I was ashamed of my body. I was ashamed of sexual desires and wants. There was so much anxiety around exposing myself to someone else, even someone I loved. After a string of failed relationships I decided to seek out help. My last boyfriend had given me the name of a psychotherapist who specializes in intimacy trouble. I was, in all honesty, terrified of talking to this man about my hang ups with sex, sexual acts, nudity and even just kissing.
I didn’t feel as though I was asexual, I wanted sex, I enjoyed the thought of it. I just became horribly panicked if it looked like things were heading that way. It was uncomfortable to say the least. My last boyfriend had tried to help. He tried to be understanding about it, but he just got sick of the insecurities and hangups I had around sex. He wanted more and I was unwilling to seek treatment for the anxiety because it was ’embarrassing.’
It wasn’t until he walked away from me that I began to see this intimacy issue for the problem it really was. I thought it was just a quirk, something I would just have to work through on my own. I was stubborn and refused to admit it was a genuine problem that I needed help getting over. At least until I felt like I’d lost a really good relationship over my anxiety around sex. So, I stood tall and walked into the office of Dr. Christopher Michaels and attended my first appointment.
He was kind with me.
I had pictured him as being this older Freudian type, but he was young, not much older than me. I noticed various accolades along the wall behind him, not academic in nature, but it appeared he was a runner of some sort and had finished many marathons. This made me self conscious of my own body as I hadn’t really worked out since I finished high school.
He insisted I call him Chris and our initial meeting was very cordial and detailed. “Allison, you were quite vague with the secretary when you made your appointment. She seemed uncertain of the issue you wanted to address in our sessions, would you mind telling me about the issue?”
I blushed brightly and fidgeted in my seat, “Well…Ali, call me Ali please. Umm…I have trouble getting physically close to…to people I like.”
“Would you give me a specific example of what you mean? Do you tense up when a family member hugs you or…”
I cut him off, “No, no, I’m okay with hugging family it’s non-related people I struggle with. Boyfriends specifically. I’ve had six in the past five years and I’ve…I can’t even let them kiss me without having a full blown panic attack.”
“I see. Forgive me if this is something you’re uncomfortable with, but have you ever experienced sexual assault?”
I shook my head, “No, nothing like that.”
He tilted his head to the side and pushed his glasses back up onto his nose. “Physical abuse from a parent or authority figure?”
I shook my head. He wrote notes.
“Ali, have your past boyfriends been physically rough or violent with you in any way?”
“No. They’ve been pretty good to me, pretty understanding.”
He looked me over, “Is it specifically with people you like intimately? Do you have reservations from others like friends and such?”
“Just people I like. I can hug a stranger and I’m fine, but if I’m at all attracted to the person I just want to curl inside myself and hide away.”
“That is an interesting choice of words. It sounds protective, as though you are afraid intimacy hurts.”
He watched me as I thought, “I guess. I just want it to stop. I want to be intimate, I want to be physical with someone, but I can’t seem to get over this hangup.”
“So, for you, it’s less about figuring out the why you’re reacting this way and more with reprogramming yourself to just accept the intimacy?”
I nodded. “I just want to move on with my life and leave this in my past.”
He seemed to think hard about this as I sat there. He made a few notes and then looked up to me. He pulled his glasses off and spoke very slowly and deliberately, “I’ve been conducting a study on sexual aversion and curing it through hypnosis. I believe you would be a prime candidate for that study, but I would ask that you see me for regular sessions as well. I honestly find your circumstances rather unique and would like to discuss this as we progress through your sessions. Is hypnosis a therapy you would be willing to participate in?”
“I guess. It’s not dangerous is it?”
“Dangerous? No. Though there is the chance of feeling uncomfortable as a portion of the therapy is about immersion. If you’re uncomfortable with that or if it becomes a problem for you through our sessions we would end that aspect and reassess your treatment right away. This is purely about seeing results that you feel comfortable with,” he smiled at me and I looked down to my hands, I was struck by how handsome he was.
“I would like to try it. Would you mind walking me through the process? What is expected of me?”
