When I hit that Suplex on the alligator he flipped me on my back and started to role. I had no idea wtf I was gonna do, so I blasted him back into the pond scum from which he came. I threw my leg into that croco’s sternum and he smiled and said, ” do drugs kiddos” before biting down hard on his own tail. At this point, I was so angry, that I was lactating. With him being forged in the fires of mount clap ass itself, he could death toll me so fucking bad my scapula would tear in two. Basically I just shot the crocodile and I got arrested by fish and wildlife services cause Carole Fuckin Baskin pays those bitches off.
So after I got arrested by fish and wildlife, I slipped one of the guards a fat stack and he let me pass with a warning. I knew I had to claim revenge on El Crocodilo, so I found the biggest fucking magic dragon money could buy, said fuck the lube, and drove on down to the Everglades, also the home of that bitch Carole Baskin. I found him, in all his glory, on the edge of clear water pond. “Fiddlesticks”, he cried, as he propped up on two legs and ran away. He had become bipedal. I chased after him and leaped into the air, thrusting the magic dragon straight into its miniscus. He roared a mighty roar, as he fell to the ground. I had perfectly skewered the beast, while simultaneously piercing the sun. After twisting that croco’s dick tighter than a hydraulic press, I carried on to find that his children had just hatched and scurried off into the marsh. I could not let this happen. I must end his bloodline.
It was time to annihilate El Crocodilo’s bloodline. I realized the man I must become to defeat these beasts, the courage I must muster in order to fell the animals who have smoten many men such as myself. Like the alligator forged in the fires of mount clapass itself that was currently laying before me, I proceeded to go absolute sicko mode on some fuckin croco’s. I turned to midgemong, thinking he would be lubricated axle in between a mexican mans left quadricep easy, however the beast was not easily skewered, as he realeased the primordial ooze from his pouch. After squeezing my double roided triple fist right handed semi sore beating tool tighter than a hydraulic press, I completely obliterated the beast, by dropping 457 lbs of my hippo ass onto the animal. My scapula was still torn into the shape of an amsterdam strippers spine, but I had smoten the beast.
So like I was saying I started triple fisting midgemong, El Crocodilo’s youngest, and then out of nowhere that fuckin bitch Barole Baskin leaps into the air and starts doing some weird ritualistic dancing shit so I beat the fuck out of her and feed her to senor gomez who just fucking obliterates her almost as bad as those tigers obliterated her husband. Like I mean HOLY FUCK. My quest to end the bloodline of el crocodilos continued, and it started with his second youngest, Gregorny. I blasted the holy fucking shit out of Gregorny before you know it he started fucking doing this crazy karate clonic and snorting about 35 kilos of ketamine. Now because of the ketamine, he completely ceased to feel pain. He charged at me so I pulled out my .22 plinkster and dumped a mag directly into his left obliquelar. The rounds were completely deflected by by my man Gregorny’s strong core, cause hes been an avid subscriber to 6 minute abs. So I shoved my hand up his ass and pupppeted him. The End?
So essentially after I started violently slurping on Gregorny and subsequently ending his life I moved on to El Crocodilo’s middle child, George. Now, my main man Gregorny had a core stronger than the center of the solar system but as they say “blessed is he who skippeth not the day of legs”.My man george’s leg game was stronger then a Karens persistance to see the manager and look how the turn tables.in our battle George started blasting me. Jesus christ his blastor game is STRONG.But mine was stronger. I threw a triple rounded double shin nerve ending ttiple quadquintile seizure at my man’s thoracolumbarfascia. This was not the end . Joe Exotic recently released from prison saw Barole Caskin after her blasting and started screaming racial obscenities. As Joe dispatched Barole, I swiftly threw my sternum into George’s left Achilles heel. He fell, dying in pain. I the clear dominate alfa male, made george taste my breast milk. He was not smoten, but he was touched by his uncle.
