The day before I returned to work after my maternity leave, I tried on some of my old clothes. It all barely fit, luckily it was November and bulky winter clothes covered some of the weight I had gained. I felt like a huge mammoth. The suit top barely closed around my breasts. Every time I tried to button, I got scared that I might leak. But more than the bigger waist line and the giant boobs, I felt different. So much had changed in the last 4 months that. Thankfully the baby was healthy. But 2 weeks after I delivered, my husband, Larry, got promoted. ‘Chance of a lifetime’ he said. I was happy for him. He was sorry that he wasn’t going to be able to help out as much. As a solution, his mom moved in. She was fine, but the small home that was mine and Larry’s, was now forever changed, and I had changed, everything had changed.
For this reason I welcomed the familiarity of getting dressed and going to work. Once the welcome back party was over and the cake was put back in the fridge half eaten, I was back in my office, door closed and with a pile of letter and emails that needed addressing. With the exception of the break every 2-3 hours to pump, everything was back to normal.
Normalcy also meant that I was back to my daily meetings with Chris. Chris was head of customer relations, him and I, as director of sales, worked very closely sometimes, especially on the bigger accounts. Those accounts required a little bit extra attention and we were a good team. With clients, he was a smooth talker, fitting for the head of customer relations. Not in a skeevy used car salesman kind of way either. He had a gentle face and a disarming smile. He was quick to gain the trust of the customers.
When he wasn’t with customers however, he was reserved, but not quite. When we had first met, I was struck by how after many conversations, I left knowing so little about him. He had a way of directing the conversation away from himself in a way that was impossible to detect. One of the ways, he deflected was his sarcastic sense of humor. He was the kind of guy that if you asked ‘what are you doing this weekend?’ would say ‘You mean we get to leave this place?’.
Chris and I made a dynamic team. My role was was to be the anchor. Once Chris brought them in with his smooth talking, I was the one to reel them in. We worked well together. So when Chris texted me on my first day back, “Glad you are back, can’t wait to see you.” I felt a sense of excitement. I couldn’t wait to see him either. I couldn’t wait to get started.
Two days later, he knocked on the door to my office. He came in, we hugged, a light peck on the cheeks. He looked at me, “It’s really good to have you back.” He said sincerely. “I couldn’t work another day with Elaine.”
“She is not that bad.” I waived him off flippantly.
“Maybe, but… I don’t know. It wasn’t the same without you.”
We met for an hour and a half that day. “Alright, you gotta go now.”
“I do?” He said, surprised.
“I need to pump.” I pointed towards my boobs unintentionally.
“OOOh, sexy.” He said sarcastically. “Alright, so tomorrow, let’s say I will pick you up at 7:30 and we can head over there?”
“Can we make it 8:30, I need to feed the baby before I go. Sorry.”
“Don’t worry about it. 8:30 is good.. Getting the old team back together. Chris and Maya, kicking ass and taking names.”
“Hold your horses, I might be rusty.”
“Don’t say such things.” He reveled in sarcasm. “Its almost like your maternity leave was 4 days.”
“Alright alright, you really have to go now. My boobs are starting to hurt.”
He got up and walked towards the door. He turned around as I was pulling my pump out of the bag. “It really is great to have you back.” He actually sounded sincere.
“It’s good to be back.” He closed the door.
I went home that day feeling a little lighter. I felt more in my element. More rejuvenated and energized. Even when the baby woke me up at 2 am to feed. I was happy to get up.
For the weeks to follow things continued to go well. I returned to work as if I had not skipped a beat. My department was running like a well-oiled machine. Don’t get me wrong, there were some hick-ups here and there, and I dealt with them, but overall things were going well. I hit every single benchmark on time.
At home, things were not going as well. My mother-in-law had made herself at home. There was no prospect of us ever not needing her, especially with Larry’s promotion and my demands at work. She took over the guest room, shipped over some of her furniture and had some of her mail delivered to our place. Overall, I didn’t mind her. She was a nice person and we never really argued. But I just didn’t like having her in our place. We had converted the office to a nursery so all of our time was either spent between the bedroom or the living room. There was just no room to exist.