He nodded, the light caught his brilliant blue eyes and made them sparkle just slightly. “For the first two sessions I will hypnotize you and ask that you simply imagine what I describe. We will gauge your reaction and comfort level with control questions throughout the session, if you were to become agitated or uncomfortable, I will end the hypnosis session and you will remember everything that transpired. Before you leave we will talk about your experience in the session and I might assign you a type of homework, techniques to try out or things to research to better inform you of your options in the sexual world. After the first two sessions we will see where we are and move forward from there. We might do further immersion therapy or we might transition to only talk therapy, we will see what happens when that time comes.”
I went home and mulled over the discussion, my next appointment would be tomorrow, he wanted to start my therapy right away. I climbed into bed and said a silent prayer that this worked. I was sick of holding back from what I wanted.
I anxiously awaited my appointment. He would be showing up early to begin the hypnosis sessions with me and he wanted to make sure we got started right away so as to catch me up to the other participants in his study. I found myself fumbling and having minor meltdowns while getting ready. This has been an aspect of me for so long I didn’t know what I would do with myself once it was gone. I was excited to see what the future held for me.
I showed up before Dr. Michaels and sat on the stairs outside of his office. He pulled up shortly after and smiled as he came over to unlock the door, “Give me just a few minutes to set up and I’ll be right with you.” I nodded and he motioned to one of the seats in the lobby, “Please, sit. I’ll be right back.”
I sat on the chair and looked around the office. I hadn’t really gotten to take a good look the last time I was in. There were photographs all around the walls, not paintings like I normally see in doctor’s offices but photographs. Parts of people in some of the shots, in others there were buildings and markers indicating a special or historic place. I wondered if he had taken them. Before I could contemplate for too long he reemerged from his office door, “Come in, come in!”
I followed his lead and sat on the couch in front of him. A metronome sat on the table between us. His direction was simple though I don’t remember the details of how the hypnosis worked. I recall hearing his voice, telling me to focus on the needle, back and forth and then I remember him speaking to me.
“Ali, tell me what you’re wearing,” his voice was soft, monotonous, a little distant as the words filled my head.
I looked down to see what I wore in order to describe it, “A red long sleeved shirt under a black printed t shirt. The t-shirt has a quote from my favorite book on it. I have on dark blue jeans, they are beat up and old. I’m wearing red flats and no socks…” my voice trailed off.
“And what are you wearing under that?”
I felt myself shrug. I couldn’t remember. “I don’t know.”
“Why don’t you look and see?”
I looked down and lifted my shirt until I could see my bra, “It’s grey.”
“What’s grey?”
I could feel myself begin to panic a little, my breaths became more shallow and hurried, “The bra I’m wearing.”
“It’s okay Ali, you’re safe in here. Are you wearing anything else?”
I nodded and unfastened my pants and unzipped them to reveal my panties, “My panties are black.”
“How does it feel to reveal that detail?”
My breath was still shallow, I wasn’t quite hyperventilating as I had calmed down a bit when he told me too, but I was still feeling uncomfortable and scared, “Upsetting.”
“Why does it feel upsetting to you?”
“It’s private. Just for me.”
He said nothing for a little while and I became more nervous. Some part of me was asking if I had really revealed my underwear to him or if I only thought I had. I wanted to cover up but my hands were fumbling with the fabric. I could hear a steady tick somewhere in the distance.
“Ali, I’m going to describe a scenario. Every now and then you are going to answer a question for me but I want you to focus as hard as you can on what I am describing and how it makes you feel, can you do that for me?”
“Yes.”
His voice was quiet, he spoke in a such a flat way that I was certain I must be imagining it. He had been so lively the other day, I couldn’t see him changing his entire demeanor so easily. He began his scenario:
“You have come home from work after a very long and trying day. In order to relax and ease your troubles you go into the bathroom with the intentions of soaking in a nice hot tub full of water. You undress and you watch yourself in the mirror. You remove your shirt first. Underneath the thin fabric of your blouse you wear an attractive red bra. It gives you lift and support. You notice how nice and full your breasts look being held back by the fabric so you leave it on.
You stand in front of this mirror and you take your pants off, revealing a pair of black silk panties, they hug your every curve just as they should. How does this image of you standing before a mirror in only your bra and panties make you feel?”
