on the glass and the odd set of lights illuminate them as they drive. They don’t let go, their hands locked together the touch a necessity. Darkness reigns for long stretches and again she dozes off her eyes closing but she keeps her grip tight.

She staves off dreams as she balances her state, she doesn’t want to sleep and miss on their time together. She opens her mouth to speak but never gets the words out.

A crunch, her body moves but the car has stopped. She holds tight his warm and rough hand her lifeline. She is wet, rain falls on her white dress and plasters her black hair to her face. She looks about but the darkness defeats her. A panic runs through her body and her hand squeezes tight. The is no response.

She looks down and a flash of headlights moves over her. Red and brown patches spot her dress. She screams. Her head falls back and she squeezes his hand hard. His flesh is cold.

A flash of light runs over her, she is knelt over him his body in ruin. The light comes back a person approaches but stops when their light falls on her. She screams and falls onto him still holding his hand in hers.

Her back touches soft sand and moments later her head rests on the sea floor. Her eyes still open look at the black of the pressing abyss. Her arms and legs settle her body doesn’t move. She has landed.

**-6-**

Nothing. No light or sound comes to her and she doesn’t care for them.

She rests her body still and silent. Looking at the nothing of the world around her she studies the fruit of her work. Her mind still races but with nothing to set her off she doesn’t remember.

Time must pass but with no reference she doesn’t know how long and she doesn’t care. Her life is stable her surroundings unchanging and she lays back dead to the world.

No spark in the brain, to touch of life and no time to morn. Her existence is here and she is alone. She hates it. Always alone and always scared. She remembers him.

His lips leave hers and a tear runs down his face. She wipes it away, it is warm and she rubs her fingers together. He smiles and they kiss again. Her hand finds his and they hold tight, his warmth telling her he is still there.

He is speaking but she just hears noises, her body is overloading her mind on fire and she trembles. He stops and pulls her into a warm hug. He whispers comfort into her ear and she breaks down. Her tears fall cold onto his shoulder. His large hand rubs her back and they both cry their share.

She can’t make out his words, he is distant, voice soft and smothered. She blinks the tears away her hair falling over eyes she lets go and wiping her face sits back down. They sit in the silence before they depart on their last journey.

The dark is all about her and she cries. Her tears lost in the sea sadden her and she breaks. Her face contorts and she screams. It is lost to the water her mouth opening but sound smothered. She rocks about disturbing the sand her limbs flailing about. Their movement held back by the weight of the water is impotent.

She stills her body settling back down, her cure is worse than her pain.

A voice calls out to her. Eyes wide she struggles head moving about, it is dark and empty but she fights. Standing she listens. Where? She starts to swim.

She rises slowly her body stiff and her mind a ruin of emotions. She pushes hard, her body straining against the elements. She rises her devotion battling with her terror. Her eyes strain and the black gives way to blue. She battles her way upwards closing her eyes and she collects her resolve.

The voice is louder, words that are lost to her. She wants them.

Her fingers feel nothing, she gives a final push her head breaking the surface water running away. She opens her eyes and blight light fills them. Sound returns to her and she hears him.

“***You must go on without me. My love is in your heart; it will be with you to the end*****.”**

A crash comes and the light fades. Rain hits her face as she lays back body floating among the waves. The storm rages on its fury beating down at the world. She looks at its anger and its power and she remembers her own. In the end all her anger and strength is nothing beside her love.

She smiles to herself and understands, her strength wasn’t to save him but to save herself.

-Fin-

Source: reddit.com/r/Erotica/comments/j35ibg/the_depths_of_longing_fm_trigger_warning_suicide