Nestled amongst grand green hills washed in sunlight was a vineyard belonging to a Blake Castle. The Blanket Estate had been his since the ‘70s and the older he got, the more time he spent out there. It was isolated but close enough. That is where I was heading. I knew he would be there. Blake went to the vineyard to get peace. He almost never took anybody out there. Was he going to mind? I didn’t tell him I was coming. As I pulled up, I felt hesitation. I saw him pottering around the back deck, sweeping actually. How domesticated. The winds had been high and torn quite a few of the shrubs to pieces. Was this a good idea? He saw the car and ran towards me.
*“Kitty…what are you doing here, I heard a car and thought what the hell…no one ever visits me here. My muse…something must be wrong. I hardly ever have a soul come out here and visit me other than the kids.”*
*“Frank is scaring me and I cannot deal with anybody.”*
*“Not even Seth or Stephen?”*
*“No, Blake. I had to get away from everybody.”*
*“You know, I come out here to get away from everybody too.”*
*“Am I intruding?”*
*“Not at all, pretty lady. Please come in. I am a little honoured you saw me as a guardian! I am sorry I am not better attired. Like I said, I was not expecting anybody. Get out of the car. I have the fire on inside and I will make you a cup of tea. You look like you need one.”*
He was just in a bathrobe, not bothering to dress. I had just thrown on a t-shirt and a pair of track pants. I looked nothing like the muse he spoke of.
*“You cannot just go throwing such nice things at me when I look like shit.”*
*“I will say what I like, regardless. You know very well I fancy you rotten and I have seen you look less than perfect many times.”*
*“I have just sat through a meeting with Luke Bellamy – do you know who he is?”*
*“He was that doppelganger of Stephen’s. He is an actor. A damn good one.”*
*“I was wearing just my nightgown, and not a spot of makeup on my face.”*
*“Problem being?”*
*“Well I would rather have liked to impress the young Bellamy more than I did.”*
*“Oh you sound like a cougar already…how old are you?”*
*“Forty-six.”*
*“Kitty, there is a redness on your face…did a certain someone strike you?”*
*“Frank slapped me.”*
I felt Blake put his arms around me and hug me. It freaked me just a bit – Blake was always an older brother until quite recently. Every man feels different. Every man smells different. Every man does things a different way. Blake felt very comforting.
*“I knew I could seek comfort from you somehow, but it feels a little peculiar and confusing…how did I meet you again?”*
*“I met you through Minnie because I was dating her sister, Harmony. In turn, I also met Seth. We both shared a common love of music. Then I met you.”*
*“I never had an older sibling so it is quite wonderful to have the ever lovely you protect us dear girls from harm. You did it back then and you still do it now. Tell me, are you happier painting than playing bass?”*
*“I am, I think I am becoming a far more spiritual person. But how did I become this other thing? You know what I speak of.”*
*“Why am I suddenly sexually attracted to you, it feels wrong.”*
It bounced around in my mind.
*“It is only wrong if you were hurting somebody else and Frank is out of the picture. I hope you asked him for a divorce.”*
*“Why do you think I copped the hand to my face?”*
*“Bastard. I especially do not want to play bass now. Anyhow how long do you think you will be here?”*
*“A few days. That is all. I have had a very tumultuous day.”*
*“How did it start?”*
*“I didn’t sleep well. I got up and there was a meeting of minds. The doppelganger Luke Bellamy, along with Stephen. Luke proposed an idea – he had written a screenplay of my memoir.”*
*“Oh my lord. How do you feel about that? I bet you are worried and excited.”*
*“I am. Because all it needed was my go ahead and my permission, after all, the screenplay is based on something I wrote. Produced by Jet. Directed by my son Jim. I am to be played by Jonquil.”*
*“Have they assigned any other roles yet?”*
*“No. I believe Luke and Jet are working on that shortly. I believe this is going to be a very confronting thing. It is one thing to write your life down. People will imagine it a certain way. To have it visually represented…wow, that just takes the cake.”*
*“Will they gloss over the heavy sexual elements?”*
*“To a degree, yes. It is to be Adults Only but not pornographic. I hope not anyhow – my daughter is playing me. That is frightening!”*
*“As for Frank, how the hell did he get in the house?”*
*“I cannot bar him, as I do not have a protection order. He suddenly turned up. He was intimidating me. I am not putting up with that shit. I said I wanted a divorce. Next thing you know, slap. I spoke to Stephen, told him what was going on. I left the house. I should have filed a protection order. What he goes back and just fucks things up even more?”*
*“Why be like this at all?”*
*“I figure we better start looking after our back up plans because I think the band may be done and dusted. I am not sure what I am going to do.”*
*“And here you are. You find sanctuary with me. Things must be bad if you couldn’t even face Stephen or Seth. Should they be worried?”*
*“No. I just need a little time for the pain to subside. I am beginning to view my world very differently. I would have been a far more wilted bird of paradise. I am not prepared to fade completely. I believe the things getting me down, the knocking back – I have had to cop it from Sally via the media – and Frank’s appalling behaviour.”*
It was very true. The more shit you throw at me, the better I get.