“Scared. Something’s going to go wrong, it’s going to go bad.”
He continued, “You ignore that feeling, you are safe, secure, in your bathroom in private. You are the only one here. You reach up and unhook the bra in the front and free your breasts from their confines. Your breasts are heavy mounds that are beautifully shaped and soft to the touch. You take notice of their shape and run your hands over your own body. How do they feel in your hands?”
“Soft, warm.”
“You pull your panties off and sit in front of this large mirror, your own naked image…Ali, focus, listen to my voice, you are safe here, you are in no danger here.” It was no use, I couldn’t breathe and he ended the session, “Wake up, you’re okay, you will wake up now. It’s okay, breathe Ali, breathe.” He sat beside me on the couch and I opened my eyes to see him holding my wrist and looking closely at his watch, his brow furrowed as I came out of it and got some control on my breathing.
“Did I mess up?”
“Not at all, you did wonderfully.” My clothes were still on me, fastened, secure. I looked over to him as he spoke, “I want you to do some take home exercises, your first real issue seems to be related to your own body image. For the next couple of nights I want you to stand in front of a mirror in various stages of dress. Nothing else, just stand there and look at yourself. If you need to look away make a note of it, where you are looking, how long you looked before you looked away. Be as detailed as you can be about how you felt and what you thought before you looked away and after you looked away. We will address that with our next session. For now, just lay back and relax a while. Catch your breath, your session isn’t over for another half hour. You did really well, you were under for a solid hour.”
I kind of looked around as I leaned back into the chair, “An hour? It felt like it was just a few minutes.”
“These sessions can feel that way and sometimes a few minutes will seem like hours. I would like to get to the bottom of why your anxiety flares up so significantly when it is your own body you look at. I think that will help with all of this significantly. Let’s set up to do another session on Monday. In the meantime try your best to force yourself to look at your own body. Just be aware of your breathing and look away when you need to. Notes of where you react will be helpful for us to move forward.”
When my time was up he walked me to the door. He seemed oddly excited considering we had to end the session early. He stopped me and looked at me very intently as he spoke, “I think you’re going to be my prime subject in this study, which means very intense sessions starting at 3 times a week at no cost. The next time you come in I’ll have some releases I need you to sign and I will start video recording our sessions. You can back out at any time if it becomes uncomfortable for you. This study is important, but your safety and health are my top concern. Think it over. When you come back on Monday we can discuss it in more detail if you’d like.”
I nodded and left. I thought it over, talked to him on Monday and everything seemed to be in order. I agreed to be his focus in this study. I did my “homework” and looked at myself in a mirror every chance I got. Considering I had none at home when I began this, I bought one and placed it on the back of my bathroom door. I hated mirrors with a passion. I was fairly confident that your reflected image was a doppelganger hellbent on taking over your spot on earth…but that’s not the story I’m telling at the moment.
I looked at myself often and for the most part I was okay when dressed. I didn’t dress sloppily or in a way that hid my body, My dresses hugged curves and my clothes accentuated my best features. I dressed well, I thought. It was only when I began shedding that outer layer that I had a problem.
I could feel my heart racing when I stood in my bra and panties. I often had to look away after only a few seconds of observing my body. I worked on it over the weekend and by Monday morning I could look at myself in only my underwear for a couple of minutes, but I had yet to look at myself fully nude.
When I arrived for my appointment I told him about the progress and he confirmed my feelings of that being a good start but he did emphasize the need to go further with it. I signed the paperwork, and did the session. He talked to me about feelings, fears, wants, desires and through each part of the session he would stop to ask how I was feeling at that moment. It was largely uneventful as we moved forward. My out of office assignments became more personal, he wanted me to begin touching my own body.
I had never masturbated before. The thought of my own body repulsed me, but he was insistent. “How can you open yourself up sexually to another person if you won’t even open yourself up to yourself?” His voice was so calming it was sickening. I agreed, the logic was sound and I couldn’t really argue it.
Our sessions were largely boring and continued on for three days a week. About a month into therapy he approached me and asked me about pushing further with the sessions. “Alison, you’ve made great strides in the last few months. I would like to start working immersion into the sessions. Physical reaction in addition to aural stimulation.”