As for Larry and I, we had hit a dry spell. It was expected I guess. Last time we tried to have sex I was 7 months pregnant and I had started to balloon and it was just difficult. Everything made me short of breath. Then of course after the baby, my doctor told me not to have sex for at least 6 weeks. Larry didn’t protest, a part of me thought it was because I was so hideous.
When we got the green light from my doctor, I was scared and a little dreadful. I knew we should have sex but I didn’t want to. I felt so ugly and fat and on top of that my sex drive was totally dead. I asked my doctor (and a few online health blogs) and I was told that that was normal. I was told that we would have to make a conscious effort to improve our sex life before we could go back to normal.
So I decided to make the conscious effort. That day in the shower, I turned the water on and started to play with myself. My nipples which had been exquisitely sensitive in the past were now chapped and not nearly as sensitive. I looked down and saw my giant tits and my chubby belly. After maybe 30 mins of trying, I felt nothing. I gave up and got dressed.
A week later, Larry came home and looked like he was in the mood for sex. He kissed me, and joked and flirted. He was sweet. When we finally made it to the bedroom, I realized how scared I was. I didn’t want him to see me naked. I had only gone up one size but I felt huge. I hid under the cover and insisted we turn the lights off. During sex I was timid and scared. He felt it. He retreated. I apologized. He said it’s ok. That night I gave him a blow job and we both went to sleep. We had made no other attempts after that, especially after his mom moved in.
So my solace remained in my work, and I was excelling. If it hadn’t been for that, I would have become hopelessly depressed or insane. Chris and I closed on 2 major accounts in January that were enough to put us in the black for the rest of the year. The day we closed, the meeting with the client was at 10:00, by 11:30, the papers were signed and we were on our way. We went out to lunch to celebrate.
“I am getting us a bottle of champagne.”
“I can’t. No alcohol, I am still breastfeeding.”
“Still?” he said, visibly disappointed.
“What do you mean *STILL*? It has only been 6 months.”
“Well can’t you pump and dump?” He did a weird air-squeezing hand motion. He talked with his hands when he was excited. “See, I remember some stuff.”
“Yeah. I could.” I hesitated. “But I have had some.. supply issues so I can’t really get myself to dump any of it out.”
Chris and I were close friends, but that comment still felt like it was too much information. We had worked together for 4 years at that point. He was there in the company when I got hired. I didn’t warm up to him right away. My first impression of him was that he was crass and uncouth. He seemed like an overly sarcastic asshole. I tried my best to avoid him, but that wasn’t really an option since 50% of our jobs overlapped.
After I had been a few month at the company he took a 6 months leave-of-absence. His wife was dying and he took the time to be by her side. She had been sick for a while but he had kept that to himself. She passed and left him with a 3 year old daughter.
When he came back to work, he was kept to himself a lot. He received everyone’s sympathy cordially but he just kept his head down and kept working, and I worked with him. He just kept on working, determined and undeterred. One day, on ride back from a client meeting he thanked me.
“What for?” I said surprised.
“Everyone has been walking around eggshells around me ever since I came back. I just appreciate that we are just working, and that you are being normal with me.”
“No problem.” I wasn’t really sure what to say.
After that day we got to know each other a little more. He was still gruff and sarcastic but in a lovable way. Once I understood his sense of humor, it was a lot easier to understand how kind he was. He was nice guy and great dad. He was really cute with his daughter. I met her one time during a company picnic. “Thank God she looks nothing like, all her mother.” They were cute together. He stayed dedicated to her since her mom’s death.
“Alright alright, no champagne. Are wings ok? or do you not wanna get your hands dirty?”
“I did literally just get my nails done. But the occasion calls for at least that.”
We ordered and ate. I finished my food and we sat quietly nibbling on the fries, waiting for the check. “Elena had supply problems too from what I remember.”
