Time Life Presents Secretions of Magic Revealed : Keep only the books you want. Sand all the others back for a full refund. Starring Dom Deloise. (Working Title)

Once a poonanny upon a tit, i was on a ghostcunting expedition on milcauke, north carolina. My name is Bob Hardstone. I aims to please, men and women, but more about that later. Me and some of my ghost hunting homies that I met at the gathering of the Juggalos have discovered the truth; that ghosts are real…and so is cum. And ectoplasm is just ghost cum. You said your first sexual experience was with a ghost. No, I didn’t. Yeah, you did. On the first Beach Cops. It was a dark and stormy night. We had all of our ghost cunting equipment: an analred thermometer, motion censors, cameras, an EMF detector, and of course, a copy of Penthouse Letters, our favorite Pube-lick-cation…for when the ghosts weren’t biting. I met my friends at the old Cumfederate Cum-cemetery. They say that if you fuck in there…that your cum will come to life and crawl back into your balls with chains. Marcy told us that there was a ghost there. THey say that if you put your cum in the ground, the ghost will suck it. Or, if you’re a lady and you squat over the grave, he’ll fuck you. But, it feels cold and empty. In our group, was Pookie, the 500 pound psychic, who made us pay him in hamburgers. Then, there was Trixy, a beautiful trans woman, who sucks a mean dick and preys upon tourists to the Florida area. We had Janet, a housewife, who had an interest in the macabre, and was looking to spice up her boring, sexless life. She also had a weird fascination with Andrew, a local boy, who drew naked pics of his teachers and was known around town for his bad boy good looks and easy access boners.

So, then twenty minutes later, everyone was fucking. Some were even buttfucking. A different group, comprised of Jeff and Ryan, who were just doing genuine ghost hunting, had night vision and were watching the action. It was WILD. Bob was fucking the ghost, while Janet gyrated on top of a tombstone. Meanwhile, Andrew was riding the grass so hard that we were concerned that he was going to dig up a corpse with his powerful thrusts. Oh no, is that the cemetery caretaker, Schmelvyn Moyville? Yes it is. He’s driving right at us in his pickup truck. Bob didn’t have a condom, so he found a used one on the ground. It turns out, he got AIDS from it. Poor Bob didn’t do well with the AIDS. He slowly but steadily wasted away and ended up in the local hospital, but that didn’t help cause it was right next to the paper mill, and he had to breathe in the fumes, which made him super horny cause he used to date a paper mill. Getting horny made the AIDS a lot worse. He called all his old friends in to see him one last time. Everybody, including Pookie the 500 pounder, got together to jerk Bob off one last time. Pookie dipped Bob’s dick in a bowl of ketchup and sucked it. Also, Janet put on a dental dam and rode Bob’s face, which was courageous, cause she was scared she’d get AIDS. she’s a nurse at the local school and may have sex with the students. No. Yes, you gotta put that in there. Bob died. We buried him in the cemetery. Also, Bing Bong was in the room when Bob died. Wait, Janet was Bing Bong the whole time. This is set in 1984.

Source: reddit.com/r/eroticstories/comments/aopehy/time_life_presents_secretions_of_magic_revealed