I swallowed loudly and could actually feel the beads of sweat building on my forehead, “Physical reaction?”
“Oh…oh god, that sounded awful. I’m not going to physically touch you. So far in your sessions we’ve only addressed looking at other forms of sensory stimulation. You’ve listened to me describe something and you’ve envisioned it in your own way. Thus far you’ve responded well, but we haven’t addressed what these scenarios feel like to you physically. That’s the next phase I want to address. Your physical response to what I say and what you picture. You need to be aware of your own body and its, very natural, reactions. I will not be physical with you, but we will focus on your physical body and how it reacts. Wednesday, we’ll start this on Wednesday. You’ll do fine.”
My homework for the night was to watch porn, basically. Well, it was more about researching what’s out there, what interests me. What I would like to try. So I obliged my doctor and sought things out. I was overwhelmed at first, so I e-mailed my doctor and asked for help on where to start. He responded within an hour and told me to take it slowly and gave me a couple of links to more conventional porn on amateur sites. He reminded me that this was just about exposure to my own wants and desires, not to look at these things as requirements that go along with sex but simply possibilities.
I felt calmer and looked over the sites he suggested. I looked through photo sessions and videos of very basic sex acts, things I already knew about but had always been hesitant to try. I started slowly and focused my search on playing with a dick, touching and sucking it basically. Some of the girls seemed more into it than others. I wasn’t really sure how I felt about it, but I did find myself squirming a bit whenever one of the guys would moan or when the photos showed him cumming on the girl or in her mouth.
I noticed that, for the first time, I was viewing these images without much of a problem. I was picturing myself performing the act without falling into a full blown panic. My heart raced and I did catch myself holding my breath here and there, but I was largely okay. I was excited about this development. The very thing that had ended my last relationship was my unwillingness to ‘at least’ suck his cock every now and then. This was the first time I really felt as though there was real improvement.
I made it through Monday night and Tuesday night viewing the porn I was comfortable with, which so far was strictly blowjob related. Wednesday morning I reported to my doctor’s office and I was almost giddy to talk about the assignment he gave me and how I did with it. He immediately noticed my excitement and smiled as he let me into the office, “I’m guessing you had a positive experience over the last couple of days?” The smile on his face was evident in his voice, it sounded lighter, more airy than normal.
I nodded and he motioned me to the couch and began the metronome. “I think I found something I would be comfortable trying out sometime. I didn’t freak out, I didn’t react negatively at all really…”
“Focus on the ticking and my voice. Tell me what it was that you found.”
I stared at the ticking mechanism in front of me and his voice began to trail away, it suddenly sounded far off in the distance. I answered rather monotonously, “Blowjobs.” I tilted my head to the side a bit. One thing about these sessions that I came away not loving was the fact that I was overly honest with him. I continued my answer as I slipped into the suggestive state, “I want to suck your cock.” My breath caught in my throat for only a moment. There was no sound for what seemed like hours.
Then he spoke up, “We’re going to start here in my office today. Tell me what you wore to your appointment.”
“A red shirt with white polka dots, a white bra, black jeans and black panties. I’m wearing red flats and no socks and I brought a sweatshirt because it was cold outside this morning.”
“Do you remember what I had on this morning?”
“Black jeans and a white dress shirt.”
“Very good. Do you remember what you told me when you first started falling into this trance?”
“I don’t remember.”
“You were talking about wanting to try blowjobs. Do you remember now?”
I nodded. I looked over to him and responded very bluntly, “I do, I said I want to suck a cock.”
I could hear him smiling as he spoke, “Very close, but you said mine specifically. You told me you wanted to suck my cock. Is that something you still want to do?”
“Yes.” I looked from his crotch back up to his face and smiled a bit slyly.
“Good, Ali, I want you to remove all of your clothing and kneel in front of me.”
I did as I was told and practically crawled on all fours over to him.
“What do you believe would be the first step towards giving me that blowjob?”
“Undressing you?” I hesitated, I wasn’t sure if it was the right answer or not.
“Very close, Ali. First you need to kiss me, to see if I’m open to more with you.”
I nodded and pressed myself against him as I climbed up close to his lips and kissed him softly. He waited a few moments after I stopped kissing him, “How did that feel to you?”