*“Come over here and have a drink with me. The latest batch of dolce is about to go on sale. I have the first bottles here. You’ll like it.”*
It was spring. The valley was still a little chilly. Blake had the fire on constantly. There was a canvas with the faintest lines of pencil lead on it. Curves of course. There was an old turntable with a selection of vinyls. I recalled the vinyls. It was time to recount a story to Blake. One knows I often spoke very fondly of the past, especially at university. Even though Seth, who was my primary focus, was not on good terms with me at the time, I had forged brilliant jewels of friendships with others. It was a time of little money and more freedom. None of the trappings of fame. Fame is not that great sometimes.
*“Stephen and yourself..had the most imposing record collection. I remember when we were setting up for parties for the social club, there would be this tattered banana box full of vinyls. Me squawking ‘You stupid people, don’t leave the box by the window, they will warp.’ Music now is just so…I don’t know. A little silver disc? Vinyl was special. Turntable with the amps because Stephen had the most fan-fucking-tastic gear. There you were, spinning the discs, back before all the fancy gear. Did you ever get bored?”*
*“No, because I was of course, drinking on the job. I remember you going ballistic at me once because the record had a scratch. I cannot remember what record it was, but no one else in the room noticed because they were off their face. You too were off your face, yet you noticed. ‘THE RECORDING IS FUCKING SKIPPY, BLAKE’.Skippy? Hilarious. The room reverberated to this ‘FA-FA-FA-FA-OH FUCKING SWITCH IT JUST A LITTLE BIT’. You were so over the top angry. Such a firecracker. Jumping up and down with your boobs jiggling about. It was cute.”*
*“I sound so anal. Oh parties, what a refuge. Lovesick me.”*
*“Hardly. There was porno on the dance floor. Stephen and you were all over each other something shocking and yet it didn’t shock a person. Everyone knew you were screwing each other. Stephen changed after he met you. He was quite serious and rather overly academic before then. Even though he started the social club. He really did let loose when you turned up. He was always forward, don’t get me wrong. But I hadn’t seen him touch a drop of alcohol or heaven forbid, the drugs.”*
*“He was the perfect antidote to Seth. Now he is the perfect antidote to Frank.”*
*“How about I put a record on?”*
I heard the familiar whistles and squeaks of the vinyl. The music came on.
