Hi, I’m working on an erotic poem and I’m not sure if I’m heading in the right direction. This is the first draft – I’d love to get some feedback. I want to hint about submission through my poem, and I don’t know if needs more descriptions or something.
You’re gentle caresses one moment
Harsh whips the next
Nestled in the sweet spot between
Love and abuse
For I’m a slave to pain
Treasuring the black and blue
Left behind by you
Gentle pretence doesn’t last long
Your eyes shine with fiery dominance
Commanding me silently
My lips slick with anticipation,
Greet you eagerly
As guttural groans escape your lips
My loins burn in response
Sweet wetness running down milky thighs
A carnal cry dying around your shaft
Hot wetness running down rosy cheeks
As I crave every inch of you
With every inch of me
Source: reddit.com/r/Erotica/comments/glq15i/poem_about_oral_submission_id_appreciate_feedback