I smiled and blushed a bit, “Warm, you taste like peppermint.”
“Do you still want to go farther?”
I nodded and began unfastening his jeans, he offered no resistance. He just sat there and talked to me as I made my way into his clothing. He lifted his hips to allow me to pull the fabric down around his thighs. Then I looked up to him, waiting for permission.
“What do I look like, Ali?”
“Soft, your skin is slightly pinkish. You don’t look like the guys in the porn I watched, smaller, not hard.”
“How does that make you feel?”
“Insecure. The girls in the video were very attractive. I’m not that attractive so you don’t react like that towards me.”
“Hmm. It is true that guys will sometimes react to simply seeing a beautiful girl, but is that your expectation? Do you feel that if the excitement isn’t there already that you’re not good enough?”
“Well, yeah. The interest should be there already, right?” I put my hand on his cock and gently rubbed from the base to the tip.
“Go ahead and begin that blowjob you wanted to do. Tell me how I react and how it makes you feel.”
I brought my lips down to the tip of his cock and parted them. His shaft slid slowly along my tongue. The flaccid penis in my mouth slowly hardened and reacted as my tongue pressed up along the underside of his shaft I smiled and pulled my lips from him, “You hardened a little bit when my tongue put pressure on you. It felt nice to cause that.”
“Continue, Ali.”
I returned my lips to his cock and felt the warmth of his skin playing off the warm wetness my mouth offered. I heard him moan softly as I tried to take all of his hardening shaft between my lips. I failed, choking as I looked up to him. I started to pull away again to tell him how I felt, but his hand slid along the back of my neck and held me in place.
I was quiet and I simply sucked and licked his cock while he kept me held firmly in front of him, soft moans escaping his lips every now and then. I recalled seeing some girls suck on the guy’s balls and I forcefully pulled my lips from his cock and moved them down, gently suckling at the sac that held his testes. He gripped the arms of his chair tightly and I brought my lips back up to his cock. I very gently caressed his balls as I slipped my mouth back down his shaft.
He was throbbing in my mouth as he tried to fight the sensation welling up within him. I could feel my heart speeding up but it was a good feeling. I let him watch his cock disappear between my lips as I moved further down onto him. I still couldn’t take him fully into my mouth without gagging. I felt him tug at my hair just a bit as his body began to tense up.
He pulled me down onto his cock forcefully, shoving himself down my throat as I coughed and gagged a bit. His cum shot deep within my throat and I pulled away and smiled happily. I swallowed what I could but some dripped from my lips, down my chin, and onto my chest. I tilted my head a bit and smiled.
“Ali, tell me how you’re feeling?”
“Satisfied. Happy.”
I felt his hand brush over my cheek, “Ali, wake up now. Wake up and breathe.”
I looked over to him and couldn’t fight the blush creeping over my face. I looked down to see myself and him fully dressed. I was a bit confused to say the least.
He looked relieved when he saw me awake. “You gave me a scare, you stopped responding to my questions after I asked what you wore to your appointment today.”
I looked dumbfounded and the blush just grew into an actual flushing of my skin all over. “That wasn’t real then?”
“What wasn’t real?”
I shrugged, “Nothing…I just…thought you said more after that.”
He looked me over and took my pulse, “Hmm…Seems like you might’ve fallen into the trance a little too quickly and too deeply. Would you mind me asking what you thought I said after that?”
I smiled awkwardly, I wasn’t sure how to approach it. “Umm. Well, I’m guessing it was just a daydream of some sort or something? But I went through with a sexual act?”
He smiled really big, “Really?! And your breathing and pulse were fine throughout it. You looked like you’d just fallen asleep to be honest, but your lack of answering me was concerning considering how easily you’ve gone under up to this point. Can I see you again tomorrow? To further discuss today’s session?”
I nodded, “Tomorrow then.”
I happily went home but I could not get the experience out of my mind. I found myself so relaxed and at ease. For the first time in my life I lay in my bed and imagined a sexual encounter with someone. I let my hands wander and I enjoyed myself and my thoughts. I caught myself holding my breath a few times but dammit, I wanted to experience an orgasm. I never quite achieved it, instead I broke down in tears over my inability to pleasure myself. How could I possibly please someone else when I can’t even please my own body.
