It’s pronounced boo-car-kay, actually. [fmmmmmmmmm][buk]

I just couldn’t help myself. I know it’s lame, and I know it’s a stupid thing to be pedantic about, but for some reason, it just really grinds me. It’s like, I have this friend on Facebook who goes completely mental when someone mistypes “there” or “their” or “they’re”, and I had a boyfriend once who would get red-faced over the “10 items or less” signs at the supermarket.

I’m not that weird, is all I’m saying. Not really.

I was standing behind another customer, in the dimly lit basement of _Dirty Dreams_ and I was half-listening to him. “Do you have, uh, any of that Japanese stuff? You know with the girl and all the guys?” He looked more or less like you’d expect. Big sweaty guy whose ass-crack was winking nauseatingly at me from the too-tight waist of his pants.

“Bukkake?” asked the clerk.

I couldn’t help it. I cleared my throat, “Actually,” I said, “it’s pronounced boo-car-kay”. The guy swivelled to look at me. He inspected me like I’d shown up at his doorstep trying to sell him religion.

He snorted, “‘Boo-car-kay’, huh? And you’re some kind of – ” he waved his hand dismissively – “expert?”

I shrank into myself and mumbled. “I guess? Kinda? I mean I – you know.” I could see the clerk peering around sweaty guy, straining to get a look at me.

“I’m pretty sure it’s boo-kah-key”, he said. The clerk’s voice was thin and reedy, a nasal drawl. He drew out the second syllable in his irritating tone like “boo caaaaar key”. I shuddered involuntarily.

Another customer, hidden among the anal porn, joined the debate. “No, man. I think she’s right. Boo-kar-KAY. I heard that before.”

The clerk is insistent. “No way, dude. Like, I’m a _professional_ and shit. I would totally know if it were boo-KAR-kay.”

I raise a hand, “Nuh-uh, anal porn guy had it right: boo-kar-KAY. It’s from the, uh, verb ‘to splash’. Kakeru.” Anal porn guy gives me a friendly wave with a copy of _In The Ass_. Sweaty guy rubs his beard thoughtfully.

“To splash, huh? You seem to know a lot about this shit.”

I blush, “I … have sort of a thing about it … ”

I’m attracting more attention now. A young guy over by the sex toys puts down the Lelo Hugo he’s been considering for the last twenty minutes and saunters over. “You’re into bukkake?” He pronounces it perfectly, I’m pleased to note.

I nod, “I’ve seen like *every* GGG film. Twice. I just get really _hot_ thinking about it.”

“Wow. Do you have, like, a favourite?”

I don’t even hesitate. “_Swallow Competition_. Undoubtedly the greatest cum swapping scene in cinematic history. Absolute masterpiece. Also _Viktoria, Sperm Queen_. She’s at the top of her game in that one. The cum bubbles she blows are out of this world.” I shake my head. “She just has this unerring _grace_ with semen, it’s effortless.”

Mr Sweaty is looking at me with a new-found respect. “So would you be able to recommend me something?”

I just shrug, “Sure, I guess. Are you a collector, or a beginner?”

He looks a little embarrassed, “Nahhh… I’m definitely a beginner,” he says.

“That’s okay!” I reassure him, “That’s okay. Okay, well, let’s see now.” I think for a moment, mentally running my fingertips over the spines of DVDs in my living room: Cum-swapping Sluts III, Interracial Blow Bang, Glory Hole Whore IV. “You can’t really go wrong with any of the Best of Bukkake series.” I tell him, “There’s, like, 80 of them, you can more or less take your pick. I have a particular fondness for the earlier films, which I think are less knowingly self-referential. They have a … a quaintly naive charm that’s really been lost by the later flicks, but if you want something less – you know – mass-produced, I recently fell in love with a German import. ‘Private Lustschwein: Das Fickluder’.” Sweaty Guy nods his thanks, he looks lost in reflection.

Anal porn guy is now stood by my right elbow, “Are you just into the films, or is this a real fantasy for you?”

My face flushes a deep scarlet red, “Oh God, yeah, this is a total real-life fantasy for me. I would totally love to do a bukkake scene, but that’s never going to happen, right?”

The crowd of pornography enthusiasts who have slowly encircled me chuckle, and say things like “Yeah right” and “Dream on”.

“Go on, then,” urges Mr Anal Porn, “tell us, how would it happen?”

I just laugh, “well that’s it, isn’t it? It’s completely impossible to work out a scenario where it *could* happen, in real life I mean, but for the sake of argument: let’s say I go to an adult cinema, or a … a porn store, and somehow I get to talking with a group of guys and *somehow* we broach the topic of bukkake.” We all laugh heartily at this. “I mean, can you imagine?”