“Oh yeah?” I was surprised he still wanted to talk about breast milk supply. I wasn’t sure why I brought it up in the first place.
“Yeah, it was very rough on her. She couldn’t really move because of her scar and she was never really able to watch Maddie for a few weeks after she was born. I had to do everything.” He seemed like he was trying to remind himself of what happened. “It’s rough, isn’t it? They make it look so easy in the movies.” He was getting surprisingly introspective despite his sarcastic nature.
“Very” Was all I found myself saying.
“But you can do it though. If there is someone I know who can do this, its you.”
I smiled at him. Sincerity fit him well. I could see it in his eyes, they were kind. I felt safe. “You know, it’s not just the baby. I just don’t feel like myself anymore. My body is different. My house is different. My marriage is different and even my body. I still can’t look at myself naked in the mirror, let alone let Larry see me.” I regretted it as soon as I said it. He didn’t want to hear this. What the hell was wrong with me? He wasn’t my therapist. “I am sorry” I found that I had teared up and had to wipe it from my eye without smudging my make-up. “I don’t know why this came up.”
“Oh, don’t be sorry.” He reached across the table and grabbed my hand. “Maya, look at me” I looked. “You are beautiful. The thing your body has gone through is nothing short of a miracle.” My face felt flush. “It’s ok to feel the way you do. It’s natural. But trust me, you are as beautiful as you have ever been.” He let go of my hand but held my gaze. “Things take a while to get back to normal. I remember that. But they do and when they do you are gonna realize that you are a kick-ass mom and a kick-ass department head.”
I sat there frozen in his sight, looking into his eyes for what seemed like hours. He broke the eye contact first and looked over to the waiter to bring the check. I had been holding my breath unintentionally. I let my lungs fill with air again. I didn’t really have a response. I didn’t know if I should respond. He paid the check with the company card. We got up and went back to the office.
For the rest of the day, and over the weekend to follow, I felt a boost of confidence. His words echoed in my ears. When I got home I cooked dinner (my mother-in-law had been largely in charge of the cooking). After the baby went to bed, I actually put on some make up and waited for Larry to come home. When I walked out of the room, my mother-in-law saw that I was made up and a little dressed and she told me I looked gorgeous. It was sweet of her. After that she made herself scarce
Larry got home around 9. Exhausted, he sat to eat and went to sleep. I wanted to try having sex but I realized how late it was and how tired he was and I let him sleep. It just didn’t feel like the right time.
At 2 am the baby woke up. At the point, I had a system down, change diaper, bundle, breastfeed, formula to make up for the low supply, burp, rock, put down, pump and then I go to bed. I was getting pretty efficient.
Before going to bed that night however, I needed to go to the bathroom. While in the bathroom, I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. The baby weight haunted me. Even in comfortable pajama pants and a loose fitting shirt, the weight was the first thing I saw in the mirror. I felt defeated. but then Chris’s words came back to my head suddenly. “You are as beautiful as you have ever been”. Did he really mean that? I know he was probably just flattering me but he sounded so sincere. I was blushing again. I felt warm. With this new boost of confidence I decided to get naked. I took my shirt off and pulled my pant and panties down. ‘I am going to regret this’.
In the bright light of my bathroom, I stood in front of the mirror naked and trying to force myself to look at the mirror. My hair was a mess. I used my fingers to tuck the stray hairs behind my ears. The bags under my eyes were showing owing to frequent interruptions in my night sleep. My face hadn’t gained any wight I think. It all went below.
My boobs were bigger, significantly bigger. I had gone from a B to a DD. A big blue vein weaved its way across my left boob. My nipples sat on the front and pointed a little bit out. They were also bigger. Luckily everything stayed symmetrical. When I was in college I used to see the girls in the shower compare sizes and I would get jealous. Now I was the proud owner of a fully functional pair of DD’s. They didn’t look too bad I guess. I would have killed for a pair like this in college.