>Take time to see the wonders of the world
>To see the things you’ve only ever heard of
>Dream life the way you think it ought to be
>See things you thought you’d never ever see
>Take a cruise to China or a train to Spain
>Go ’round the world again and again
>Meet a girl on a boat, meet a boy on a train
>And fall in love without the pain
>Everybody needs love and adventure
>Everybody needs cash to spend
>Everybody needs love and affection
>Everybody needs two or three friends
>These are the things, these are the things
>The things that dreams are made of
>These are the things, these are the things
>The things that dreams are made of
*“Oh wow. I love The Human League. I didn’t get to go out much to clubs in the early ‘80s because of the babies. It was hugely exciting to have those records though. Synthesiser wasn’t such a dirty word anymore. So very different from our university experience.”*
*“Saturday nights at the Arts building. I always arranged to meet you outside, on the corner. It was often you and Minnie together, holding hands because both of you were cold. Tight sweaters were the thing back then. Three girls with pointy tits and wide hips. I loved it. Stephen was already in the building. If Frank ever came, he would turn up halfway through, hammered out of his brain.”*
*“Ah yes – the three girls…myself, Minnie and Alexia.”*
*“Where is Alexia these days?”*
*“I last saw her being a trolley dolly on a commercial flight and that was in 1985. I was chaperoning Angel then just before she got that TV contract.”*
*“My how the mighty fall.”*
*“I don’t quite…never mind…you know what, Blake, I don’t think you and I have been alone for quite some time. There has always been some other person. Actually, that is a lie. The last time was last year.”*
*“It is almost dangerous you being out here alone with me, you realise.”*
*“Why?”*
*“Is this because you have developed some little school girl crush on me? Does it make you feel a little uncomfortable? If it does, then good. My job is done.”*
*“How do you mean?”*
*“You get off on this flirting don’t you?”*
*“Perhaps I do. Should I feel guilty?”*
*“You answer that.”*
*“Not at all. I am divorcing Frank. Before he slapped me, he agreed we would meet in December and lodge a joint divorce application. I will finally be allowed more freedom. While he gave me freedom of some kind, he has been so damning to me. It is better for everyone if he stays away, out of it.”*
*“I propose we get drunk and dance the night away.”*
*“Dancing in the dark?”*
*“Naked.”*
*“Not naked, nude.”*
*“Will we have sex?”*
*“No!”*
*“I take it Seth and Stephen would be not be pissed off at you being here…and if we were to do anything.”*
*“Our get-togethers just prove we are accepting of one another. That includes this oh so heavy flirting between Blake and Kitty. If you had dared suggest that to me as a teenager, I would have laughed so hard, you would have gone deaf…well prior to mid-1966.”*
*“And we are not going to have sex?”*
*“I think we have dabbled in a little naughtiness. All show pony or verbal. The word is an excellent sex toy, I find.”*
*“You are not okay are you?”*
*“No. I had Frank slap me. Can we not think about that? I came here to get away from that. Get away from everybody? I am finding Seth and Stephen are getting to me. Just a little bit. Well not them together but they keep protecting me from harm. Fair enough but I want to strike out alone. Without the influences of my partners.”*
*“Stephen is not in a relationship with you is he?”*
*“Oh the unwritten rule. We wasted tension on one another because we cannot commit to being in love. So we know where each other stands, we just don’t expect the full caboodle.”*
*“He more or less lives with you anyhow.”*
*“Does that make you jealous?”*
*“Just a little.”*
*“I must make it clear; I didn’t head out towards the vineyard to partake in sexual volleyball with you. It is just that time of our lives, the tension is high.”*
*“I took a real punt in admitting my attraction to you, Kitty because I readily accept the fact you won’t sleep with me and I would take anything else in reserve. I store you in my mind, I will reflect on it later, laying in bed with a bottle of lube on the night stand. I would jack off just before I went to sleep imagining things you would do to me.”*
*“It is not just some fluke of nature is it? I haven’t rejected those advances. From what I heard amongst girls of all ages, is that rejection of advances is very high. Sapphire is only fifteen and is constantly rebuffing requests for dates and the like. It doesn’t matter what the guy says. What makes me different? I am no different. Ever since my university days, I was forever being asked out, being asked for sex, the like. I was very good at rejecting such offers because of my life, I have been pretty happy with the company I kept. As it happens, I have accepted your flirting because I felt things were naturally heading that way anyhow.”*
*“What suddenly changed, because I really did expect you to go apeshit at me for what I said at that art function.”*
*“The forty something Blake is far attractive than the younger Blake had been. My libido just exploded the minute I turned forty. I turned forty in 1988. Have you noticed how many interesting interludes or episodes I have had since? Seth was only able to admit his heel fetish when I was older. This situation was perhaps no different but I was not going to just give myself up to you. Perfect show pony material.”*
*“Goddamn, Kitty, you cocktease. I love it.”*
*“Admit it, if I had come out for refuge a few years ago, this purely would have been old friends looking after one another.”*
*“Hasn’t it been like that?”*
*“Not quite. You wanted to play doctors and nurses with me, Blake. You coloured all of last year pink. I have heard many apt descriptions of my pussy, but that one was simple.”*
*“Does it make you excited that I speak like that?”*
*“Blake, you are more or less forbidden fruit. I always had a thing for forbidden fruit. I shouldn’t have screwed a married man. I shouldn’t have associated with a respected university lecturer. I shouldn’t have licked my best female friend’s pussy. I shouldn’t have had a threesome with my manager and husband. I shouldn’t have given my manager a blow job under his desk. I shouldn’t have flashed my tits at the leader of the band.”*
*“How about we take our clothes off, turn off the lights and not have sex?”*
*“Sounds good…”*
Despite appearing and even feeling strong, I ultimately still had this heart of glass. It was splintered. I had proved polyamory hadn’t worked. I remember the polyamory society at large showed some displeasure in me because I was not an advocate for the practice. Sure I loved polyamory but it was almost as if I could never really trust it all along. I remember while on the road with my book, I was constantly thinking this state of happiness is going to have to end. I had read countless stories of the jealousy being the deal breaker. Things with Frank died because he was jealous of my relationships with Seth, Stephen and the countless other friendships I had. Would that same emotion plague the relationships I thought were stable at the time. Seth and I were incredibly strong together. Stephen would fight to the death for my honour and Blake said he was the same.
His top came off. *“Maybe it would have been better to overnight with someone who didn’t have a sexual thing for you.”*
My top came off. *“But such people are thin on the ground.”*
*“So are we spending the night together?”*
His bottom halves came off and there he was in his underwear. He was setting me off but I had to stick to my guns. Show some resistance.
*“Well I did bring an overnight bag with me, and I suspect we are getting a bit too drunk.”*
*“I have grass too you know.”*
*“Really…do you mind if we smoke some of that?”*
*“Not at all. I wasn’t allowed near it at the other house. I don’t keep it there because of the kids.”*
*“Sure we can be dirty with one another, but I can keep by your boundaries and my rules. I am not going to have sex with you. I agreed with that.”*
It was dark outside. How the fuck did it become night already?
*“You dirty minx.”*
*“What?”*
*“You were not wearing any underwear under your jeans.”*
*“I was in a hurry…I showered then bolted. I didn’t have time to think about that”.*
With that, the bra was off and I was completely naked. Then the phone rang.
*“Excuse me a minute, Kitty, please don’t move, you look mighty fine.”*
*“Oh fuck it!”*
I heard both sides of the conversation. Blake accidentally put it on speaker phone and he initially didn’t notice. You going deaf there, Blake?
*“Hello, Blake Castle speaking?”*
*“Hey Blake, it is Seth.”*
*“Oh, Seth, nice to hear from you, I knew you would call.”*
*“Yeah…I know this is possibly a long shot but have you heard from Kitty?”*
*“Funny that you mention that, she happens to be here.”*
*“Oh I am relieved! How is my loved one? I miss her. So much.”*
*“She is in good spirits. I heard about what happened today. I believe Chord informed you.”*
*“Yeah he did. Excuse my language but fuck Frank. Fucking prick. Sorry. Chord has been in tears. Stephen was giving him all the hugs he could earlier.”*
*“I imagine Chord is worried sick. Can you let him now she is okay? She is in good hands here.”*
*“Good to know. So what has the oenologist and the butterfly been doing? I trust you are looking after her.”*
*“We have just been listening to records, reminiscing about the old days. The days where you were preoccupied with Bree.”*
*“Ha. I have had plenty of reminders of late about how much I missed out on because I married so young. Oh well.”*
*“Yeah it would have been nice to have had you around then too; you saw the error of your ways eventually.”*
*“Too right. I just want my Kitty home.”*
*“You are not annoyed she is out here with me?”*
*“Not a chance. She is in the best place possible. I can appreciate the fact she may have found us two S boys slightly clingy. Home is too full of horrid memories for her.”*
*“Thanks Seth. I appreciate that. I don’t want to step on another one’s toes, that is all.”*
*“Cheers, Blake. Can I speak to her?”*
*“I will ask her.”*
*“Kitty your bluebird wants to speak to you.”*
*“Hey bluebird.”*
*“Hey butterfly.”*
*“Hi bluebird…before you say anything…I am so sorry I took off. I couldn’t bear to be in that house any more. Not after what happened. I hope I can see you soon and there is something I need to tell you about that thorn in my side. I don’t like running away. But I couldn’t face it. Home is too filled with spoiled memories at the moment.”*
*“Shh, butterfly. You don’t have anything to be sorry about. You are keeping good company. Stephen is here too.”*
*“Have you two been up to no good?”*
*“You could say that. I have been very good with a collar on, Miss. You would have enjoyed today’s episode. I wish you were here. I am exploring so many new things and I feel like I have never been able to tell you. Stephen and I haven’t been doing this long. Look I understood his motives before but I fully understand him better now. He is quite a good drug.”*
*“Why would you need drugs?”*
*“I don’t. I just like having a colourful selection in life. The physical fascination is getting to me. Butterfly…I feel like tonight is going to be quite momentous.”*
*“How about you both come up here tomorrow? I want to have us all together.”*
*“What are you planning on doing tonight?”*
*“Wine. Music. Show pony.”*
*“That sounds my girl. Stephen sends his regards. We both miss you. I love you. I am pretty sure he does.”*
*“Night night, Bluebird. I love you. I will be home soon. Have fun, I would.”*
*“Sweet dreams, Butterfly. I love you too.”*
I hung up and felt like I was going to cry.