One the laughter has died down, I continue. “Well, okay then. I would sink to my knees, like this.” I slowly lower myself to the ground so that I am looking up at my audience, “and I guess I would grab the first guy by the material of his pants and pull him to me so that I could like nuzzle his crotch. I like the smell of cock, it gets me going, you see. It’s that dirty animal musk that makes my juices start to run. I can’t help it, it’s something deep and instinctive. So I’d be kissing and nuzzling his crotch and I’d be able to feel his cock slowly getting hard in there, and I’d reach into his pants and pull it out. Just one cock. Obviously, or it would be .. a whole other fetish.”

An elderly gentleman clutching a copy of “The Submission of Emma Marx” and a pussy pump enquires, “Black? White? Thick? Cut?”

I pull a thoughtful pout, “Hadn’t really thought about it. I mean the first cock is just an appetiser, right? Whatever’s available, really.”

There’s general nodding and murmuring at this. “So once he was getting hard, I’d pull him out and I’d just give a slow, sloppy blow job. He’d stand completely still for me and just let me go to town on his dick. I’d take him in both hands, so that I could massage his balls while I jerked him into my mouth. I’d get him right down inside my throat, and rub his cock all over my face, so he could see how much I wanted it. I’d get him wet and slippy with my spit and just suck him deep into my mouth over and over again. My lips would slide all over his hardened member, polishing the head and teasing his sweet spot so that he’d shudder and groan. I’d take my time for the first one, so that all the other guys could see and they’d be getting hard, too. Eventually, when he was about to blow, I’d pull him out of my mouth and jerk him to a finish, aiming him so that his cum splattered all over my lips. Some would go in my mouth, because I *fucking love* the feeling of cum shooting into my mouth,but mostly it would just splash my lips, and then I’d look around at all the other guys, lick my lips and just say ‘Mmmmmmmm…'”

“Jesus” says a quiet voice at the back, “Then what?”

I stand up again, “My audience would be just _super_ horny at this point, and they’d all fall on me and pick me up between them, like five or six guys at least carrying me. One’s got my left leg, and another’s got my head, and so on such that I can’t struggle or get away. I’m like *completely* captured. And they would all take me to the bathroom, to be somewhere private, right? And they’d put me down in there, kneeling in front of the urinal, and I’d make bedroom eyes at them and lick my lips some more. Another couple of guys would get their dicks out and start to stroke them for me. My mouth would suck the head of one, and then the other. I’d bob my head up and down, massaging their thick shafts with my wet mouth, and every time I pulled away from one of them it would make a wet *pop* noise, you know? A really slurping wet pop. I’d be jerking them, one in each hand, and sucking the precum from their dicks in turn. They’d be so turned on already that it wouldn’t take them long to cum, both of them shooting their loads onto my face so that I’d have to close my eyes and my mascara would start to run. I’d rub their sticky man-cream all over my face and then lick it off my fingers. The next guy would tell me to raise my arms up in the air, and then he’d pull my t-shirt off me so that my tits were out, and he’d just stick his cock straight into my mouth and start fucking my face. I’d take his hands and put them on the back of my head, so that he could really get going. I’d be gagging and choking on him, drooling and making little gurgling noises, and when he finished he’d just explode all over my tits. I’d scoop up some of his cum and rub it around my nipples, and it would feel _so_ good and _so_ dirty. I’d be moaning and pinching my nipples while another couple of guys started to jerk their cocks for me. I’d call over a third guy and he would take my mouth while my hands helped the other two. I’d have one dick in my mouth and one in each hand. The guy in my mouth would have to be pretty patient, I guess, it would be kind of difficult to give a decent blowjob under the circumstances, but I imagine he’d be understanding.”

The clerk joins in, “Sure, it would be kinda *rude* otherwise, you’d have a lot on your plate, right?”

I smile at him, “Yeah, like my hands would be kinda full. So the two guys I’m jerking would cum for me and I’d feel their cocks twitching and squirting, and they’d blow ribbons of sperm all over my hair and my face so by this point I’m looking like a real mess. I’ve got cum in my hair, all over my mouth and eyes, my make up is running, and my tits have been glazed.” I look around, “Is that everything?” Sweaty guy gives a thumbs up. “Thanks, so now I can concentrate on the cock in my mouth and he gets to fuck my throat. His thick shaft slides in and out and I’m getting astoundingly *wet* at this point, so when he gives me his load, I just take a minute for myself.”

For this next part, I mime my actions in order drive home my point: “I slide off my pants, and all the guys around me can see that the crotch of my panties is soaked. I play with his cum in my mouth, just gargling it and rolling it around on my tongue so that everyone can see what a fucking cum slut I am, and I dip my hand into my panties to rub my clit.” I open my mouth wide as though it were filled with semen, and my right hand describes a circle over my crotch. My left hand squeezes at my breast. The clerk swallows hard and adjusts his pants.