So after I promptly castrated my fated elated crock gregorny, george, and midgemong, I turned to the second eldest, El trabajo extrano. El trabajo extrano was a bat outta west compton or some shit cause he was Fuckin ROIDED. My mans got an adductor longus two times the width of George’s thoracolumbar fascia. I lept into the arena and trabajo extrano started bleating tons of Nazi propaganda that is really just not appropriate for the children. I jumped on El Trabajo Extrano’s left adductir magnus. I wrapped around to try and leg my man but he wouldnt stop injecting horse tranqualizer. Not knowing what to do, I threw a vertical upside down thoracombastic intragluteal magnocentrineic extrenuous haymaker at my mans left mentalis. I started to lift up so trabajo extrano in that fake wwe bullshit type move when he thrust himself downward and started to rotate.RAPIDO. To decelerate the crock, I pulled out my 9 and dumped 8 mags into his obliquelars. I then, ate his penis.
So after I dispatched of el trabajo extrano, i moved on to the eldest, mjörñ H éìdb Ë Ç k Ë Ñ. Now his tricep hame is the strongest in West county Virginia. I blasted him eight times, molested his preacher, dumped a mag of 418 into his left ballsack and ate his offspring. It had been done. Howsver my quest was not over. Joe exotic, still spewing racial obscenities, was unable to over power Barole caskin and her millions of dollars in drug money. I formed an alliance with joe, ergo I became his 5th husband, and went to go get that animal rights bitch left obliquelet. We lept into the scene, joe exotic started to blast every non payed cool cat and kitten in the vicinity with a 20 gauge whilst I drop kicked the hole ballsack out of Barole Caskin. She grew claws and sprouted cat ears like some weird furry shit and thats just the scum of the earth. After refreshing myself by drinking my own lactate, I pounced upon Barole and beat her ass
I unleashed a massive karate clonic on barole caskin and it look as though she had been fed to the tigers that she definitely fed her husband to. She was still kick in though, so I got a fire work and rammed it up her obliquelar cavity. She sreamed in pain. I was yet again the alfa male, as I quickly performed that judocko shit on joe and killed his ass, I had reigned supreme as the king of the bible belt. I suplexed a shark into barole and gave her millions to the bernie or bust society so they could go find a good presidential candidate. I riared a mighty roar whilst hosing the park with lactate. This was my swamp now, I wxclaimed as I picked up joe’s AR and threw it on my back, ready to demolish any more heathens that came my way
Suddenly, the USAF started to encroach on my territory, so I grabbed Joe’s AR-15 with dat 100 round quadstack kicked open the door and started blasting. 5 of the guards were immediately struck with the rounds, and ones rifle had been struck with joes handloads. I slung the rifle on my back and got into full mount on the USAF agent. I ponced upon him, slif up on his chest, tore open my shirt and made hum eat my breast milk. I said, “If you bite, you will no longer have an asshole.” His mates came ’round and saw what was occuring, they were so repulsed that they dropped their guns and started to eat eachother. One started to resist the absolutely fucking abhorrant sight beforest them and charged at me. I suplexed it and threw my leg directly into his achilles crease. He moaned in sexual exitement, while he too succumbed to the horrors of south Oklahoma. The USAF had been defeated on this day.
With the USAF registered into a steve harvey fleshlight, I moved on to my bitter rival Gigachad. Joes AR and my .22 plinkster did negligable damage against Gigachads massive frame. I got in on a powerlock, but he was unliftable. Gigachad being forged in the fires of randy pitchfords asscheeks, I suplexed Gigachad onto his achilles ACL and blasted him. He was smoten. After taking a quick victory drink Of gigachads std ridden dna, I moved on to my next oponant, whoever that may be, and whenever that time is, I’ll be there. Florida man, signing off
*Gigachad, rising from the ashes, proclaims his vengeance on all Florda Men, whilst simultaneously racking the charging handle on his double barrelled AK-47*
Source: reddit.com/r/Erotica/comments/gc1r4v/florida_man_x_el_crocodilo_a_recenge_story_a_tale