*“Now would be a good time for that doobie. I am starting to feel a bit anxious.”*
*“I didn’t realise I had speaker phone on – just as well he didn’t ask awkward questions.”*
*“I asked them to come over tomorrow.”*
*“That is an excellent idea – it would be nice if we could all be together, as you said. Such old friends we are.”*
I suddenly felt a pounding in my pussy. I was so frisky, I felt so guilty. I am not with the two men whom I loved with all my heart. I was here with an old friend and the sexual suggestions had been thick and fast. A real crash, boom, bang.
*“Aren’t you going to dim the lights?”*
*“Boys, boys, boys. Why dim them, when you can have me in full illumination?”*
*“So many women like sex in the dark. I never quite knew why.”*
*“What fools! I am not dancing nude in the dark. Leave the lights on.”*
*“You are not going to have sex with me are you, because I am finding you are making me as hard as a rock right now?”*
*“I am not even going to suck your cock.”*
*“Pause there for just a moment. This is rather….I suppose…desperate. I have an under ripe banana in the kitchen. I have an idea, I am still not going to have sex with you but we can get mighty close. That is only if you so desire. I am not into making you do things, Kitty.”*
*“Oh Blake…I may not get your dick wet, but I can sure drive you crazy. You just want to fuck me with that banana. This feels so very…1980.”*
*“Do you believe that was fifteen years ago?”*
*“Goddamn, we are so old.”*
*“Like I said Kitty, pause a moment.”*
Here I was, laid out like some stretched lynx on the floor. I was mighty pleased to lie down on a series of mink blankets. Blake did really live like a single man out here. I don’t remember much about the atmosphere in the room other than it was quite charged with someone quite new feeling. I cast a thought back to home. The children would be fast sleep. In the master bedroom, I imagined Seth and Stephen had set course and had started to find new things out about one another. Could I really have it all? I mean…could the man who was the love of my life find the same synergy with that other great love I had?
*“Well Blake, when are you going to stick that banana in my pink pussy then?”*
There he was, brandishing a rather green banana. A rather large one. There was a look of hesitation on his face.
*“I feel like I am crossing the line here.”*
*“Touch me too.”*
Blake suddenly looked scared.
*“Oh come off it Blake, you are not sinking dick into me, now get on with it, before I lose my groove.”*
There was that old friend of mine unpeeling that banana. I should have not found it arousing because it was so clichéd but I cannot imagine the scenario working for anyone else. I needed healing and if it had to be sexual, so be it. He went and slipped it into my pussy. I was saturated. I was being turned on by so many factors. Even the idea of having newly separated was a major buzz. I do love my life in so many ways. It was true I was abused by one person. I was the Queen Bitch to the others. Bitch meant in the nicest way possible. Sliding that rather hard banana in and out of me, I arched my back. My hands did the usual. A slow caress down before coming across my tits. My fingers squeezed my nipples tight and the response was immediate. Every single inch of my skin felt alive. Here I am again, being fucked by a piece of fruit but I was not controlling the show. Blake was.
*“Oh how I have dreamed of such an intimate moment alone with you. Close but not close enough.”*
*“I can barely speak Blake…I am just so…horny.”*
*“Would you notice if I took the banana out and starting fucking you with a cock that feels like it is going to explode, it is that damn hard.”*
*“Of course I would.”*
I now had a hand between my legs, playing with my clit while I was being banged with a banana. That pleasure is truly exquisite.
*“God, I want to fuck you so hard right now, but you won’t let me. Am I at least going to be allowed to wank after this?”*
*“Shh, Blake. Just keeping fucking me with the banana.”*
It was a slippery mess under a bright light as I would not allow it to be dark. I was overcome by thoughts of Blake. This would never have been allowed to happen years ago. There was a part of me that wanted Blake to fuck me. I would have let it happen. But we had already decided no sex, and it would have still felt wrong to do otherwise. I knew I was on show because I lasted all of three minutes. It was over so quickly. My back became even more arched, I made a lot of noise, I broke out into a sweat and my pussy just vibrated along the length of that piece of fruit. I felt all shook up. What a release.
*“Oh Kitty, if only.”*
*“One day. Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps.”*
I felt a tear come down my face
*“Is there something wrong?”*
*“A lot of things are wrong. Well not this, but I should not have suddenly taken off like I did this afternoon. Would you believe…Seth and Stephen would have consummated whatever it is they are doing tonight while we were doing this.”*
*“Do you think they went the whole way? As in they had sex?”*
*“I believe so. I believe the conditions are right. We are shutting one door with Frank and opening several more. You know what Blake, maybe you should have fucked me but there will always be next time.”*
*“Why not now?”*
*“Because I feel like now is not the right time.”*
*“I guess I am just going to have to be patient.”*
Oh, Blake – he was lying down looking particularly shattered with tiredness, yet was giving the firmest stroke to his dick. It was fair enough I touched myself in front of him. He ought to do the same for me.
*“Have a wank in front of me. I am just going to lie here. I want to watch. I want to see what it is you do. You have seen me orgasm, now it is my turn to see you.”*
*“I feel like I have stage fright – I thought masturbating for a man was such a private thing. Rhiannon hated me doing it, I had to hide it all the time.”*
*“Oh come off it, Blake! How on earth did you expect to have sex with me, if you cannot even perform the solo act with me present? Do you not see the situation the same way I do? The idea of you pleasuring yourself. You would probably be thinking about me.”*
*“I suppose you are right but there are two things you can do. Go and get my lube from the bedroom. It is not much fun having a tug dry and when you come back, turn the other light on. I cannot see you very well in the dark.”*
As I got up, I felt dizzy. The usual scenario. What am I doing, why am I doing, where am I? Blake’s room was rather small compared to the one he had at home. A typical single man’s home. A bong of all things. I never knew we had so many weed smokers in our lot. I certainly never made a habit of it. I more or less gave up everything except alcohol and caffeine.
There was a collection of Body Language magazines and I noticed the very top one was dated September 1984. Low and behold, there is me aged thirty-five. I felt so old. Why on earth would Blake want to sleep with me, when he has been wanking off to the much younger edition? I didn’t want to pick the magazine up. It looked…well used! There were a collection of photos on the bedside table. The only one I could see was one of Blake, myself and Minnie back when we were at high school. Now I know those had the one date that didn’t go so well. Nice to see we were still pride of place. No, I was not rifling through his things, these were just out there. You know when you have people visit; you almost always shut the bedroom door? Because it is a private spot.
There was the bottle of lube. Remarkably clean. In fact, it was brand new. As I leaned over the bed to grab the bottle. The soft mink blanket tickling my tummy. I heard voices…I panicked…shit, was that Frank? Then I felt a hand on my backside.I just about had a heart attack. *“What the hell?”*
I turned around and in the dim, I knew who was it was, straight away.
*“Well you got me at a compromising time, Sir. What are you doing here? More importantly…why are you here, leaving Sissy alone?”*
*“Pet, I am so amped up on hormones at the moment. I tell you Sissy is fine. He is deliriously happy. So am I.”*
*“So did you do it?”*
*“I did. Twice.”*
*“But you didn’t just fuck him and leave did you?”*
*“Fuck no. I have been lying in bed with him for the last three hours. He had his nails painted red. He had the most delicious pair of red heels on. It is a complete mind fuck. I told him I was going out to see you. He loves you, you know.”*
*“I have known that for quite a while. A real blessing…did Blake let you in?”*
*“Yes. You are a cruel mistress, Miss. He was out there by the fire, with a massive hard-on, waiting for you to come back. He apologised profusely and said you two were not going to have sex. I believe him. But even if you did have sex, it is not going to bother me. Because ultimately, I have the ownership over you. That is what the collar is for.”*
I always found the talk of the collar a little confusing. Ownership you say. So you fuck me, and you are like one of my best friends, and you love me, yet you don’t make that commitment to say HEY, I am in a relationship with you and I can OPENLY ADMIT I love you. It didn’t bother me, but yeah, did I know what ownership meant? Oh, I would have loved to have said that out loud but I was too drunk and stoned.
*“I was in here getting the lube. He was going to have a wank. I was not going to help him. All I was going to do was stand there and look pretty.”*
*“Why do that, when you can have me. Let him watch, surely that is a bit more exciting.”*
*“Are you going to let me on top?”*
Stephen Wilcox was a funny creature. As one can imagine, we have more or less tried every sex position there was but there was one that almost never happened. That was me on top. His reasoning was always that it passed the control over to me. I have been involved with this rather dom/sub thing with Stephen for years. So it never bothered me.
*“Fine.”*
Blake emerged from the living room, with a blanket covering his wang.
*“Did I hear that right?”*
*“Blake, please be quiet and take this.”*
Next thing I know, the bottle of lube was snatched from me and tossed across the room. Blake went to catch, and down the blanket went.
*“I am impressed men of our age – fuck I am going to be fifty soon – are able to still stay hard for so long. I could almost call it the Kitty Tune Effect. Blake, go sit over there. It is probably the best view.”*
Stephen, roaming around this tiny box of a room removing his clothes. I swear he constantly evolved. He seemed to have gotten a lot more muscular in the last year. I had been led to believe he was working out a lot with Seth.
In my mind, I often thought such situations were dreams. I was not actually experiencing them. I was. My life was a dream of epic proportions and I could never have imagined after losing my virginity in a teenage bedroom kinda way, would I be having threesomes and voyeuristic detours.
*“Old Stephen – sorry, not old – I don’t quite know the right words, he doesn’t even need the foreplay. I don’t think I do either.”*
*“Of course you would not, Pet. Tell me, what did you get up to with Blake before I got here. Because you are wet. I may not have seen it but the musk of an orgasm is in the air. I intrigued. I wonder why you two haven’t had sex yet. It is bound to happen…is it not?”*
*“We were both nude. We had a little to drink. We listened to old records.”*
*“Not too dissimilar to a listening party.”*
*“We agreed not to have sex. He had one under-ripe banana. It made sense.”*
Stephen stopped dead in his tracks, down to just a pair of underwear.
*“A banana…of course. The most phallic fruit of all. And it is quite forbidden.”*
Then he had nothing on. Stephen got onto the bed. Wow, what a body. Seth and Stephen were becoming more alike over time. I moved up, running my hands up the sides of his body. I placed my hands on his shoulder blades as I anchored myself into position. I felt waves of nerves showering over me. It was not that I was being watched. It was more I was so not used to be on top with Stephen. That felt truly alien. His cock was twitching so much. It was as if he had suddenly encountered nerves he hadn’t experienced before. He grabbed himself to get the angle right and in he went. Yet another confronting situation. I was the one to move. Riding up and down on that hard cock of his. I was breaking out in a flush. My nipples were so sensitive. So erect. I created one hell of a curvature in my spine. Sex between Stephen and I was almost never silent. It was peppered with dirty talk. Not on this occasion. His hands grabbed me from behind, cupping my ass.
*“Don’t try and move me, Stephen, I have the control, not you.”*
I didn’t allow Stephen to touch me in any other way. He was a bit lost. Perhaps a bit mesmerized I was doing everything he normally does. I knew he wouldn’t last long. He had already screwed Seth twice that night and he was a bit out of steam. He forgot he was getting older and perhaps lacked a lot of the stamina he once had. I was not in the right frame of mind to notice the men getting very loud. There was Blake…looking very out of it, having just shot a wad that got him on the chest. Stephen was spent. He had so many beads of sweat on his chest. I reached up to wipe his tired brows.