I continue: “The next guy stands in front of me and he fucks my tits, just slides his cock right on in there and squeezes them together while I frig myself. My tits are already slippery and slimy with cum, so he can slide in and out pretty easily and we cum at the same time. My clit is rock hard and it only takes me a couple of minutes, and as I cum he just explodes all over me so my face is dripping with jizz, and it’s dripping off my nipples and all over my belly.”

A creepy-looking guy stood at the back shouts “Hey, do we get to fuck your pussy, too?”

The rest of the audience turn on him as one. Sweaty guy looms over him, “What the fuck, man? The lady is telling a story. That’s fucking rude.”

“Yeah!” shouts Mr Lelo Hugo, “Leave her alone, you creepy motherfucker. Show some respect.”

There’s a rising tide of angry jeers and muttered threats, and to avoid trouble the clerk says, “I think maybe you’d better leave, guy,” and the creepy-looking dude slinks off miserably.

I am unaccountably pleased by this. “Hey, thanks you guys, that’s really sweet.” Some ten or fifteen strangers shrug and say “Shucks, dont worry about it” and “No problemo” and so on.

“Uh, where was I?” I ask.

The elderly BDSM fan raises his hand, and I nod to him, “You were on your knees, with your hand in your panties and you had just rubbed your clit until you came, while another customer came on your face and tits.”

“Oh! That’s right, yes. Poor creepy-guy, if only he had been a little more patient.” I slip my hoodie off over my head, leaving just a t-shirt. It’s suddenly kinda warm in the darkened basement. “So I’m so wet right now, I mean my thighs are soaked in my girl cum, just as my face and tits are covered in yours, but I need more, so I stand up and face the wall, the urinal, remember. I place my hands on the wall above the urinal and just, like, *beg* ‘Fuck me, please’ all breathy and horny and I wiggle my little tush around.” I lean up against the wall of the porn store to demonstrate, my hands spread as though I’m being frisked by a police officer, and I give a friendly little wiggle. I wish, suddenly, that I knew how to twerk.

“So one of you would come up behind me and just, like, force his cock inside me. I’d be so wet that it would slip inside immediately and then you would just fuck me, up against the urinal, with my head pushed into the wall, and your fat meaty cock punching the inside of my cunt and I’d just start to orgasm immediately. Like screaming in pleasure, with my face all sticky and my makeup ruined. Maybe one of you would be kind enough to reach around and rub my clitty while you fucked me and I’d just about lose my mind, feeling like such a filthy whore, getting gang banged in the bathroom of a porn store by strangers.”

I turn around again to face my admirers, “once they’d shot their wad up inside me, another guy would immediately jump in. I’d be so sloppy at this point that it would be kinda hard to feel much friction, so he’d have to *really* fuck me hard. He’d have to go at me like he wanted to hurt me, is what I’m saying, he’d have to really abuse my pussy and every time he slammed into me I’d go “oh” so it would be like ‘oh oh oh oh oh oh fuck yes oh fuck’. When he came inside me I would turn around to face you all, and I’d put my hand underneath myself, and – while you all watched me – I would squeeze out all that filthy cummy mess into my hand and lap it up like a kitten eating cream, then wipe my hand on my tits.”

“Mmmmm…” I say, “that’s so fucking yummy.”

“Holy fuck,” says Hugo, “then what?”

I pause for a moment and chew thoughtfully at a fingernail. “Well, I guess since my pussy would be too spermed up, and my face and tits are pretty glazed, the last couple of guys would just have to fuck my ass. I would get down on all fours, like this,” I say, and sink to the floor with my ass raised high in the air, and my face resting on the ground, “so that my slobbery wet cunt and my tight little asshole were available for you to use. I think it would be sensible if the first guy took some of the cum and grool from my leaking cunt and used it to lubricate my ass. So I guess he would finger me for a minute or two while I just moaned and played with my clit? Once I was slippery and relaxed, he would gently ease himself inside me, and I would lift my head up off the floor to beg for more cocks. One of you guys, maybe you – ” I say pointing to a quiet guy stood by the Tranny section – ” would slip his cock into my mouth while the other guy began to fuck my ass. It would feel so good that I’d just start to groan and moan around your shaft. My tight ass would be milking his cock, and he’d have been jerking all this time, so he’d dump his baby batter into my rectum within seconds while you finished all over my face again, giving me one last glazing.”

There is complete silence. “Anyway,” I say, still hunched on the floor, “boo-kar-KAY. Please don’t forget.”

———————————————

I’m Robin Goodfellow. I write stories for people for reasons that quite escape me. If this turned you on, turned you off, turned your stomach, turned you gay, or turned you upside down then drop me a line. I do this for orange envelopes and upvotes.

Source: reddit.com/r/sexystories/comments/7p7gd2/its_pronounced_boocarkay_actually_fmmmmmmmmmbuk