I scanned my body further down. That’s where I knew my self esteem would plummet. I had always had a flat stomach that I had worked (and skipped a lot of fries) for. All the planks and kick boxing I did was now a figment of a distant past. A pouch of fat l sat there now.
My scar sat directly below the pouch it had healed now. The pain after the birth was unfathomable but it slowly subsided. On my 6 week appointment my doctor looked at it and said, “You can now resume exercise and sex”. Thanks doc, because that’s what had been stopping me. A faint barely noticeable horizontal scar sat there.
Below the scar sat a unruly forest of pubic hair. I was never a Brazilian girl but I haven’t let my bush grow out this much since freshman year of high school. I ran my hands through the hair. It was fluffy and kind of soft. It felt nice.
I turned around to look at my ass. That was probably the only thing that I could say improved after the baby. I had always had a flat white-girl ass. I had tried to do some squats to remedy that but I never stuck to it. Now my ass was plump and curvy. There was some cellulite there and a couple of stretch marks on the side. But in yoga pants (which is basically what I wore anywhere besides work) I was able to look behind me and see a real ass.
My self esteem hadn’t plummeted as low as I thought it would. I wasn’t hideous. I still thought that Chris was being nice. There was no way I looked as “beautiful as I have ever been” but maybe I was still a little desirable. Maybe Chris was trying to say that.
‘I should really go to bed’ I said out-loud but not loud enough for anyone to hear of course. I put the shirt back on and turned around and moved towards the toilet. As I reached down I felt moisture on my fingers. I was wet. This was a strange feeling. I hadn’t felt that way in a long time. I felt a tingle. My left hand found its way and cupped my breast. My touch was softer and slower than when I cupped by breast to express milk. The fabric of the loose shirt rubbed against my enormous nipples.
I heard a moan that sobered me up. I looked around the bathroom and there was no one there. Was that me? Oh God that did feel very good. I was wet. I sat down on top of the closed toilet and started to rub my clit. I didn’t know exactly what I was doing anymore. It had been so long. My thick bush tickled my palm as I slowly rubbed my clit. The feeling was almost foreign to me. I wished someone was touching me and kissing my body, Larry of course. I wished he would wake up and come in here and maybe we can try to have sex again. Maybe this time it would work. God I missed sex. I missed being touched and grabbed. I missed the feeling of being fucked. I missed dick.
I was leaning back now against the cold back of the toiler. My left hand cupped my left breast and rubbing my hard nipples. My right hand was strategically rubbing my clit. My left foot leveraged on the edge of the tub. My eyes were closed, my back arched. I tried to not let out another moan, but a deep breath escaped me. My pace and breathing quickened. Almost with no warning I felt an eruption of pleasure and warmth wave from my head to the tips of fingers and back. I continued to rub and the waves of pleasure continued to hit me. I small scream escaped my lips. I was orgasming. I squeezed my nipples harder. O God. I kept rubbing. My left leg hovered in the air and my stomach clenched and I unintentionally sat up. The waves of pleasure slowed and gave in to a feeling of satisfaction. Slowly I was able to breath again.
I opened my eyes which had been clenched shut. I looked down I saw two huge spots on my shirt that had extended down from my nipples to the bottom of the shirt. I had leaked, a lot. My fingers were also wet and dripping. I had never gotten that wet before. Must be another new thing that changed with pregnancy. I went to stand up but I felt week. I laughed at myself. I pulled the shirt off and wiped my juices off my hands and threw it in the hamper.
“Did I hear you run the shower last night?” Larry asked during breakfast.
“No. Must have been the bathroom vent.” He went on biting into his toast.
Source: reddit.com/r/sexystories/comments/hajlen/post_baby_blue_part_iiii_fmfemale
[Part II](https://www.reddit.com/r/sexystories/comments/hajmxc/postbaby_blue_part_iiiii_fmfemale/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf)
[Part III](https://www.reddit.com/r/sexystories/comments/hajn3l/post_baby_blue_part_iiiiii_fmfemale/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf)