I’ve used a dildo before, but this time I fantasized that it was real. A real penis of flesh and blood.
I wanted to touch it. To hold its weight in my hand. To play with its skin.
I imagine a scene for myself.
When I try to picture the body of the penis’ owner my thoughts don’t fully crystallize, just loose thoughts of muscle and skin.
I’m fixated on the groin. On the shape of this penis. It’s beautiful. It’s majestic and grand.
My mouth waters at the sight of it. I want it.
I’m nervous.
I visualize I’m kneeled down. I tremble before him, offer myself to him, ready to obey his every command.
I want to be owned by him, to be embraced by him, to feel him inside of me.
I want him to listen when I tell him to take it slow. I want him to ravish me when I let him.
I press his penis to my lips, and I savour this moment.
I’m about to enter a new realm of sexual desire.
My heart is racing. I’m so ready for this.
I let him enter with a movement smooth as silk.
He clenches and throbs in excitement, for me to experience in vivid detail.
I feel every irregularity of his shape, every one of his veins.
I taste him. I moan.
I’m moving myself up and down his shaft, trying to envelop all of him in my mouth.
He’s large. I feel his mass displace my tongue and cheek, touch the roof of my mouth and the back of my throat.
I love it. I want to know I’m doing it right. I want this to be the best blowjob he’s ever had.
I’m proud to be his eager little cocksucker.
At some point he will come. I shrudder. My knees go weak at the thought of it.
How it will feel to have his warm cum gush out over my tongue and swim around in my mouth.
I would so greedily receive his pleasure.
I don’t yet know what it tastes like. How it feels when it slides through my throat into my stomach.
I want to find out.
I want it so bad. I must give it my everything.
I close my eyes and take him deeper inside me. His tip is now pushing the back of my throat.
I relax my throat to accomodate him, and push him in for just a second, but it’s too much.
Involuntarily I recoil. I gag, convulse, and must catch my breath again.
I’m shocked. That was really hard. Awful, even.
An aftershock of my convulsion races through my body.
It actually feels a little nice.
‘That was really intense’, I reflect. ‘I kind of want to do it again’.
I’m foaming at the lips with a mixture of precum and saliva. A droplet forms and rolls down my chin. I decide to leave it there.
After my breath I take him in for another round. I press him to the back of my throat, relax, and take him in. Slightly deeper this time.
I feel circumference of my throat violently widen, pushed aside by cock.
I hope the pressure feels good to him. I hope it feels nice and wet and warm.
Oh god help me I love to perform deepthroat.
It’s exhilirating. Adrenaline rushes through my every vein.
Another convulsion. I tense up and completely relax at the same time.
I don’t control the reflex and must leave him again.
A shiver goes down my spine, from his nails at the crown of my head to my fingers and toes and all my extremities.
They say there’s many nerve endings in the anus. Perhaps this shiver has awoken them.
My ass has never been taken by a real person before, but it yearns for it.
When I touch the rim it feels tender, soft and vulnerable.
It’s my special little temple. It’s not for anyone.
But it’s like a temple dedicated to a religion with no believers. It’s lonely.
I’m fingering myself while continuing to pleasure him with my mouth.
I stand up and – without exchanging words – ask him to take me from behind.
I’m pressed against a wall. One hand is placed upon my waist.
His fingers enter me in order to apply a generous supply of lubrication.
My ass is screaming to get fucked. It was destined to get fucked. It hungers to get fucked. Fuck me!
A second finger is inserted to ease me into the process. I breathe out and relent to his fingerwork.
I’m impatient to get started. But I’m also anxious. What if it’ll hurt?
I know I must relax to let him in smoothly, and I’m glad to be feeling wet and lubed up.
Thoroughly slippery and ready, he places his tip to the gate, spreads my cheeks and pushes.
I let out an audible ‘oooh’ as I am penetrated.
My body wholeheartedly welcomes the experience.
Nothing could have prepared me for this suite of new experiences. Everything feels different and new.
It feels like that wave of goosebumps you get from good music.
I’m shocked, but it doesn’t hurt.
I notice I have tensed up in reflex, so I relax again to give him more space to move around.
He slides a few inches out and back in. Slowly and deliberately.
My anus can’t help tensing up yet again, trying to push him out, but it won’t go. His penis controls that now.
It feels so hard inside me. It’s all so incredibly tight. The more I fight it the better it feels. It’s a battle I love losing.
Uninterrupted by my reflexive struggles, he presses on. My breath quivers. His stride quickens from a stroll in the park to a strut.
‘fuck me’, I beg him.
His strength is unwavering. With each stroke I feel him thrust forcefully into me from tip to base.
I feel his hip press against my asscheeks, his cock slides through my sphyncter, pushes my walls aside and tickles me deep inside.
I feel like a champion. Like I’ve climbed the highest mountain. Like I’ve run a marathon.
He is working so hard. As he increases the pace yet another step I can no longer control the sounds I make. It’s somewhere between whimpering, moaning and panting.
I lay my arms on the wall above my head, twist my knees inward and hollow my back, pushing my ass invitingly toward him.
This position makes me feel so vulnerable. I feel so intruded, and I have been welcoming it so willingly.
I never thought it would feel so good to be so desperate. I’m not sure I can take much more, but I absolutely crave it.
Between my halting breaths I manage to shakily whisper an encouragement to him; “harder, oh, yes, more!”.
He obliges. He fucks my ass hard.
Countless new emotions erupt from where I’m being entered. I’m pure sexual energy. For a second I’m in a trance of eternal bliss.
I swear I pop out of my body for just a second. Who is this man who is getting his ass pounded so deliciously?
I’m immediately pulled back in.
Oh god it’s amazing.
Fuck me. Own me. Use me.
It feels so good. I could do this for days. I want to addict myself to this. I want to feel this forever.
Real talk.
I’m scared.
I’m a super normal straight dude that no one knows has these feelings (aside from my girlfriend, who only knows I like to tickle my prostate every once in a while).
I’m scared that when I try to make this fantasy real, that halfway through the blowjob I’ll realize I’m heterosexual after all. I’ll just be an idiot with a dick in his mouth. The text above didn’t come from nowhere though, so some part of me probably wants it for real.
I love my girlfriend. I’m scared I’ll lose her to these feelings.
But I’m also excited, excited that I get to experience such strong and passionate desires. Life would be a little more boring without them.
Perhaps I’ll get to explore these desires. I hope I’ll cover much ground before I encounter any boundaries.
Source: reddit.com/r/Erotica/comments/i5abl8/straight_dude_with_some_pretty_gay_fantasies
Dude, you’re bicurious, just accept that. Question is, whatcha gonna do ’bout it?
Edit: I satisfied my curiosity in college with a threesome involving my gf and a good friend of ours who also happened to be gay. It was a lotta fun, and sucking dick was super erotic, but I’m done with it, and I have no intention of doing it again. And that’s ok! If you do choose to experiment with someone, make sure all parties are aware of your curiosity. Including your girlfriend.
You might want to consider coming out to her, provided that she doesn’t have reservations about **potentially** dating someone bisexual. Who knows, maybe she could be excited by the idea and use a dildo to fuck your brains out. She’s already open to anal play, a dildo up there isn’t too big of a jump.