I cried myself to sleep. I woke early in the morning and got ready for my appointment. When I arrived I was shocked to see the door already unlocked. Usually I beat him to the office by about ten minutes. I made my way into the waiting room and he was quick to usher me back into the office.
“Ali, I’ve been going over my notes for your case and I think..”
I cut him off, I had something I needed to say, “I want to experience sex.” I said it very bluntly, very to the point, “I’ve learned a lot over the past few months and mostly I’ve learned that I want to experience an orgasm, and I want to pleasure someone else. I want it rather desperately, and I want it with you.” I closed my eyes and waited for the rejection.
Much to my surprise he came over to me and kissed me softly on the lips, “I want to try you in deep immersion therapy. Expose you to your fears in a safe environment. I think you’re ready to end your therapy if you make it through this okay.” He began unbuttoning the shirt I wore and I felt his fingers gently graze my shoulder, eliciting a shiver from me.
I opened my eyes and looked at him, the smile on his face grew as he watched me react to receiving pleasure. His lips made contact with mine so very softly. I put my hand on his thigh and I noticed the firmness just behind the fabric of his pants. I rubbed my hand over the growing bulge and he moaned softly. I became ravenous.
I climbed onto his lap and he simply smiled as he pulled my shirt off of me. My breasts were mere inches from his face and he took notice, running his hands over them, kissing my flesh while watching me closely. He was looking for any signs of discomfort but there simply were none save a held breath here and there. We undressed one another between kisses and caresses. At some point I stood naked in front of him and fought off the feelings of panic as they rose within me. He stopped when he saw my breath quicken and I closed my eyes, “You okay, Ali?”
I nodded and took a deep breath to calm me before I opened my eyes again. I looked up to him and practically pleaded, “I just want you to fuck me.”
Eventually he would oblige, but first…first he asked me to fulfill that daydream I had mentioned at my last session. I dropped to my knees in front of him and hungrily took his cock between my lips. He tasted of clean skin as I sucked him deeply between my lips. My imagined version of his body did him no justice. He wasn’t particularly well endowed, at least compared with the porn stars, but his physique was amazing and his cock was simply perfectly proportioned with the rest of him.
I grabbed his hips and pulled him closer to me until I was gagging with his cock shoved deep into my throat. He rubbed the back of my neck and moaned as I began tightening my lips around him to suck along his shaft as I drew my lips back towards the tip of him. He shivered just a bit as I moaned with him firmly held in my mouth. His grip tightened on my shoulder as he struggled to keep his hips still. He wanted to fuck my mouth and I would have very happily let him.
He seemed to want more with me though as he pulled his cock free of my lips, eliciting a groany protest and pout from me. He pushed me back onto the couch and climbed over me, smiling as he lowered his head down between my legs. I suddenly couldn’t breathe as his lips and tongue expertly worked my body to writhe and react to his every move. Then I gasped and he began very slowly and softly fingering my pussy with his middle finger. He smiled and watched as my hips pushed towards him. Then he lowered his lips back down to my clit and began rubbing his tongue quickly back and forth over the sensitive bit of flesh while his finger penetrated and rubbed the wall of my pussy quick and hard. I felt my body tense up and I’m quite positive my toes curled as he coaxed my very first orgasm out of me.
I cried and he happily tongued my pussy as the wave of pleasure began to subside. I thought he was done, I thought that was it. Then he pinned my wrists above my head and positioned his cock at the opening of my cunt. The sudden penetration made me squirm and moan under him. He smiled and he stared into my eyes as he thrust himself deeply into me over and over again. I writhed and moaned under him as he fucked me. He loved grabbing my hips to hold me still. He brought his lips down to my breasts and suckled at each nipple in turn. I thought I had already experienced one’s max level of pleasure. I was wrong. He lifted me up and turned me over onto my tummy, then penetrated my pussy as he leaned over me and rubbed my clit with his index and middle fingers.
