Luke, let me tell you about this green woman named Gamora I met in the Realm Beyond.

Luke, I know we need to discuss Yoda’s death, your battles with Vader in Cloud City and Jabba the Hut in the dunes of Tattooine as well as the coming storm and the ultimate test you will soon endure. But I need to tell you about this fine piece of alien ass I fucked in the ethereal realm. Her name is Gamora and she told me she was trapped in an afterlife known as the Soul stone. I am certain she is insane and likely on her way to the depths of the underworld.

I met her some time after my sacrifice upon the Death Star. My master Qui-Gon has trained me in the ways of the Living Force and I have been able to return from the Realm Beyond to this mortal plane to advise you and fuck with Master Yoda. That little green bastard should have let me fight the Emperor back in the day and he go to the hot ass lava planet Mustafar to kill your pops. We wouldn’t be in this mess today if that lil bitch has listened to me. But I digress. So I feel a moment of searing pain as Vader’s bled Kyber Crystal fuels with blade sliced me in Twain. I took my last breath, closed my eyes and then I was weightless.

Floating in the ether. After what could have been a moment or an eternity (time has no place in the Realm Beyond), I began to see shape and color. Soon there was a horizon but the terrain was liquid, as far as the eye could see – ankle deep water. I wandered. After a time I was certain Qui-Gon had forsaken me. I fell to my knees then to my hands and I pounded the slippery surface, the liquid splashing my weather worn visage. The Whills wept.

More time passed. My gaze was unfocused, my back against the water – ears submerged and sound was muffled. Her face appeared above me and my mind perceived her briefly as an Angel from the moons of Viego. Those damn angels by the way, your father used to go on and on about those sluts. When he was 12 I caught him with a copy of Huttster – a good spank rag that was popular in a more civilized age, before the Dark Times, before the Holonet Virtual Boning Empire. He was wanking his meatsaber to some skank whore Viegan Angel who had her coos spread wide and had one of those long, white fingers slid up inside. He had it bad for the bitches. But anyway, i thought this was one of those but i quickly realized she was the wrong color. She was green, like that biatch Yoda – I’m dead causa him – fucker.

Anyway, she was green and alien but not an alien form that I was familiar with. She spoke but the liquid in my ears drown out the words. She yanked my ears above water and said “Terran?” I had no idea what she meant. I composed myself, realized I was Fucking Obi-Wan Kenobi and in my best panty dropping voice said “Hello there.”

She asked a bunch of questions. Said something about her dad killing her. All I heard from that was “daddy issues” and got off the ground. I spoke in that smooth ass way I did to you like I first did (also, I was pretty close to fucking you too on that day we met. I saw some Holonet pics of you altered to resemble a chick. It’s lonely in the desert wastes beyond the Junland – I fucked a Sandpeople chick one time. Pussy was as dry as your mom’s Naboo Thanksgiving turkey. But doesn’t matter – had sex. All that to say you almost got fucked.) Digress again. Sorry.

She was talking more. Something about Infinity Stones and an invisible assassin named Draxson or something. There was talk of a boyfriend and I started to ask more – I sensed troubled waters and remembered what Master Ki-Adi-Mundi told me one time. He said “always talk to the bitches kindly when they got boyfriend problems. Make them rely on you. Remember, a shoulder to cry on becomes a dick to ride on.”

So I started to console, but all of a sudden this epic cacophony sounded and a rush of ill wind spread across us. I buckled. It was as if a GOZILLION voices suddenly cried out and then were suddenly silenced. I fear something terrible had happened. I was on my hands and knees again. Then I heard sobs and panting. I looked and saw she had felt it as well. I crawled to her, placed a hand on her shivering shoulder. She slightly recoiled in fear. Then those black eyes of hers, large like the moon Tabido, locked with mine. I saw great fear and sadness and also something else. There was a hunger that only another could satisfy. Whatever had happened across the universe or multiverse or shared universe or wherever I was and what was going one – it had awakened a need in her. She needed companionship and a reassuring presence. Even though she was some alien species I’d never seen I too was game and she had a killer ass and some sexy ass shoulder muscles – I dig chicks with shoulder muscles. I met an Imperial Drop Trooper once that was jacked and got me off. Still crank out little youngling justice thinking about those shoulders.

I knew what I wanted. I wanted to see what my white splooge would look like against that green skin.

But enough about that for now. I can see by the raging Hardon pressing against those sable trousers you want to know more. What was that pussy like, did it taste better than Your moms, or your sisters? Oh yes, I need to tell you about that. But more will come later under one condition. You must face Darth Vader again. Kill that little bitch like Yoda should have and I’ll let you know all about that sweet Gamora pussy

But just let me say – she was a GOOD friend.

Source: reddit.com/r/Erotica/comments/h00b2e/luke_let_me_tell_you_about_this_green_woman_named