*“The Stephen stamina is something to be proud of. Three times in one night. Go you good thing go.”*
*“What do you mean three times?”*
*“Blake. This man also made love to Seth twice tonight.”*
*“Was that the first time that had happened, Stephen?”*
*“Yes. It was most exquisite. And so was this. I didn’t have to think about anything other than the pleasure. It was nice not to control the situation. I should do this more often.”*
*“As we get older, we are becoming a lot more flexible with the mind. We already were more flexible than most. We are becoming more honest about things. Like Blake and I admitting we did do something rather naughty many years ago. We always pretended we did nothing of the sort until we were both tripping on acid in 1989 during the “World Quake” sessions.”*
*“What was it you did?”*
*“Well, Stephen…the year was 1966. Do you know this story?”*
*“I do, but I want to hear you say it.”*
*“I took both Minnie and Kitty as dates because both had their hearts broken a month beforehand. And my relationship was Minuet’s sister was long over. Yeah, Seth was caught being tongue tied with Bree. One very upset teenaged Kitty. So yeah I kissed her. The tongue was involved. We went back to the Tune house. Upstairs in the bedroom, there she was in her smalls with a tear-stained face. We had a bit to drink. Minuet fell asleep on a sofa that was in the corner of the room. There were Kitty and me with no clothes on. I had no idea what time it was. During the night my hand had somehow brushed her downstairs. Then I heard words I had dreamed of hearing. ‘Touch me’. ‘Are you sure?’. And she whispered yes to me. So my hand went between her legs. She was saturated. So I gave her an orgasm. I admit I made a bit of a mess myself because…as you would know…having a woman twitch and shake and make such sweet sighs is pretty fucking sexy. Especially so in this case because it was Kitty Jacqueline Tune. When we woke in the morning, I asked if we had done something. She said no. We both kind of smiled at one another and didn’t speak of it again until some twenty-three years later.”*
Stephen giggled. *“That is a cute story. But why did you both deny it?”*
*“Because I had just spent two years having Blake as older brother material. Or an elder statesman. He is two years older, after all. Sex education was not forthcoming at school so I relied on the words of Harmony and Blake who were bonking each other stupid all through 1964 and at least the first few months of 1965. I didn’t see him in a certain kind of light until that day. Well when he turned up at my parent’s house in a nice suit. He looked gorgeous and he knew how to make us ladies feel special. To go from friends to knowing you crossed a rather lovely line – I was embarrassed and so was he. It was heat of the moment stuff.”*
*“Teenagehood is often full of stories like that. I wasn’t that experienced by the time I went to university. It was disconcerting to be suddenly surrounded by adults and there was me, somewhat embarrassed I was still a virgin. I had become quite friendly with an art tutor who was on the floor between the music and linguistics department. Yeah well one night she came onto me and I responded. And for about a month, it was all this new experimental stuff. Then she quit her job and disappeared. She was a lot older than me and I was so embarrassed…no one ever found out. Oh, there were a few rumours and that is when the university newspaper started becoming obsessed with me. By 1966, a woman couldn’t be seen talking to me without everyone assuming I was up to no good with them.”*
*“I remember you telling me about that. I thought it was quite funny, you are lucky you were not caught with your pants down!”*
*“Serves me right. Between her and you, I had about three girlfriends. Not worthy of a mention. The last one was embarrassing. Carolina being some crazy Spanish woman who was studying French. Well, I do need a shower. We all do. Sex always was rather messy…”*
*“I feel like I have just been out to get milk or something. Such a highly charged sexual situation yet I really don’t feel guilty about it all.”*
*“You shouldn’t feel guilty, Kitty. Don’t waste the time worrying about it.”*
*“After all girly…society ought to just accept you for being you.”*
*“Well I am sorry to love you and leave you but I feel like I need to get back to the abode. I don’t want Seth waking up alone. Especially with Frank being the prick he is…I know it is late.”*
*“It will be 5 a.m. before you get back.”*
*“So be it…I wish there was two of me so I could be here and there but you have Blake – Seth doesn’t have anybody. Look after this treasure, Blake.”*
*“I will. In fact, I will drive her home tomorrow in her car. And if you are okay with it, let me kip at the abode for a few days. Just to be sure. I don’t want Frank anywhere near her or the kids.”*
He was gone. He always came into my life like a cool summer breeze, enough to enlighten the senses further before he would be gone and you would be left with the most beautiful of memories. I am getting more flowery in my old age. I was coming off the high and the alcohol was wearing off.
*“I look so tired.”*
*“Ooh I don’t care what you think, Kitty. You just blew my mind in so many ways.”*
Source: reddit.com/r/sexystories/comments/8derq5/dancing_in_the_dark_mfm_bi_mastvoyexh