I felt as though I was going to pass out as his fingers rubbed quicker and his cock throbbed within me. He brought me to orgasm again and I collapsed to the couch, he dutifully held me up as I rode out the wave of pleasure, my already tight pussy clung and pulled at his flesh until I felt the burst of warmth filling my insides. Then he collapsed on top of me and we both fell to the couch. After a bit of maneuvering he lay behind me on his side and I was snuggled into the crook of his arm.
He kissed my shoulder and the side of my neck before leaning close to my ear and whispering, “You can’t be my patient anymore.”
I smiled and held his hand tightly, “I think I’ll be okay. Does this mean you don’t want to see me anymore?” I looked back to him as I asked.
He squeezed my hand and my hip and shook his head, “I think we should keep up this therapy for a while, off the books of course, just to make sure you’re really okay.”
I nodded, “I’m all yours, doc.”
He kissed my neck and caressed my breasts as we lay there and I turned over and looked at him, “Do you end up fucking all of your patients?” I asked.
His head tilted slightly and he shook his head, “I’ve never even looked at a patient sexually before. You were doing well in your sessions and I was struggling to get through them without crossing some ethical lines.”
I smiled, “Did you want to fuck me while I was sleeping on your couch?” I asked softly.
He shook his head, “I wanted to undress you and please your body over and over again during our sessions. You’ve been revealing yourself to me while under for the past month and it has been absolute torture.”
A blush creeped across my cheeks and he noticed, kissing me softly as he stroked my reddened cheek, “You have such a beautifully soft body, Ali. Perfectly curved hips and breasts,” he ran his finger along the shape of me and lifted my leg over his hip as I looked back to him. He guided himself back into me and moaned as I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.
His lips pressed to mine softly, eagerly spreading my lips with his tongue and making me moan as one hand gripped my breasts and his other held my leg by my thigh so he could push himself into me. He moaned against my lips and I smiled and tipped my pelvis, allowing him to push deeper.
We held eye contact as he fucked me slowly. He seemed to enjoy feeling my body clinging to him as his hand kneaded my soft, fleshy breasts. His other hand gripped my thigh tightly enough to leave white indentations in my thigh. His breathing quickened and he kissed my cheek before whispering, “Touch yourself for me, Ali. Show me what you’ve learned from our sessions.”
I brought my fingers down my clit, rubbing gently and slowly as kissed and bit my neck. His hands gripped me and fondled me. I had one hand down between my legs and I rubbed his cock as he pushed into me. He groaned and I gathered our mixed fluids from my opening and his base then started rubbing my clit.
My hips bucked as I rubbed myself. I met his thrusts and he bit down on my neck harder and his grip on my breasts and thigh tightened. I whimpered and moaned and he started thrusting harder and deeper into me. His cock was pushing against a sensitive area at the front of my cunt and intense pulses of pleasure began teasing me.
I looked at him and whispered, “Harder,” in a breathy moan that I tried to stifle.
He obliged, lifting my thigh a little higher, his dick thrust into me deeper and faster. I whimpered and my hips squirmed as he tried to hold me still. I was panting and I felt his lips curl into a smile as he kissed his way to my ear, “There is nothing more beautiful than seeing a woman enjoying herself on my cock, Ali. Now cum for me.”
His body pushed into mine harder, banging repeatedly against that sensitive area as my fingers rubbed my clit faster. He lifted his hand from my breasts and caressed just beneath my jaw, turning me towards him so he could kiss me deeply as he felt the intensity of my orgasm hit. I released a stream of fluid as my pussy tightened and milked him into me. My moans were overwhelmed by his steady grunting as he came inside of me again.
“Go out to lunch with me today?” he asked as he kissed along my jaw and ear.
I nodded, panting and trying to catch my breath as my body began to settle.
He pulled his dick from me and turned me onto my back in front of him, “Tonight I have a new homework assignment for you. I want you to watch me fuck you in a mirror, and I want you to watch your pussy release my cum as you squat in front of it. These off the books sessions will continue until you let me record your beautiful body for the pleasure of strangers,” he whispered.
My breath caught at the thought, but this was a moment of excitement and anticipation. I should send a thank-you card to my ex. He was right, this therapist was just what I needed.
Source: reddit.com/r/Erotica/comments/i4jqs2/personal_awakening_mf_insecurity_sex_therapy