Our weirdest (swingers) evening ever [swinging; group; fraud; unwanted contact; hilarity]

Swingers who play regularly with others will invariably run into all kinds of craziness- it’s the nature of the beast that when people get naked, you just cannot predict for sure how it’s going to end, and whose body is going to end up on the floor! However, some situations outshine the rest in terms of pure batshit craziness, and I have one for the ages to tell you about.

My partner Anna and I were planning to meet another couple, Val and Hank at a local gay bar/drag club. I had tapped Val’s sexy pussy at an orgy the week before, but we were interested in getting to know them better as people, connecting, and see if Hank and Anna were into each other enough for a foursome fuckfest. Anna and I showed up at the local club and got good seats at a table near the stage. Anna is a ravishing curvy raven-haired beauty, and by coincidence, Val also had jet black hair- I was thinking this was going to be an amazing double blowjob later if things went my way. Anna was starting to have her standard vodka and Red Bull when Val and Hank walked in. Val was tall, slender, black haired, and sexy in her braless party dress. Hank was a good looking gentleman who tended to just sit where Val told him, and not talk much. Both were in their late 30’s, I am thinking. We had just started to greet them warmly when another couple came up. Val pulled the lady over to us, and introduced her as her good friend Susan. Susan was an absolutely knockout, model gorgeous with short hair, a pixie face, glinting blue eyes, and tattoos covering her neck and arms- and huge, clearly fake tits riding high on a dancer’s body. Susan surreptitiously squeezed my ass as she hugged me, and nipped a quick kiss at my ear. Susan then kissed Anna on the mouth and then turned to her date. “This is Frank.” She said. Frank was an older guy, with a full head of short white hair, completely tanned, and very handsome. “Frank’s a doctor.” Susan told us.

The six of us enjoyed the drag show, which was mostly pretty crossdressers doing lipsync karaoke to club tunes. The three gals got fucked up on vodka drinks, and were loud, flirty, kissing, occasionally flashing tits at us or others. Frank turned out to be a cool guy- for instance at one time singing along to the lyrics of a Jimmy Buffett song, and at another, standing up to dance with one of the cross dressing performers gliding past our table. Frank was a knowledgeable guy, apparently about everything, and was just talking nonstop on a dozen subjects. Hank just sat there, only getting up occasionally to grab Val another drink, but never saying a word. Val sat on one side of me, and had her hand in my lap half the show, rubbing and playing with my cock (which remained in my jeans.) Occasionally Susan, who was sitting on the other side of me, would reach over and squeeze my cock and giggle, and once leaned across me and started making out with Val, right in front of my face. Anna was getting rubbed by Frank, who seemed to love her busty tits. At one point a bouncer came by and asked us to tone it down- we were a little too sexy for this club. The gals managed to sit back and be good for about 30 seconds.

At one point, the gals had wandered off to hit the bathroom or the bar, and Hank was absent too, and Frank turned to me. “Y’all are swingers, right?” he asked. “Yep.” I told him. He nodded, grinning happily. “Awesome.”

When the drag show wound down, with five drunkards at my table, three of them hot ladies, all obviously horny, Frank stepped up to the plate. “Let’s all go back to my place.” He offered. We all agreed, and decided to get a few bottles of rum on the way and then hit his condo, which was in one of the ritziest buildings in our city.

So after stopping to grab a bottle of Capt. Morgan’s at a sleazy liquor store, we headed up to Frank’s place, and the six of us found ourselves in his living room, looking at a massage table. Frank was not only a doctor of traditional medicine, but also some holistic stuff like acupuncture, pressure points, voodoo, or something (not sure- don’t remember these details.) Frank suggested Val lie down, and he began rubbing her legs. Hank was just sitting there. Anna and Susan were kissing and had pulled their dresses down, and were comparing tits. I looked around, thinking: “This is going to end well.” Frank rubbed while Val moaned, and I think he had her just to the edge of a teasing orgasm, when he slapped the side of her ass, and said. “Off. We need to rub Anna’s legs.”

Val looked a little annoyed, but got up, and Anna lay down. Frank was hitting pressure points, which hurt her a little, so he told Val and Susan to suck on her tits “to distract her.” By this time I had taken off my shirt and pants, and was sitting in underwear, my cock hard, watching this little lez fest in front of me. Hank was just sitting there, staring quietly. I couldn’t tell if he was excited or not.

The girls kissed and began sucking each other’s tits, and Anna was moaning with lust, when Frank, who this whole time had been expounding on some fucking thing or another completely unrelated to what was happening in the room, slapped Anna’s ass and looked at Susan: “Take her into the bedroom and finish her off.” He told Susan. Obediently, Susan took Anna by the hand and led her to the nearest bedroom.

