..and judging from your response, I guess you enjoyed that little feeling of power the other day? You enjoyed how uneven this exchange is and how I’m forcing myself to just be honest and acknowledge it? Logically this shouldn’t really feel personal at all. I’m making a completely public post, I’m not sending this to any specific person. But right in this exact moment, this is very personal isn’t it? These are my real words, my real thoughts and they are laid at your feet waiting for your judgment.
I’m not trying to even be philosophical or witty, a real version of me is talking directly to you. Yes, the real you right now reading this. I know I don’t actually know you but I’ve thought about you. I’m not sitting here trying to talk to a group of people, I’m talking to only one person right now and I have absolutely no power in choosing who that person is. I didn’t get to pick you out of a lineup and privately send you this. If you’re already reading this, then I literally have no way of stopping you from continuing to look at me can I?
I could try to resist, I could explicitly tell you right now that I don’t give you permission to continue reading my thoughts like this. And the you I’m referring to is the real fucking you reading this right this second. I’m not talking to a subreddit or a group of people, I’m talking directly to you and telling you that I’m not giving you consent to see me splayed out like this.
…but you’re still reading this though aren’t you? Do you enjoy the fact that I can’t stop you and that I’m so damn aware of that fact right now? Is it exciting for you to know how electric it’s making me feel? It’s an incredibly personal kind of violation, and I want you to stop but I can’t lie and pretend I’m not insanely turned on by you. Whatever sex, whatever age you are I’m sitting here shaking a little typing this because you have control over me in this bizarre way.
Are you smirking a little bit while looking at your screen reading this? Are you making the version of me talking to you emphasize certain words? Are you making my tone playful or frustrated? I can’t control it and I can feel that. You get an intimate look inside my head for these moments and you still get to mold me however you want in this time. I have to just sit here and accept that fact.
I don’t know where the hell this is going, but I can’t stop myself from just sitting down and filling up this text box with whatever comes into my head.
Still completely and utterly yours,
Sarah
Source: reddit.com/r/sexystories/comments/beo9co/f_my_second_little_confessional_im_still_trying
Hmmm. Fascinating.
Hotter.