My first story-feedback please

Hi there all, hope you’re all having a lovely day. I’m an aspiring writer and would really love some comments and advice from readers and writers of erotica, please. This is my first attempt at writing erotica properly and I really hope you enjoy!

Www.smuttytales.blogspot.com

Please let me know what you’d like me to write next.

Thanks!

Source: reddit.com/r/Erotica/comments/h9iebp/my_first_storyfeedback_please