I stripped out of my skivvies, cock jutting out, and followed them into the bedroom, where they had fallen into a huge king size bed, kissing, sucking, stripping off their remaining clothes. I didn’t hesitate, diving in between these two gorgeous honeys. No sign of Val or Hank, but I figured they were probably grabbing a smoke, and then would be right in to join us.

Val and Hank had left however, a fact I discovered a while later. More on that below. Anyway, Frank walks in, looking a little pissed off. I looked up at him, and realized that he had wanted just the girls to play, and apparently had wanted to discuss sports or spider monkeys or whatever the fuck he was on about, with me, out in the living room. Well, fuck that. “Come on,” I told him. He kind of begrudgingly got naked and jumped on the bed with us.

We fucked the girls in numerous positions and combinations for about a half hour. Frank was very talkative and spent that half hour professing his love for Susan the entire time, even when he was fucking Anna, and I was banging his hot girlfriend’s pussy from behind, ramming her face into the pillows. It was a little annoying that Frank wasn’t shutting up about his obvious heart-felt love for Susan, but the sex was good, so Anna and I just played ball. Literally.

About a half hour into it, things started to get weird. I was lying back in the middle of the bed, eyes closed, in kind of a daze, as Anna and Susan licked and sucked my entire body. It was blissful, and I was in a happy place, until I had the slow, dawning recognition, as I lay there with eyes closed, that there were too many hands and mouths on my body to be accounted for by two women…

I opened my eyes and looked down to see Frank furiously jerking off my cock. I yelled “No!” really loud, and sat up. Frank leaped off the bed, angry. “I’m fucking sorry!” he said. The girls were just giggling like drunken sluts do when crazy shit happens during sex. “It’s fine.” I told him. “I’m straight though. Sorry.” He looked angry, but the girls and I mollified him a little, and he got back into the bed and we started fucking the ladies again, side by side doggy style, switching girls every few minutes.

A few minutes later I was fucking Susan from behind, sliding my dick into her perfect body, while she sucked on Frank, with Anna cuddled on him, stroking his cock into Susan’s mouth. Frank was saying shit like: “He’s going to cum in your cunt, fill your hot snatch with jizz, babe, and I’m going to lick it all out and swallow it.” Then he seamlessly went back into “You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me and I want to spend every minute of the rest of my life with you…” mode.

Anna and I were giving each other a series of WTF looks hearing that. We sexed in various positions for about ten more minutes.

And then the shit hit the fan.

Frank sat up and looked at me. “So, you like Susan?” He asked me. I was fucked pretty stupid, and just looked at him and said “Sure.” “Good,” he said. “You can have her. Now get the FUCK out of my house!” And he started pushing the three of us toward the door, throwing our clothes at us. Three minutes later, Anna and Susan and I were standing in the carpeted hallway outside his door, the girls adjusting their clothes, and all three of us wondering what the fuck had just happened.

So we started talking, and here is the rest of the story:

1. Susan had never been with a woman before. Val was her friend and had been grooming her for a year and they had planned for Val to be her first- and it got fucked up, Val got pissed, and she left with Hank in tow. (I never saw Val again. She disassociated from our entire group after that night.)
2. Susan had only been dating Frank for a week, hardly knew him, and had not had sex with him, even kissed him before tonight.
3. Frank had been bragging to Susan for a week that he was a king swinger, ran a big group of lifestyle people, and that he’d hook her up with some good ones. In fact, Frank had nothing to do with our group, or any group of swingers, as far as I knew. So he was a fucking liar.
But it got better.

Anna pipes up. And you know his name isn’t Frank, right? His name is Jack. I recognize him- I went to his clinic a few years ago and he treated me- but obviously didn’t remember me.

I shrugged. No big deal on the names. Swingers do that sometimes.

But Susan’s jaw dropped. “His name fucking isn’t Frank? I wondered why the pill bottles in his bathroom didn’t match his name!” Yes, Doctor Jack had been deceitfully dating Susan for an entire week under a false name, under false pretenses, and the entire time had been calling her his “soul mate” and “the love of his life” and other happy horseshit like that.

We made sure Susan was able to drive, exchanged numbers, and she left. Anna and I drove home laughing about how much fucked up shit you could have in one evening, and still have a marvelous time.

Susan must have been embarrassed by it all, because despite texts from us offering to get closer with her, she never contacted us or anyone in our group ever again.

Source: reddit.com/r/Erotica/comments/e34v55/our_weirdest_swingers_evening_ever_swinging_group