Excerpt from “Heading to Apoc” by Morgan Destera
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Vin has encouraged me to make this recording. He originally wanted me to write, but I don’t know how. They don’t teach you much if you’re a Breeder. You learn to speak, to have manners, but little else. You only have one purpose – to f**k, as Vin said. And to produce. I couldn’t produce so I ended up in the Shafts. Vin was my supervisor from Day One in the Shafts. He pretty much ignored me I thought. But now I know better. He had been a Breeder too, at one time. And some of the other workers who I thought had been killed or tortured, had been smuggled out by him.
And now it’s my turn. Vin saw my scars and knew what they were from. He had seen it happen to others. He saw past my scars also. That’s something no one else has been able to do. I keep to myself for a reason. If I should disappear, I wanted no one left behind. There was no reason for it. I was flawed, scarred, and shunned. I was ready to die – and had come close several times – but the survival instinct had been stronger than my willingness to succumb.
And now there is Vin. Something I never wanted – a person who cared. I’d had that once – my mother had cared – and the pain that remained from her loss still hurts. I don’t want that again. I don’t want the pain.
But he introduced me to pleasure too.
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