My first foray into erotic writing: A simple story about getting deepthroated

*Hi everyone, I wrote this at the request of somebody I met at dirtykikpals. He really loves it so far, but I’d love to hear what you experienced erotica readers think. Please give me criticism. It’s MF, from the M perspective*

A simple story about getting deepthroated:

(Part 1: initiation) She enters the room. You look up at her, arms behind your head, sitting in a chair with your legs spread wide. She smiles and so do you. She idles timidly, unsure of herself, so you cock one eyebrow and gesture downward with a tilt of your head. Now with permission, she approaches you, standing before you between your legs. She looks down to see that you’re wearing only underwear, tightly pulled against your skin, a massive bulge pressing hard against the fabric. Her heart flutters at the sight of it and she kneels before you, raising one hand to rest on your heavy package. She looks up at you with a smile on her face that makes your cock twitch with anticipation. You give her an approving nod.

She begins to stroke your meat through the cloth but she can’t wait much longer; she reaches her hand through your fly, grasping the amazing girth of your soft cock, savoring how it feels in her hand and pulling it from it’s confinement. Your junk spills out from the hole and flops heavily against your body. Your substantial soft cock is resting against your balls, your full manhood exposed to her hungry presence. She licks her lips.

(Part 2: Build)
You look down at the young thing who’s about to worship your manhood, knelt between your thighs. Your cock is about to make her a woman. You relax deeper into the chair to prepare yourself for the coming pleasure, adjusting yourself slightly and causing your package to sway in front of her face like a heavy pendulum. She reaches both hands up, cupping your balls to steady them, admiring how large you are even while soft.

At her touch your cock starts to swell and move, rolling across your balls as it attempts the stand. She takes her chance to lean in and plant a kiss directly on your swelling head, extending her tongue to lick gently around your foreskin. You let out a shudder at the touch of her warm tongue against your cock, your beast beginning to accelerate it’s expansion, blood pumping rapidly through the veins in your cock. Your head begins to free itself from the cover of your foreskin, pushing out into the air. She opens her mouth and gently takes it into her warmth where it belongs, feeling it swell again inside of her.

As she gently sucks the tip of your cock you release a soft moan, galvanizing her effort to please your growing monster. At last your cock reaches its full size, throbbing and beating to the rhythm of your heart, veins bulging as it strains to reach deeper inside her mouth. It intimidates her slightly, the power and strength of your cock becoming clear in her mind as she resolves to do everything in her power to supply you with the pleasure your beast deserves. She pulls away briefly to admire it in its true form, rigid and towering above her face, allowing it to slap gently against her cheek while she smiles up at you. You can see that your cock makes her look tiny while it’s resting against her face. You close your eyes and lean back.

She rises to the tip and takes it in her mouth once again, this time deeper than before slowly lowering until it contacts the back of her throat. She gags a little as it fills her whole mouth, lips pressed firmly around your shaft, your entire head inside of her. The gag feel good and you want more, so you softly thrust your hips, attempting to break through the barrier. She chokes again and pulls up for air, immediately plunging herself down on it again after. This time it passes through her throat and deep into her neck, half of your length inside her, causing her slender neck to bulge with its heavy mass.

She holds it there, swallowing around it as she attempt not to choke on you, inadvertently massaging your thick head with her throat muscles. Eventually she does choke, pulling away, your cock sliding smoothly from her throat now covered in her saliva. A string of it connects your monster to her lips.

“Good girl” you say. “Further this time.”
She leans in again with an open mouth but this time you reach down, taking her by the back of the head, thrusting your alpha meat down her loosened throat. You keep pushing her down until her lips reach your base, causing her to choke violently around your cock, now completely inside of her neck. You hold her there, feeling the sensation against your cock, moaning loudly as waves or pleasure erupt from your head, travelling along your shaft and into your body. You finally let go and she pulls back quickly desperate for air. Even on the way out of her throat it feels amazing, your cock slithering from the den that it just made for itself. Finally, it’s completely out of her mouth. She gasps for air, eyes full of tears, thick strands of saliva and mucus coating the complete length of your cock and dripping to the floor. Now that you’ve broken her in, it’s time for the real fun to begin.

Source: reddit.com/r/sexystories/comments/iwbkwn/my_first_foray_into_erotic_writing_a_simple_story